Into The Convention

 So in an unusual turn of events, I'm throwing out a spoiler warning. If you haven't seen Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, then I suggest you do so before reading this. Otherwise, enjoy!

It was a bright weekend morning at the World Plaza Hotel, and the lobby was buzzing with activity. The annual comic convention had come to town, bringing hundreds of cosplaying fanatics to the hotel. The conference halls were packed and everyone was ready for a good time. Everyone except Andy. He stared out of his hotel room window, too high to even make out what was happening down below, and sighed.

The only reason he came on this trip was the convention. When he found our his dad was staying at the hotel for a business trip on the same weekend, Andy pleaded to tag along for the ride. His dad eventually broke down, but there was a catch. Since the trip was strictly for work purposes, they could only visit the convention in the afternoon. Andy reluctantly obliged but in hindsight, he may as well have stayed home given how he couldn’t even leave the room by himself.

At least he still could watch his favourite movie as much as he wanted. He was already on his third rewatch that day. But it was so good, he couldn't bring himself to watch anything else. Plus, it helped hype him up for his first convention. He jumped back on his bed and grinned as an animated Spider-Man appeared on screen. Andy was the biggest Spider-Man fan, maybe ever. He'd seen every movie, every cartoon series, and read some of the old comics that they kept in the library. He even dreamed of Spider-Man every night. His favourite? Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, obviously. It had not one Spider-Man, but multiple Spider-People! He had almost memorised the script to heart. Yet not even the thrill and hilarity of Miles Morales discovering his new powers could quieten his mind.

Andy looked to his suitcase, where his very own Spider-Man costume lay waiting, his thoughts turning to the previous day. He peeked into one of the conference halls while his dad checked into the hotel, and they were still setting everything up. As he walked away in disappointment, he accidentally bumped into an old man with a thick moustache and sent several boxes crashing to the floor. Of course, he offered to help clean up the mess as any do-gooder would do. He was tickled to learn that the old man was a costume vendor who dabbled in comic and movie accurate outfits. Andy was desperate to see what Spider-Man costumes he had, but his dad interrupted them before he could ask. The old man handed him a business card before scurrying back into the conference room. Andy shoved it into his pocket without even a glance. 

The movie had reached the end of its first act, and Andy was tearing up. No matter how many times he saw it, the moment where Spider-Man sacrificed himself to save Miles always packed a heavy punch. The city had come to a halt to hold a memorial service for Peter Parker, and Miles was preparing to purchase a costume in remembrance. Andy wiped away his tears and shuffled closer to the screen as Miles approached the counter. The shop owner looked mighty familiar. Any Marvel fan worth their weight would recognise the moustachioed old man, but Andy had someone else in mind... He dug into his pockets and pulled out the card he was given. It was solid black with gold lettering. 

JK/SL COSTUMING - THE COSTUME OF YOUR DREAMS

Andy chuckled softly as he wiped a thumb over the embossed words. His dream was to be like Spider-Man, but that was never going to happen. Radioactive spiders weren't real, let alone super powers. He'd done enough research online to know that much. He dropped the card on the floor and looked back up to the screen. He didn't notice as the card shimmered in the window light beam.

Miles had joined the crowd, hundreds of people were wearing Spider-Man costumes as the mayor led the town in remembrance. Andy whispered the speech to himself, his stomach fluttering at the thought that anyone could be Spider-Man. As Miles took that to heart, the fluttering continued. Andy placed a hand on his stomach, groaning at the unusual sensation. He felt like he needed to throw up. He rubbed his belly in the hopes that it would pass. He couldn’t be sick before the convention! He laid back on the bed and groaned some more. A wave of growing pains erupted through his body, making him sweat and grit his teeth. This wasn’t your everyday pangs, something was happening to him.

With a bit of a struggle, Andy crawled off of the bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. He winced as his clothes constricted his movement, having somehow tightened against his body. Small rips damaged them with every step. He burst through the door and reached out for the sink. His fingers flexed against the cold porcelain as they cracked and expanded. A fiery heat spread through his chest, like his muscles were burning up. Assured that he wasn't going to throw up, and finding the pain to be at least bearable, Andy relaxed. It would eventually pass, and he could still go to the convention. He lifted his head up, gazing up towards the mirror above the sink, and froze. There was someone else in the bathroom with him.  It wasn't until he looked around that he realised the truth. He cried out in shock, he didn't look unwell, he looked like a different person entirely!

Amazed at the freaky changes going on, Andy patted at his body through the exposed gaps in his tattered clothing. He rubbed his face in surprise, feeling its unfamiliar terrain with brown stained hair and a long jaw. He couldn't even call himself a kid any more, he was more of a teenager in the throes of puberty. He flinched as his supple fingers encountered unfamiliar bone structure. Something was oddly familiar about his appearance but he couldn't quite place it... As more of his blonde hair was stained brown, and his body took on a lanky yet toned physique, he thought he was going crazy. He almost looked like...It was impossible...But maybe, just maybe, his wish had come true?

He looked just like Spider-Man! Andy whooped out loud. He didn't know how it happened, but he was ecstatic. Why wouldn’t he be excited, he was Spider-Man! The one person he had looked up to his whole life. He had the messy brown hair, and slender, buff bod that looked heroic in a spandex suit, while also easy to hide beneath the clothes of a nerdy persona. The perfect secret identity. He could barely contain his excitement, he just wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

That was, until he noticed a peculiar stain on the tip of his pointed chin. He rubbed at it, frowning at the gritty texture that didn't disappear. If anything, it only seemed to grow in size. Looking around, Andy found some toilet paper and prepared to wipe it off. But when he returned to face the mirror, his smile vanished. The brown stain had rapidly spread outwards to coat his cheeks and neck with the unmistakable roughness of stubble. Andy stuttered, confused. He had a five-o-clock shadow. Why did he have facial hair, Spider-Man didn't have facial hair. He was only a teenager, and a baby-faced one at that. If anything, he should have a crackling voice and acne instead of perma-stubble fit for a detective. 

As Andy rubbed at his sandpaper cheeks, it was becoming ever clearer that Teen Spidey was merely a rest stop with every passing moment. His slim stature grew bulkier, his jawline jutted out sharper. The bulge in his underwear grew thicker, tightening his pants and threatening to burst free at any second. He looked more like a college student, and the changes showed no signs of stopping. Andy groaned and paced the bathroom in a panic. Spider-Man was a teenager, so he should have stopped growing as a teenager. He paused mid-stride as the realisation punched him in the gut. Spider-Man was a teenager in the live-action movies, but in the comics? He was a grown man with a proper job and adult problems. Not to mention his favourite movie playing in the other room had multiple adult Peter Parkers, old enough to be dads. There were even some comics where Peter Parker really was a dad. But he didn't want to be a grown up Spider-Man, he wanted to be the youthful, hero-in-training Spider-Man!

He looked back in the mirror to see things had gotten worse. He had grown a sizable patch of hair across the centre of his chest, alongside a wide trail of hair down the middle of his brawny stomach. He had gotten soft, and his muscular physique was beginning to fade. As if on cue, his belly suddenly pushed outwards, jiggling as he packed on the pounds. The sudden increase in stoutness was the final straw for his shirt as it split down the middle, the tattered remains scattering to the floor. Andy felt as torn to pieces as his clothes. He was hyperventilating, trying to rationalise things. But it made no sense, Spider-Man wasn't fat! Spider-Man wasn't old, and he wasn't fat! How could his wish fulfilment have gone so wrong!? He stared as flecks of grey stained his scruffy stubble and sprinkled throughout his messy hair. He rubbed his bloated stomach and pushed his fingers into the pudgy exterior. Underneath, he could still feel those muscles he was so proud of only minutes ago. They were buried deep beneath the flab, no longer a marvel to see. As he pressed into his stomach, he suddenly felt a rising pressure in his throat. With an incredible belch, that funny feeling passed and the changes came to an end.

Andy rubbed his unshaven cheeks and flabby dad-bod, tears in his eyes. This wasn't what he wanted at all! He wanted to be Spider-Man, not some washed up, dishevelled grown up! He wiped away his tears, hoping everything was a dream, until he felt a chill down his spine. There was something unsettlingly familiar about his appearance. Almost as if… He ran back into the bedroom and stopped in front of the TV. Miles Morales was sitting in a diner, watching a scruffy man in an olive green coat gorge himself on a greasy burger and fries. Andy’s breath left his body, and he brought a hand up to the screen, tears blurring his vision. It was Spider-Man. He hadn't become the film friendly teenage Peter Parker, he was the washed up, divorced mess from an alternate universe, Peter B. Parker.

Andy groaned and slammed a fist into the wall. How did this happen to him? Of all the Spider-Men he could have become, it had to be the sloppy loser. He shook his body out, trying to rid the bad thoughts. Maybe there was a silver lining. At least he hadn't become the pig. Now that would have been an entirely different, bigger problem to solve. Besides, he may look a mess but he was still Spider-Man, right? With the super powers, right..?

Taking a quick glance around the room, Andy spotted a lamp. He shook out his hands then flung his wrist towards it, pressing his middle fingers against his palm. Nothing happened. He tried 'thwip'ing again to no avail. Organic web shooters weren't his thing, and he clearly didn't own mechanical ones like the other Spideys. So that didn’t prove anything. And he couldn’t think of a way to trigger any sort of Spider Sense without damaging the room, which also ruled that out.

Next power test. He pressed his fingers against the wall, then one foot. As he lifted the other, he fell back and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor. No clinging to walls... Andy pouted as he pulled himself back up, rubbing at his sore neck. Clinging to walls was Spidey’s thing, something he could do it with or without a costume. Which meant he hadn’t gained powers to match… But there had to be something he could do! In a last ditch effort, Andy leapt over to his bed and grasped the underside. He grunted as he lifted it up by an inch, only to freeze up as a sudden, sharp pain jolted through his back. He let go and wailed in pain as he collapsed on the adjacent bed, rubbing his lower back. Yet knowing he had no super strength stung just a little bit more.

Andy dug through the bedside table to find the painkillers he knew his dad kept for emergencies. Yet while his sore back slowly dulled, he was ultimately exhausted, physically and mentally. Not only did he become the worst Spider-Man, he didn't even get any powers? This was the worst! He sighed, resigned to the fact his supernatural experience had mediocre results. He curled up as best as he could with his sore back and looked to the TV. He may be having the worst day of his life but at least his favourite movie was still playing, even if the mere sight of Hobo Peter was enough to make him angry. It wasn't long before he was absorbed in the story once more.

As the movie came to a close, Andy was still sulking on the bed. He kept rubbing his stubbly cheeks, hoping the grit would fade away. Stroking his soft, hairy gut, hoping it would recede back into this stomach. However, as Miles reintroduced himself to the audience, reminding them that anyone could wear the mask of Spider-Man as he soared across the New York skyline, Andy felt a wave of inspiration. He sat up and looked towards his suitcase. Things might not have gone his way but that didn’t mean he had to give up. With a hefty grunt, he swung himself off the bed and to his feet. He could still be the superhero he’d always dreamed of, even if he was out of shape and powerless.

The only problem, he quickly discovered, was that his own Spider-Man costume was half his size. No amount of stretch could accommodate a growth spurt like his. A glint of light caught Andy’s eye. He squatted down, careful not to bruise his back any further, and picked up the glossy card he’d discarded earlier. His eyes widened, the costume man! Somehow, he knew he was to blame. Maybe if he found his stall, he could return him to normal. Or better yet, become the real Spider Man, the one who wasn’t fat and shabby! But he couldn't leave the hotel room, he promised his dad he wouldn't. Then again, he argued, his dad wouldn't be pleased to discover an almost naked man resting in the room instead of his cute, little boy.

Andy just needed some clothes. And judging by how much he had grown, he was now about the same size as his dad. A little thought that sent a tingle up his spine. But what to wear... It wasn't like his dad had come prepared for the convention. Andy went to the wardrobe and shuffled through several dress shirts until a flash of red caught his eye. He recognised that shade anywhere. With a stifled squeal, he yanked the hanger out of the wardrobe. It really was a Spider-Man shirt! Was his dad going to surprise him with a cosplay of his own? It wasn’t like he’d shown any interest before. Andy wasted no time dwelling on the odd detail, however, yanking the shirt over his head with a goofy grin. Looking in the mirror, he admired the iconic logo spread across his chest. The way his stomach bulged out and distorted the webbed pattern? Not so much… As he tugged on the shirt and sucked his stomach in, trying his best to disguise the roundness, Andy felt a strange sense of déjà vu. As if he’d gone through this scenario before. He exhaled in frustration, his stomach bloating out in defiance. He really needed to get back to a gym...

But where was the rest of the costume? Surely his dad had brought more than a single shirt. Andy continued his search but all he could find were boring dress pants that fit just a little too snug against his waist. The only other option was a pair of grey sweatpants. He held them out suspiciously. His dad wasn’t much of a laidback dresser, even his gym clothes had a touch of class. In fact, the tatty sweatpants were closer to his own sense of cosy style. They sure looked comfy to wear, and given his recently added girth, they were the only pants that could fit him. Andy still frowned as he pulled them on. They only seemed to accentuate his gut, not to mention the bulge in his underwear. He stuck a hand down his pants, his chest tightening as he felt the hairy monster between his rough hands, adjusting its position as best as he could. Yet try as he might, he couldn’t hide its prominence. He prodded at the lump, hoping it wouldn't look so obvious on the con floor. Not that anyone had complained before. He grinned at the thought, then shook his head in confusion. What did that even mean?

Andy rubbed the back of his head, his thoughts muddled. His mind felt foggy, like white noise from a radio. He deeply exhaled, trying to focus on matters at hand. He had to get to the convention, but he had a feeling he was missing something. But what? When he turned to face the door, he saw it. A long, green coat draped across the seat. Andy poked his tongue out in repulsion. He definitely knew his dad didn't own a coat like that. It looked the same pukey green as the one Hobo Peter wore in the film. He didn't want another reminder he was essentially the loser Spider-Man. But it would also complete his outfit… Without thinking, Andy grabbed the coat and swung it over his body. It felt heavy and warm against his almost skin-tight shirt, making him slow down and pause. There was something in the pockets. 

Reaching in, he pulled out a slim wallet with his initials embossed within its spider-web pattern. With trembling fingers, Andy dug through the contents with growing anxiety. Credit cards, travel passes, ID for work, all with his name. Then came the kicker, a driver’s license with his stoic, stubbly face printed upon it. But that was impossible… Without warning, infinite thoughts came crashing down on him all at once. Of a life once lived, never lived, impossibly lived. Andy gripped the sides of his head and clenched his teeth, trying to push them aside. The room turned silent, the credits had finished, the movie was over.

Andy opened his eyes, his mind clear. He rose to his feet and stared at himself in the mirror. He ran a hand through his steel-tipped hair, trying to make it suitably dishevelled. He rolled his shoulders, giving his olive coat a few tugs to better fit him. He didn't look amazing, but for a costume he'd put together at the last minute, it wasn't half bad. It didn't hurt that he had the more physical aspects down to pat, he thought as he rubbed his belly. All those lunches at the canteen weren't doing him good. A few months at the gym and a stricter diet would tackle the bulge but he didn't have to think about that right now. He was Peter B. Parker for the day. Andy glanced toward the clock and clicked his tongue. Thomas sure was taking his sweet time with this meeting. Why he even thought his brother would want to join him was a mystery. He never did develop the same interest in comics that Andy did. Thomas was the sportier of the two, even when they were kids. There was no way he’d ever want to attend a comics convention. He made that pretty clear when they agreed to share a room to cut down on costs. Andy tapped his foot impatiently. He couldn't wait any longer, the panel on the Marvel Multiverse was due to start in an hour and if he didn't get in line soon, he had no chance of getting a seat. Andy switched off the TV and made one last costume check before leaving the room. It was like they said, anyone could be Spider-Man.