Morning Pranks

It was the morning following a very successful sleepover for Jackson and Bart. They'd stayed up watching scary movies with lots of snacks, and very little adult supervision. For the most part, his embarrassing dad had kept to himself for the evening. And now, the following morning, the two boys were battling each other in the newest Boulevard Brawler game. Things were going well until Bart finally piped up.

"Your dad's acting weird today."

His dad was always weird, Jackson thought to himself. But it was true, he'd been even weirder this morning. It all started when Bart woke him up from a blissful sleep, having crept out of the room to use the bathroom, only to find it occupied. Inside, his dad was in his undies, staring at himself in the mirror and flexing at himself. He even grabbed his phone so he could take some selfies, until he finally noticed the two boys giggling uncontrollably in the doorway. 

That wasn't too weird, his dad was pretty egotistical about his huge size, and masculine appearance. He worked out most days, when he wasn't on the construction site putting those muscles to good use. He even had beard paraphernalia around the house because he was obsessed with his bushy facial fur. But Jackson had never actually seen him acting so narcissistic. Maybe this is what he was like behind closed doors. And that was just the start of it.

Throughout the morning, his dad was acting inept, to put it lightly. He couldn't figure out how to work the coffee machine he so adored. Then he loaded his coffee up with so much milk and sugar, when he usually drank it black. He almost caught the kitchen on fire trying to cook up pancakes, which wasn't his usual breakfast of choice. In the end, Jackson had to take over himself, making up some half-decent scrambled eggs and toast.

All the while, Bart was no use. He was laughing it up, even egging his dad on at moments. He was a bit of a troublemaker himself, and loved to stir the pot. It was just embarrassing that he was doing it to his dad. He was even the one to encourage his father to turn on the radio and sing along to cheesy rock ballads from the eighties. The cringe was so much, that Jackson eventually barricaded Bart and himself in the living room, begging his dad to go and get ready for the day so that they could have some time away from his dad's disruptions.

Then the last straw occurred. Jackson heard the heavy footsteps of his dad stumble haphazardly down the stairs, and his bulky body crashed into the room. "Hey, look what I found buried in the closet!" He boldly declared, stepping into the room with a dainty twirl. Jackson almost cried tears of cringe as his eyes laid upon his dad's gauche outfit; a sparkling silver suit straight from Saturday Night Fever, and a white shirt that was spread open to show off his hard-earned brawny torso and boulderous, hairy pecs. "Your mom and I used to go to throwback roller-disco parties every month. Man, those were some fun times. I wonder if I still have the skates..."

"Holy sheesh, dad!" Jackson screeched, his face red with embarrassment. Meanwhile, Bart couldn't hold in his own laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Why are you wearing that!?"

"Well, I wanted to put something cool on, and disco was the coolest thing back in the day."

"Nooo, disco was never cool!"

"Of course it was," His dad replied with a grin while pulling some cheesy dad moves much to his son's chagrin. Bart was cackling and eating the display up, even throwing in a few moves of his own before Jackson whacked an arm into him. Disco Dad spun on the spot, and threw a point to his son, adding, "By the way, I'm heading out to get some groceries. You boys need anything?"

"No thanks, Mister Dale."

"Woah, you can't go out in public like that," Jackson growled. "What if someone from school sees you? They know you're my dad! Take it off!"

"Well, I think people will be less happy to see me without any clothes on, but if you insist..." His dad threw the sequinned jacket off in one fell swoop, and began to unbuckle his belt before Jackson finally jumped up and intervened, pulling him to one side.

"Ohmigod, dad! Why are you acting like this!? You've been behaving like a fool all morning! You're embarrassing me in front of Bart, and you're embarrassing yourself. Don't you even care? You're supposed to be the adult here, grow up!"

"You know, you don't have to be mean about it. You're hurting my feelings." The bulky man sniffed and wiped away a fake tear, before growling. "You know what? You're grounded, mister!"

"What!?"

"For being a big ol' meanie to me! Respect your elders, you're grounded for a month."

"No way! You can't-"

"Talking back, two months!"

"C'mon Bart, back me up here."

Bart leaned back in his seat, and shrugged. "I dunno man, he's making sense."

"Trying to coerce your friend. Three months! And Bart gets a week for conspiring with you."

"That's fair."

"What? No it's not! What has gotten into you two?" Jackson fell back into his chair, cupping his face in his hand with a loud groan. "This is a nightmare..."

Finally, the big, hirsute man began to convulse as he burst into a loud, boistrous cackle that vibrated around the room. "Oh man!" He wheezed through his uncontrollable laughter. "I can't keep this up anymore! Oh no, it's too much." He shook his body out, his mighty pecs bouncing about as he tried to get the laughter out, then knelt down to Jackson's level and yelled, "APRIL FOOLS! I'm not your dad!"

"What?"

"I'm not your dad! It's all a big prank! I'm pretending to be your dad, but it's really me. Bart!"

Jackson looked into his dad's beaming, bearded face, utterly confused. "What are you talking about? Bart's literally here." His friend held up a hand in recognition.

"No, that's not me. That's really your dad! He snuck in and woke me up early this morning, and asked if we could pull off pretending to be the other. To prank you! Because it's April Fool's Day, and you know I love pranks. He used this ray gun thingy to literally body swap us, like in the movies!"

The brawny man waited for Jackson to respond, maybe with a 'you got me,' or a 'you really fooled me!'. But instead, the kid frowned. "You're scaring me, dad. All these weird antics, and the mood swings, and now this freaky friday schtick? If it's all been a joke, it's not funny..."

"No, I'm telling the truth," he declared before standing back up, and nodding towards the supposedly fake Bart. "C'mon, back me up here."

"Hey, I'm only here to get away from my own home." He looked down at his phone and added, "Speaking of which, I gotta bail. The 'rents are wondering why I'm not back yet."

"Wait, no! You can't leave! Tell Jackson that I'm Bart and you're his dad!"

The kid merely shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno what to tell you, man. Maybe you're going senile? But I gotta jet." He waved and headed for the hallway, but the dad followed. Jackson, meanwhile, decided to keep out of it. He'd had enough weirdness for one day.

Before the kid could head out the front door, he felt a large hand grasp his shoulder and pull him back into the house. He spun around, not even trying to hide the snide grin and obnoxious snicker as he looked the angry man in the eyes. "You think this is funny?" Bart declared in his gruff voice. Why didn't you tell him!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mister Dale. I'm just a little boy with a mischievous streak."

"Knock it off! You used your techy doo-hickey to swap us. It's literally there on the table!"

"Oh, this thing?" The brat picked it up and examined it. "It's a toy that lights up, watch." He pulled the trigger and a beam of orange light shone out the end, affecting nothing. "Maybe it could have had the potential to switch the minds of two individuals at one point; A single-use gadget as it were. But now it's a useless toy gun. Funny, isn't it?"

"Wait a minute, you tricked me..." Bart gasped. "You didn't want to prank Jackson, you just wanted to use me to turn into a kid again!"

"I didn't do anything of the sort, Mr. Dale. Because I've always been a kid, and you've always been Jackie's daddy. It's not like you can prove otherwise." He dumped the gun back on the table and looked at his bare wrist. "Oh, would you look at the time. I should really be heading back home before my parents worry any more. You know how they can be. So protective of their precious little boy."

"Now hold on, you can't just walk out like that! I don't know how to be an adult. I almost burned the house down making breakfast!"

"You're a smart lad, I'm sure you'll figure it out, Mister Dale. You've got the maturity and experience, after all. Stop thinking of yourself as a boy, and grow up." The boy jumped down onto the pavement outside, and turned back. "Get a good rest tonight. You have to get to work early tomorrow morning. Your boss likes you to be on the site at the crack of dawn. And remember, lift with your legs, not your back!"

Bart stood at the door, dumbfounded as he watched the boy walk away with a spring in his step, his anger brimming over until he yelled out. "Yeah, well the joke's on you! I like building stuff! Construction work's a breeze compared to stupid, dumb, boring school! And I like having big muscles, and being hairy, and being bald! So there! Go be a stupid kid again, 'cause I want to be an adult!" He slammed the door and crossed his arms, pouting. "Stupid Al, and his stupid ray gun. Leaving me a stupid dad to my stupid friend. in this stupid grown-up body. I miss my hair..."

He sighed, and leant back against the door, grumbling under his breath. That is, until he heard a cough. He looked up and saw Jackson staring at him from down the hallway. Immediately, he straightened his back, and ran a hand across his bushy beard. "Oh, Jackson! Your friend left without even saying a proper goodbye. What a lousy kid he is."

"Right... Well, I heard you shouting a lot, and then you slammed the door. Something about being bald and stupid."

"Well, that's me to a T. Bald, and stupid." Bart stomped back into the living room and collapsed on the sofa.

 "You've been having these mood-swings all day. Prank or not, it's really worrying..."

He looked down on his friend, and sighed. "Don't worry, it's been a weird morning for all of us. It would've been less weirder if Al stuck to the plan, but whatever. I suppose we can't win them all."

"Bart." He pointed out. "Your name is Al, not his."

"Yeah, right. Of course. I guess I'm Albert now. Good ol' Al... See what I mean? Weird." Bart pulled himself to his feet with a low grunt, and clapped his hands together. "Okay, April Fool's is officially over. Let's put this all behind us, and you can come with me to the grocery store because we need more eggs, milk, and flour."

As he reached his hand out toward the sparkling disco jacket he'd discarded earlier, Jackson's tiny hand grabbed it first. "Nuh-uh, put something normal on!"

Bart grumbled as his new son ran off with his suit. "I'm supposed to be the grown-up here, I should be telling you what to do, not the other way around!