Flew The Coop

As Luke stepped off his school bus, he immediately picked up on the sound of loud arguing coming from the direction of his house. He rolled his eyes, it was obviously his dad arguing with his girlfriend again. Or rather, his ex girlfriend as of the previous week when he unceremoniously dumped her via text message. Knowing how hot-headed his dad could get when he was upset, Luke hurried to the door in the hopes of maybe cooling the situation a bit. He entered the house, dumped his school bag on the floor, and followed the sounds of discontent to the kitchen.

The back door was open, so Luke peeked his head round to see the two in mid-argument in the back yard. He expected to see his dad screaming right in his ex's face, yet was surprised to instead see him cowering in the corner of the yard. More worryingly, he held his hands out to block his face as the vengeful woman approached him. Her arm was held high, a thin, jagged rod clutched in her hand. Luke thought she was going to strike him. Instead, she pointed it downwards at his dad and yelled something unintelligible. A beam of sparkling light jettisoned out of its tip, striking his dad square in the chest.


Nothing seemed to happen at first. That is, until his dad cried out a loud "Bur-GAWK!". He glanced around in a panic, grabbing at his face as his lips and nose stretched forwards, merging into one triangular point. Hair slipped off his head in clumps, leaving behind a mohawk that was growing taller, changing a bright red that matched his reddening goatee. His arms were horrifically shifting in shape, the limbs turning stubby as his fingers shrivelled back into his misshaped palms. Tiny goosebumps spread across his skin, growing increasingly agitated until white fluff burst free from his pores. At this point, he had rapidly decreased in size until his disfigured head sunk into his shirt, his body swallowed up by his clothing. There was some movement in the confines of the fabric, until his head re-emerged, then a torso, and some wings. Luke's jaw dropped in astonishment. What had burrowed its way out of his dad's clothing was a white, feathery chicken! It looked around with its black, beady eyes, made a soft clucking noise, and strutted around the back yard looking a tad lost.

The vengeful ex-girlfriend cackled with glee at her former lover's fate, shoving her wand back up her sleeve. She was pleased that everything had gone to plan. That is, until she turned around and spotted his son standing at the door, slack-jawed. She sighed as he eventually bounded towards her, pointing his finger accusingly. "Sharon! What the heck did you just do!?" he shouted.

"Oh that?" She asked, glancing at the bird that was pecking at its abandoned clothing. "It's a chicken, silly! I got it for your father as a parting gift, since he always talked about wanting one. I didn't want to leave any bad blood between us"

Luke shook his head. "Nuh-uh, I saw everything! You used magic to turn my dad into a chicken! You're... You're a witch!"

Sharon smirked at remark. "Now that's a wild accusation to make in this day and age. I mean, it's true, but it sounds so old fashioned"

He gasped, at a loss for words. Magic actually exists! But he couldn't focus on that now. He had to get answers. He asked "But why... Why would you turn dad into a chicken?"

"Well your bastard of a father not only dumped me on our 6 month anniversary, but he wasn't even brave enough to do it in person! No, he dumped me by text like a wimp! A coward! A chicken! So I figured if he's going to act like a chicken then he should look like one too. And you must have seen him crying on the floor like a baby." She deepened her voice to mock him. "Ooohh no! Don't curse me! I promise I'll be better!". Sharon let out a single laugh in response. "Even going out, he was a chicken through and through."

Luke had tears in his eyes at hearing her hatred of his father. He whimpered "But you can't leave him like this..."

Sharon scoffed. "Trust me, you're better off with him like this. Maybe he'll actually provide you with a fresh breakfast every morning. You like eggs, don't you?"

The though of eating eggs that came out of his dad made Luke gagged a little. Getting nowhere fact, he tried pleading with her as a last resort. "I know he's been a real jerk to you, and he's not exactly the best guy around, but he doesn't deserve this! If you don't do it for him, then do it for me! Dad was my only family member left. If he's a bird then I don't have any adults to look after me. I don't want to be an orphan, being shuffled from foster home to foster home until I age out of the system. I'll have no future. Hurt my dad, fine, but do you really want to hurt me?"

Sharon seemed a little emotionally struck by his pleas. "You're right, I can't leave you to fend for yourself." A subtle flick of the wrist allowed her wand to slip down her sleeve and deftly into the palm of her hand. She rolled it between her fingers in thought, tilted her head slightly, then smiled. "Well I can easily fix that..."

She raised her wand high in the air. She spoke in tongues again and brought the wand back down, pointed directly at Luke. Unprepared, he tried to dodge the sparkling beam as it hit him hard in the stomach. He gripped where the beam struck him and hunched over in pain. He felt lighter than air, yet heavier than a rock simultaneously. He felt lost in his mind, his consciousness shoved back as he ran on autopilot. He was getting bigger, each growth spurt happening in regular pulses until he rapidly hulked out of his school clothes. His feet clenched inside of his shoes until they finally burst through the ends, revealing wide soles and long toes. As the hair atop his head seemed to get blown away by some unseen force, new hairs ripped through his skin and covered the rest of his body in quick succession.

Finally, the awful feeling Luke felt seemed to pass. He found himself loosening the scraps of fabric around his large feet. He yanked the tattered remains of his shirt off of his burly, hirsute torso, then did the same to the pants that clung to his meaty thighs. He stood up tall to his final height, panting from the excursion of transformation. It took him a minute to get his bearings back and understand what had just happened to him. The first thing he noticed was how he was now eye level with Sharon, who was eyeing him up and down with a devilish smile. He looked down himself, recoiling at the sight of his hair-coated, toned body. He looked at his hands, flipping them over in disbelief. They couldn't be his hands. They were huge and calloused, with dark hairs covering the backs. He scratched at his beard, then rubbed his bald head in utter confusion. "What did you do to me... Why am I so hairy and not... hairy..."

Sharon dramatically sighed. "Oh, you always were a slow one... Well your little speech about needing adult supervision gave me a little idea. I always thought you were more mature than your father. You acted more like a grown up than he ever did. So I gave you a bit of an age boost to make that more of a reality!"

Luke glanced around and rushed towards the kitchen window. He marvelled at his ghostly reflection. Instead of the child he usually saw, he'd been replaced with a bald and bearded man a good decade older than his father ever was. "So I'm... I'm older?" he mumbled, noting his gruffer voice.

"Not just older, but older than your old man! Well, back when he was still human anyway...". Sharon took a moment to revel in the way she twisted words to suit her magic. Turning a coward into a chicken is one thing, but turning a kid who tries to act older into an older man? She was on a roll today!

There wasn't much Luke liked about this moment at all. Sure he tended to be the voice of reason and acted more mature than his peers, but he didn't actually want to be an adult. He didn't know the first thing about being one! He knew the only way to fix things was to get on Sharon's good side. He turned back to her with a smile that would've looked sweet when he still a boy, but only looked creepy with his bearded mug. He said "So not that I'm complaining, I mean I like having a beard and, uhm, having muscles? But when I said I didn't to be an orphan, this was nowhere near the solution I wanted"

Sharon crossed her arms with a grin. "Well maybe if you'd kept your mouth shut and not tried to manipulate me into fixing chicken-boy over there with that little sob story of yours, you'd still be a cute little kid. But nope, you got what you wanted and what you deserved. You don't have to worry about adult supervision since you are one. Plus, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a job. I hear there's an opening at your dad's telemarketing company, you could say that somebody flew the coop!". Sharon burst out laughing, while Luke cringed. This wasn't going to plan for him...

After Sharon stopped laughing, she raised her wand once more. "Now I would love to stay longer, but I'm afraid I'm not into the older, daddy bear type. Toodle-oo!". Sharon spun her wand around the top of her head and appeared to vanish within a curtain of sparkles.

Luke stared at the empty space as the last glimmering sparkle disappeared, before falling to his knees. He felt confused and angry, despair and lost. Everything about the past 10 minutes made so little sense, it had to be a nightmare. Yet the latent throbbing he felt throughout his body proved that to be a fallacy. After wallowing in pity for a few minutes, Luke felt something brush against his arms. He looked back and saw his chicken-dad gazing at him with its empty eyes. Luke reached over and grabbed the bird, pulling it towards him in a heartfelt embrace. It didn't struggle or try to escape from him, which made him smile. Maybe his dad was still somewhere in that tiny chicken brain.

He pulled himself to his feet, his dad held firmly in his arms, and carried the bird towards the house. Despite everything that happened, Luke was hopeful about his situation. Magic truly exists! It turned his dad into a bird and himself into a man, which meant there had to be a way to reverse it! Whether it took him a few days, a few months, or a few years. Or maybe Sharon would feel guilty and return. Maybe. It wasn't like she just disappeared forever right? Luke placed his dad on the sofa and scratched at his beard in thought. He may have to invest in a chicken coop for the time being.