New Year, Same Me?

PART ONE

A warm sunbeam peeped through the partially closed curtains, causing Derryl to wake up and rub the sleep from his eyes. He sat up and looked around. He wasn't in his bedroom, it was the almost unfamiliar guest room of an increasingly familiar man who'd invited his family to spend New Years with him... He smiled slightly. Finally, it was New Year's Day. Which could only mean...

He jumped out of bed and ran towards an antique mirror in the corner of the room, only to halt mid-step with a confused "Wah...?" He stood face to face with a young teenager with floppy hair and acne-ridden skin. The same young teenager he'd been seeing for the last year in every single reflective surface. "But, but... We were supposed to... It was meant to... It's the new year!" He blustered before stomping his foot with a frustrated growl.

Derryl sulked out of his room and through the warm cabin. There he saw a young man in the open kitchen cooking some scrambled eggs, coffee in hand. He was needlessly shirtless, as if he were showing off his toned muscles. "Hey there, sport," he grinned as he set the eggs aside. "Happy New Year! We missed you at midnight. You just couldn't stay up an extra hour, could you?"

"Don't you 'Happy New Year' me, Asher!" Deryll replied in disgust. "Why haven't we swapped back? It's a new year! Those old resolutions should be null and void, and I should be your father again!"

"Well if you'd stayed up last night, you'd know I had this exact conversation with-"

"I don't care about your boyfriend! I only care about reclaiming what was once mine!"

"Okay, cool your temper and let me plate up some breakfast. Then we can discuss things a little further. We're mere hours into the new year, don't spoil it with those rancid vibes."

Deryll scraped a chair out from under the table and slumped into it with a scowl. "Stupid site, stupid magic, stupid life..." he grumbled under his breath as Asher prepared some bacon and eggs for him. "I spent weeks trying to get a response from that hackneyed group that wasn't just automated bullshit."

"Language..."

"Then when I finally got through to an actual person, they couldn't do anything but tell me to wait! All I've done for the past year is wait. Wait wait wait!"

"Well maybe if you worked on the entire reason we swapped... You know, our resolutions? Then maybe you'd feel more fulfilled with the way things have turned out."

Vignettes - I'm Back

Yes, I'm back. I've had a major case of writer's block. So to shake it off, I've written a few shorter stories. I can't say it's majorly helped, but I'd like to think (and hope!) that you'll hear from me again much sooner than this last gap!

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Resolution Change Initiative

Asher kicked his legs impatiently as he stared at his book. This was the fourth time he'd read the same sentence over, not even taking it in. This was so boring, how much more did he even have to read? He flipped to the end of the book. 217 pages. He flipped back to where he was. Page 14. He groaned and tossed the book aside. He could finish it later. And if not, there was always the film adaptation. Or he could even ask ChatGPT for a concise summary. Instead, he turned on his computer, opening Steam in the process.

"That doesn't sound like reading to me." As if by magic, his dad entered the room clutching a bundle of dirty laundry. "Come on, you said you were going to get a kickstart on your homework without leaving it to the last minute as usual."

"No, you said that," Asher grumbled. "And I basically read a whole chapter. They're not expecting us to do it all at once."

"What about your new year resolution? Abandoning your work for tomfoolery isn't exactly responsible."

Asher rolled his eyes. Big words coming from a man who's been divorced twice... But he wasn't wrong. There was a new year's resolution website that was trending in the weeks leading up to the new year, New You Resolution, and he wanted to join in. But he didn't want to do the usual lose weight, learn a language, daily assertions crap that all the adults did. In fact, he didn't want to commit to anything, he just wanted the clout from participating. So he chose a very simple goal - to be more responsible. It was an empty gesture, really. Something that sounded meaningful while also being easy to fulfil. He led such a slothful life that by cleaning his room every other week or washing the dishes every now and then, he'd already be on the road to success. If only he hadn't told his dad about the site...

"The year's barely started," Asher whined. "Cut me some slack! Or should I chastise you for not constantly following your resolution. What was it again, to be more chill and laid-back?"

"It was to relax. Stop and smell the roses, thank you very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a load of your dirty washing to put in the machine." He turned on his heel and left, muttering to himself.

Road Trip

  

Where the hell was Jason? He'd left me alone in this overnight homestay right as I was packed and ready to move onto the next leg of our journey. Of course, he was probably out "working on his gains" or whatever... It didn't help that I'd woken up early after yet another restless night, thoughts of my current predicament plaguing my mind. My stomach growled, desperate for chicken and waffles from the diner I spotted last night.

Finally, I heard the front door open and shut, followed by heavy panting. I peeked around the corner to see my half-brother leant up against the wall. He was wearing just gym shorts and a pair of sneakers. Flaunting his buff, hairy body, almost like he was taunting me. His chest hair was matted to his sweaty skin, more sweat dripping down his unshaven cheeks and that dumb mustache of his.

"Whew, the gym in this place is ace!" Jason praised through intermittent breaths. "I was expecting an afterthought like in the last joint, but they have the whole she-bang! I haven't pushed myself that hard in a while." I grumbled in response, not wanting the whole story. He walked towards the kitchen, empty bottle in hand. "I came back from some much needed hydration, then I'm going to take a quick run to cool down, and we can head out to get some breakfast. Sound good?"

I stared daggers at him. Who did he think he was, trying to take control of the road trip? I was the one who got us here, I was the one who wrote up the itinerary, I planned it all! I oughtta... "Hold on," I piped up, reaching for my own sneakers. "I want to go with you."

"You want to go on a run with me?" He asked, almost surprised. "Are you sure? It's not the flattest terrain. I mean, no offense, but you're a novice when it comes to physical activity. Maybe we could start smaller, get on a treadmill or-"

"No, I want to go with you now!" I growled. There he goes again, trying to coddle me. Treating me like a child. It was nerve grating! "The whole point of this trip was to spend time together, right? And you keep doing your own stuff. It's not fair."

Jason tugged on that dumb mustache of his, clearly conflicted, before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. "Alright," he sighed. "I suppose I should take it slow for a cool down."

And there he goes, guilt-tripping me. Like it's my fault I want to spend time with him. I don't care what he looks like now, he's still my baby brother. I'll show him what I'm capable of. Even if everything was different now, I can prove I'm still big brother material. I have to. I can't let him take it from me...

Hidden Cove, Hidden Intentions

"I don't think we're allowed out here," Oscar grumbled as he tip-toed through the overgrown path. "Did you see those signs? It looked like a bunch of warnings..."

"Ah, you worry too much, bud!" Ron grinned. "I did some research before the trip, and this place cropped up! It's off-the-radar, untouched by the masses." As they stumbled down the rocky path, they stepped into the secluded cove of Tānetanga and they both gaped. "See? Paradise! And look, there are other people here. So much for warnings."

Oscar looked at the other people, subconsciously noting a heavy presence of men. It was a pretty looking beach, but he would still rather be at the large beach where everyone else was, where the ice cream truck was, and that super-cool inflatable slide floating just off shore. But he rarely got to spend time with his dad. He was surprised his mom even let them go on vacation, just the two of them. She always complained about him. How he's always late on child support, he only shows up when he needs something, that he's a charlatan, whatever that was. So to allowed them to go all the way to New Zealand must mean that she trusts him for once.

As he walked down toward the beach, Oscar felt a tingle in his feet. The familiar warmth of the sun-baked sand spread across his soles. Except he was wearing flip-flops and standing in the shade. When he did step out into the sun, the intensity increased until it spread throughout his body. He'd never felt such a curious warmth. It was like he was wrapped in a particularly uncomfortable sweater. 

Ron shook out his fold-up chair and draped it with a beach towel, before collapsing into the seat with a sigh. While Oscar had only brought a towel with him, which he carefully spread out on the sand. He could still feel that warmth. Even stripped down to his swimming trunks, it left him feeling sticky.

"Dad, I feel weird..."

"It's all that sugar you had before we left."

"No, it's something else... I don't like it here, can we go?"

"What? We just got here! At least give it a chance!" Ron looked up and pointed to the ocean. "Hey, there's another kid here. Why don't you go play with him?"

"Him?" Oscar asked, squinting at the figure. "He has to be, like, five years older than me. He won't want anything to do with me."

"You won't know until you go and ask, champ. Now go! Have fun!"

Ron gave him a little shove, and shooed him away. Oscar stomp-kicked his way through the sand with a scowl. His dad never listened to him. He was too busy with his weird conspiracy podcasts and get rich quick schemes that never seemed to work. Not that it stopped him from being drawn to every MLM or snake oil salesman imaginable. But he couldn't let that bother him now. Knowing his dad, he'd probably get bored after ten minutes and they'll stroll back to the hotel.

My Desired Costume

Jack groaned as he rolled his head upright, heavy with a case of grogginess. He hadn't felt this bad after a night out in months. He wasn't even partying wild like his college days, it was only a few drinks with friends. He hadn't reached that age already, had he? But he couldn't remember any specifics. The whole night was a blur. Except for one moment. He left to use the restroom, when he bumped into someone he recognised. Someone that made him feel uneasy. Someone unwanted... But for the life of him, he couldn't remember anything. He gulped, he'd heard stories of people being drugged and assaulted. Was he another victim? Had this mystery person done something to him? Did they spike him? His heart sank at the thought. 

Yet as he tried to tried up to his face to rub the sleep from his eyes, he realised something most unsavory. He couldn't move his arms at all. The shock cleared his mind, allowing him to recognise the danger he was in. He was stood upright, his arms tired behind his back, his feet bound together and locked to the ground. He struggled to break free or even move from his spot, but it was no use. He was stuck. With a sigh, he looked around his environment uneasily. He wasn't just anywhere, he was in his own bedroom.

But who would drug and kidnap someone, only to leave them in their own home? There was only one way to find answers. Jack gulped and cleared his throat. "Hello?" He cried out, just loud enough for a would-be murderer to hear him. "Is anyone there? What's going on!?" There was a sudden bump in the room next door, followed by heavy footsteps that padded straight toward the bedroom door.

The Beach Is Magic

The secluded cove of Tānetanga Beach was looking a bit more lively nowadays. The once under-the-radar spot had gained a new wave of admirers recently, thanks to the wonders of social media. Its unspoiled sands, and mysterious workings were drawing in people from all over, and singing its praises. Which is why Jordan just had to drag his best bud Lamar away from their tour group while they were in the area.

"Even if they notice we're missing, they're not going to wait for us, you know," Lamar moaned as they pushed through the overgrown foliage that lined the wanderer's path to the cove. "They're gonna leave us stranded at this dumb beach with no way back to the hotel. My mom's gonna kill me if we're not on that bus..."

"We have a whole hour before we have to worry about that, "Jordan reasoned, trying to sound reassuring. "Trust me, It's going to be worth the detour."

"Right, because TikTok says the beach is magic," Lamar grumbled. "How do you know they're not fakes? Do you ever see anyone changing?"

"Well, no... But why would they make it up? And practically every single account that talks about it gets deleted! You should really check out r/Tānetanga, you'll-"

"Nuh-uh! I ain't checking out no Reddit about some conspiracy theory!" Lamar complained, trying to stand his ground, but Jordan didn't wait. With a roll of his eyes, he bounded after his friend as the beach came into full view. There are several men spread out around the cove, taking in the sun, wading in the waves. "Woah, those guys are naked," Lamar noticed, turning to avert his eyes from the sight. "This is some nudie beach! No wonder those TikToks are being deleted. We should definitely not be here..."

"Relax, it's all part of the magic! You'll see." Jordan dumped his bag on the sand, and stripped down to a pair of speedos that could have been mistaken for tighty whities. "You said you wanted adventure. It's better than some stuffy architecture tour, right?"

Lamar stared dumbfounded at his friend, not even dignifying that with a response. Jordan merely shrugged and bounded towards the ocean, leaving him alone. He looked around, noticing a few men looking in his direction, expectantly. He felt a shiver up his spine. Realising how much he didn't want to be left alone, he threw his shirt aside and begrudgingly followed his friend up to the ocean. His feet tingled underneath the warm sand in a not entirely pleasant way. That tingling only increased as they waded into the ice-cold, blue waters. He gave Jordan a pat on the shoulder, then asked, "Okay. So what happens now?"

Rough Day

Matt had been having a rough day. He forgot his homework was due, getting him detention for the week. Then he lost his lunch money to a faulty vending machine. And to top it off, he tripped on his own shoelaces during gym, face-planting in a pile of mud. He had never felt so humiliated, he was already preparing to have a fake sick day to avoid going back the next day. 

So when he returned home after detention to discover his dad was already home, he was a little suspicious. His dad never left work early. He was in the kitchen, waiting beside two empty mugs. "You okay, little man?" he asked just as the kettle reached a boil.

"I guess," Matt mumbled as he dumped his backpack and jacket on the floor. "I just had a bad day at school..." 

His dad sighed, and grumbled. "I know the feeling..." He turned around and picked up a mug billowing with hot steam, and passed it to his son. "Maybe a good cup of tea will make you feel better."

Matt grabbed the mug and gave it a sniff. It smelt sweet and fruity, with a little hint of something smoky. He wasn't much of a tea drinker, or any hot beverage really. But after the day he had had, it was nice to have a little treatment.

Neighborhood Creator

A few months ago, my dad found some old PC game from the 90s while we were at a flea market. Something called Neighborhood Creator. I didn't think you could run things that old on new computers, but he managed to get it set up without any trouble. It was a life simulation game, which I think is a boring game genre, so I never wanted to play it myself. Yet, Dad was hooked on the thing. In a matter of days, he'd created a whole town, and treated it like a real place. If the graphics weren't so dated, I swear it could've been our actual town. It was a little creepy. 

Weeks passed, and he spent all his free time watching over his virtual town like a god. He already had a job playing and reviewing video games, so it seemed like overkill. My mom and I would try and get him to leave the house, but he wouldn't listen. He became a shut-in. Eventually, my mom left him for another woman, and he barely seemed to notice, acting like it was his own decision. Then I was offered a place at a prestigious private school, and I knew I had to take it. I didn't want to leave my dad alone, his obsession with the game was unhealthy, but I also didn't want to be around him any longer.

Test Subject

 What luck! Just as I was wondering how to discreetly test my latest, ingenius invention, the perfect test subject happened to board the bus. He was your typical, defiant teenager who had decided that long, greasy hair, spiked accessories, and a liberal usage of eyeliner really stuck it to the man. He trudged to the back of the bus, dumping his bag covered with band buttons in the seat next to him. He was completely oblivious to the world around him, oblivious to me and my wonderful invention.

I swung open the device in my lap and aimed the transmitter at the goth, smiling as a list of attributes ran down the screen. Phase one worked perfectly. Now to put it into action... I decided to start with something subtle. Those unsightly ear gauges would do perfectly. I tapped in my desires and held my breath, trying not to stare as I waited... Then it happened! I stifled a squeal of glee as the large, plastic hoops melted and dripped out of his enlarged ear lobes. The liquid glided effortlessly around his ears and joined above his forehead, forming a standard pair of sunglasses. Meanwhile, his droopy ear lobes rolled back up, tightening and molding until there was no sign he'd ever pierced his ears, let alone stretched them out.

I couldn't believe it, my invention worked! I mean of course it worked, I am a genius after all. But to show such promise in its initial test run? I couldn't hope for any better! That goth brat was entirely unaware as well, even when he reached up to touch the sunglasses, only to adjust their position. He didn't notice a thing!

Halloween Costumes

Victor sat sulking in his room. Downstairs, he could hear the muffled buzz of activity as his brother prepared the house for the evening's festivities. Their parents were gone for the weekend and Lewis was going all out for Halloween and throwing a huge party, inviting practically everyone in town. Everyone but Victor. He asked to join, begged even, but Lewis was adamant that he wasn't allowed to join in the fun.

While Victor scrolled through YouTube to find a suitable unboxing video to take his mind off of the party, there was a knock at his bedroom door. Lewis entered almost immediately after, holding a flat cardboard box with a bold symbol on top for a store called Costume Plaza. "Hey, it's almost time for the party. You'd better suit up."

Victor sat up rigid. "You said I wasn't allowed to come!"

"Yeah, well I thought about what you said last night and decided that I'd take you up on your offer." He dumped the box on Victor's bed and turned to leave. "You'd better hurry, Bobby's already on his way."

Victor scrambled for the box and tore open the packaging. He cocked his head, confused. It was a black T-shirt, scruffy jeans, and a pair of sunglasses. After pulling everything out to ensure that was the costume, he found a small slip of paper. "Bouncer..." he read aloud. He recalled saying that he could man the door to the party, an obvious joke given how he was at least half the age and the size of all of the party attendees. Surely Lewis wasn't serious... Victor chuckled and mumbled aloud, "I don't know why he bothered. I have all this stuff in my wardrobe."

Still, Victor felt a weird urge to put the costume on. he felt a little embarrassed as he slipped the clothes on and they swamped him. Was this some sort of joke? Well at least the sunglasses would cover his shame, he thought as he slipped them onto his face.

The moment the lenses touched his face, he felt a jolt down his spine and found himself frozen in place. He winced in pain as his body inflated to match the costume size. He almost doubled his height while his body rapidly packed on the pounds, swelling up with thick muscle. His face itched as it squared off and prickly hairs crept across his cheeks. Finally, he felt a cool breeze as all the hair shed from his head. The moment he could move, Victor spun around and threw open his wardrobe, gasping as he looked in the mirror. He stared dumbstruck at the buff, bearded man reflected back. He felt his smooth scalp and his furry face. Then his massive muscles. 

The Romans, and the Greeks

It wasn’t that the trip to the art museum was entirely boring. There was some really cool stuff in here, Roman and Max agreed. They were super into the room that had the sculptures that looked like balloon animals. The issue was that seeing all the interesting stuff took roughly fifteen minutes, which left them five hours to kill.

“Five…hours…” Roman grumbled dramatically, dragging his feet behind him like he was on invisible crutches. “I’m not gonna make it, man. Tell…tell Livi…I always thought she was hot as hell.”

“Man, I would, but I’m definitely gonna die of boredom too,” Max replied. “At least there’s food right?”

“I guess. Mmm yum, museum food,” Roman snorted. He pushed the mushroom fringe of his bangs out to the side even though he was fully aware it would flop right back over his eyes, which it did. “When do we have to meet the group? Like 40, 45 minutes from now?”

“Yeah, for the tour.”

“I can’t believe they’re letting us run wild here. Someone’s gonna break something.”

Max looked witheringly at Roman, who was grinning from ear to ear. “You mean YOU’RE going to try to break something.”

“I never try, it’s not my fault that I’m clumsy.” It was a running joke at school that Roman’s hands and feet didn’t match the rest of his body, at least not yet. He and Max were the same average height, yet Roman’s feet were four sizes bigger, and he tripped over them constantly.

Roman and Max were best buddies. Equals. Instead of a leader/follower dynamic, they were competitors; willful young men who didn’t take anything seriously except for their own opinions. They’d been friends since middle school, after a knockdown, dragout fight over a loose basketball, quite counterproductive since they were on the same team. But they both thought it was hilarious, and after that, they were almost always together, picking the same classes and ensuring they had the same lunchtime.

Their first jaunt was through a textiles exhibition, which they thought might be cool because it could be about texting, like some kind of digital art. It turned out textiles were fabrics, which was intensely uninteresting. “It’s…rugs,” Roman deadpanned, looking around the room. “Rugs and blankets. Dope.”

“Dude, you know who’d like this stuff? My mom,” Max said, which was the most damning assessment possible, and made them both laugh until a massive security guard glared at them. That was their cue to go, and as they headed out of the exhibition, Max’s phone vibrated. “Miller says he’s hiding out in some movie room. I think I’ll pass.”

“Nah, if I watch something I will definitely fall asleep, and then you’d both leave me there and I’d wake up seven hours later, and the museum would be closed, and I’d never be able to leave and that would be my life.”

“That makes complete sense, you’re exactly right,” Max said. “Hey look, Greek stuff.”

“I prefer Roman stuff.”

“God, shut UP,” Max groaned, giving Roman a shove that roused a “Hey!” from another huge guard nearby.

“Ah man, we gotta go in here,” Roman said, pointing to an exhibit entrance framed by multicolor stripes painted elegantly on the walls. “Rainbow Rebellion: Queer Coding Throughout the Ages,” he read out loud before turning serious. “I think this will be really good for you, to see the art of your people.”

“You’re the one everyone says is gay,” Max shot back.

“Literally no one says that, perv.” Roman was walking in. Max held back and then rolled his eyes and caught up, looking over his shoulder to make sure no classmates were around. The exhibition wasn’t big, only two rooms, and it was a departure from the others in that it had all styles of art. There was a painting from the 1800s of two young men on a beach, sitting side by side; nearby was a photograph of two muscle guys in leather and chains. Both Roman and Max ignored it, too embarrassed to commentate.

“This is, uh, really gay, man,” Max whispered with an evil smile on his face. “I just want you to know, if you have something to tell me, I’m your friend…”

Roman knew where he was going and cut him off. “Only one of us got a boner in the locker room after swimming, and it wasn’t me,” he sang, flouncing off in an exaggerated caricature of a walk before Max could punch him in the arm. 

They ended up by a large Grecian urn that didn’t seem gay at all. It depicted a side profile from the shoulders up of a bearded man embracing a feminine counterpart. That is, until Max and Roman looked at the other side of the urn and saw the same two figures in full, now plainly obvious that they were two extremely muscular men. It looked almost like they were wrestling at first glance. One man was sitting on top of the other, and that’s when they realized…they were fucking. The man on the ground had his dick in the man on top’s ass. Each man flexed a bulging arm, which formed the handles of the jar.

“Aw, GROSS,” Max tittered, as both boys cramped with laughter. “That’s…is that how they do it? Damn, dude. What the…groooossss.”

Roman’s entire face was curled up in laughter. “I can’t believe they’re just leaving this out here for people to see. This is education! Where’s one with girls touching each other, I’ll be all about that.”

“Dare you to touch it,” Max said evilly, pointing to one of the handles. “No guards around. Touch that guy’s big freaky gross bodybuilder arm.”

“No way! I’m not getting near that homo urn. These things have invisible guards and shit! What if the alarm goes off?”

“Then we bolt. Besides, if they didn’t want you to touch it, they’d have it under glass,” Max reasoned. Roman frowned. Max had a point. It was lousy but valid. He hesitated for a moment, then stretched out his index finger like ET, and gently poked the urn in the least homoerotic area he could muster. Max scoffed at his feeble attempt. “That doesn’t count!”

“Of course it does, I touched it.”

“Yeah, barely.”

“Well it’s more than you did!”

“You have to hold it. Caress that freaky bicep like the repressed homosexual you are.”

“Well maybe YOU should do it. I dare you!”

They looked at each other. “Fine. We’ll do it at the same time,” Max said, eyes darting around.

“Fine,” Roman grunted. They stood on opposite sides of the urn, raised their palms, and nodded at each other. Then, their hands darted forward and each of them grasped one of the handles. They locked eyes for a brief moment, daring the other to let go first. Eventually, the approaching squeak of rubber soles on marble flooring forced them to abandon the urn. Max and Roman scurried away laughing like the schoolboys they were.

More Captions!

Here are a few more captions for you guys to whet your appetites while I work on something a bit more substantial. Enjoy them!

(Age Swap, Young Adult < > Middle Age)

This app I downloaded is incredible! I was bored, as usual, and was looking for things to do when I came across it, the Life Changer. It looked like a Sims knock-off but I had nothing better to do. It asked a few questions, I took a selfie, and soon enough, there was this cartoonish avatar of myself on the screen. But there were options to change my avatar in so many ways, it was disorienting. I decided to try one thing, the life swap button. When I pressed it, it came up with options for everyone in a mile radius to me. My family, my neighbours, my friends. I didn't know so many people downloaded this app, but I didn't want any of them to be my avatar. 

I finally came across an unfamiliar face who wasn't butt-ugly. Jackson Reed, a buff looking man who lived outside of town, a personal fitness coach, and was currently in the park. He sounded perfect. I tapped the accept button and expected my avatar to change into that person. But what actually happened was surprising and so much better. I suddenly shot up in the air, gaining inches in seconds. My flabby body slimmed down in an instant, followed by a rapid bulking up of every muscle in my body. New hairs swirled across my chest and down my rock hard abs. In the mirror, I saw my face get more angular and my patchy stubble increased in density until I had a proper beard. Then wrinkles and grey hairs appeared.

As things came to an end, I leant against the doorway panting. I was huge! And so hairy... I had to take a picture to prove to myself it was real! I snatched the cap off my head, gasping at the sight of my bald head, then covered my crotch with it. There! I took the pics and chucked the hat to the side. My cock was so big and veiny now. I brushed a hand over my buff, hairy body with a smile. I stroked my scalp, shuddering at the feeling of my bald head. That would take some getting used to. Because there was no way I was swapping back! In fact, I quickly uninstalled the app before I could swap back. I feel a little bad for Jackson though, ending up with my previously unimpressive body. He's probably confused as heck, swimming in his baggy clothes as he tries to convince people he was a big muscleman only minutes earlier... Whelp, I can't help him now! He'll come to appreciate being a college drop-out eventually. Possibly. Meanwhile, I'm going to give my new mature body a night on the town!

Captions

I've been having a bit of writer's block recently, so I thought instead of doing longer stories, I'd make some shorter captioned stories instead. I used a randomiser to pick out some pictures I have saved to see what I could come up with.

(Age Progression, Teen > Middle Age)

So let me go over the plan one last time. You want me to act as your dad so I can convince the school to let you join the drama club trip to New York despite the fact you're not a member? I dunno man, it's pretty convoluted. Wouldn't it be easier to join the club? We could always use another stagehand. It's just... This is different from playing a role, the costume has literally made me a father figure. Besides, what if they know what your dad looks like? We barely resembled each other before I grew up, and I definitely don't look like him now. No offence but I have more hair than him, I'm in much better shape, and I'm far more handsome too... Damn, I grew up to be awesome... Yeah yeah, I know! It's only "temporary", but can't I take a few minutes to check out the goods before I have to... Sigh, fine! But after I've nailed my greatest role by convincing the school board it would be discriminatory to not let you go on the trip, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity. We did split the costume fee after all, and I'm going to get my money's worth. I wonder if I can get into a bar without ID...

Vignettes: Black Friday

For the first time ever, the Magic Curiosities Emporium is having its very own Black Friday sale, and it's all thanks to me. It's been a few years since Master Mitawi offered me the opportunity to work under him as his apprentice. Well, more like forced me after aging me thirty-something years and refusing to turn me back into a teenager, but that's water under the bridge! I've grown to enjoy my line of work, and I've improved in my own magical skills. In fact, it was me who suggested we join the other shops in Black Friday. Mitawi was unconvinced, until I explained how we could deliver magic while reducing waste. We have so much junk in storage, stuff we couldn't even give away because it doesn't work right, or needs to be disposed of properly, or could be "dangerous" if you sold it and how could you even suggest giving a child one of... Ahem... So, we're having a little clearance sale while it's the right time for it.

The bulk of our clearance comes from expired potions. Yup, even potions have use-by dates and when they're no longer viable for consumption, we have a very delicate and complicated process of neutralising the effects before dumping them. Because the potions are still magic, and will still do what's intended. It's just that they come bundled with unwanted side effects. Or maybe it's a welcome side effect, It depends on who you ask. We do also have the occasional non-potion item on sale as well. Products we can't sell due to them being packaged wrong, or they don't work quite as intended. Normally they'd be locked away until their magical properties wear off. Now we're selling them at highly discounted prices! We've made quite a few sales today, which made my master happy, and of course, the ensuing chaos we created was a fun bonus.

A Furry Situation

I awoke first with a stir, followed by a jolt. I sat up and rubbed my head with a groan. It felt like i'd been whacked over the head with a shovel. Where was I anyway? I looked around to find that I was laying naked on top of my bed covers, my room was in its usual state of disarray as if a tornado had passed through. Something wasn't right though, what was I doing in my bedroom? I'd never dream of staying inside my cabin on my wild nights out. I'm usually out in the forest, deep in the wilderness. I imagine whatever made me come inside must be the cause of this splitting headache. It was difficult to recall what had happened last night. Let's see...

Ignored

New You Resolution 2

Date Night

New You Resolutions