New Year, Same Me?

PART ONE

A warm sunbeam peeped through the partially closed curtains, causing Derryl to wake up and rub the sleep from his eyes. He sat up and looked around. He wasn't in his bedroom, it was the almost unfamiliar guest room of an increasingly familiar man who'd invited his family to spend New Years with him... He smiled slightly. Finally, it was New Year's Day. Which could only mean...

He jumped out of bed and ran towards an antique mirror in the corner of the room, only to halt mid-step with a confused "Wah...?" He stood face to face with a young teenager with floppy hair and acne-ridden skin. The same young teenager he'd been seeing for the last year in every single reflective surface. "But, but... We were supposed to... It was meant to... It's the new year!" He blustered before stomping his foot with a frustrated growl.

Derryl sulked out of his room and through the warm cabin. There he saw a young man in the open kitchen cooking some scrambled eggs, coffee in hand. He was needlessly shirtless, as if he were showing off his toned muscles. "Hey there, sport," he grinned as he set the eggs aside. "Happy New Year! We missed you at midnight. You just couldn't stay up an extra hour, could you?"

"Don't you 'Happy New Year' me, Asher!" Deryll replied in disgust. "Why haven't we swapped back? It's a new year! Those old resolutions should be null and void, and I should be your father again!"

"Well if you'd stayed up last night, you'd know I had this exact conversation with-"

"I don't care about your boyfriend! I only care about reclaiming what was once mine!"

"Okay, cool your temper and let me plate up some breakfast. Then we can discuss things a little further. We're mere hours into the new year, don't spoil it with those rancid vibes."

Deryll scraped a chair out from under the table and slumped into it with a scowl. "Stupid site, stupid magic, stupid life..." he grumbled under his breath as Asher prepared some bacon and eggs for him. "I spent weeks trying to get a response from that hackneyed group that wasn't just automated bullshit."

"Language..."

"Then when I finally got through to an actual person, they couldn't do anything but tell me to wait! All I've done for the past year is wait. Wait wait wait!"

"Well maybe if you worked on the entire reason we swapped... You know, our resolutions? Then maybe you'd feel more fulfilled with the way things have turned out."

Vignettes - I'm Back

Yes, I'm back. I've had a major case of writer's block. So to shake it off, I've written a few shorter stories. I can't say it's majorly helped, but I'd like to think (and hope!) that you'll hear from me again much sooner than this last gap!

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No More!

PART ONE

It was the sunniest day of the summer. Folks were out and about enjoying the beaches and parks while they still could, because fall was just around the corner. School was due to start in a couple weeks, and kids of all ages wanted to squeeze every last piece of enjoyment out of it. Nobody wanted to sit inside playing video games at a time like this!

Well, nobody except for Phillip and Lee. Even now, they were cooped up in the play room, air conditioning blasting on max, music blaring from the speakers as they threw insults and banana peels at each other in a relatively friendly round of Mario Kart, the electricity bill creeping ever higher.

Well, I was having none of that. It may be just another day of summer vacation, a summer that was rapidly drawing to a close, but they shouldn't be wasting it on a stale racing game. Not on my watch.

I'd just stepped back into the house after a pleasant snooze in the warm sun, when I came across the sad mess. I walked into the play room, causing Phillip to scramble for the pause button, and I stepped dead center in front of the TV, resting against the shelving beneath it. "I don't get you boys," I said cheerfully. "It's a beautiful day outside, and you're cooped up inside playing your video games. You don't have long until you have to go back to school. You should be making the most of it!"

I wasn't expecting an outburst of eager cries declaring me the wisest person alive or anything, but I at least expected an answer. I'm afraid my words of encouragement fell on deaf ears. Phillip gaped at me, while Lee did his best not to look in my direction. Although I could tell he was covertly peeking at me through his fingers. Finally, Phillip groaned. "Oh my god, dad! Put some clothes on!"

I chuckled and scratched at the hairs across my pecs. I was only wearing a pair of gym shorts after all. "I've been outside, enjoying that glorious sun I just told you about. You've heard of the sun, right? Big ball of fire that provides warmth and life to the planet? When was the last time you saw that, huh?"

Daaaaaad!" Phillip moaned, which only made me grin harder. I did enjoy making him suffer from embarrassment from time to time. It made up for all the times he embarrassed me in similar situations. Lord knew the amount of times he'd walk around the house in his underwear when I had company round. "Just get out of the way, I'm so close to winning!"

"Not if my blue shell has anything to say about it," Lee chuckled, still trying to avoid looking in my general direction.

I stood up, stretching out my limbs with an exaggerated sigh. "Well, why don't I join you boys? I could play as the little dinosaur guy. What's he called again, Yogi?"

"Daaaad!" Phillip almost screamed. He knew I was joshing, and I knew that only made him more annoyed. I tried not to let myself grin too wide. Revenge is sweet after all. Phillip dropped his controller, stood up, and grabbed me by the arm, dragging me out of the room. "Why are you doing this? You know I had Lee over, there's no reason to parade your body and act out like this!".

"Hey, I'm just following your lead. At least I have shorts on. Remember the time Benny was here and you accidentally mooned him?"

"I'd rather forget... And that's different, I didn't know any better. You should know that no kid wants to see their friend's dad half naked" Phillip pinched the bridge of his nose, and grunted. "Look, we want to finish the tournament before Lee's mom picks him up. At least put some damn clothes on for her sake!"

Not Always Greener

I pulled up outside my old house and sighed. I can't believe it's really been a month. I thought it was going to be a breeze. Hell, I even thought I'd conveniently misplace the brooch, and never go back. But modern teen life definitely wasn't how I imagined it would be. I'm almost glad to be going back to living my old life, even if it wasn't exciting. It was a mistake to consider playing out my fantasy. At least I know Brent is going to be pleased to get back to his own life too...

I knocked on the front door, and was a little dismayed when Frank opened the door. It was strange to see him after a full month. It was crazy how much I missed his beautiful face, his warm touch... "Oh, Gerald," he said with a smile. "What a surprise! I wish you'd called ahead, I was just about to head out."

I was surprised. Didn't Brent let him know I was coming? We did mark today's date down in our phones, just in case we forgot. I smiled and nodded, saying, "Don't worry, I just came by to see my uncle. We have things to discuss."

"He's outside in his usual spot," Frank replied, patting me on the shoulder as he left. I shuddered at his touch, I couldn't wait for things to get back to normal. He turned on his heel, then added, "If you stick around for dinner, I'm making my famous meatloaf."

I waved him goodbye, knowing I would definitely be around for dinner. His meatloaf really was the best. I couldn't wait to sit at the dinner table with him, gossiping about the neighbors, and complaining about work. It's the little things you miss... 

Pep Talk

 

Okay... You're okay... So you're suddenly big and hairy and old... But that's fine! You'll find a way to...to not be big a-and hairy and...old... Just be cool, you're just a normal guy who's washing his hands, and you're gonna... AH!

I leap back from the sink and clutch my chest, before whipping my hand away as it brushes against my chest hair... Ugh, it still sounds weird to say it. My chest hair. I have chest hair. And stomach hair. And back hair, ew... I grip the edge of the sink to stop my legs from collapsing again, and exhale a deep sigh. I need to ground myself, and recall what happened...

Again!?

I did not expect to have as long a break as I did, but I'm back! I thought I'd start off by revisiting an old favourite. You might recognise this as a caption I wrote a few years back. I thought I'd look back through my old stuff and take a shot at expanding on them. Are there anything you've read and wished it was a bit longer? Let me know and maybe I'll give it a go!

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I arrived home from a long day at school brimming with anticipation. The weekend was finally here! I had no homework to complete, and no plans. It was just me and my PS4 all weekend long. I kicked my shoes off and dumped my bag on the staircase, only to pause in suspicion. The house seemed quiet. A bit too quiet... I gripped the banister and yelled upstairs. "Hey dad! You home?"

There was a pause before I heard a response. I couldn't make out what he said, it sounded like he was busy with something. He'd promised not to get up to his usual antics this weekend so hopefully he'd gotten a head start on cleaning the house. I fist pumped and darted into the living room, jumping over the side of the sofa to land on the soft cushions below. I grabbed the TV remote, started up the PS4 and got comfy. I'd had a busy week, and I was ready to play some games. I stretched my thumbs across the controller with a goofy grin, I really missed this. I barely had the time to do anything for myself recently. I was more than ready for some me time. I scrolled through my games library, a small twinge of guilt at how many I had yet to play. A few minutes of debilitating later, I finally decided on an old favourite. 

Yet before I could start it up, my stomach growled and I felt a sharp tingle run down my spine. It was a peculiar, unpleasant feeling that I had become familiar with, much to my disappointment. It's been almost a year since the first time and it still felt weird. I cursed out loud and jumped to my feet, tossing the controller aside. Why now of all times, he'd promised me a break this weekend! Already, I felt that uncomfortable, inflating sensation. Like someone was pumping me with gas. I yanked my shirt off in one swift movement, noticing how my chest seemed to swell with every breath I took. A couple of little hairs had sprung up around my nipples and the centre of my chest. 

Next, I unbuckled my belt and shimmied my jeans down my thicker, hairier thighs. I struggled a moment to get my feet through the leg holes, eventually losing my balance and falling back onto the sofa. I sighed in frustration, I've been through this ordeal a hundred times, at least, yet I still struggled with it. It would help if my dad didn't spring it on me without prior warning. I yanked my underwear off, freeing my junk from their tight, cotton confines. I scratched at my chin as sharp stubble broke through the skin in irritating waves. 

No longer at risk of destroying my clothes, I laid back on the sofa and waited for the changes to finish, mentally cursing my dad for using that remote again. By now, I looked like a college graduate with a slim yet firm body, and a decent spread of hair across my chest. Although I never stayed that way for long, as I raced through my twenties without much fanfare. As I continued to age, I could feel my muscles ache as they bulked up, which was always a welcome feeling. I grinned as my biceps inflated, and my thighs got meatier.

As I approached my forties, my scalp felt itchy as each individual hair faded in colour, focused mostly on the sides but a wave of steel grey eventually swept throughout. My skin grew weathered and rough as a subtle thickness blanketed my buff muscles. I flinched slightly as a tattoo inked itself into existence on my shoulder, which signalled the end of my growth spurt. I leaned back against the sofa with a sigh. Aging three decades in a few minutes certainly takes a lot out of you. I may have gone through the process dozens of times by now but it never got any easier.

Replacement Dad

The air was brimming with tension. Adam glanced nervously at the man sat in the armchair, a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands. He was a lean, scruffy man in his late forties wearing a plaid dressing gown that he'd retrieved for him after their unfortunate first meeting. They hadn't spoke for several minutes now. Adam was starting to sweat from anxiety, waiting for the stoic man to yell at him in anger. He took a long sip of coffee, then finally he looked Adam in the eye. Instead of anger, he spoke calmly with a bit of grit in his voice. "So tell me again what happened exactly."

Adam took a deep breath, and replied "I made a wish last night, and then it came true."

"And that wish was...?"

"For my best friend to be my real dad..."

"And that's why I'm now a 48 year old, widowed father of one? A botched wish?"

Adam was on the verge of tears. He said "I only meant it jokingly because you're so kind to me, and my real dad is so evil... I didn't know it would actually come true! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Again?

Vacation Favor

Test The Claims

Argument