Fortunes Told

"Look what I found in my pocket!" I glanced up from my phone, and watched as Jonesy produced a large cigar with a big grin. "Isn't that cool?" He chuckled, putting it up to his lips like he was smoking.

 "Hey, don't smoke it!" I cried, trying to reach up and snatch it from him. But Jonesy had the height and weight advantage, keeping me a fair distance away until I stopped thrashing. Then he poked his tongue out at me. Real mature... I grunted, "Are you even allowed to smoke here?"

"First of all, I can do whatever I want since I'm an adult. Besides, I made sure to check before we entered and, as long as we stay in this area, it's allowed."

"Why would you check for a smoking area?"

"In case I wanted to smoke!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed as Jonesy produced a lighter from another pocket. Where was he getting this stuff from... "So you've never smoked in your life, and just wanted to start because...?"

"That's just the kind of guy I am now. I don't know why you're so hung up on it. Unless..." He waggled his eyebrows from beneath his sunglasses as he leaned in closer, then whispered in my ear, "you're jealous..."

I swatted Jonesy away, and he fell into a laughing fit, almost dropping his cigar in the process. I buried my head in the menu to hide my reddening cheeks. He was right, I was jealous. Not that I was going to admit it to Jonesy's stupid, bald, wrinkly, old face. It wasn't because I wanted to smoke, that's just disgusting. It's the other thing... The fact that my baby bro was now some big, old muscle man. Not only that, but he keeps acting more like an actual adult, and I'm beginning to forget he was even my brother...

It was only an hour ago when it happened. While waiting for my mom to pick us up from the mall, Jonesy suddenly dragged me over to this flashy tent that was set up in the outdoor plaza. Inside was some dude with a hokey costume and a crystal ball, claiming he had mystical powers that could show us our futures. I didn't even know fortune-tellers existed outside of TV. He asked if either of us wanted a demonstration of his powers, for a small fee. I refused, of course. I thought it was a scam, and I couldn't wait to leave the stuffy tent. But Jonesy jumped at the opportunity and gave the guy our last ten bucks!

They sat at the table with the crystal ball, and the guy waved his hands over it, muttering some mumbo jumbo under his breath.  He asked how far into the future my bro wanted to look. Jonesy thought about it, then decided on 40 years, since it was my dad's age. The guy called it a good number, then continued with his act. I expected him to utter some vague nonsense about how Jonesy would be married with kids or working at a job he loved or something. But instead, the guy told him to place his hands on the crystal ball. When he did, a blinding light filled the room. Before any of us could even react, the light disappeared and there was now a bald, buff man sitting exactly where Jonesy used to be! 

I thought it had to be a prank, it's why Jonesy was so insistent we enter the tent. But he was barely in second grade, where would he have had the resources to even set up such a trick? It wasn't like we'd planned to visit the mall in advance. By now, the older man was feeling his muscles with a goofy grin, stroking his bristly chin, and gasping about how awesome he looked and felt under his breath. He tried to get me to feel his biceps, goading me on in the way only Jonesy could. If it was a trick, the guy was impeccable.

Of course, I tried to get the weird dude to change him back, I didn't know how I'd explain to my parents that their baby boy was now bigger and older than the both of them. But he refused, claiming he could only show someone their future and not the past. Not that Jonesy wanted to change back, it was a dream come true for him. And since he used the last of our cash, I couldn't even get my own fortune. Of course, then we discovered Jonesy had his own wallet, with credit cards, a driver's license, and even an ID card for work. By the time we found that, the tent had already vanished... If only I hadn't turned down his first offer. I could have been a handsome, buff adult in the prime of his life. Now I'll never be instantly beefy like Jonesy, it's not fair...

"Aw, don't be so down in the dumps. Just give this place a try, I'm sure you'll love it"

"Huh?" I look up at Jonesy. He was still smoking his cigar, it was half gone and clenched between his teeth as he looked through the menu.

Jonesy exhaled a puff of smoke. "You were mumbling something about no beef?" He smiled to himself, eager to make a joke before second guessing himself. "I know it's a vegan restaurant, but it gets some rave reviews. It'll do you some good, you know. Eat enough veggies, and you could be as big and strong as I am."

"I wish..." I muttered to myself. It's not like you could magically get strong...

"Okay, I admit that review was from your mom. She insisted we ate here. You know what she's like... At least give it a try, and I'll take you to Beef Shack the next time I'm in town.  You never know, you might be a quinoa fan!"

He was right, Maybe it won't be so bad, after all. It's just tough not to feel jealous whenever Uncle Jonesy comes to visit. He's so much cooler than anyone else I know. And he's never in town for long before he moves on with another adventure. Maybe one day he'll stay long enough to finally teach me how to lift weights so I could be as big as him some day in the future...