It felt like it would never come, but today was finally the day... Splashdown Adventure Park day! Chase and Miles had been hyping up the visit to the water park for weeks. It had become like an annual pilgrimage for the best friends, with Miles' parents even splashing out for a private cabana to relax as the boys were set free on the water slides. The two of them could practically track their growth spurts as they evolved from toddler splash pools to family raft rides to solo body slides. And now they had their eyes on the real big kid slides they'd previously been too short to ride, with the thrills and spills that came with them.
As soon as they arrived and dumped their belongings in the cabana, they ran straight for the newest, coolest ride of all - The Big Dipper. It was the fastest, tallest, longest, and coincidentally, the only water-coaster slide in the state. It was still under construction when they visited last year, so it was kind of a big deal. It also had the tallest height restriction in the park. The air was tense as Miles stepped up first. The park employee measured him against the height chart, but it wasn't even needed. He passed the 48 inch requirement and then some. No surprises there.
Next up was Chase, his heart beating hard. His head just about grazed the bottom of the bar. He almost jumped for joy, until the employee looked down. "No footwear allowed," he said a little too cheerfully. Chase gulped as he removed his sandals, along with a half-inch of his height, and any hope of riding the Big Dipper that year.
"I don't have to go on without you," Miles said, obvious disappointment in his voice. "I bet it's dumb anyway. You're supposed to go down slides, not up them."
"No, no," Chase sighed. "It wouldn't be fair of me to stop you, it's all you talked about in the car up here... Go ride it, and I'll meet you back at the wave pool."
So Chase left his best friend to join the twenty minute queue alone, deciding instead to pull up a rubber tube and unwind on the lazy river for a couple of loops before it got too busy. Then he hopped in line for the Orca Run speed chutes, at least he was tall enough to do those, before walking back past the Big Dipper. The line had shortened considerably. In fact, it was practically non-existent. It must have been the early lunch lull. He was tempted to try his luck again, but that same employee was posted outside the entrance. He sighed, and walked back to the cabana where Miles' parents were waiting for the duo to return.
Except they weren't there... It was a good thing Chase turned up. All of their belongings were left unattended. Even one of their phones was abandoned on a lounge chair. It was like they'd left in a hurry. They didn't have to worry about beating the lunch rush since they could order directly to the cabana. So where did they go? Something weird was going on...
Chase tapped the abandoned phone to see it had been an hour since he'd left Miles at the Big Dipper. It was supposed to have been a twenty minute wait to ride, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Chase shouldn't worry, he reminded himself. Maybe he'd gotten distracted by the sting ray touch tank again. However, he kept hearing hushed snippets of conversations about something wrong with the Big Dipper. Was it closed? Did someone fall off? It wasn't like he could contact Miles, nobody carries their phone about with them in a water park. All he could do was wait by the wave pool like they'd agreed upon.
After a few minutes of scouring the horizon, he finally heard a cry from afar. "CHASE!!" The cry was familiar, but the tone wasn't. It sounded rougher, deeper. In the distance, he could see a beefy middle aged man wading through the water towards him. He was the hairiest man he'd seen at the park by far, all except for his nude head. Weird, it was like he was heading straight for him. Chase looked around, but there was nobody else in the shallow depths of the wave pool. "Chase!" The man yelled again, his unbridled enthusiasm plain on his bristly face. The guy had to be in his late forties. Maybe he'd lost his glasses, and assumed he was his son? A son also called Chase?
Finally, the man came to a halt in front of him, unbridled joy bubbled through him. "Uhm, hi?" Chase said, taken aback by how big the man was. Yet despite his size, there was a childlike immaturity that clashed with his mature appearance.
"Chase! Oh my gosh, you won't believe what happened!" The man hollered. "I got on the ride, but they evacuated 'cause of some weird accident, but I was already on the slide, and it made me all big, so they took me somewhere to make me sign some stuff, and give me new swim shorts!"
"Sorry, I think you have the wrong kid," Chase mumbled to the floor, not wanting to look the strange man in the eye. "You're not my dad, my dad's not even here."
"You don't..." The man slapped a wet palm against his head. "Oh, duh, of course! I don't look the same. It's me, Miles!"
"You're not Miles."
"Uhm, yes I am?"
"No, you're not."
"I really am!"
"Nuh-uh."
"Yuh-huh! I can prove it! I have a pet snake called Chompers, but he doesn't bite. I'm a Yankees fan, which annoys you since we don't live anywhere near New York. We watched that new Dreamworks movie last week at the Cineplex downtown!"
"Nuh-uh, that's not how this works," Chase said. Although stubbornness and oversharing were two of Miles' specialties... "I ask you the questions, 'cause you could just be an actor or something!
The man tilted his head like a confused spaniel. "Why would I be an actor? I'm me!"
"I'unno," Chase said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Miles and I play pranks on each other all the time. Maybe you're an uncle I've never met or something. Sooo... What book are we reading in English class right now?"
"Uhm..." Maybe-Miles' face scrunched up in concentration, deepening the wrinkles he already had. "There's a girl who can move stuff with her mind, and the principal hates her... There was a big cake..." He sighed and pouted. "C'mon, that's not fair. You know I only watch the movies when I can. Ask me something easier!"
Well the guy did have his lack of attention span down pat... Chase thought hard. "What was our homework this week?"
"Trick question!" The man declared with confidence. "We didn't get any homework 'cause we had a substitute. The guy with the curly mustache. Hey, I wonder if..." He reached up to his own mustache and tugged at the corners, but they were too short to add a curl. "Aw..."
"We definitely did get homework," Chase sighed as the man's shoulders slumped in dejection. "He gave us that water cycle worksheet to complete. The one you immediately turned into a paper airplane."
"Oh yeah," a cheeky smile flashed across his bearded mug in remembrance. "I flew it off the overpass and it landed in a dump truck, where all homework belongs. Hang on..." His eyes widened, his smile brightened. "You called me you! As in me! As in, you think I'm Miles! You really believe me?"
"Enough to not find the nearest employee and tell them some weird guy is stalking me. Besides, only Miles could be so clueless." The man let out a booming laugh, and pulled him into a bear hug. Chase scowled as he felt the guy's wet stomach hair rub against his face, pushing himself away with an exaggerated gag. "Ew, it got in my mouth!"
"Sorry," Miles chuckled. "I forgot I have lots of hair on me now. Well, except on my head. But neither does my dad, so that's not weird. You know, considering the weirdness of all this." He waved a hand up and down his large body.
"Yeah, it's not everyday your bestest friend gets old in an instant," Chase said as they walked back towards the cabana. He sat down on a comfortable deckchair while Miles hopped onto a padded recliner in the shade. Chase looked to the man who appeared to be wider than the sunbed he laid on, and asked "so why are you a gorilla man now?"
"Oooh! I never told you what happened!" Miles gasped, his beaming face grew even brighter. "Well first of all, that queue was soooo long! It said it was twenty minutes, but it must have been half an hour, at least. And I had to carry my own tube the entire time, which sucked! When you get up there, you place the tube on a conveyor belt, and you sit down, and the guy presses a button, and it moves you onto the slide, and you go down. So I did all that when an announcement came over the speakers. Something was wrong, and they had to close the ride and evacuate everyone. But I was this close to getting on the slide, and the water was still going. So in the confusion, I pressed the conveyor belt button myself and hopped back into the tube, and went down the slide before the guy could stop me.
"So there's a construction zone near the ride exit, they're building a new play space with jumping fountains or something, I don't really care. Apparently, there was some kind of incident where a forklift dropped some blocks onto a plank of wood or something, and it sent this huge bottle of experimental fertilizer into the air, and it landed in the Big Dipper splash pool, where it all spilled out and reacted with the chlorine and made it extra strong."
"Hang on," Chase interrupted. "You saw all this happen, and you still went down the slide?"
"Nah, that's what the lawyers told me happened. Or rather, didn't happen. Or... I'll get to that when I get to it, jeez!" Miles pouted with an annoyed grunt before continuing. "So I went down the slide, and oh my gosh. The Big Dipper? So. Cool! Seriously, The drops make your stomach flip, and there are these super strong jets that push you back up the tall parts, and you get a bit of air time at the peaks, and there are these dark tunnels with light up stars and planets and meteors and stuff in them so it's like you're flying through space! There's even a drop in the dark at the end that comes outta nowhere. I need to ride it again. Do you think they've opened it already? We should go before-"
"Hey, focus!" Chase snapped. "How did any of that make you get so big and hairy?"
"Well, genetics played a big part," Miles said with a grin. "Buuut, the water in the splash pool is hooked up to the water in the slide. Must be that water cycle or something, so they don't waste any of it. Which meant as I went down the slide, it was like a superpowered growth potion all around me. I noticed something was up as I came out of that first tunnel, and my legs were long and dangling over the edge of the tube, but I didn't have time to think about it before being shot into the next tunnel. When I came out of that one, I noticed I'd grown wider than the tube itself, and there was something furry on my chest. But again, I didn't have time to think before I was thrown into the last tunnel. I noticed my excited yells were deeper and more manly too, but I figured it was the tunnels making me sound weird.
"It wasn't until I landed in the splash pool, and saw a bunch of security guys that I realised something big was up. I slipped off the inner tube and stood in the pool, and I was like woah, I'm standing in the pool and the water only reaches my chest. Then I looked down and was like woah, I got lots of hair all over me, and woah, I got really big pecs and huge arms. And then I saw my ripped shorts float by and I was like woah, I'm naked in front of loads of strangers!"
"You mean everyone saw your..."
"Yeah..." Miles rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward laugh. "Especially when I got out of the splash pool, there was no avoiding it. I tried to cover myself, but it'd kinda grown up with me, and now it's too big to hide in my hands... But anyway!
"They bundled me up, and took me to like a hidden facility behind the food court, and I thought I was getting into trouble because I lost my shorts on the ride. But they gave me these new ones, so that's alright. Of course, I was worried about my sudden growth spurt, and why I was super muscly and really hairy, but also why I was bald. I thought the jets on the ride had blown it off, and it all got stuck to my arms and legs and crotch and belly and back. But then these boring guys in suits came in and explained what happened. Or in their words." Miles cleared his throat, straightened his back, and stuck a finger in the air as he put on a mocking serious tone. "A potential sequence of events that likely attributed to your sudden and unfortunate growth spurt." He dropped the act and frowned. "They were covering their behinds. Plausible deniability or something..."
"Huh? Possible diarrhea...?"
"Ew, no! Plausible deniability! They're basically saying it's not their fault since nobody can prove what went wrong without proper evidence. Like how they totally can't prove I went down the slide by myself on purpose. It's my word against theirs. And vice versa... They still wanted me to sign some boring legal junk saying I wouldn't sue or tell people anything, and stuff. But I was smart and got them to find my parents before I did anything. They weren't too happy to see me. Mom didn't even recognise me at first, which was really weird... Dad thought I was his cousin Hank. I've never met the guy, but if he looks like me, then he's probably really cool and very good looking."
"More like a middle aged dork."
"Shut up, I'm awesome. Anyway, what they didn't know is that my parents are real good lawyers. And they started arguing with the other lawyers, and it was getting super uncomfy in there. So I told them I was going to the restroom, and then I slipped out so I could find you!"
"Wow, that's quite the story," Chase said wearily. His head was spinning. There was an accident on the slide which caused his best friend to rapidly age into a middle aged man? And Splashdown was trying to cover it up? It was insane! A tall tale almost impossible to believe! But this was Miles he was talking about, he'd never be able to come up with something this farfetched, which meant it must be true... Which only begged one question. "What now?"
"I could go for something to eat," Miles suggested with a pat of his solid belly. "Do you think they serve alcohol this early? Actually, do you think I could even order a beer without an ID? I got a half-gray beard and male pattern baldness, surely they wouldn't ask. You know, my grandpa let me try beer once, and it was nasty, but grown ups drink it all the time, so maybe I'll like it now."
"That's not what I meant..."
"Oh?" His eyes widened. "Oh! We haven't done any slides together! Good call. We should totally do The Hurricane now! All that spinning in the funnel would make us sick if we ate first."
"No! Not the food, not the rides, not nothing. What do you do now that you're old? You can't go back to school with me. And you can't get a job without finishing school. But you can't finish school 'cause you're an old man! And you act like this is nothing when it's definitely something... How are you so okay with all of this!?"
"Well first of all, I'm not an old man," Miles said with a frown. "I'll admit I'm old, I'm basically older than mom and dad now. I mean, I got some white chest hairs, and you don't get those 'til you're super old, like forty." Miles shuddered at the thought, then said more reassuringly, "But I'm not elderly. Besides, look at me. Look at my muscles! I'm so swole now! And I've always wanted to grow a beard. The rest of the body hair is a bonus."
Chase shook his head, and said "I get it, you're totes manly. But that doesn't change the fact you still need a job." How could his friend not see what he did?
"Pft, job..." Miles scoffed condescendingly. "The way things are going in that meeting room, I won't even need a job. I think the water park's gonna offer us, like, millions of dollars to keep quiet. Maybe billions! Yeah, my life's gonna be awesome... It's just a shame you weren't there."
Miles spoke up first. "Well if we were both together, then we'd both be massive , muscly, manly men now! We'd get jobs working together at the same place, even thought we wouldn't need them 'cause we'd be billionaires. We could've even lived together and had wacky sitcom adventures..."
"Don't get me wrong," Chase said in return. "You're my bestest friend in the entire world. But now that you're a grown up, everything's different. It'd be weird if my bestest friend was almost my grandpa's age..."
"Hey, I told you I'm not that old! I think..." Miles scratched his beard at the thought. "But you're right. Now that I'm a grown man, I definitely can't be besties with a boy young enough to be my son. Not grandson. Son."
"Hey, you said it, not me." Chase chuckled. "So the only way we can stay besties is that you find a way to become a kid again, which I don't see happening. That, or I go through the same experience you did, and become a man myself. And the thing is, I'm not ready to grow up like you did. I like being a kid, and I especially don't want to be all bulky and hairy like you. But!" He added before Miles could protest. "If given the choice, I think that I want to stay being best friends with you more than I don't want to be old. Let's face it, you can't handle adulthood alone. You need me there right by your side."
"Alright then," Miles chuckled as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "If we hurry, I can use my awesome new super strength to chuck you into the pool before they're done cleaning it out."
"I'd rather you didn't," Chase said defensively. He knew that Miles would do it too. He was certainly big enough and strong enough. "No, we should be more careful than that..."
Miles deflated with a big sigh. "Okay... I guess I can find a use for my big, strong muscles some other way." He flexed a bicep with a chuckle, his eyes glancing back behind Miles. "Oh crap!" He gasped, immediately flipping off and behind the sunbed.
Chase turned back to see a pair of lifeguards crossing the path. But something was weird about them. They didn't look tan enough to be out in the sun all day. And did they have those earbud radios secret agents use? "What's going on?" Chase asked.
"I saw those guys in the meeting room," Miles said. "I told everyone I was going to use the restroom, but was like half an hour ago..."
"Great..." Chase sighed. "So we have to find a way to sneak onto the Big Dipper, and also avoid the lifeguards who want to make you sign some legal papers. That's all assuming the water is still contaminated with that growth junk or whatever it was they told you." They were fighting a losing battle here. Maybe they should call it quits, he really didn't want to end up a meaty, bald gorilla man like Miles. But then Chase looked towards the pile of bags on the floor, and an idea came to him. "you guys brought some spare clothes, right?"
Amazing story - really loved the scene and the ending!!
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