The Wonder Realms

So here's some BIG news! I imagine many of you are familiar with the works of Aardvark. He is a wonderful writer of AP and muscle growth fiction. So it has been an honour to collaborate with him with this new story which you can find over on his Tumblr. Keep your eyes peeled as it's not the only story we've been working on recently... Here's a little synopsis if you're interested.

THE WONDER REALMS

The Wonder Realms is closing for the night and Alton can't bare to leave the most amazing place on the planet. As a self-proclaimed 'Realmhead', he adores the theme park more than anything else. So when a chance encounter with a peculiar employee and a missing hat allow him the opportunity to spend the night in the realms, Alton jumps at the chance. But all is not as it seems as his sneaky antics tangle him up in the Wonder Realms' 50 year celebrated history in unexpected ways.



(Also, you may have noticed the new black button to the left. I decided to set up a little donation thing if anyone felt generous and wanted to support me and my writing. Thank you everyone for still sticking by and reading!)

Replacement Dad

The air was brimming with tension. Adam glanced nervously at the man sat in the armchair, a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands. He was a lean, scruffy man in his late forties wearing a plaid dressing gown that he'd retrieved for him after their unfortunate first meeting. They hadn't spoke for several minutes now. Adam was starting to sweat from anxiety, waiting for the stoic man to yell at him in anger. He took a long sip of coffee, then finally he looked Adam in the eye. Instead of anger, he spoke calmly with a bit of grit in his voice. "So tell me again what happened exactly."

Adam took a deep breath, and replied "I made a wish last night, and then it came true."

"And that wish was...?"

"For my best friend to be my real dad..."

"And that's why I'm now a 48 year old, widowed father of one? A botched wish?"

Adam was on the verge of tears. He said "I only meant it jokingly because you're so kind to me, and my real dad is so evil... I didn't know it would actually come true! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Captions

I've been having a bit of writer's block recently, so I thought instead of doing longer stories, I'd make some shorter captioned stories instead. I used a randomiser to pick out some pictures I have saved to see what I could come up with.

(Age Progression, Teen > Middle Age)

So let me go over the plan one last time. You want me to act as your dad so I can convince the school to let you join the drama club trip to New York despite the fact you're not a member? I dunno man, it's pretty convoluted. Wouldn't it be easier to join the club? We could always use another stagehand. It's just... This is different from playing a role, the costume has literally made me a father figure. Besides, what if they know what your dad looks like? We barely resembled each other before I grew up, and I definitely don't look like him now. No offence but I have more hair than him, I'm in much better shape, and I'm far more handsome too... Damn, I grew up to be awesome... Yeah yeah, I know! It's only "temporary", but can't I take a few minutes to check out the goods before I have to... Sigh, fine! But after I've nailed my greatest role by convincing the school board it would be discriminatory to not let you go on the trip, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity. We did split the costume fee after all, and I'm going to get my money's worth. I wonder if I can get into a bar without ID...

Santa Hat 12

All was busy at Matty's house as their family Christmas gathering was underway. Relatives of all ages were spread throughout the house waiting for the signal they could all exchange gifts; when Uncle Jim came down the stairs decked out like Santa. Little Matty was especially excited, he looked forward to the theatrics every winter. But this year, he had a special goal in mind. He sat waiting at the foot of the stairs for his uncle to come by and popped the question. "Uncle Jim, do you think that this year, I could wear the Santa suit? Pretty please?"

Jim stroked his large beard in thought. "I don't know... It takes a big man to fill those boots. Heck, I barely fit into the suit. Though that's because I've gotten a little too big over the years..." He slapped his big belly for emphasis.

With a frown, Matty whined "Come on, I wanna be Santa this year!"

"Hold on...". Jim grabbed the Santa hat off his bald head and placed it on his nephew's. It slipped down past his ears and covered half his face. Jim chuckled, his belly shaking, and said "Sorry buddy, looks like you have some growing to do before you get to wear the suit! Maybe next year."

Matty pulled the hat back to sit on his head and flared his nostrils in annoyance. Jim squeezed upstairs to get prepared for his act, leaving Matty alone in a huff. Not big enough... His uncle was such a large man, he'd never achieve such a size in time. If only there was a way to get big quickly... Alas, nothing came to mind. Still fuming, Matty muttered under his breath "I wish I was big enough to wear that suit..."

Vignettes: Black Friday

For the first time ever, the Magic Curiosities Emporium is having its very own Black Friday sale, and it's all thanks to me. It's been a few years since Master Mitawi offered me the opportunity to work under him as his apprentice. Well, more like forced me after aging me thirty-something years and refusing to turn me back into a teenager, but that's water under the bridge! I've grown to enjoy my line of work, and I've improved in my own magical skills. In fact, it was me who suggested we join the other shops in Black Friday. Mitawi was unconvinced, until I explained how we could deliver magic while reducing waste. We have so much junk in storage, stuff we couldn't even give away because it doesn't work right, or needs to be disposed of properly, or could be "dangerous" if you sold it and how could you even suggest giving a child one of... Ahem... So, we're having a little clearance sale while it's the right time for it.

The bulk of our clearance comes from expired potions. Yup, even potions have use-by dates and when they're no longer viable for consumption, we have a very delicate and complicated process of neutralising the effects before dumping them. Because the potions are still magic, and will still do what's intended. It's just that they come bundled with unwanted side effects. Or maybe it's a welcome side effect, It depends on who you ask. We do also have the occasional non-potion item on sale as well. Products we can't sell due to them being packaged wrong, or they don't work quite as intended. Normally they'd be locked away until their magical properties wear off. Now we're selling them at highly discounted prices! We've made quite a few sales today, which made my master happy, and of course, the ensuing chaos we created was a fun bonus.

A Furry Situation

I awoke first with a stir, followed by a jolt. I sat up and rubbed my head with a groan. It felt like i'd been whacked over the head with a shovel. Where was I anyway? I looked around to find that I was laying naked on top of my bed covers, my room was in its usual state of disarray as if a tornado had passed through. Something wasn't right though, what was I doing in my bedroom? I'd never dream of staying inside my cabin on my wild nights out. I'm usually out in the forest, deep in the wilderness. I imagine whatever made me come inside must be the cause of this splitting headache. It was difficult to recall what had happened last night. Let's see...

Luck of the Irish

Aiden cursed as he dug deep into his wardrobe to find something to wear. Why did he not own anything green? Every year he has this problem, and every year he forgets to solve it! He blasted through his clothes looking for something, anything, that had even the faintest hint of green on it. But there was nothing, not even a lousy sock. He slapped a hand to his face in frustration, he was going to get harassed by everyone in his class. Unless...

Ignored

Hal-Lolly-Ween

"Wait, where are you going? the good houses are this way."

"Didn't you hear? There's a rumor that Mr. Cravitz is actually doing Halloween this year!"

"Old Man Cravitz? The guy who tries to get the city to ban trick or treating every single year? Yeah, no. That's a hard pass..."

"Come on, I heard he's giving out something real special."

"Are we talking about the same man here? Everyone knows to never disturb him on Halloween, lest you face the wrath of Old Man Cravitz!"

"Maybe he's had a change of heart, like a Halloween Scrooge."

"Oh yeah, Jack Skellington showed him the errors of his ways and he totally gets the true meaning of Halloween... Whatever he's handing out, it's probably poisoned."

"Fine, I'll go get my awesome, speciality treat alone if you're going to be a chicken about it!"

I left Jack behind and strolled down the short side-street that dead-ends at Mr. Cravitz's house. Another kid passed me in the opposite direction. I vaguely recognize him from the year above me in school, Frankie or something? He had a glum look on his face, probably disappointed by the lack of Halloween festivity in the air. None of the houses had their lights on, a bowl of candy on the porch, or even a pumpkin. What a load of killjoys. Despite the lack of decoration, this street always gives me the creeps. And Mr. Cravitz's house is the creepiest of all. It's a shame the guy's such a buzzkill, this would make an awesome haunted house. At least he's warming up to the holiday, if the rumors are true. Though looking around, there aren't many takers. Just a couple of grouchy, middle aged guys giving me an icy glare, I could just feel their loathing of Halloween. Probably friends of Old Man Cravitz...

Flew The Coop

As Luke stepped off his school bus, he immediately picked up on the sound of loud arguing coming from the direction of his house. He rolled his eyes, it was obviously his dad arguing with his girlfriend again. Or rather, his ex girlfriend as of the previous week when he unceremoniously dumped her via text message. Knowing how hot-headed his dad could get when he was upset, Luke hurried to the door in the hopes of maybe cooling the situation a bit. He entered the house, dumped his school bag on the floor, and followed the sounds of discontent to the kitchen.

The back door was open, so Luke peeked his head round to see the two in mid-argument in the back yard. He expected to see his dad screaming right in his ex's face, yet was surprised to instead see him cowering in the corner of the yard. More worryingly, he held his hands out to block his face as the vengeful woman approached him. Her arm was held high, a thin, jagged rod clutched in her hand. Luke thought she was going to strike him. Instead, she pointed it downwards at his dad and yelled something unintelligible. A beam of sparkling light jettisoned out of its tip, striking his dad square in the chest.