Alternative Medicine 📊

In one single night, Thomas had many firsts. His first time sneaking out of the house. His first unchaperoned party. His first beer. His first time being drunk. His first time making out with a girl. First time sleeping with one. His first time coming home well past curfew. His first time blacking out. It would be weeks before he discovered the final first; getting someone pregnant. Many months down the road, his first and only child was born. Little Gerald. And all before he had even graduated high school.

The mother was a stranger from another school who only carried the baby to term out of a moral obligation. Only then did she disown him, giving Thomas full custody. Apparently, an education at Princeton was more important than raising a child. An education that Thomas couldn't get himself. Not with a little one to care for. Instead, he found a job straight out of school, working long hours to earn a living. Having a healthy network of family to help raise his son in those early years certainly helped.

Ten years later, and he had a place to call his own, and a new job where he could work remotely so he didn't need to rely on anyone's help. It was just Gerald and Thomas against the world. Which could be a struggle at times. It didn't help that Gerald had been given an ADHD diagnosis, forced onto him by a "concerned individual" at school. He didn't believe in labeling kids with such absolutism. He's just a rambunctious, energetic boy. That's what boys are like. And now he was expected to medicate him to keep him in normal classes and not thrown into the special needs pit.

Thomas complied for the most part. Until he discovered a workaround that aligned with his views. It was all thanks to Josie's Home Life, one of the parenting podcasts he kept up with. She'd mentioned an all natural Asian herbal supplement that was perfect for ADHD afflicted kids. Granted, it wasn't designed with that in mind, but it improved attention spans and calmed busy minds without any of the nasty chemicals and medical mumbo jumbo those quack doctors wanted you to ingest. And best of all, it was available to buy on Henka's marketplace for a fraction of the price of his son's medication.

It was a no-brainer really. He'd been giving Gerald the supplements every day for the past four months, and the results spoke for themselves. He seemed more well behaved, less off-the-walls energetic, and he threw far less tantrums. He was even well disciplined and focused in school. Going to a parents evening where the teacher praised his improvement in classwork and didn't even once mention the words "dog in diapers" had Thomas feeling like the best parent the world.

There were off days, of course. Even that so-called medicine wasn't 100% effective at handling Gerald's peak energy times. So it wasn't the biggest betrayal when Henka's magic tablets couldn't get a grip on his son. Sometimes he considered upping the dose when that happened, but the peculiar side effects had him err on the side of caution. It sounded ludicrous, but he didn't want to tempt fate. They just had to wait it out a day and he'd be right as rain the following morning.

That is, until today. Thomas had invited everyone from work to attend a dinner party. This would be his first time meeting most of the team in person, so he had to get those first impressions just right. He'd even invited the boss, and this was his best chance to get in her good books. If all goes well, he could be looking at a healthy bonus. But if it went wrong? Well, he'd rather not think about it. 

With only 6 hours before guests arrived, a Gerald-cane had swept through the home. Paper and felt tip markers scattered across the dining room table, a drawing of Sonic left abandoned along with a half-eaten bowl of the soggiest Cornflakes caked in sugar. A pile of dirty laundry was dumped at the foot of the stairs instead of in a basket in the laundry room. Globs of failed cake batter painted the kitchen walls. And there in the center of the living room with the TV on full blast was Gerald surrounded by hundreds of LEGO bricks building a mismatched disaster of a castle, blissfully unaware of the chaos he'd brought about.

"Daddy, hey daddy, where'd you put the old Death Star set? I want the green laser pieces to make a disco floor in the courtyard."

Thomas dragged a hand down his face, trying not to get too angry at what was a very stressful moment. "Gerald, buddy," he managed to say in a calm yet demanding tone. "Didn't I tell you an hour ago to clean up? I have a very important evening ahead, and Lego disco floors are not a part of it!"

"They should be. Hey daddy, imagine everyone's got their shoes off and stepping on Lego bricks to make up new dance moves! That'd be so funny, they'd be yelping like those disco guys with the girly singing voices!"

"Less imagining, more tidying."

"Okay, I just gotta add a tower to the-"

"No, now! Put the Legos away and sort out the dining room."

"Lego, daddy. It's just Lego. Like sheep. And fish. And dice. And-"

"I don't have time for a grammar lesson! Just put it all away, please!"

Gerald pouted, but ultimately began sweeping the LEGO up and dumping them back into the box. Thomas returned to the kitchen in a sweat. He didn't like being the bad guy around Gerald. But he was testing his patience. He still had to prepare both the main meal and the vegan alternative. Not to mention redoing the cake his son so unhelpfully messed with. Then he had to clean up the house and himself. All while keeping an eye on Gerald's antics. Something was going to go wrong. Be it a subpar dinner, lackluster hosting, or Gerald interrupting with one of his impromptu karaoke moments. It would be a whole lot easier if Gerald weren't so... Gerald right now.  

Come to think of it, had he given Gerald his tablet today? It was very possible he was caught up in the stress of it all and forgotten to include it at breakfast. And Gerald wasn't going to remember it himself... He opened the cabinet above the oven and pulled out his stash of Henka's tablets, staring at the back of the package he'd come to know so well.

Dr Gulao's Betterment Remedy

A harmonious herbal blend of 100% organic, plant-sourced ingredients. Vegan-friendly and formulated without artificial colors or preservatives. Taken daily, our betterment remedy provides targeted nutritional support to give you a calmer life, maintain healthy brain function and performance, and help you feel focused and confident throughout your day.

Containing:

French maritime pine bark and ginkgo bilboa to improve concentration 
Lion's mane mushroom and laohua seed to promote healthy brain development
Chengshu leaf and shijian root extract to support mental and emotional maturity

For oral use. One tablet once a day. Swallow the tablet whole with water. Do not chew or crush. Leave at least 18 hours between doses. Do not, under any circumstance, exceed this dosage. Doing so could lead to physical maturation alongside increased mental capabilities. Other side effects include...

It must be some sort of mistranslation, Thomas thought. Even when he first looked into the supplement, the side effects and overdose risk sounded outlandish at best. Why would a supplement that improved concentration and brain development also lead to so-called feet swelling, extreme weight gain, and hirsutism? No, it was definitely a mistranslation. It's what you have to expect when you receive supplements from online. Besides, he read the reviews before buying them. If there was any real problem, he would have seen something, right?

Thomas tipped a white pill onto a shaky hand, and dropped it into a mortar and pestle. He crushed it up into a fine powder, and mixed it into the soup he'd prepared for Gerald's lunch. It'd absorb into his blood quicker, so he'd calm down and be out of his hair faster, he reasoned. And thankfully, lunch went off without a hitch. Gerald ate the entire bowl of soup, he even scraped down the sides with his grilled cheese. 

Soon afterward, life in the house calmed down. The TV was switched off, the toys and laundry were put away, and Thomas finally had the peace and quiet he needed to prepare a three course meal for about a dozen people. The thought still made his stomach twist in knots. It was going swimmingly until Gerald began to bother him once more. Not in the usual way however, with noise and mess. Instead, he'd knock on the kitchen door, pop his head in, and ask a question. It was mildly irritating at most, and Thomas batted them away with the ease of a man on a deadline.

"Daddy, my clothes feel tight, and I can't find anything to wear. Did it all shrink in the wash again?"

"You're a growing boy, we'll go shopping tomorrow. Just get something from the laundry bin for now."

"Daddy, I can reach the top of the bathroom cabinet now! I don't even need the stall at all!"

"That's great, buddy! Just make sure you leave my stuff alone."

"Daddy, I was going to the toilet and there was hair. You know, down there... But it wasn't there before. I'd have noticed, right?"

"It's all a part of growing up, there'll be more where that came from over the next few years."

"Daddy, I know you're all weird about medicine and doctors and all, but it's just, I'm getting these red spots on my face and I'm worried it could be chickenpox. It's not chickenpox, right??"

"Well your Grammy and Grampy got you all of your vaccinations. Without my permission... There's probably nothing to worry about."

"Daddy, I'm scared. The spots don't itch but they ooze when you poke them, and the hair on my arms and legs are getting darker, and there's more of it down there, and listen to my voice! It's all sore and croaky and squeaky! I asked Chat and it said I should go to the hospital cause I could be dying!"

"Gerald, buddy, you know that thing lies all the time. You sound tired, were you up all night playing that weird card game again? Why don't you take a nap and you'll feel much better."

That afforded him about an hour of peace. Thomas had the main event in the oven, and a decent red velvet cake locked away for afters. He'd wiped down the dining room and lounge until it was spotless. He had just had his shower and was deciding on which tie would better match his suit when he heard a loud, guttural cry from down the hall that made his heart stop. He thought maybe it was a wild animal outside until he heard another cry as clear as day.

"Da-a-ad?!"

Thomas froze. It was unlike anything he'd heard. It was nothing like Gerald's angelic call, a voice that chimed out over the others in his choir. This was deep and gravelly and commanding. A man's voice. His mind raced as Dr. Gulao's Betterment Remedy flashed in his mind. It was a mistranslation, surely. There's no way it was true. But that wasn't the only thing that caught his attention. Because Gerald had never called him dad before...

"Dad! I have a really big problem! Dad!"

Despite his reservations, Thomas couldn't just abandon his son. He bound down to his son's room and popped his head in, before immediately popping back out. There's no way... It couldn't be... It was impossible...

He had to be brave. Thomas gulped and stepped into Gerald's bedroom to face the fully grown adult man within. He was well built and seriously hairy, thick curls of dark fur swamped his rounded pecs, smothered his abs, and stretched down his arms and legs like hairy gloves and tights. A short, bristly beard contoured his sharpened jawline. To top it off, he was completely nude, his large erect cock practically pointing in his direction. Thomas felt his legs wobble, and he grabbed the doorframe to stop himself from fainting. "Gerald? Buddy...?" he asked in a meek voice. The man cocked his head toward him with a look of confusion.

"Uhhh, Dad?" The man asked with a wavering voice. "What is happening to me?"

Thomas blushed and fumbled to find the right words. "Uhm, well," he stammered. "You see, when a man gets...uhm...excited about something in a-"

"I know what an erection is," Gerald replied dryly. "I know what causes one, and I know the quickest way to get rid of one. And quite frankly, it's neither the time nor the place. No, what I want to know is why do I know these things? Why am I suddenly old enough that those things are commonsense? Why am I so big and hairy and heavy?"

"Well that'd be down to genetics. You come from a long line of, ahem, big men." Gerald flashed a disparaging look and Thomas coughed. "Oh you mean- Of course! Right. Well, it could be anything. Who really knows what causes a person to grow up? Diet, discipline, uh, environment? Erm..."

"Dad!" Gerald finally snapped. "I had some major concerns all afternoon, yet you kept giving me half-assed answers and gaslighting me into thinking nothing was seriously wrong. Now look at me! I'm a fucking man! This is seriously fucking wrong!"

Thomas was taken aback. How could this crass, furry man be his son? It was like his mind had grown along with his body. He stammered, trying his best to delay the inevitable. But he knew that he was caught red handed. "Okay," he sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "This is all my fault. You see..." 

Gerald listened intently as his dad explained everything about Dr. Gulao's Betterment Remedy, showing few signs of emotion. When he was done, he took in a long breath and exhaled, his nostrils flaring in frustration. "So let me get this straight," he said through gritted teeth. "You replaced my legitimate medication with an herbal supplement you bought from Henka? That fucking discount shop with all the bullshit knock-offs? Without even considering consulting a doctor or an expert or even myself!?"

"Just because you're a man now, it doesn't mean you should pepper a swear word into every sentence," Thomas grumbled under his breath. "And in my defence, my insurance stopped covering your fancy medication. It was find an alternative or go unmedicated. These supplements are better for you, and they've been working better too, up to now. You didn't even notice a thing when I switched them out."

"That doesn't make it okay! You should have told me before making such a big decision about my own life. Now look at me, I've got hair in places I didn't think was possible, and a voice that could never sing like the Bee Gees again, and this nuisance of a penis that just won't fucking stop throbbing and begging for me to touch it!"

"About that," Thomas grumbled. "Couldn't you put a blanket over it or something? It's very distracting..."

"Oh no, you did this to me, you have to put up with its presence like I do," Gerald growled. "I still can't believe you could be so reckless. I was a little messy and more focused on being a kid than cleaning up, and you decided that was sin enough to force me to grow into a man who might know better than act like a child."

"It's nothing like that at all!" Thomas pleaded. "Th-this dinner party is so important. It could make or break my career! I thought maybe... Maybe I'd forgotten to give you the tablet, and maybe-"

"You didn't ask!" Gerald yelled at the top of his lungs. "All you had to do was ask, and you didn't. You didn't ask about switching my meds. You didn't ask whether I'd taken my pill today. You just acted, and now I'm... I'm..."

"Gerald... I-"

"Go." Gerald said under his breath. "Just go away and leave me alone. Go and deal with your all-important dinner party and leave me be..."

Thomas hovered for a second, deciding whether or not to argue back. But he knew it'd be fruitless. He'd done something unforgivable at a moment of weakness, and there was nothing he could do to help. Unless... He fled out of the room, looking back briefly to see Gerald grab at his cock with a heavy sigh, finally deciding to put that newly gained information to good use. 

Rather not wanting to picture that brute of a man getting it off, Thomas rushed back to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of supplements once more. His eyes darted wildly as he scanned the bottle for any mention of what to do if an overdose occurred. Then he opened the box it came in and tore through the instructional manual that everyone mostly ignored. Alas, there was nothing. Just a vague 'consult a doctor', and Thomas would do nothing of the sort.

Next, he jumped onto the computer and did a deep dive into Dr Gulao's Betterment Remedy. He had to find something, anything that could bring back his son. None of the reviews mentioned rapid aging, not even the one star reviews. He couldn't be the only person to have done this... 

So he jumped into social media, then the parenting forums, then foreign language blogs that mentioned Dr Gulao. Eventually, he found some info. It was all translated into English and talked about in the vague tones of a person unwilling to admit what had happened to their son in case of backlash or maybe even a fear of alerting unwanted attention. But if you read between the lines, it was clear to see that Thomas wasn't the first parent to mess up their son's life. However, this too led to a dead end. Some people said it was a temporary affliction, some said it was permanent and couldn't be reversed. All these conflicted sources left Thomas nowhere clearer as to what to do. He just wanted his son back...

It was then that he heard the doorbell ring. Thomas' stomach flipped. The dinner party! He'd gotten so caught up in helping Gerald that he'd completely forgotten. He still had so much to do. Dust off the champagne he'd been saving for such an occasion, set out the place mats and the good china, get the fucking dinner out of the oven! He jumped to his feet in a panic, only to hear the front door open and some muffled conversation. He hadn't left the door on a latch, how did they get in?

Curious, he crept out of his study and popped his head around the corner. He recognised the older woman in the flapper-style dress instantly. It was his boss! Alongside her was presumably her husband in a tailored black suit. They were the first to arrive it would seem, he expected nothing less. They were talking to someone who had his back turned to him. A dark haired stranger in a black pinstriped suit that looked mightily familiar. He gulped, wondering just why Gerald had stolen one of his suits and was casually chatting with his boss. No good, he assumed...

If he craned his head slightly, he could just about hear his son's deep dulcet tones as he said, "It's a pleasure. Might I say, you look very dashing in that dress. May I take your coats?"

"Aren't you a charmer," his boss giggled as she passed a glamorous faux fur coat to the waiting man. "And handsome too. I bet a man such as yourself has the ladies crawling at your feet."

"Well I'm gay, so I can't say I've noticed."

"Pity. All the best men are," she sniffed. "Ah, I shall have to introduce you to Jamie! He's a gay as well. Wonderful fellow, recently out of a long-time relationship as it were."

Gerald finally turned and locked eyes with Thomas, flashing a relieved smile. "And here's the man of the hour now!" He said a bit too forcefully. "Fashionably late to his own occasion it seems."

Thomas rubbed the back of his neck as he approached his guests, acutely aware that he hadn't finished getting ready for the party. He noticed that Gerald had not just borrowed one of his suits, he also borrowed the tie that he himself had laid out as an option to wear. Now he'd have to go with the royal green number that didn't quite vibe with the suit he currently wore... "Yes, sorry. I was attending to some, uh, last minute preparations, and lost track of time, clearly. Good evening Ma'am. Sir." He chuckled awkwardly as he stuck his hand out for a shake. 

"Ah, Thomas. It's lovely to see you in the flesh once again," his boss cooed with a soft handshake. Her husband, in contrast, had the grip of a vice. Thomas tried not to wince from the pain as his boss added, "I was just saying to your brother, it's a shame we don't see you in the office more. You always have such wonderful insights during our meetings. When your livestream works, that is."

"Yeah, the WiFi acts up at the worst times," Thomas chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Taking this as a signal, Gerald said "If you'd like to follow me to the lounge to mingle with the other guests, perhaps nibble on the canapés or imbibe some wine."

There were already other guests here? Thomas really was out of it. This would have been an utter disaster were it not for Gerald stepping in. What was his angle? He was cussing him out over an hour ago. As he guided his boss into the lounge, he said, "Would you excuse us for a moment," grabbing his son by the arm and pulling him back into the hallway. "What do you think you're up to?" He demanded.

"What does it look like? I'm trying to help your dinner party go off without a hitch. Because your only son becoming a grown man is a pretty big hitch!"

"Yeah, and that adult son introducing himself to your boss isn't!?"

"Don't worry, I told her that I'm your older brother, and that I'd be helping you host tonight."

"Hold on. I admit you look a little mature, but older than me? If I grew a beard like yours, we'd practically be twins."

"Dad, you can't grow a beard. Remember, you tried last year and it was all patchy. Nothing like mine." Gerald stroked a hand across it, and smiled. "It feels pretty good, actually. Especially after putting a little jojoba oil in to stop the itchiness."

"So you can grow a beard, that doesn't mean-"

"It's not just the beard. I have more body hair than you too. And I don't know if you noticed, but I have slight recession at the temples. It could be a matured hairline, it could be the beginnings of male pattern baldness. Either way, you don't have it yet. Be grateful you don't. I even had a few white hairs in my beard that I had to pull out before the party. Either I'm mature for whatever age I am, or I'm older than you."

Thomas frowned, he couldn't argue with that logic. It just felt weird to him that his son wasn't just a grown man, but also older than himself. Perhaps it was down to being such a young father. He felt far older than his twenty-seven years on Earth suggested. Certainly far older than the ten year old masquerading as a man of presumably thirty stood before him.

Wanting to change the topic, Gerald said, "she's pretty nice, your boss. And quite the talker. I'm glad you came out of the study when you did. I think she wanted to set me up with someone."

"Yeah, I heard you talking," Thomas grumbled. "Why did you tell her you were gay?"

"Because I am?" Gerald said matter-of-factly. "I didn't have an erection because of the supplements, it's because I was turned on by my new body. The way my chest hair accentuates the curves of my pecs really-"

"Ah ah ah!" Thomas shushed. "I really don't need to know that! Saying you're gay is more than enough."

"No need to be so prudish," Gerald chuckled. "We're both men here, right?"

"That's what worries me," Thomas sighed. "You were supposed to stay in your room tonight while I hosted the party. Then you grow up, and now we're co-hosting? This throws everything off! Another mouth to feed? I don't have enough-"

"Woah, there. Breathe!" Gerald patted him reassuringly. "Don't worry, I've sorted everything out. I rescued your dinner from the oven, and plated up all the hors d'oeuvres. I even rearranged the tables to better seat everyone, and I set out a drink station in the lounge so guests can help themselves. All you have to do is show your pretty face and put your charming wit to good use."

"You sorted it all out? You? The man who accused me of ruining his life earlier?"

"Don't look so surprised," Gerald mused. "After you left my bedroom, I decided to go about getting rid of my, ahem, affliction. I won't bore you with the sordid details, but that joyous relief also led me to some clarity. This party was important to you, and you've been stressed all day. I knew that, and I didn't even bother helping because I wanted to play instead. If I'd been a little more mature, maybe you wouldn't have resorted to such extreme measures."

"But you were a child. You had the right to be childish. I shouldn't have been so uptight and unwilling to let you make your own decisions. You don't have to blame yourself..."

"I'm not. You're still entirely to blame. However, while I am still rightfully mad with you and how your actions have robbed me of years of my life, I also realise this dinner party has to be a success for you. I think I'm mature enough to put aside our differences for now."

"Are you though? You may look like a man, and you sound like a man, but you're not a man. Not really. You're a child piloting a man's body. Attempting a mimicry of adulthood."

Gerald frowned and stroked the tip of his beard as he tried to find the right words. Finally, he spoke in a hushed voice.  "Dad, you were seventeen when I was born." Hard to see that now, Thomas thought as he looked this now grown man who was more than likely older than himself. He continued, "You were still a kid, and you had this whole new level of responsibility thrown onto you. You could have given me away, put me up in foster care. But you decided to raise me instead. With all the odds against you, you didn't let anything stop you from caring for me. You were forced to grow up way too fast, just like me. We're both kids attempting to mimic adults. And you succeeded under far dire circumstances. So why can't I give it a try? Please, just let me help you with this damned dinner party. I want to help."

Thomas dragged a hand down his face with an elongated sigh. "Okay, okay... You've already been a major help just for getting the alcohol out and not letting the dinner burn." The two men chuckled. "How do you know all these things about dinner parties anyway?"

"Don't you get it? I'm a man inside and out. My mind has grown with my body. It's as if that supplement stuffed a full set of encyclopedias in my head, including proper etiquette and how to throw a dinner party. I have everything under control."

"Wow, I don't know what to say."

"A simple thank you brother would suffice."

Thank you so much," Thomas sighed sincerely. "But you're only my brother for tonight. Tomorrow, we'll figure out a way to return you to normal." The two men hugged, Thomas wincing as he felt his son's beard scratch against his bare cheek, and the full bulk of his lean muscle rest against his own. He felt no different from the man he presented as. As they parted, the doorbell rang once more. He looked to Gerald and nodded his head. "Go ahead, I've got to get a tie, and introduce myself to everyone else!" He smiled as the man walked down the hallway, head held high. They were going to make everything work. The dinner party, the sudden maturity, everything. They had to.