Family Discounts

While I do enjoy being the apprentice to an all powerful sorcerer and working in his Magic Curiosities Emporium, there are a few problems. For one, I'm in a constant state of work and education. If I'm not manning the store and helping customers, I'm being taught the how-tos and what-nots of the magical trade. Every moment is an opportunity to learn according to my master. It can also be a lonely life as everyone I used to know in my previous life has forgotten of my existence, and constantly being under the watchful eye of my master made it difficult to meet other people. 

Then there's that code of impartiality I'm magically bound to. It's mainly because some real shady shit happens within the confines of this shop, and it's bad business to interfere no matter how immoral or unethical it may be. I can offer advice or even warn of potential doom, but that's as far as I can go. If someone wants a potion that Medusas their neighbour, or enchanted gloves that Elsas the town then that's their prerogative, we need to earn money somehow. And when those problems collide? Ho boy. There are times I've struggled to keep impartial when folks from my former life enter the store. Much like how one of my former cousins lives in the plaza pond waiting for a fairy-tale obsessed woman to attempt kissing him. I did warn him beforehand but a purchase is a purchase. He was a bit of a misogynistic jerk, so I can't feel too bad about his froggening... 

So today, I was in for a shock. A short, stocky man entered the store with his teenaged son in tow. I almost ignored them until I heard the kid whine about missing the sales at Game Hut. I froze in place and stuck my head around the corner. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was Wilbur! In my former life, he was one of my closest friends. We would hang out all the time watching movies, playing video games, pulling pranks. Now I was closer to his dad's age which made those heydays feel a little weird. It had been over two years since I last saw my pal, and he looked almost exactly the same. He still even had that dorky fringe cut. Meanwhile, I was a good 30 years older and more than a hundred pounds heavier...

I had to physically restrain myself from greeting Wilbur with a hug, and tucked myself away in the hopes I wouldn't be spotted. It wasn't like either of them would recognise me. Even without the age-up, my master had performed an intricate reality shift to remove any traces of my former existence from the world. But I still knew them, and it's always so awkward having to pretend that I don't.

Eventually, Wilbur's dad spotted me as he marched away from the clearance rack and towards the shop counter. He had a determined look on his face which worried me. What exactly had they come searching for? With the sales going on, there was a lot that could go awry. I couldn't go against my impartiality vow but this was The Wilburnator! My dearest friend! I had to tread carefully, and maybe throw them on a different path that could benefit them in other ways...

Wilbur's dad approached me and asked "Do you have anything in this here sale to guarantee success? I'm starting a new job at the end of the month, and ol' Willy boy here's gearing up for college applications." 

"Dad!" Wilbur groaned, hiding his face in his hands at the embarrassing nickname. "There's like a whole year until I can even apply to college..."

"Well that's a whole year for that success to build up! It's only going to be symbolic anyway, it's not like anything in here is really magical!"

I smiled politely at his words, not wanting to jump the gun just yet. He'd soon find out how real magic can be. I was more focused on Wilbur's words. I knew that his dad always nagged him about his education, clearly projecting his own failure to finish college. I also knew that Wilbur thought college was a waste of time and money when he could go straight into work after high school. This clash of desires could lead to trouble in the near future and while I couldn't interfere, it couldn't hurt to stretch the truth a little... 

I stroked my moustache in faux thought and said "There aren't any success charms in the sale, no. We do have a nice dreamcatcher for $500. Hang it above your bed and it should make your dreams of success come to fruition, among other things." There really wasn't anything in the sale, but there were cheaper paths to success available. Not that they needed to know that...

Wilbur's dad frowned. "You're sure there's nothing? What about these discounts?" He pointed to a pair of small signs I'd set up on the counter in the hopes of such a question. I didn't expect it from these two, however.

"50% off? 2 for 1 offer?" Wilbur read aloud with a snort of laughter. "Aren't they the same thing?"

It was a long shot but it's not the first time I've used mischief to interfere. I mean, it's not really interfering if they ask for a demonstration, right? Loophole, baby! "You'd think so, but they're very different," I said in my sales pitch voice. "You see, the 50% sale offers half off while the 2 for 1 offers double the amount for the usual price. Because of that, 50% is for the adults, 2 for 1 is for the littluns, like yourself". I placed a hand on Wilbur's shoulder, who flinched at the touch and immediately shook my hand away with a scowl. He always did have a short fuse when it came to his height. I smiled fondly at the thought, a smile that made Wilbur blush and turn his head away from me. I could sense something more than just a short temper.

Before I could think further, his dad interjected "Well what's on offer in this 50% sale? Is it across the store or on specific items? It's a little vague..."

"Well it's 50% off, of course! But why tell when I can just show you?" I rubbed my hands together and mumbled a little incantation under my breath, then grabbed onto the man's arm. A small electrical jolt flew through his body and he jumped away in shock.

"What the hell was that?" he cried in surprise, rubbing at his arm where it still tingled from my grip. His eyes widened and he jerked his hand back as he felt his bicep pulsate.

"Dad..." Wilbur pointed at his father as belly quivered underneath his shirt and appeared to shrink in size.

The two of them could only watch as his once tight shirt grew looser and looser, his round belly deflating like a sad balloon. As it hung loose across his stomach, it began to grow tighter around his upper body. His non-existent pecs were now flourishing with rapid speed, spreading his chest out further and further. His arms didn't miss a beat as they too pumped up with taut muscle, his sleeves riding up to his shoulders and threatening to rip in half. With a small yelp, his brawny arms suddenly snapped down to his hips. He grabbed a hold of his slack pants, which had started to slide down his thighs. He scrambled for his belt and yanked it tighter, but even at the last hole, his pants struggled to stay up. As if sensing that, his ass bulged outwards into a beautiful bubble butt that just about kept him from exposing himself.

Unbeknownst to him, he wasn't just changing in body type but in age. Wilbur couldn't help but stare slack jawed as his dad slipped backwards through time. His double chin melted away to reveal a strong and handsome jawline. His limp hair was revitalised as the dull grays at his temples regained their brown roots. His hair lengthened, changing from close cropped to a shaggy length that immediately stood up with wax and a healthy volume. His skin tightened and glowed, the dark circles under his eyes and faint lines at his forehead vanishing as his skin regained its youthful suppleness.

Within minutes, the middle aged father of one had become almost as young as his own son. He rubbed his hands over his buff, youthful body, clearly lost for words. Finally, he crossed his arms and demanded in a smooth and clear voice, "What the fuck did you do to me!?"

"Well I showed you what the 50% special was, just like you asked." I grinned as the refreshed man gave me a confused stare. "You see, I made you half your original age. The 50% special. Which means you're now..." I wave my hand slightly to get him to fill the gap.

There was a moment's pause as the man calculated it in his head before he gasped and muttered "Holy shit, I'm 19 again..."

"You're 19!?" Wilbur cried out. He had livened up a lot now that things had gotten more interesting. He seemed more excited than frightened to have experienced a literal transformation. That definitely boded well for me later on... Wilbur sized up next to his youthened father and shook his head. "There's no way you're 19, you're so jacked now!"

"Well, I'm 39. Or I was... I suppose 19 and a half is more accurate if I'm really half my age... But I can't be, this has to be a trick or something..."

"It's magic, dad. It's honest to God real magic!" Wilbur said with a grin. He seemed more accepting of my magic touch than his father was, pacing around him with inquisitive glee. He stopped mid-stride to add, "Maybe I should start calling you Greg now that we're basically the same age."

"Don't you dare..." Greg replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I may currently look like a college jock but I'm still your dad."

"Yeah, like I'm going to call you dad in public now!" Wilbur reached across to poke Greg in his missing stomach, making him recoil with a frown. "It's crazy, I didn't think you were ever thin... No offence."

Greg shook his head, still dazed over what had happened to him. "No, no, I had the ol' Freshman 15 back in the day, even before I dropped out and got hitched with your mother. We'd probably still be together if I looked as good as this when I really was 19..." He reluctantly allowed himself to grope at his body, feeling his round pecs and washboard abs. Lost in a trance, his hands crept lower and lower, slipping down into his baggy jeans.

"Dad!"

Finally he was brought back to reality, yanking his hands out and slapping them against his thighs with a blush. He cleared his throat. "Right... Sorry... I've just never had actual muscles before. It feels pretty good..." Finally he sighed and slumped his shoulders, knowing he had to make a difficult decision. "It's amazing and almost like a dream, but I can't be some college kid again, I have a job and a family and a mortgage. I can't abandon all of that for some twisted fantasy. You have to fix this!"

I nodded my head in agreement. "You're right, someone has to take responsibility." Greg stuck out a sinewy arm, expecting me to reverse his change. Except, I turned to my left and nodded at Wilbur. "What do you think, kiddo? What's your take on things?"

Wilbur frowned and whined "I'm not a kid, I'm sixteen!"

I chuckled at his immaturity. "When you're my age, anyone not old enough to drink is automatically a kid." I turned to Greg and said "You can back me up on that, right kid?"

"Back you up? You're supposed to be fixing things!"

I waved my hand dismissively. "I'm working on it! So Wilbur. What's on your mind?"

Wilbur blushed at the sound of his name and the attention I was giving him. He shuffled his feet and answered, "I'm thrilled to see that magic really exists and excited to see more of it, I guess?"

"Well yeah, but you just watched your dad change into a younger, buffer, presumably better version of himself! There must be more to it than that."

"It was surprising, that's for sure. And hard to watch... I suppose I'm a little peeved that dad got to really experience magic and I didn't. And I'm a little envious that he looks like that when he's only three years older than me! I can't help that I'm a late bloomer, but everyone and everything reminds me that I am..."

"Yeah, you're a bit of a runt aren't you?" 

Wilbur frowned and growled, but his eyes betrayed his real desire. Before I could even suggest it, Wilbur snapped his fingers and said, "Hang on. The 50% special makes you younger, so the 2 for 1 special should do the opposite, right?"

I grinned and tapped my nose. "A little something like that. Since your dad got to try one offer, how's about I treat you to the other one?"

Wilbur bit his lip to stop himself from agreeing outright. Instead, he said "I don't know... Shouldn't my dad use it? He needs it more than I do."

"Exactly!" Greg butted in, but I ignored him much to his frustration.

"He really wouldn't appreciate my 2 for 1 offer, trust me. But you? I just know you'll love every second of it. Because deep down, I know you long to be taken more seriously, seen as a mature and responsible adult instead of a whiny brat. This is your chance!"

Wilbur glanced over to Greg then back to me. He closed his eyes, exhaled, and finally nodded his head. "I guess it couldn't hurt to try..."

I smirked a little. I knew it wouldn't take much to convince him. It was time to work my magic and provide a little help the Apprentice way. "After this, I doubt anyone will mistake you for a kid again." Before he could question what I meant, I grabbed one of Wilbur's arms and muttered another incantation. A powerful amount of energy drained out of his body and into my palms. I rubbed them together and shook it into the air as he stumbled back into his Greg's arms.

Wilbur gasped as he felt the magic surge through his body. His torso stretched longer and his legs spooled outwards like taffy. The sudden growth spurt sent Wilbur stumbling as his centre of gravity was thrown out of whack. He would have fallen into a display of gemstone jewellery if Greg hadn't caught him in time, who then threw a nasty side glance in my direction. He didn't appear too happy that I'd targeted his son instead of himself.

With Wilbur's sudden burst of height coming to an end at a mighty six foot three, he regained his posture and tugged down on his shirt with a blush. A futile attempt, however, as it now resembled more of a crop top that exposed his stomach to the world. There was a small trail of hair that slithered up the centre of his stomach which Wilbur prodded curiously. As he made contact, the slim trail rapidly flourished outwards to coat his lean belly and, based on his sudden convulsion to scratch, the rest of his body. 

There was only a moment to dwell on the fuzziness before Wilbur's entire upper body bulged outwards in a comical wave. His chest ballooned and sprouted a mighty pair of pecs that put a strain on his flimsy shirt. The motion spread his arms out wide, an expression of surprise on his face. Ropes of muscle snaked down his furry forearms and formed heavy boulders for biceps. The flow of muscle continued down his back, his traps flaring and finally causing his shirt to rip to pieces to reveal the thick hair that swirled across his large chest and curled over his shoulders. His legs were last to expand, bulking up until they looked more like tree trunks trapped under fabric.

Wilbur looked much like a furrier version of his dad. But alas, the middle age spread appeared not too soon after. His belly wobbled and shook as it bloated out from his stomach and sagged over his taut pants. With a shake of the head, a shower of follicles scattered down to the floor and clung to his face to form a short, prickly beard. He reached up and patted his head in disbelief, feeling the cool breeze and denuded scalp. He brought a hand down to his bearded face, the tug and pull of his fingers etching crows feet, worry lines, and wrinkles into his increasingly rugged skin. A sprinkle of white hairs in his chest hair signalled an end to things. The once scrawny teen was now a large and powerful middle aged man a little older than myself.

Now fully reenergised, Wilbur stood tall and proud, far different to how he once was. "Woah, everything's so much lower down now..." He rubbed his hands through the thick hair that coated his chest, dragging them up to his shoulders and wincing as he tugged on the tufts. "Oh man, that's really real..." he mumbled. He looked back towards me and asked "Is there a mirror around?"

"Over there," I replied, pointing to the nearest corner. "The one with the wooden frame. I'd advise against looking in the metal one."

Wilbur gave me a thumbs up and sauntered to the mirror. A moment passed before a deep, gritty yell echoed around the shop. "HOLY SHIT!!"

I chuckled and shook my head. I'll never tire of people reacting to their transformed selves. But a growl of irritation snapped my attention back to Greg, who jabbed an accusing finger into my face. "You were supposed to turn me back to normal, why the hell did you use my son instead? He looks even older than I am now! I mean, was... I mean both!"

"Well I offered him the 2 for 1 special. Instead of merely doubling in age, the lucky man got an additional year for every year aged. 2 for the price of 1."

"Lucky!?" Greg seethed, his nostrils flaring in anger. "He's a middle aged brute! He doesn't even look like part of our family any more..."

"I gave him some added characteristics, like how I made you muscly and cute. It's part of the package."

"Fuck the package, you've ruined his life! He was supposed to go to college, get a good job, marry and have kids. But you've stolen three decades of his life, years he'll never get to experience... You can't expect us to live like this, change us back!"

"Ooooo, I'm sorry," I said in faux disappointment, "but since it was a special offer for the sales and all, I can't offer a refund. All sales are final, unfortunately."

"I don't want a refund, I want justice! You better fix things or... Or I'll..."

"Calm down Greg, you don't want to upset a wizard." Greg spun around to see Wilbur leaning against the counter with a smile. He absent-mindedly swirled a hand around his belly, feeling the solid muscle-gut and the fur that covered it.

"I told you not to call me that! I'm your dad. I'm still your dad, even if I'm young and you're old and-"

"Shhhh! You need to lose the attitude." Wilbur stepped forward and quickly reached around Greg, pulling him into a massive bear hug. Wilbur rested his bearded chin on his dad's shoulder, while Greg squirmed within his son's furry grip. He tried to break free, but Wilbur only squeezed tighter. Greg may have been the younger and buffer of the two, but Wilbur had the size and strength advantage. He stroked Greg's waxed hair and shushed some more, his soothing voice loaded with grit. "Come on, he was only trying to help. There's not much we can do now, and maybe it's for the better."

"Are you KIDDING me??" Greg finally snapped free of the bear's grasp and scoffs. "How can you think that this is a good situation? I'm a muscle-bound freak and you're a furry beast! We're unrecognisable compared to who we were, how do we even begin to explain this to anyone?"

Wilbur shrugged his shoulders. "We're in a magic shop, there's bound to be something that'd help us." I grunted and nodded in affirmation. You'd be surprised how easy it is to change a collective memory, I could do it in my sleep. But Greg didn't seem convinced. Wilbur sighed and shook his head. "Why are you being so stubborn? You're in the best shape of your life, and you get the chance to relive your college years. You always said you wanted to go back to college and now's your chance! And I'm in better shape and health at 48 than you ever were when you were 39. There's no way I would have looked anything like this if I grew up the normal way. So I'm a little bit older than you were, that doesn't bother me. Age is only a number, after all."

"Do you hear yourself? You're actually trying to justify this mess! That bastard stole the best years of your life and you're not even upset! You were supposed to go to college and do the things that I couldn't."

"And now you can do those things. I don't know why you're being so stubborn! This way, you can live your dream and stop forcing me to do it for you!" There was a stunned silence as Wilbur realised he'd finally confessed while Greg stared on in shock. Wilbur clenched his fists tight and took a deep breath. "I don't want to go to college, alright? I never have. It's always what you wanted. You've done nothing but complain about how you hate your job and wish you'd completed college and got a proper job, but that's not what I want. I want to work with my hands, not my head, you know? What you see as stolen time, I see as an opportunity to live how I see fit."

"But... That's ridiculous, you can't... There's more to it then..." Greg turned to me and said "You, you're about his age. Tell him why he's wrong!"

"I don't know, I think he has a point." I swung my arm around Greg's neck, gently resting my hand on his chest. I lower my voice and gently say "Are you sure I can't persuade you? This is a good thing".

My hand grew a little warmer on his chest as he mumbled "A good thing..." before he released himself from my grip and said "Maybe you're right, this could be a good thing... I could go back to college and pursue a career in archaeology like I've always wanted. And Wilbur could start my new job at the refinery so I don't have to."

"Exactly!" Wilbur cried, pulling Greg into another bear hug that lifted him off his feet. "You finally get it, this is a new start for the both of us!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Greg wheezed as he squirmed free as best as he could. "I'm not happy about any of this, but it could be nice to have a fresh start. And I guess if you're happy to stay the way you are, I can't force you into anything..." He patted Wilbur on the shoulder before frowning once more. "But could you please put on some clothes? And maybe invest in a good waxing. No man should ever be this hairy..."

Wilbur frowned and scratched at his chest self-consciously. I stepped up and said "Not to worry, I have some non-magical clothing in the back for situations like this." I led Wilbur to the nearby storage room, piled high with unsold artefacts and storage crates filled with clothes. Wilbur hesitated, looking back to Greg who nodded his head in approval, before following me and closing the door behind him. 

I was already digging through a crate of men's clothing and had started a pile of acceptable outfits. Wilbur bent down and picked up a shirt, giving it a questionable sniff before throwing it aside. Before picking up another shirt, he casually said "I saw you use some weird mumbo jumbo hypnosis on my dad."

I chuckled under my breath. "Yeah, sometimes people need a little push to get into that mindset of acceptance." The persuasive touch and soothe was a little trick I made up to gently nudge naysayers into a more positive state of mind. I usually use it in an attempt to convince people to choose one product over another. But it works in just about any situation. I tossed over a large pair of pants that Wilbur immediately picked up and attempted to squeeze into, adding "I was surprised at how quickly you came to accept your new situation yourself"

Wilbur nodded his head and blushed a little, difficult to see underneath his new facial hair. "I guess... It sounds silly saying it out loud but I suppose I've always wanted to be bigger? All my life, I was the smallest kid in the class, the wimpy shrimp that nobody took seriously. I always dreamt of growing up into a big, beefy man one day. And then you made it happen! It still doesn't feel real..."

"Well I'm happy to help. It's not often I have such a happy customer on my hands."

Wilbur cackled as he yanked a pastel polo shirt down over his lifter's belly. "Given how my dad reacted to things, I'm not surprised!" He popped opened the buttons and spread the collar out to better show off his chest hair, giving it a little fluff with a free hand.

"You're different. Most guys consider growing up to be middle aged, hairy, and stocky to be the consequences of a misguided wish. Something undesirable."

"Not me. It's like the opposite of my family genes. I could only dream of being so hairy and strong. Now look at me! I could have done without the baldness, but you take what you get." He smiled as he rubbed his bald head fondly. "Then again, I could get used to it. Nobody in my family looks the way I do now. It's almost like you tapped into my subconscious and gave me my dream body. Almost like you really know me."

I chuckled and smiled. If only he knew the truth. "Well it's more like I tapped into my own desires and gave you some features that I personally enjoy in a man. I suppose great minds think alike."

Slipping on his last shoe, Wilbur popped up to his feet a fully dressed man. "I suppose so," he said with in a soft voice. He rubbed a hand over his nude scalp once more and smiled awkwardly. "I guess this is it then. Time to go out and be a man! I really can't thank you enough for the things you done."

"Oh, there's no need for thanks! Payment would be nice, however." 

He chuckled heartily, his belly shaking from the motion. "I suppose Greg will have you covered there! But maybe I could take you out for dinner sometime?" He immediately blushed and stammered "Not like a date, I mean! Just to treat you for all you've done. Unless you want to call it a date? I don't want to pressure you, we're just-"

"Here," I interrupted before Wilbur sank further into a cringe cycle. I pulled a business card out of my breast pocket and handed it over. "Just give me a call and we'll figure something out. Date, not a date, I would love to meet up and chat outside of work."

"Thanks... You're a pretty cool guy."

"So are you, Wilburnator." He snorted at my former nickname for him but didn't correct me. "There's a bond between us, perhaps we have more in common than initially thought."

"Maybe so... Uhm... Wait, I didn't even get your name."

"Well, there's always next time," I reply with a wink. He smiled and nodded in understanding, then softly waved his hand goodbye as he left the storage room and closed the door behind him. 

As I gathered up the discarded clothes, I felt my heart swell in my chest. I had to give up the bonds to my old life back when I became an apprentice and finally, I had a chance to rekindle something I thought would be lost forever. Not only was Wilbur back in my life but we were similar ages again. We could be best pals again. Hell, we could even explore new paths and journeys in our relationship that we couldn't as teenagers. Sometimes, going off the book can lead to the greatest of adventures.