Guest Satisfaction

It's funny to think that, before we left, I was not looking forward to my family vacation. Usually, we'd stay in a condo in Florida, but this time we were going to some boring hotel and spa in the middle of nowhere, let alone near a theme park. Even worse, I'd have to share a hotel room with my parents. They both snore so loud, I'd never get any sleep! I begged and pleaded to have my own room, but they said it'd cost too much, so I was stuck with them...

When we got to the hotel, I complained once more. Mom told me off for making a scene, but the check-in lady actually went to speak with her managers. When she came back, she said they usually don't let kids stay in their own rooms, but they'd make an exception for me since they were trying something new and needed some feedback! Plus, it was no extra charge! My parents weren't too sure, but she managed to talk them into it. It's almost like she hypnotised them. Whatever she did, it turned this trip into the best!

Malfunctioning Clock

Things were quiet at the store this morning. That is, until an agitated man stormed through the door. I could sense his negative energy before he entered, of course. Yet the way he slammed the door open was enough to make me jump in fright. As he strode up to the counter, I was afraid he was going to throttle me! Still, I managed to keep my composure and smiled. "Good morning, how may I be of assistance today?" He said nothing. Instead, he thrust an alarm clock in my face. It looked familiar, certainly one of my own. Yet I couldn't place his face. He could be any of the bald, angry men who required my assistance. From recent memory, I'd only sold one of those clocks to a much younger man... "Oh, I remember you! You're the late bloomer, that's right..." I gazed at him and frowned. "Oh dear, you've aged terribly..."

"You think?" He growled as he slammed the clock on the desk. "This fucking clock is broken! It won't stop fucking ringing! Every ten minutes, R-I-I-I-NG! R-I-I-I-NG!" As if on cue, the alarm clock suddenly sprang to life in his hand. He slammed his hand down on the buzzer and buried his head in his hands, releasing a short wail. "It's driving me insane!"

The Hangover

"Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!" A voice chirped as the curtains were thrown open, and Scott was rudely awoken from his deep slumber.

"Ah..." He sat up and blinked in the sudden sunlight, trying to see who had disturbed him, only to wince in pain. He rubbed his forehead as a terrible pounding throbbed deep in his skull.

"Headache huh?" It was his brother, Trent. But something seemed off about him. Scott tried to focus on him, but the morning light only made his headache worse.

"Mmmhmm... I don't feel too good..." he mumbled before coughing to clear his throat. He sounded as rough as he felt. "Ugh, get me a bucket..."

"That bad, huh? Well, I'm not surprised after the night you had."

Night. What even happened last night? It all felt a blur now. Flashes of memory blinked through his mind, none of which made sense and only made his headache worse. There was, however, one thing that stuck out. "I had the craziest dream," The thick deepness to his voice still persisted. "It was like... We found this sort of spell book in the archives, and after reading it out loud, we somehow managed to swap... lives in a way? You became a kid and I turned into an adult..."

He stifled a chuckle, covering it as a cough. "Wow, wouldn't that be crazy."

"Right? But since it was in a different language, we couldn't reverse the spell before we were kicked out at closing. So we had to pretend to be each other for the day, and nobody even noticed. Your friends even invited me to some bar and..." He paused to scratch his chest, and froze. He felt something unusual, something hairy... "What the-"

"Then what happened." Scott looked towards his brother. He hadn't noticed how light his voice sounded until now. He squinted in the morning light. He had thought Trent was sitting down, given how short he looked. Only now he realised he was actually standing. He also noticed his cartoony PJs and the pair of bunny slippers he was wearing. Then he noticed how round and not scruffy his face looked, He was almost cherub-like. Trent cracked a knowing grin, and prodded, "Go on, what happened at the bar?"

Scott's eyes widened. "Oh no..." He was still dreaming, he had to be! He looked back down at his own body. He had a toned, athletic torso with a tidy coverage of body hair. "No, this isn't..." He could feel his beard scratch again his collarbone as he spoke. He wasn't even in his own bedroom. Probably because he was too big to sleep in his own bed. With a final, daring move, he shoved a hand under the covers, and cringed upon discovering he wasn't wearing anything underneath. He grasped his hard cock in confused wonder, feeling it twitch upon his touch. "Noooo..." he gasped under his breath.

Trent jumped onto the other side of the bed with a laugh. "Took you long enough! And to finish your story, you went out with my buds, and went a little overboard on the alcohol. Welcome to your first hangover!"

"Hangover?" Scott grimaced at the thought. He couldn't have gotten drunk, or gone to a grown-ups party, or anything else his mind insisted he had done the night before. "This has to be a dream..."

"Afraid not, bro. The headache, the nausea, the tiredness, among other things. You really are a grown man who can't handle his drink."

Scott buried his face in his hands, wincing at the feeling of his beard ruffling against his palms. He slammed his head back into his pillow and groaned, "Just leave me here to die..."

"Don't be such a cry baby. It won't be the last time you get one of those."

"Not if I can help it. I'm never drinking again..."

"That's what they all say, first time round."

Scott's phone buzzed. Or rather, Trent's phone which Scott had acquired. He reluctantly picked it up, only to moan loudly at the message he received. "They want to go out again tonight!? I can't... We're going back to those archives and fixing this mess!"

Trent sucked on his teeth the way people do when giving bad news. "About that. The archives are kinda closed to visitors for the next few months... So unless you remember the name of that book, you'll have to take it easy on the alcohol tonight. But for now, a good cup of joe should perk you up."

Before Scott could react, his brother jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. "What!? I can't be stuck like this for months... Trent? Come back!" He sighed once more, Trent had even left the curtains wide open. With an annoyed grumbled, Scott rolled over and clenched his eyes shut once more. Maybe if he woke up again, he'd discover it was all just some horrible nightmare. He just had to go back to sleep once more...

Long-Distance Spell

I was busy working on a report for work when my quiet time was rudely interrupted by my son yelling down the hallway. Without warning, Chris burst into my study and yelled, "He's gonna do it!"

I sighed. "Who's going to do what?"

"Grandpa!" He was brimming with excitement. "He's going to do the spell!"

"Aha..." I mumbled as I turned back to my screen, trying to recall what I was writing. That old coot was always bragging about his supposed magical abilities with nothing to show for it. 

"Don't you remember? I told him how you always tell me to grow up and stop acting like a baby, and he got all annoyed?"

"Oh, I remember," I replied with a sour expression. "But your grandpa isn't a wizard, no matter how much he believes it. You really must grow out of these fantasies..."

"Yeah, like that! He said he knew a spell to help me, and that he'd also help you reconnect with your childhood since you're a pain in the butt that needs to learn manners."

"Charming..." That man has had it out for me ever since I had that little affair and broke it off with my, um, lovely ex-wife. Honestly, I'd love to cut that whole, weird family out of my life, but Chris was too close to them, he wouldn't understand... I tried to shoo him away, until my computer screen started to flicker.

The air felt like static. I turned to look at Chris, who had a grin on his face. "I think it's starting! I'm gonna go watch!" He ran out of the room. I felt uneasy. Why did the room feel so peculiar? There was no chance the spell was real, right?

Chronolysis

It's game time. I bought my cinema ticket for Hyperion Re:Union online, and I collected it from the self-service machine without any trouble. It didn't even alert someone to check if I was old enough to see an R-rated movie. That was the hard part of the plan. Now I just have to convince the ticket guy that I'm old enough to watch it unaccompanied... Okay, well I look every bit the high schooler that I am, but all the cool kids at school sneaked in, and I'm not going to be left behind! Luckily, I have a little trick up my sleeve...

Fortunes Told

"Look what I found in my pocket!" I glanced up from my phone, and watched as Jonesy produced a large cigar with a big grin. "Isn't that cool?" He chuckled, putting it up to his lips like he was smoking.

 "Hey, don't smoke it!" I cried, trying to reach up and snatch it from him. But Jonesy had the height and weight advantage, keeping me a fair distance away until I stopped thrashing. Then he poked his tongue out at me. Real mature... I grunted, "Are you even allowed to smoke here?"

"First of all, I can do whatever I want since I'm an adult. Besides, I made sure to check before we entered and, as long as we stay in this area, it's allowed."

"Why would you check for a smoking area?"

"In case I wanted to smoke!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed as Jonesy produced a lighter from another pocket. Where was he getting this stuff from... "So you've never smoked in your life, and just wanted to start because...?"

"That's just the kind of guy I am now. I don't know why you're so hung up on it. Unless..." He waggled his eyebrows from beneath his sunglasses as he leaned in closer, then whispered in my ear, "you're jealous..."

I swatted Jonesy away, and he fell into a laughing fit, almost dropping his cigar in the process. I buried my head in the menu to hide my reddening cheeks. He was right, I was jealous. Not that I was going to admit it to Jonesy's stupid, bald, wrinkly, old face. It wasn't because I wanted to smoke, that's just disgusting. It's the other thing... The fact that my baby bro was now some big, old muscle man. Not only that, but he keeps acting more like an actual adult, and I'm beginning to forget he was even my brother...

Pep Talk

 

Okay... You're okay... So you're suddenly big and hairy and old... But that's fine! You'll find a way to...to not be big a-and hairy and...old... Just be cool, you're just a normal guy who's washing his hands, and you're gonna... AH!

I leap back from the sink and clutch my chest, before whipping my hand away as it brushes against my chest hair... Ugh, it still sounds weird to say it. My chest hair. I have chest hair. And stomach hair. And back hair, ew... I grip the edge of the sink to stop my legs from collapsing again, and exhale a deep sigh. I need to ground myself, and recall what happened...

All-Inclusive

 

 

 

Aw man, this stinks... When that lady in the lobby said she could make me a grown up for the rest of the vacation, I was so excited! I imagined I'd be doing loads of cool stuff with all the other grown-ups, like bungee jumping and surfboarding and scuba diving! All the stuff I wanted to do on vacation, but I was always told I was "too young" or "too short" or whatever lousy excuse they told me. But now I know the truth. It's not that I wasn't allowed to do that stuff, it's that none of the grown-ups wanted to! All they want to do is sunbathe and drink at the poolside bar. It's so boring! 

 

Even if I suggest doing something fun, everyone stares at me like I'm an idiot for wanting to leave the hotel. I know it's all-inclusive, but there's more to vacation than this! I'd go and do it myself, but then I'd have to pay for the taxi to get there, and then pay to do the thing, and then pay for the souvenirs... It was easier when my parents paid for everything. And apparently, adult me didn't budget for anything outside of Happy Hour, so I'm basically stuck in this place... Vacations are expensive!

 

Even worse, now that I'm a grown up, I can't do the other fun things I could've done as a kid. Like the water splash park, or the mini-golf course. I even miss the stupid kids club the adults put you in when they decide they want a kids-free evening. At least they had videos games! I tried building sandcastles on the beach with the kids I used to be friends with, and the adults laughed and said it was cute that I was humoring them. They just don't understand...

 

I suppose I should focus on the positives of being a grown-up. It is pretty awesome that I'm bigger than all the kids and my stupid cousins. I even got muscles, so I can lift real heavy things like they were nothing. And having a beard is pretty neat too, except when it gets all itchy 'cause it's hot out. I guess it's cool that I can drink alcohol without getting into trouble, even though it tastes nasty without being mixed with lots of soda and juices. Actually, it's real nice to be treated like a person when I'm hanging with the other adults. Even strangers are a lot friendlier and happy to chat with me, which is a weird change of pace!

 

But I'd give it all up so I could be a kid again before the vacation is up. Wait a minute... That lady did say I'd stop being an adult when vacation's over, right? I didn't just assume she said that in the excitement of it all? I haven't seen her in the hotel since then... I can't be stuck like this! I don't wanna get a job...

Test Subject

 What luck! Just as I was wondering how to discreetly test my latest, ingenius invention, the perfect test subject happened to board the bus. He was your typical, defiant teenager who had decided that long, greasy hair, spiked accessories, and a liberal usage of eyeliner really stuck it to the man. He trudged to the back of the bus, dumping his bag covered with band buttons in the seat next to him. He was completely oblivious to the world around him, oblivious to me and my wonderful invention.

I swung open the device in my lap and aimed the transmitter at the goth, smiling as a list of attributes ran down the screen. Phase one worked perfectly. Now to put it into action... I decided to start with something subtle. Those unsightly ear gauges would do perfectly. I tapped in my desires and held my breath, trying not to stare as I waited... Then it happened! I stifled a squeal of glee as the large, plastic hoops melted and dripped out of his enlarged ear lobes. The liquid glided effortlessly around his ears and joined above his forehead, forming a standard pair of sunglasses. Meanwhile, his droopy ear lobes rolled back up, tightening and molding until there was no sign he'd ever pierced his ears, let alone stretched them out.

I couldn't believe it, my invention worked! I mean of course it worked, I am a genius after all. But to show such promise in its initial test run? I couldn't hope for any better! That goth brat was entirely unaware as well, even when he reached up to touch the sunglasses, only to adjust their position. He didn't notice a thing!

Big Summer Blowout

So, I have been far busier than I expected to be these last few months. Which is good for many reasons, but not for my writing! Since I've piled up a sizable backlog of stories that are partially written... But I do have a few shorter stories written, which I would usually combine for a vignettes post and call it a day. 

However, I've decided to do things a little different this time, and I'm going to spread them out over the rest of the summer. I'm aiming for one or two stories a week, so look out for that starting tomorrow!