Where The Bears Are

PART ONE 

A fortnight had passed since Jamie had that peculiar lunch break with his childhood friend Hunter. The guy thought his new landlord was kicking people out of their apartments so that his friends could move in. Jamie thought it sounded preposterous at the time, and definitely illegal. But since they parted ways, there had been radio silence. No texts, no tweets, no snaps, no instas, no threads, no nothing. Now Jamie was starting to get concerned. It wasn't like his friend to go AWOL without a heads-up. But what was really weird was it was as if Hunter had never existed at all.

Every single social media account was wiped, the handles claimed by bots or strangers who'd held the handle for years, which didn't make sense. All of their text conversations had gone missing too. Then any photographic evidence of Hunter vanished overnight. Even trying to contact his parents went wrong, claiming he had the wrong number. He felt like he was going mad. How could he have imagined his best friend his entire life? They were literally drinking coffee mere days ago. Whatever had happened, Jamie knew it had to be down to that apartment complex. He'd done his research into the place, but aside from the unusual amount of horny, gay bears living there, there was nothing peculiar at all. 

But today was finally the day, Jamie's day off. It had been two weeks since his last proper day off, which was also the last time he'd spoken to Hunter. Now he was stood outside of Ursa Complex, trying to bring up the courage to enter. It could all have been a big misunderstanding. Maybe his friend wanted a digital detox, maybe his phone was faulty, maybe he called the wrong number. But the only way to get down to the truth was to step inside. He took a deep breath, and walked up to the automatic doors.

This was the first time that Jamie had entered the building since the new landlord had taken over, and he was surprised at just how much had changed. The air stank of tobacco and sweat, the haze of cigar smoke filled the lobby, which had taken on the warm hues of a log cabin lined with rustic brick. In the center of the lobby was a stone fountain topped with an elaborate statue of a grizzly bear. A real one, not the gay kind. It towered over him, almost as if it were warning of danger.

Around the fountain sat a number of leather sofas. Jamie almost disregarded them until he walked around the statue. There, on one of the couches, sat a hefty, bearded man smoking a cigar. He was wearing a leather vest and chaps, an accompanying cap rested on his bald head. His vest was left open, allowing his furry gut to spill into his lap. Curled up next to him was a much younger, chubby, not as hairy man. He was wearing a latex puppy mask, and was nuzzling his head into the older man's free hand.

Jamie locked eyes with the man, who squinted at him before huffing a stream of smoke from his mouth and nostrils. "You're not from round these parts," he growled in a rumbling bass.

"Noooo," Jamie squeaked, failing to not sound intimidated by the leather-bound man. "I-I came to check in on a friend I haven't seen in a while."

"That's how they getcha," the daddy bear replied with a knowing nod of the head. The pup beside him glanced up, and lightly growled from losing his master's attention. He jumped off the sofa and bounded towards Jamie, before being cut short by the leash attached to the collar around his neck. "Woah there boy, you know that's no way to greet a stranger. I should whip you for that. You want that, boy?" The young man whined, but from the way he gazed toward his master, it was obvious that was exactly what he wanted.

Jamie watched with unease as the bear stood up, towering half a foot taller than himself, and dragged his pup by the leash towards a vacant corridor. His pup followed on all fours after him, his ass with appropriate tail-shaped butt plug wagging in the air. As they rounded the corner, Jamie gasped for a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Hunter was right about about the tenants in this place, they were a bit too open about their fetishes. In a way, he was a little jealous. He could never be so open about his sexuality as those men. Either way, he didn't really want to bump into them again. He rushed over to the elevators.

Confident that he wouldn't cross paths with another BDSM role-playing couple, Jamie speed-walked down to Hunter's apartment and rapped on the front door. His signature three taps and a thud. A full minute passed before he finally heard someone unlocking the door, then it swung open with force. Jamie's heart skipped, this visit was about to get even weirder...

Control-Alt-Fix

PART TWO

 

Half an hour. I left him alone for half an hour. How could he cause so much trouble in only half an hour? I had my suspicions while I was waiting to collect the pizza, and there was chatter on the local forum about a strange prank. A guy dressed as a statue was scaring people in the statue garden, despite there being no such thing. But I passed it off as being a neighboring town. Then I thought something was wrong when I was held up in traffic due to animal control trying to subdue a bear that was digging through the trash, despite living nowhere near bear territory. But maybe it had escaped the zoo, what did I know? It wasn't until I came home to find my younger, unambitious roommate playing a game on my computer that my suspicions were actualized. Because I live alone. That young man used to be my girlfriend's son until he got his grubby hands all over my Neighborhood Creator...

I guess I can't completely blame Matty. I shouldn't have left him alone. I shouldn't have asked him to get the N64 from my study. I definitely should not have left that damned game running... How was he to know it was a reality altering device? That's not a normal thing to have access to. He was just having fun coming up with zany ideas. He's a creative kid. Was... Turning himself into my 26 year old co-worker and roommate was definitely a deliberate decision taken after learning the true potential of the game. It's just lucky that I arrived when I did. Who knows what else he could have done. Thank God I stepped in before his final adjustment to make us lovers could fully set in. That would have complicated matters. Dating both him and Kathy at the same time? Woof...

Neighborhood Creator causes nothing but trouble. Matty's a lot like Billy in a way. Creating chaos all in an attempt to forge a perfect life. Then one little misclick, and wham! You're stuck as a puppy, and your son's turned into a large, hairy man in his late thirties as a safeguard! Well, stuck isn't the correct word. I can quite easily turn him back into a man. I could turn myself back into a kid. I've mulled the decision over many a night, and I always come to the same conclusion - It's safer this way. If Billy were to ever regain his control over this game, there would be Hell to pay. Especially if he knows that I left him stuck in a permanently puppified state...

And to be honest, I've come to begrudgingly accept my manhood. I have an easy job, lots of money, and I'm pretty handsome if I do say so myself. I barely even remember being a kid. It literally feels like decades ago, thanks to the game's powerful reality altering effects. If I let my mind wander, I can forget my old life altogether and live in the moment. And that's how I feel whenever I'm with Kathy.

Infectious

PART ONE 

It started that Friday morning. Rohan wasn't at the bus stop, and when the bus went past his house, there were emergency vehicles parked up outside. I was worried, he hadn't been feeling well since Roger dared him to lick those test tubes during the museum field trip. I tried telling him there was no knowing what they were used for, but he said he couldn't back down from a dare. Now he was missing school because of it.

I knew something big was up when Rohan wouldn't answer his phone. Even if he didn't respond right away, I'd at least see the blue tick next to the message to prove he'd read it. The entire school day went by and not a single read message or notification from him. I even tried face-timing him and nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. The dial tone ended early, as if he'd declined my call.

So on the way home, I decided to get off the bus early and walk over to his house. All the hubbub from the morning was gone, which was a relief. I ran up to the front door and Rohan's mom answered. Except, she seemed distracted. When I asked to see Rohan, she dismissed me, saying that he'd caught something, and she didn't want it to spread.

But I couldn't take no for an answer, he was my best friend! So I crept around the back of the house, and clamored up the big tree in the yard. This wasn't my first time sneaking in, after all. Lucky for me, he'd even kept his bedroom window open so I didn't have to do my secret knock.

I stumbled through the window in a less than polite fashion and brushed myself off. "Rohan?" I asked aloud. I heard the door to his wardrobe shut and hangers clang together. Amused, I laughed, "Why are you hiding?"

"Go away!" He seethed. He sounded weird, like he had a cold. His voice deeper than usual. "You can't be in here!"

"No way!" I replied. "I gotta know what's wrong. I saw all the vans outside your house this morning, your mom wouldn't let me in, you won't even answer my texts. You promised we'd never keep things from each other."

"I want to tell you, really. But..." He sighed. "This is bigger than you know... I can't bring you into this."

"Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just find out why my best friend is hiding like a baby some other time." I grumbled and stomped toward the window when I had an idea. I waited a few moments before slamming the window down hard. Then I ducked down and hid as best as I could behind the bed and held my breath. Poor, gullible guy. He didn't even wait a minute until he opened his closet door and slunk out with a sigh. We locked eyes almost instantly, and he knew he was busted. But I was the one who screamed out loud, because that man wasn't my friend.

Plausible Deniability

PART ONE 

There had been a commotion at the Big Dipper. Nobody knew for sure what had happened. The queue and surrounding area had been evacuated suddenly, and roped off for over two hours now. Rumors were swirling, as they do when the public are left in the dark. Sensible, level-headed folk talked of water pump issues and bodily wastes in the pool. The more outlandish, and louder, folk claimed a young boy had gone down the slide and met an untimely end. He'd been launched off the water coaster by the powerful jets, and crashed into the nearby tanning spot. Or a crocodile had gotten loose and chomped him up as he came off the slide. Or even some dangerous chemical spilled into the water and liquified him to a fine paste. Why else would there be people in bio-hazard suits prowling the site? Whatever had happened, it was not a good day for Splashdown Adventure Park.

But as with all tragedies, the hype eventually died down as guests moved on with their vacation. Only half a dozen people still watched the action from the ice cream shop balcony, the only vantage point not closed off. "They're still testing the water," a guy said aloud as one of the suited men took another sample from the pool. "I wonder what they're trying to learn."

"Apparently, some experimental fertilizer got dumped into the pool, and the boy that went down the slide was exposed to it. Turned him into this huge, hairy adult with bulging muscles. Kinda like me. That's what I heard, anyway."

The guy cocked his head as he stared at the bald, brawny man a good decade older than him, before breaking out into a harsh cackle. "That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard this morning!" He brayed as he whacked the dismayed man on the back. "Oh thanks, pal. I needed a laugh like that. Literal magical bullshit turning a kid into a man, ha HAH!"

Miles frowned as the guy turned away, still chuckling to himself. "It's not stupid..." He mumbled under his breath. "Now being melted by chemicals, that's stupid..."

Splashdown!

It felt like it would never come, but today was finally the day... Splashdown Adventure Park day! Chase and Miles had been hyping up the visit to the water park for weeks. It had become like an annual pilgrimage for the best friends, with Miles' parents even splashing out for a private cabana to relax as the boys were set free on the water slides. The two of them could practically track their growth spurts as they evolved from toddler splash pools to family raft rides to solo body slides. And now they had their eyes on the real big kid slides they'd previously been too short to ride, with the thrills and spills that came with them.

As soon as they arrived and dumped their belongings in the cabana, they ran straight for the newest, coolest ride of all - The Big Dipper. It was the fastest, tallest, longest, and coincidentally, the only water-coaster slide in the state. It was still under construction when they visited last year, so it was kind of a big deal. It also had the tallest height restriction in the park. The air was tense as Miles stepped up first. The park employee measured him against the height chart, but it wasn't even needed. He passed the 48 inch requirement and then some. No surprises there.

Next up was Chase, his heart beating hard. His head just about grazed the bottom of the bar. He almost jumped for joy, until the employee looked down. "No footwear allowed," he said a little too cheerfully. Chase gulped as he removed his sandals, along with a half-inch of his height, and any hope of riding the Big Dipper that year.

"I don't have to go on without you," Miles said, obvious disappointment in his voice. "I bet it's dumb anyway. You're supposed to go down slides, not up them."

"No, no," Chase sighed. "It wouldn't be fair of me to stop you, it's all you talked about in the car up here... Go ride it, and I'll meet you back at the wave pool."

So Chase left his best friend to join the twenty minute queue alone, deciding instead to pull up a rubber tube and unwind on the lazy river for a couple of loops before it got too busy. Then he hopped in line for the Orca Run speed chutes, at least he was tall enough to do those, before walking back past the Big Dipper. The line had shortened considerably. In fact, it was practically non-existent. It must have been the early lunch lull. He was tempted to try his luck again, but that same employee was posted outside the entrance. He sighed, and walked back to the cabana where Miles' parents were waiting for the duo to return.

Except they weren't there... It was a good thing Chase turned up. All of their belongings were left unattended. Even one of their phones was abandoned on a lounge chair. It was like they'd left in a hurry. They didn't have to worry about beating the lunch rush since they could order directly to the cabana. So where did they go? Something weird was going on... 

Cock-Up

The first mistake Richard made was drinking with his roommate, Johnny. He had moved in with the guy about 5 months ago, and they hadn't really bonded with each other until this moment. Richard was a very solitary man who kept to himself, while Johnny was an outgoing party animal who was out most nights. But he had wanted to get closer to him, if just to stave off the awkwardness whenever they were in the same room together. So when Johnny's plans fell through one night, he pushed himself to suggest binging a reality dating show together.

It started off casual. They chatted about their work, Richard worked in a deliveries warehouse, while Johnny worked in entertainment, shadowing an illustionist. He called himself a sorcerer's apprentice, but that was just the schmaltzy way of saying he did magic tricks. He even performed an impromptu show, making the dining room chairs and table hover and spin, which impressed Richard entirely. Although, he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He was already highly inebriated after his first beer. 

That was his second mistake. As his roommate moved on from the magic show, his focus drawn by a cheating scandal on TV, the conversation moved to sexual exploits. Johnny was quite boastful about his many soirées. Whereas, Richard was less than experienced. In fact, he couldn't stop himself from blurting out that he was still a virgin. The energy in the room changed as Johnny zoned in on his confession, asking how? Why? Why not? But Richard stayed evasive. Thankfully, all was forgotten as the fake tension of break-ups happened on the TV, but not entirely...

Over the next few days, Richard did his best to avoid Johnny, who seemed overly interested in him. Yeah, he was a virgin, but he didn't want to throw it away with just anyone. It's not like Johnny wasn't a hunk. He was a poster boy for good looks. But he was loud, abrasive, and far too into himself. Not to mention the laundry list of previous endeavours. No, he wanted his first time to be meaningful to both parties.

Finally, things came to a head one morning while Richard was mulling over Halloween costume ideas. Did he want to go as Joe Locke in Heartstoppers or Joe Locke in Agatha? As he shifted between his web browser tabs, Johnny stepped into his room with a confident rap on the door. "Dicky boy!" He declared with gusto. "I was thinking about your little V-card ish, and I have a proposition for ya."

It was the moment Richard had been dreading. He just had to rip off the band-aid. He cleared his throat and stumbled over his words as he tried to put him down gently. "Uhm, I'm flattered, but you're not exactly my type..."

Johnny broke into a broad grin. "Back atcha. I like a man with meat on his bones, and you're barely 120 pounds soaking wet." The lug broke into a boisterous laugh that Richard didn't join. He may not have wanted the attention, but could it have killed the guy to be less honest? Johnny wiped away a tear before continuing, "No, no. It sounds to me that you're not confident in your sexual prowess. So I figured we could practice a little."

"Meaning?"

"Well, if you had a better idea of how to do the do, then when it comes around, you'll know what to do."

It sounded ridiculous to Richard at first, although when he thought on it, it sort of made sense. He had the know-how, but it was all from watching porn. Without applying it practically, he might always psych up his first time into an impossibility. And he definitely didn't want that. So with a quiet sigh, he agreed to the peculiar idea. That was his final mistake.

Morning Pranks

It was the morning following a very successful sleepover for Jackson and Bart. They'd stayed up watching scary movies with lots of snacks, and very little adult supervision. For the most part, his embarrassing dad had kept to himself for the evening. And now, the following morning, the two boys were battling each other in the newest Boulevard Brawler game. Things were going well until Bart finally piped up.

"Your dad's acting weird today."

His dad was always weird, Jackson thought to himself. But it was true, he'd been even weirder this morning. It all started when Bart woke him up from a blissful sleep, having crept out of the room to use the bathroom, only to find it occupied. Inside, his dad was in his undies, staring at himself in the mirror and flexing at himself. He even grabbed his phone so he could take some selfies, until he finally noticed the two boys giggling uncontrollably in the doorway. 

That wasn't too weird, his dad was pretty egotistical about his huge size, and masculine appearance. He worked out most days, when he wasn't on the construction site putting those muscles to good use. He even had beard paraphernalia around the house because he was obsessed with his bushy facial fur. But Jackson had never actually seen him acting so narcissistic. Maybe this is what he was like behind closed doors. And that was just the start of it.

The First Night

PART ONE

This was it, the night of the full moon. Tonight's the night... I tried to distract myself with a cheesy movie, but I couldn't help but check the clock every 5 minutes, or glance at the closed curtains, fighting the urge to throw them open. When was it supposed to happen? Was it going to hurt? What if nothing happened, would I be okay with that? I groaned, and shoved my face into a pillow. Why can't things be easy!?

It was only a month ago when my roommate, and now closest confidante, inadvertently revealed his deepest secret to me, a month since I unwittingly put myself at risk, and a month since I was infected... That night was such a blur now. I remember Harry changing, obviously. How could I forget the moment he transformed before my very eyes, his body twisting, contorting, and growing into a full-blown weredad. I didn't even know they existed until that moment. But after that, I only had vague memories of our bodies intertwining in the moonlight, as he pounded my ass in the cold night... Then, I remember waking up the following morning, both of us still in that forest. Harry was young again, and it was clear that we both regretted our actions.

That first night after, I was questioning everything. I didn't feel any different. I didn't look any different. Harry called them residual days, where the moon still looked full, but was waning in its power. He himself still changed, but he didn't get as old as that first night. He was still daddy material, with a beefy dadbod, and salt & pepper streaks through his hair, but noticeably younger than before. Meanwhile, I was still myself. Maybe I was a little hairier, and thicker. But if I was, I couldn't tell. I began to think I was immune, which was a little disappointing. But Harry said it was all part of the process. Nevertheless, we spent those nights in the bedroom. He broke out his leather, genuinely pleased to have a use for them again, and I offered my body up to him once again. Maybe in the hopes another few rounds would increase my likelihood of gaining that weredad status.

All was forgotten as the moon continued its cycle from full to new and back again. That is until the past week. I noticed something peculiar. I was finding myself drawn to the smell of leather and fine tobacco. The taste of a rare steak, and a good brandy. I felt a desire to wear a suit and tie that I'd never consider outside of a wedding. And even stranger, I was beginning to think of men around my age as being boys, and far younger than myself. I wanted to guide them, and teach them in the ways of the flesh, as they submitted their bodies to me... Even now, I get the chills thinking about it. Surely it meant something. That I was preparing for the change. But I was too scared to ask Harry about it, in case it wasn't...

The Beach Is Magic

The secluded cove of Tānetanga Beach was looking a bit more lively nowadays. The once under-the-radar spot had gained a new wave of admirers recently, thanks to the wonders of social media. Its unspoiled sands, and mysterious workings were drawing in people from all over, and singing its praises. Which is why Jordan just had to drag his best bud Lamar away from their tour group while they were in the area.

"Even if they notice we're missing, they're not going to wait for us, you know," Lamar moaned as they pushed through the overgrown foliage that lined the wanderer's path to the cove. "They're gonna leave us stranded at this dumb beach with no way back to the hotel. My mom's gonna kill me if we're not on that bus..."

"We have a whole hour before we have to worry about that, "Jordan reasoned, trying to sound reassuring. "Trust me, It's going to be worth the detour."

"Right, because TikTok says the beach is magic," Lamar grumbled. "How do you know they're not fakes? Do you ever see anyone changing?"

"Well, no... But why would they make it up? And practically every single account that talks about it gets deleted! You should really check out r/Tānetanga, you'll-"

"Nuh-uh! I ain't checking out no Reddit about some conspiracy theory!" Lamar complained, trying to stand his ground, but Jordan didn't wait. With a roll of his eyes, he bounded after his friend as the beach came into full view. There are several men spread out around the cove, taking in the sun, wading in the waves. "Woah, those guys are naked," Lamar noticed, turning to avert his eyes from the sight. "This is some nudie beach! No wonder those TikToks are being deleted. We should definitely not be here..."

"Relax, it's all part of the magic! You'll see." Jordan dumped his bag on the sand, and stripped down to a pair of speedos that could have been mistaken for tighty whities. "You said you wanted adventure. It's better than some stuffy architecture tour, right?"

Lamar stared dumbfounded at his friend, not even dignifying that with a response. Jordan merely shrugged and bounded towards the ocean, leaving him alone. He looked around, noticing a few men looking in his direction, expectantly. He felt a shiver up his spine. Realising how much he didn't want to be left alone, he threw his shirt aside and begrudgingly followed his friend up to the ocean. His feet tingled underneath the warm sand in a not entirely pleasant way. That tingling only increased as they waded into the ice-cold, blue waters. He gave Jordan a pat on the shoulder, then asked, "Okay. So what happens now?"

The Christmas Spirit

A merry belated Christmas, everyone! And a happy early New Year! To celebrate, here's a very special, Christmassy TF story for you all. A collaboration with the wonderful visceral-stories, who has so graciously teamed up with me to write this story full of festive cheer! Do go give him your support. And, hey, maybe throw me a bone too. 😉

THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

 

It's nearly Christmas, and all Trevor wants is to ruin the holidays for everyone in his home of Mistletoe Valley. After his gang of destined high school drop-outs cause a ruckus at the mall, Trevor happens upon a golden invitation offering him the opportunity to escape his delinquent life, and begin a new one as the greatest festive icon of all. But will he take it? It appears he has no choice in the matter!

A Tough Decision

THE DECADES CIGAR

Ethan was lounging outside, enjoying the warm morning sun, when he heard the patio door open. He opened his eyes, and turned to see Bruno stomp out with a mug of coffee, and proceed to collapse into one of the outdoor sofas with a long sigh.

"Phew! I'm so glad it's the weekend," Bruno mumbled after taking a sip of coffee. "Who knew that having a job could be so tiring."

"You're the top executive in your company, how can you be tired?" Ethan questioned accusingly. "All you do is sit at a desk, and hold meetings. Nothing like me..."

"Hey! I also do other stuff!" Bruno growled, rubbing at the back of his neck, working out a kink. "It's just tougher at my age. Being in your fifties can be such a drag... Not that I'm complaining!"

"Well, you did make that decision yourself, you know."

"Yeah, yeah..." Bruno smiled wistfully. "But I could still do with an extra day to relax." Suddenly, he snapped his fingers, his leathery face stretched into a grin. "Hang on, I'm basically the boss! From now on, we're going to have a four day week. It's the future, you know."

"I don't think that's how-"

"And there's only one way to celebrate such a momentous decision." He grinned as he leapt to his feet, and reached for a humidor hidden inside of an outdoor cabinet. Inside were a selection of fine cigars.

He took one from the top, then turned to Ethan and held the box out to him. "Don't think I forgot about you."

"I don't know if I should, it's not even noon..."

"C'mon, just one little cigar. I know you want to."

In The Moonlight

My roommate has always been a little odd, ever since I moved in with him. Don't get me wrong, Harry's a swell guy. Kinda tiny, and thin as a rake, pretty clean-cut, mostly keeps to himself. And we get along just fine, I can't even recall a single argument. But then he has these moments, it feels like it almost happens every month. I'll invite him out somewhere, and he says he has other plans. Then he'll go out all night, and I won't see him for a few days. He never talks about it. Which is weird because it's definitely something. One time, I looked in his room for some spare deodorant, and found a whole wardrobe full of leather, and kinky toys. Not that I'm judging, everyone gets their kicks some way. But he never brings anyone back to the apartment, I've never even seen him leave the house with the stuff.

For now, Harry's on crunch time at work, putting in long hours and weekends to get their current project done and dusted. He's been so frazzled, I don't think he's even been eating right. So to cheer him up, I decided to treat him to a night at the Wood Cabin, a decent pizzeria on the edge of town.

"I really shouldn't..." He mumbled as we got out of the car. "Pam wants the updated papers tomorrow morning."

"C'mon, you're working too hard! All that stress causes grays, you know."

"Right..." he scratched at his head with a frown. His temples were scattered with premature white hairs. Poor guy's not even thirty yet.

I reach over and pull him into a tight squeeze. "C'mon! It's just one night, my treat. Plus, it's two-for-one Thursday. We might even make the end of happy hour if we hurry."

"Wow, half price pizza, and five dollar cocktails? You're really pushing the boat out, cheapskate." He shook his head. "Besides, I believe you'll find that it's Wednesday today."

"No, it's definitely Thursday. Dragscapades drops new episodes on Wednesdays, and that was definitely yesterday. You've been working non-stop since last week, after all."

"But- No... I never lose track of time... I can't..." Harry glanced at his phone, then up to the sky.

"It happens, it's no biggie. Just think, you're one day closer to the weekend." I went to nudge him jovially, only to realise he wasn't with me. I glanced back, and he was running in the opposite direction, towards the woods.

The Decades Cigar

Ethan had rushed to his best friend's house after Bruno texted him about an epic surprise that'd help solve their vaping issues. It was getting harder and harder to keep their habit under wraps from their parents. Until now, the only appropriate option was to quit. But if Bruno had found something, it was probably big.

As the door opened, Ethan was somewhat taken aback. There was an unfamiliar man on the other side smoking a cigar. He cracked a massive smile upon seeing the portly teen at his door, deep wrinkles cutting onto his leathery face. "Hey buddy!" he cried in a rough yet familiar tone, beckoning him inside.

Following the man through the hallway, Ethan did his best to dodge the cigar smoke, which wouldn't help his case if his parents caught a whiff of it on his clothes. Through the haze, he asked, "Hi, uhm, have we met before?"

"You could say that," the gruff man replied, a sly grin flashed across his lips. "I'm Bruno's, uhh, uncle. From his dad's side. Thought I could help with your little predicament."

Bruno never mentioned having an uncle who also smoked, even if it was cigars instead of vapes. Maybe the older man knew something that would convince their parents it wasn't that big a deal. As they entered the kitchen, the man ducked behind a cabinet and poured himself a glass of whiskey, which looked close to empty. Yet, Ethan couldn't help but notice what was missing. "Uhm, sir? Where exactly is Bruno?"

Family Discounts

While I do enjoy being the apprentice to an all powerful sorcerer and working in his Magic Curiosities Emporium, there are a few problems. For one, I'm in a constant state of work and education. If I'm not manning the store and helping customers, I'm being taught the how-tos and what-nots of the magical trade. Every moment is an opportunity to learn according to my master. It can also be a lonely life as everyone I used to know in my previous life has forgotten of my existence, and constantly being under the watchful eye of my master made it difficult to meet other people. 

Then there's that code of impartiality I'm magically bound to. It's mainly because some real shady shit happens within the confines of this shop, and it's bad business to interfere no matter how immoral or unethical it may be. I can offer advice or even warn of potential doom, but that's as far as I can go. If someone wants a potion that Medusas their neighbour, or enchanted gloves that Elsas the town then that's their prerogative, we need to earn money somehow. And when those problems collide? Ho boy. There are times I've struggled to keep impartial when folks from my former life enter the store. Much like how one of my former cousins lives in the plaza pond waiting for a fairy-tale obsessed woman to attempt kissing him. I did warn him beforehand but a purchase is a purchase. He was a bit of a misogynistic jerk, so I can't feel too bad about his froggening... 

So today, I was in for a shock. A short, stocky man entered the store with his teenaged son in tow. I almost ignored them until I heard the kid whine about missing the sales at Game Hut. I froze in place and stuck my head around the corner. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was Wilbur! In my former life, he was one of my closest friends. We would hang out all the time watching movies, playing video games, pulling pranks. Now I was closer to his dad's age which made those heydays feel a little weird. It had been over two years since I last saw my pal, and he looked almost exactly the same. He still even had that dorky fringe cut. Meanwhile, I was a good 30 years older and more than a hundred pounds heavier...

I had to physically restrain myself from greeting Wilbur with a hug, and tucked myself away in the hopes I wouldn't be spotted. It wasn't like either of them would recognise me. Even without the age-up, my master had performed an intricate reality shift to remove any traces of my former existence from the world. But I still knew them, and it's always so awkward having to pretend that I don't.

Eventually, Wilbur's dad spotted me as he marched away from the clearance rack and towards the shop counter. He had a determined look on his face which worried me. What exactly had they come searching for? With the sales going on, there was a lot that could go awry. I couldn't go against my impartiality vow but this was The Wilburnator! My dearest friend! I had to tread carefully, and maybe throw them on a different path that could benefit them in other ways...

The Romans, and the Greeks

It wasn’t that the trip to the art museum was entirely boring. There was some really cool stuff in here, Roman and Max agreed. They were super into the room that had the sculptures that looked like balloon animals. The issue was that seeing all the interesting stuff took roughly fifteen minutes, which left them five hours to kill.

“Five…hours…” Roman grumbled dramatically, dragging his feet behind him like he was on invisible crutches. “I’m not gonna make it, man. Tell…tell Livi…I always thought she was hot as hell.”

“Man, I would, but I’m definitely gonna die of boredom too,” Max replied. “At least there’s food right?”

“I guess. Mmm yum, museum food,” Roman snorted. He pushed the mushroom fringe of his bangs out to the side even though he was fully aware it would flop right back over his eyes, which it did. “When do we have to meet the group? Like 40, 45 minutes from now?”

“Yeah, for the tour.”

“I can’t believe they’re letting us run wild here. Someone’s gonna break something.”

Max looked witheringly at Roman, who was grinning from ear to ear. “You mean YOU’RE going to try to break something.”

“I never try, it’s not my fault that I’m clumsy.” It was a running joke at school that Roman’s hands and feet didn’t match the rest of his body, at least not yet. He and Max were the same average height, yet Roman’s feet were four sizes bigger, and he tripped over them constantly.

Roman and Max were best buddies. Equals. Instead of a leader/follower dynamic, they were competitors; willful young men who didn’t take anything seriously except for their own opinions. They’d been friends since middle school, after a knockdown, dragout fight over a loose basketball, quite counterproductive since they were on the same team. But they both thought it was hilarious, and after that, they were almost always together, picking the same classes and ensuring they had the same lunchtime.

Their first jaunt was through a textiles exhibition, which they thought might be cool because it could be about texting, like some kind of digital art. It turned out textiles were fabrics, which was intensely uninteresting. “It’s…rugs,” Roman deadpanned, looking around the room. “Rugs and blankets. Dope.”

“Dude, you know who’d like this stuff? My mom,” Max said, which was the most damning assessment possible, and made them both laugh until a massive security guard glared at them. That was their cue to go, and as they headed out of the exhibition, Max’s phone vibrated. “Miller says he’s hiding out in some movie room. I think I’ll pass.”

“Nah, if I watch something I will definitely fall asleep, and then you’d both leave me there and I’d wake up seven hours later, and the museum would be closed, and I’d never be able to leave and that would be my life.”

“That makes complete sense, you’re exactly right,” Max said. “Hey look, Greek stuff.”

“I prefer Roman stuff.”

“God, shut UP,” Max groaned, giving Roman a shove that roused a “Hey!” from another huge guard nearby.

“Ah man, we gotta go in here,” Roman said, pointing to an exhibit entrance framed by multicolor stripes painted elegantly on the walls. “Rainbow Rebellion: Queer Coding Throughout the Ages,” he read out loud before turning serious. “I think this will be really good for you, to see the art of your people.”

“You’re the one everyone says is gay,” Max shot back.

“Literally no one says that, perv.” Roman was walking in. Max held back and then rolled his eyes and caught up, looking over his shoulder to make sure no classmates were around. The exhibition wasn’t big, only two rooms, and it was a departure from the others in that it had all styles of art. There was a painting from the 1800s of two young men on a beach, sitting side by side; nearby was a photograph of two muscle guys in leather and chains. Both Roman and Max ignored it, too embarrassed to commentate.

“This is, uh, really gay, man,” Max whispered with an evil smile on his face. “I just want you to know, if you have something to tell me, I’m your friend…”

Roman knew where he was going and cut him off. “Only one of us got a boner in the locker room after swimming, and it wasn’t me,” he sang, flouncing off in an exaggerated caricature of a walk before Max could punch him in the arm. 

They ended up by a large Grecian urn that didn’t seem gay at all. It depicted a side profile from the shoulders up of a bearded man embracing a feminine counterpart. That is, until Max and Roman looked at the other side of the urn and saw the same two figures in full, now plainly obvious that they were two extremely muscular men. It looked almost like they were wrestling at first glance. One man was sitting on top of the other, and that’s when they realized…they were fucking. The man on the ground had his dick in the man on top’s ass. Each man flexed a bulging arm, which formed the handles of the jar.

“Aw, GROSS,” Max tittered, as both boys cramped with laughter. “That’s…is that how they do it? Damn, dude. What the…groooossss.”

Roman’s entire face was curled up in laughter. “I can’t believe they’re just leaving this out here for people to see. This is education! Where’s one with girls touching each other, I’ll be all about that.”

“Dare you to touch it,” Max said evilly, pointing to one of the handles. “No guards around. Touch that guy’s big freaky gross bodybuilder arm.”

“No way! I’m not getting near that homo urn. These things have invisible guards and shit! What if the alarm goes off?”

“Then we bolt. Besides, if they didn’t want you to touch it, they’d have it under glass,” Max reasoned. Roman frowned. Max had a point. It was lousy but valid. He hesitated for a moment, then stretched out his index finger like ET, and gently poked the urn in the least homoerotic area he could muster. Max scoffed at his feeble attempt. “That doesn’t count!”

“Of course it does, I touched it.”

“Yeah, barely.”

“Well it’s more than you did!”

“You have to hold it. Caress that freaky bicep like the repressed homosexual you are.”

“Well maybe YOU should do it. I dare you!”

They looked at each other. “Fine. We’ll do it at the same time,” Max said, eyes darting around.

“Fine,” Roman grunted. They stood on opposite sides of the urn, raised their palms, and nodded at each other. Then, their hands darted forward and each of them grasped one of the handles. They locked eyes for a brief moment, daring the other to let go first. Eventually, the approaching squeak of rubber soles on marble flooring forced them to abandon the urn. Max and Roman scurried away laughing like the schoolboys they were.

Replacement Dad

The air was brimming with tension. Adam glanced nervously at the man sat in the armchair, a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands. He was a lean, scruffy man in his late forties wearing a plaid dressing gown that he'd retrieved for him after their unfortunate first meeting. They hadn't spoke for several minutes now. Adam was starting to sweat from anxiety, waiting for the stoic man to yell at him in anger. He took a long sip of coffee, then finally he looked Adam in the eye. Instead of anger, he spoke calmly with a bit of grit in his voice. "So tell me again what happened exactly."

Adam took a deep breath, and replied "I made a wish last night, and then it came true."

"And that wish was...?"

"For my best friend to be my real dad..."

"And that's why I'm now a 48 year old, widowed father of one? A botched wish?"

Adam was on the verge of tears. He said "I only meant it jokingly because you're so kind to me, and my real dad is so evil... I didn't know it would actually come true! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Missing The Dance

My friend, Alex, and I were supposed to be going to the end of year dance at school, yet for some reason he was ignoring me. I'd been waiting outside his house for 10 minutes now. I rang the doorbell for a third time. "Come on dude, I can see you standing there, open the door!" I glared through the frosted windows, waiting for the blurry figure in the corridor to move. "The dance started half an hour ago. You've spoken non-stop about it for the past month!" I waited a few more moments until I sighed in faux-disappointment. "Oh well, I guess you left me with no choice but to use the spare key you keep under the-"

"NO!" he shouted, suddenly rushing to the door and slamming his weight into it to prevent me from opening it. "I already told you. I've come down with something, and I don't want you to catch it." He coughed a little before continuing "It's a shame I can't go, but don't worry. Just go without me."

I weighed up my options. He did sound unwell. his voice was rough and gravelly. But he once went to Six Flags with pneumonia, so I know even illness wouldn't keep him away. "I'm not leaving this doorstep until you're by my side bro, you know that."

He sighed and said "I do... But it's hard to explain. I can't leave the house, not like this..."

"What is it, a huge zit on the nose? Horrible haircut? Ugly rental suit?"

"It's difficult to put in words..." There was a moment of silence until he sighed loudly and grumbled "fine. I'll show you. But don't freak out or anything! It's going to be a shock."

Cursed Necklace

Date Night

Vignettes: Halloween Costumes

Miles entered Costume Plaza with awe. He'd never seen so many costumes in his life! He didn't know where to begin looking. He was eventually drawn to a rack near the entrance labelled "LAST MINUTE COSTUMES!". He swept through the rack, until he discovered a bag filled with army wear, labelled "Demolition Hawk". The name sounded somewhat familiar to him. Curious,  he brought the bag into the changing room to jog his memory. He pulled on a long pair of camouflage pants, slipped on the large, heavy boots, and stuck the helmet on his head. However, it seemed like an incomplete costume. Where was the shirt?

His question was answered when he felt a sudden pressure inside his body. He felt himself lurch up to the ceiling, almost doubling in height. Then his body burst outwards with pounds of muscle. His chest comically inflated like balloons into perfect slabs of luscious meat, while his stomach pulsated until a beautiful pair of abs emerged from within. His arms and legs swelled up in quick succession, growing to almost unrealistic proportions. Dark tattoos pierced through his skin, elaborately decorating his right arm and torso. His jawline reshaped itself into a squared off visage, finished off with a perfectly manicured beard.

Astonished, Miles ran a hand across his meaty body, feeling his plump pecs. He traced a finger across the tattoos that adorned his bicep, involuntarily flexing his arm in the process. He looked familiar somehow. He stroked his chin partially in thought, and partially to scratch his facial hair. Suddenly, he remembered. Demolition Hawk! From that gritty 90s army cartoon! He used to watch it with his dad all the time before he started school. He had always admired Demo, always wanted to be like him when he grew up. "Guess I got my wish" he said in a low, rumbling voice, flexing his arm with a grin. Hopefully the Halloween event didn't have too strict of a dress code.