Birthday Bumps

"What's wrong? You've been a little distant this whole meal."

"Huh?" I glanced over to Ethan, who had put an arm around my shoulder. I shook my head, and took a puff of my cigar. "It's complicated..." I sighed. "Just dwelling on the uncertainties of life, and the future, and stuff."

"Aw, babe, you shouldn't fret about that, especially on your birthday!" He took me by the arm, and led us back to our table where a small designer cake with a single candle sat atop. "Relax, you only turn 38 once, after all."

Ethan tugged lightly on my beard, pulling me closer as we locked lips in a loving kiss. I smiled for him, and blew out the candle to his delight. But I couldn't help but dwell on my thoughts. Everything was happening so fast, it wasn't supposed to be this complicated.

--------------------

It was while we stood at the front of the restaurant, waiting for our server to return and lead us to our reserved table. I was bouncing on my feet impatiently, when I felt a heavy figure crash into my back. I stumbled with an "oof!" Turning around, I glared at the man who had bumped into me.

He looked apologetic but didn't even stop. "Sorry, kid!" he cried out, almost as an afterthought, as he rushed through the crowded restaurant, to the balcony in the back.

I frowned, but shook off the accident. I wasn't going to let some jerk ruin my birthday. I was finally entering double digits, the big 1-0. I was going to have an awesome lunch with my best friends before heading to the entertainment complex that recently opened down the street. There was an arcade with VR, laser tag, mini golf, and a Ninja Warrior style obstacle course all under one roof! It was going to be the best birthday!

Halloween Nostalgia

Maria pawed through her purse one last time, ensuring she had everything she needed, followed by an affirmative nod of the head. She looked up to her eldest son, home from college for a week, and beamed. "Thank you for looking after Carlos tonight," she said with a glance over to her youngest, who was engrossed in a battle on his Switch. "Remember to stick to the neighborhood, don't go any further than Maple Avenue, and be home before eight! I don't want you staying out all night. And don't forget to-"

"Don't worry mom," Gabe interrupted. His mom always worried. "We'll be safe."

"And Carlos." Maria leaned down to speak quieter. "Thank you for amusing your brother, I know Halloween isn't your favorite."

"Aha..." Carlos mumbled, keeping his focus on his game.

"You say it like I'm forcing him to go!" Gabe said with a exaggerated pout. "Now hurry along or you'll be late." He waved his mom goodbye, then ran to the storage cupboard where he'd stored two bags, each containing a costume. The words "Costume Plaza" in big balloon letters adorned each one. He chucked the largest bag to Carlos, who grumbled as he paused his game. Gabe was practically bouncing with energy. "I hope you're ready for a spook-filled night!"

"You know I'm not." Carlos groaned, taking his bag by the handle. "But you'll never shut up about it if I don't."

"That's the spirit!" Gabe cheered, watching as his brother slunk towards the stairs. "We should leave within the hour if we don't want to miss the good candy!"

Carlos stomped upstairs with his bagged costume, clearly unhappy with the situation. As for Gabe, he couldn't wait to try his costume on. He carefully slid the garment out of its bag and gazed upon its beauty. Well, it was a cheap looking Loki costume, the kind made for a kid. But the difference was that this was actually magic. Though, now that he had it in hand, he had to admit that he had his doubts. It was clearly made for a child half his size. What if the claims were bogus? He'd be fifty bucks down with a tattered costume and major humiliation... 

"Well, here goes nothing..." He took his clothes off and began to put this tiny costume on. The first thing he noticed was just how stretchy it was. It actually stretched to fit his entire body, albeit incredibly tight. He felt like if he were to move any part of his body, it would suddenly rip. He waited motionless for a few seconds until he noticed the room expanding around him. He was shrinking! It was like the costume was pulling itself back to its original size, and it was taking him with it. He felt a weird wooshing as he crept closer and closer to the floor. Within minutes, he had become a kid-sized Loki. He couldn't help but marvel at what had happened. He stroked his face, now smooth and lacking his distinctive goatee. He felt energetic and care-free. And most of all, eager to go trick or treating! He just had to make one little arrangement...

Mixed-up Reservation

"Hi, we're here to check in? Should be under Arden."

The woman at the guest check-in tapped the name into her system, and asked "Aha, Jack Arden?"

"Huh? No, it should be Michael... Jacky's my son," Michael said, pointing to the bright-eyed boy next to him, who gave a little wave. 

"Really? That's peculiar..." She tapped a few more times. "We do have a Michael Arden signed up to our kid's activity club."

"It looks like your computer's made a mistake," Michael said with a huff. "It must've got confused when I pre-booked the kid's stuff for my son. Isn't there a way to fix it?"

"Of course, sir. Let me just get your room sorted, and we'll get things switched around for you, post-haste."

After getting their room number and door keys, the two dumped their suitcases on their respective beds, and, while Michael started to put his clothes away, Jack jumped into the bathroom to put on his swimsuit. Moments later, Michael heard his son yell out, "Dad, my trunks are too small!"

"What?" He turned to see Jack wearing a bright red pair of trunks, which looked significantly outsized for him. Michael gaped and exclaimed, "we only bought them last week! They were baggy as anything."

"Yeah, but now they're really tight! I don't wanna go swimming in my underwear!"

"You won't have to, bud." Michael frowned as he dug into his suitcase. His son did look larger than usual, as if he'd had a growth spurt in the past fifteen minutes. But that wasn't possible He tossed him a pair of his own. "These'll be real big on you, so tie them up super tight!"

"Okay, thanks!" Jack ran back to the bathroom to get ready. Michael chuckled to himself, if only he had that type of energy. All he planned on doing this vacation was relaxing. As he himself got ready to leave, he gazed at himself in the mirror. He couldn't place it, but he was looking refreshed as ever. His skin looked radiant, he even looked slimmer, his perpetual love handles almost missing. The first day of vacation, and he already looked well rested. That must be a new record!

The Hangover

"Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!" A voice chirped as the curtains were thrown open, and Scott was rudely awoken from his deep slumber.

"Ah..." He sat up and blinked in the sudden sunlight, trying to see who had disturbed him, only to wince in pain. He rubbed his forehead as a terrible pounding throbbed deep in his skull.

"Headache huh?" It was his brother, Trent. But something seemed off about him. Scott tried to focus on him, but the morning light only made his headache worse.

"Mmmhmm... I don't feel too good..." he mumbled before coughing to clear his throat. He sounded as rough as he felt. "Ugh, get me a bucket..."

"That bad, huh? Well, I'm not surprised after the night you had."

Night. What even happened last night? It all felt a blur now. Flashes of memory blinked through his mind, none of which made sense and only made his headache worse. There was, however, one thing that stuck out. "I had the craziest dream," The thick deepness to his voice still persisted. "It was like... We found this sort of spell book in the archives, and after reading it out loud, we somehow managed to swap... lives in a way? You became a kid and I turned into an adult..."

He stifled a chuckle, covering it as a cough. "Wow, wouldn't that be crazy."

"Right? But since it was in a different language, we couldn't reverse the spell before we were kicked out at closing. So we had to pretend to be each other for the day, and nobody even noticed. Your friends even invited me to some bar and..." He paused to scratch his chest, and froze. He felt something unusual, something hairy... "What the-"

"Then what happened." Scott looked towards his brother. He hadn't noticed how light his voice sounded until now. He squinted in the morning light. He had thought Trent was sitting down, given how short he looked. Only now he realised he was actually standing. He also noticed his cartoony PJs and the pair of bunny slippers he was wearing. Then he noticed how round and not scruffy his face looked, He was almost cherub-like. Trent cracked a knowing grin, and prodded, "Go on, what happened at the bar?"

Scott's eyes widened. "Oh no..." He was still dreaming, he had to be! He looked back down at his own body. He had a toned, athletic torso with a tidy coverage of body hair. "No, this isn't..." He could feel his beard scratch again his collarbone as he spoke. He wasn't even in his own bedroom. Probably because he was too big to sleep in his own bed. With a final, daring move, he shoved a hand under the covers, and cringed upon discovering he wasn't wearing anything underneath. He grasped his hard cock in confused wonder, feeling it twitch upon his touch. "Noooo..." he gasped under his breath.

Trent jumped onto the other side of the bed with a laugh. "Took you long enough! And to finish your story, you went out with my buds, and went a little overboard on the alcohol. Welcome to your first hangover!"

"Hangover?" Scott grimaced at the thought. He couldn't have gotten drunk, or gone to a grown-ups party, or anything else his mind insisted he had done the night before. "This has to be a dream..."

"Afraid not, bro. The headache, the nausea, the tiredness, among other things. You really are a grown man who can't handle his drink."

Scott buried his face in his hands, wincing at the feeling of his beard ruffling against his palms. He slammed his head back into his pillow and groaned, "Just leave me here to die..."

"Don't be such a cry baby. It won't be the last time you get one of those."

"Not if I can help it. I'm never drinking again..."

"That's what they all say, first time round."

Scott's phone buzzed. Or rather, Trent's phone which Scott had acquired. He reluctantly picked it up, only to moan loudly at the message he received. "They want to go out again tonight!? I can't... We're going back to those archives and fixing this mess!"

Trent sucked on his teeth the way people do when giving bad news. "About that. The archives are kinda closed to visitors for the next few months... So unless you remember the name of that book, you'll have to take it easy on the alcohol tonight. But for now, a good cup of joe should perk you up."

Before Scott could react, his brother jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. "What!? I can't be stuck like this for months... Trent? Come back!" He sighed once more, Trent had even left the curtains wide open. With an annoyed grumbled, Scott rolled over and clenched his eyes shut once more. Maybe if he woke up again, he'd discover it was all just some horrible nightmare. He just had to go back to sleep once more...

More Captions!

Here are a few more captions for you guys to whet your appetites while I work on something a bit more substantial. Enjoy them!

(Age Swap, Young Adult < > Middle Age)

This app I downloaded is incredible! I was bored, as usual, and was looking for things to do when I came across it, the Life Changer. It looked like a Sims knock-off but I had nothing better to do. It asked a few questions, I took a selfie, and soon enough, there was this cartoonish avatar of myself on the screen. But there were options to change my avatar in so many ways, it was disorienting. I decided to try one thing, the life swap button. When I pressed it, it came up with options for everyone in a mile radius to me. My family, my neighbours, my friends. I didn't know so many people downloaded this app, but I didn't want any of them to be my avatar. 

I finally came across an unfamiliar face who wasn't butt-ugly. Jackson Reed, a buff looking man who lived outside of town, a personal fitness coach, and was currently in the park. He sounded perfect. I tapped the accept button and expected my avatar to change into that person. But what actually happened was surprising and so much better. I suddenly shot up in the air, gaining inches in seconds. My flabby body slimmed down in an instant, followed by a rapid bulking up of every muscle in my body. New hairs swirled across my chest and down my rock hard abs. In the mirror, I saw my face get more angular and my patchy stubble increased in density until I had a proper beard. Then wrinkles and grey hairs appeared.

As things came to an end, I leant against the doorway panting. I was huge! And so hairy... I had to take a picture to prove to myself it was real! I snatched the cap off my head, gasping at the sight of my bald head, then covered my crotch with it. There! I took the pics and chucked the hat to the side. My cock was so big and veiny now. I brushed a hand over my buff, hairy body with a smile. I stroked my scalp, shuddering at the feeling of my bald head. That would take some getting used to. Because there was no way I was swapping back! In fact, I quickly uninstalled the app before I could swap back. I feel a little bad for Jackson though, ending up with my previously unimpressive body. He's probably confused as heck, swimming in his baggy clothes as he tries to convince people he was a big muscleman only minutes earlier... Whelp, I can't help him now! He'll come to appreciate being a college drop-out eventually. Possibly. Meanwhile, I'm going to give my new mature body a night on the town!

Captions

I've been having a bit of writer's block recently, so I thought instead of doing longer stories, I'd make some shorter captioned stories instead. I used a randomiser to pick out some pictures I have saved to see what I could come up with.

(Age Progression, Teen > Middle Age)

So let me go over the plan one last time. You want me to act as your dad so I can convince the school to let you join the drama club trip to New York despite the fact you're not a member? I dunno man, it's pretty convoluted. Wouldn't it be easier to join the club? We could always use another stagehand. It's just... This is different from playing a role, the costume has literally made me a father figure. Besides, what if they know what your dad looks like? We barely resembled each other before I grew up, and I definitely don't look like him now. No offence but I have more hair than him, I'm in much better shape, and I'm far more handsome too... Damn, I grew up to be awesome... Yeah yeah, I know! It's only "temporary", but can't I take a few minutes to check out the goods before I have to... Sigh, fine! But after I've nailed my greatest role by convincing the school board it would be discriminatory to not let you go on the trip, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity. We did split the costume fee after all, and I'm going to get my money's worth. I wonder if I can get into a bar without ID...

Santa Hat 12

All was busy at Matty's house as their family Christmas gathering was underway. Relatives of all ages were spread throughout the house waiting for the signal they could all exchange gifts; when Uncle Jim came down the stairs decked out like Santa. Little Matty was especially excited, he looked forward to the theatrics every winter. But this year, he had a special goal in mind. He sat waiting at the foot of the stairs for his uncle to come by and popped the question. "Uncle Jim, do you think that this year, I could wear the Santa suit? Pretty please?"

Jim stroked his large beard in thought. "I don't know... It takes a big man to fill those boots. Heck, I barely fit into the suit. Though that's because I've gotten a little too big over the years..." He slapped his big belly for emphasis.

With a frown, Matty whined "Come on, I wanna be Santa this year!"

"Hold on...". Jim grabbed the Santa hat off his bald head and placed it on his nephew's. It slipped down past his ears and covered half his face. Jim chuckled, his belly shaking, and said "Sorry buddy, looks like you have some growing to do before you get to wear the suit! Maybe next year."

Matty pulled the hat back to sit on his head and flared his nostrils in annoyance. Jim squeezed upstairs to get prepared for his act, leaving Matty alone in a huff. Not big enough... His uncle was such a large man, he'd never achieve such a size in time. If only there was a way to get big quickly... Alas, nothing came to mind. Still fuming, Matty muttered under his breath "I wish I was big enough to wear that suit..."

Luck of the Irish

Aiden cursed as he dug deep into his wardrobe to find something to wear. Why did he not own anything green? Every year he has this problem, and every year he forgets to solve it! He blasted through his clothes looking for something, anything, that had even the faintest hint of green on it. But there was nothing, not even a lousy sock. He slapped a hand to his face in frustration, he was going to get harassed by everyone in his class. Unless...

Deck The Halls

Halloween Enthusiast

Lincoln sat across from his nephew, Barry, while they took a break from shopping. He'd brought the boy out to prepare for Halloween, but instead of finding the perfect costume and decorations, he'd spent the entire day distant and uninterested. It hurt to see his fellow Halloween enthusiast so down. Finally, he got up the courage to ask "Is something wrong? You're usually so ecstatic about Halloween. Where's your spirit huh?".

Barry scoffed at his uncle's joke and mumbled "I'unnoft, I just don't wanna do it this year. I'm getting too old for that stuff"

"Too old!?" Lincoln almost shouted. "You're barely twelve! That's not too old for trick-or-treating"

"Yuh-huh, it's for babies! Besides, none of my friends are going. I'd be the weird loner who couldn't take a hint"

"You wouldn't be alone, I'll be there remember? It's, like, our thing!"

"Ugh, that's worse. I'm almost a teenager, I can go door to door by myself now. You know, if I wanted to. And I don't. Because it's dumb. Jason's holding a scary movie marathon anyway"

"B-but I've taken you trick-or-treating every year since your first Halloween. I never had the chance to do it when I was your age you know."

"I know, you literally tell me every year. Face it, if I'm too old for trick-or-treating, then you're ancient! You have to outgrow these things at some point"

Lincoln sat dumbstruck as his nephew turned his attention to his phone. He couldn't believe Barry didn't want to go trick-or-treating any more. No more costumes, no more free candy, no more uncle-nephew bonding... Sure he could start doing a movie night instead, but he couldn't stand those gory horror flicks, and Barry would rather want to be with friends instead of him... Lincoln just wasn't ready to give up up Halloween. His prudish parents never let him celebrate as a kid as they believed it to be a wicked holiday. Plus it was the only time he and Barry really had the chance to bond together in the year. If only he could get one more year out of it...

Perfect Gift

Arguing Brothers

Vignettes: Easter Egg Hunt

The time had come, the doors opened, and families eagerly entered the small, antique store to participate in the Easter egg hunt. It had existed on this road for generations, yet few people knew it previously existed let alone entered its doors. Nobody could imagine they would enter into a beautiful, awe-inspiring garden that extended well past the confines of the store's actual floor plan. You could easily forget you were inside a building at all, with the towering trees and natural sunlight flooding the area, until you stumbled across a brick wall slathered with vines.

Hidden throughout the exotic, extravagant foliage were plenty of small and colourful eggs, the goal of the event. They were everywhere. Chocolate eggs, plastic eggs filled with jelly beans, even a few boiled eggs for comedic effect. There were also some special golden eggs dotted throughout the large room. These glamorous eggs had attached instructions to find The Apprentice, the burly shop assistant whose festive bunny ears did little to soften his natural surly expression, who would help unlock its prize. Excited participants seeked down the man, and handed him their eggs.

"These are very special, magic objects that contain whatever you desire" he dully recited with a memorised speech. "Chocolate bunnies, candy eggs, turkish delight, whatever you want, anything at all, you will receive it". Most people picked out their favourite brand of candy, some even tried asking for something more obscure to see what would happen. The Apprentice would crack open the egg and poof! Whatever they asked for appeared in his palm in a puff of smoke.

However, a few people noticed the loophole in this trick. The wishing eggs could grant anything you desire. And anyone who spotted it received a rare smile from The Apprentice, because this meant he could have some fun. Wishes were one of the easiest forms of magic to master after all, and also the easiest to manipulate. This gave him the chance to put his skills to the test, and maybe have a bit of fun with the few who wanted more than just chocolate this Easter.

Blind Date

Fresh Start

Tattoo Transfer

Popular Brother 2

Popular Brother

Morning Routine

Room Upgrade

Important Meeting 2

Important Meeting