Morning Pranks

It was the morning following a very successful sleepover for Jackson and Bart. They'd stayed up watching scary movies with lots of snacks, and very little adult supervision. For the most part, his embarrassing dad had kept to himself for the evening. And now, the following morning, the two boys were battling each other in the newest Boulevard Brawler game. Things were going well until Bart finally piped up.

"Your dad's acting weird today."

His dad was always weird, Jackson thought to himself. But it was true, he'd been even weirder this morning. It all started when Bart woke him up from a blissful sleep, having crept out of the room to use the bathroom, only to find it occupied. Inside, his dad was in his undies, staring at himself in the mirror and flexing at himself. He even grabbed his phone so he could take some selfies, until he finally noticed the two boys giggling uncontrollably in the doorway. 

That wasn't too weird, his dad was pretty egotistical about his huge size, and masculine appearance. He worked out most days, when he wasn't on the construction site putting those muscles to good use. He even had beard paraphernalia around the house because he was obsessed with his bushy facial fur. But Jackson had never actually seen him acting so narcissistic. Maybe this is what he was like behind closed doors. And that was just the start of it.

Glitter Bomb

Trent yawned and stretched his arms as he stumbled downstairs. He wasn't usually awake this early, but today was a special day; it was his sixteenth birthday. And it wasn't just any old birthday, it was a Leap Year birthday. He was used to having his birthday on the wrong day, so whenever February 29th came around, it was cause for a proper celebration on his proper birth day, the day he could only celebrate every four years.

The smell of roasted coffee wafted in the air, his mom already awake and making his favorite breakfast. And in the living room, there was already a small pile of gifts and cards for him to open. Trent didn't want to open anything until the rest of his family were there, but cards were always a go-to. He tore through the pile of envelopes, smiling at the thoughtful messages his parents wrote, and frowning at the 4th birthday jabs from his friends. His brother even got him a card made for pre-schoolers with dancing, rectangular dogs that wished him a bonzer birthday, whatever that meant. After opening another card from a distant relative with a $10 bill inside, he came to the last card in the pile. It looked a little haphazard, and he could feel something other than the card on the inside. He didn't recognise the handwriting at all, but that wasn't much of a concern. It wasn't like he knew everyone who'd sent him a card by their script. But this one felt different. Out-of-place...

Trent opened the envelope, a small smirk slipping his lips. It was a picture of a prune wearing a birthday hat. Wildly different from the other cards he'd received. Then he opened the card itself, and was immediately blinded by a puff of smoke and glitter. He dropped the card on the table, coughing as he tried wiping the offensive dust away from his eyes. Who would do something so stupid?? He grabbed the card again to find out who to yell at.

Dear Trent

Happy "16th" Birthday! What a day to celebrate it on!

Love

X

He scratched his head, confused. There was no name to who sent it, just a cross. He sighed, trying to put the memory of the glitter bomb aside. At least they signed it with him celebrating his sixteenth, unlike his immature friends. He may have been born in a leap year, but he didn't find the whole "your real age is a quarter what it actually is" thing funny. Then again, he noticed the sendee put 16th in quotations. What was that about?

He dropped the card down again, and sighed as he looked at his hands. They were coated in that fine glitter from inside the card. Plus, a load of it clung to his night-shirt in a shimmering mess. He didn't even want to think of what his face looked like. He yanked his shirt off over his head, and chucked it in the laundry room. But before he left, he noticed something peculiar on his chest. A faint itch that spread across his skin. When he rubbed his chest, it felt almost gritty to the touch. Had the glitter managed to seep through his shirt? That didn't make sense. He ignored the feeling for now, heading back upstairs to have a good shower. He grunted as he climbed, his knees feeling peculiarly sore. He tried to recall doing any exercise recently, but his thoughts felt hazy.

The Ideal Valentine

The night was young, and Miles was getting frisky with his girlfriend, Jackie. The two had been together for three years now, and their Valentine's Day had only begun. After a wonderful night out, there was only one thing on the lovers' minds. However, as soon as their lovemaking entered the honeymoon suite they'd booked for the night, Jackie paused a rowdy Miles as she rummaged in her underwear drawer. "I wanted to do something extra special for tonight, so I got us these." She held out two little bottles of shimmering liquid, dropping one into his open hands. "Drink this while I get into something more comfortable, and we'll have a night to remember!"

With that, Jackie slipped into the bathroom to freshen up. However, Miles had a few Valentine's plans of his own. He left the vial on Jackie's vanity table, then reached under the bed to pull out a box of treasures. He sprinkled some rose petals on the bed, lit a few scented candles, and dug out the box of premium chocolates and champagne. Then came to the pièce de résistance; a pair of tearaway briefs with a heart-print pattern that cupped his junk just so. He had this Valentine's thing in the can.

Finally, Miles got around to the small bottle his girlfriend had given him. It was a vibrant purple, with a peculiar sparkle. He noticed that the vial had a sticker on the front, a circle sitting atop a cross. He cocked his head, it was the universal symbol for women, and femininity. Why did Jackie want him to drink this? Then again, she was somewhat into witchcraft in a cutesy, fashion way. It was probably some sort of aphrodisiac she'd found online, made to spice the evening up a little. A way to find his inner women, and better understand how to pleasure her, perhaps. He uncorked the vial, and sniffed the contents. Sweet notes, with a floral undertone. Well, bottoms up.

"AAAHHHHH!!"