Plausible Deniability

PART ONE 

There had been a commotion at the Big Dipper. Nobody knew for sure what had happened. The queue and surrounding area had been evacuated suddenly, and roped off for over two hours now. Rumors were swirling, as they do when the public are left in the dark. Sensible, level-headed folk talked of water pump issues and bodily wastes in the pool. The more outlandish, and louder, folk claimed a young boy had gone down the slide and met an untimely end. He'd been launched off the water coaster by the powerful jets, and crashed into the nearby tanning spot. Or a crocodile had gotten loose and chomped him up as he came off the slide. Or even some dangerous chemical spilled into the water and liquified him to a fine paste. Why else would there be people in bio-hazard suits prowling the site? Whatever had happened, it was not a good day for Splashdown Adventure Park.

But as with all tragedies, the hype eventually died down as guests moved on with their vacation. Only half a dozen people still watched the action from the ice cream shop balcony, the only vantage point not closed off. "They're still testing the water," a guy said aloud as one of the suited men took another sample from the pool. "I wonder what they're trying to learn."

"Apparently, some experimental fertilizer got dumped into the pool, and the boy that went down the slide was exposed to it. Turned him into this huge, hairy adult with bulging muscles. Kinda like me. That's what I heard, anyway."

The guy cocked his head as he stared at the bald, brawny man a good decade older than him, before breaking out into a harsh cackle. "That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard this morning!" He brayed as he whacked the dismayed man on the back. "Oh thanks, pal. I needed a laugh like that. Literal magical bullshit turning a kid into a man, ha HAH!"

Miles frowned as the guy turned away, still chuckling to himself. "It's not stupid..." He mumbled under his breath. "Now being melted by chemicals, that's stupid..."

Splashdown!

It felt like it would never come, but today was finally the day... Splashdown Adventure Park day! Chase and Miles had been hyping up the visit to the water park for weeks. It had become like an annual pilgrimage for the best friends, with Miles' parents even splashing out for a private cabana to relax as the boys were set free on the water slides. The two of them could practically track their growth spurts as they evolved from toddler splash pools to family raft rides to solo body slides. And now they had their eyes on the real big kid slides they'd previously been too short to ride, with the thrills and spills that came with them.

As soon as they arrived and dumped their belongings in the cabana, they ran straight for the newest, coolest ride of all - The Big Dipper. It was the fastest, tallest, longest, and coincidentally, the only water-coaster slide in the state. It was still under construction when they visited last year, so it was kind of a big deal. It also had the tallest height restriction in the park. The air was tense as Miles stepped up first. The park employee measured him against the height chart, but it wasn't even needed. He passed the 48 inch requirement and then some. No surprises there.

Next up was Chase, his heart beating hard. His head just about grazed the bottom of the bar. He almost jumped for joy, until the employee looked down. "No footwear allowed," he said a little too cheerfully. Chase gulped as he removed his sandals, along with a half-inch of his height, and any hope of riding the Big Dipper that year.

"I don't have to go on without you," Miles said, obvious disappointment in his voice. "I bet it's dumb anyway. You're supposed to go down slides, not up them."

"No, no," Chase sighed. "It wouldn't be fair of me to stop you, it's all you talked about in the car up here... Go ride it, and I'll meet you back at the wave pool."

So Chase left his best friend to join the twenty minute queue alone, deciding instead to pull up a rubber tube and unwind on the lazy river for a couple of loops before it got too busy. Then he hopped in line for the Orca Run speed chutes, at least he was tall enough to do those, before walking back past the Big Dipper. The line had shortened considerably. In fact, it was practically non-existent. It must have been the early lunch lull. He was tempted to try his luck again, but that same employee was posted outside the entrance. He sighed, and walked back to the cabana where Miles' parents were waiting for the duo to return.

Except they weren't there... It was a good thing Chase turned up. All of their belongings were left unattended. Even one of their phones was abandoned on a lounge chair. It was like they'd left in a hurry. They didn't have to worry about beating the lunch rush since they could order directly to the cabana. So where did they go? Something weird was going on... 

Take Your Pick

This was supposed to be a weekend of fun for the Cohen family. Little Rafael was supposed to be at home with his chill babysitter while his parents went on a romantic getaway to a special hotel for adults only. He was going to order takeout, and stay up all night watching the R rated films he wasn't allowed to. That is, until the babysitter got some severe food poisoning, and there wasn't anyone who could care for the young boy at the last minute. It was also too late to cancel the trip to get a refund. So here he was, bored out of his wits while his parents stood at the front desk doing everything they could to convince the hotel to let him stay.

After what felt like forever, they finally convinced the employee manning the front desk to take it up to the manager, who took one look at Rafael playing on his Switch Lite, and smirked. "Don't worry," he told his parents. "You're not the first couple to end up in this predicament here. We have a special procedure for moments like this." 

He then nodded to the concierge, who nodded back and left her post. The woman held a hand out to Rafael with a warm smile. "Come on," she said. "I'll take you to a super special room while your parents work out all the boring stuff."

Rafael followed her as she led them through an unmarked door. As they left, he heard the manager say, "how would you like an upgrade for your troubles? A cute couple like you should love our hon-" before the door closed on him.

A few twisty corridors later, and Rafael found himself inside a sterile room with dark walls, and modern furniture. Off to the side, he could see a small bathroom that was just as bland. It looked more like a doctor's office than a playroom. Why they thought this was a good place to wait was beyond him. At least the lobby had that cool water fountain and a few plants to brighten up the room.

The woman hadn't followed him inside, so he made himself uncomfortable on one of the dull chairs until she burst through the door carrying a cumbersome cardboard box. She stopped in the center and carefully tipped its contents out onto the floor. Rafael's eyes widened, it was a bunch of toys! A very weird selection of toys. Cuddly toys, action figures, board games, trading cards, even a few game consoles. He could feel his hands twitching as he wanted to rummage through himself, but the concierge lady stopped him.

"Ah-ah-ah," she chided. "You're only allowed to choose one toy. Then we'll begin the process."

Only one toy!? Rafael frowned. That was hardly fair when there were dozens to choose from. And he had to be the only kid at the resort, it wasn't like he had to share! Still, there was a sense that this was an important decision. He quickly discarded the girls toys like the plushies and the dolls from the equation, not wanting to even touch them. Then he reluctantly discarded the video game consoles, since there was no TV to connect them to. In the end, from the meager selection left, he reached out and grabbed a colorful 9x9 square cube. 

The woman nodded her head in approval. "Ah, the Rubik's Cube. An interesting choice. The most popular Christmas gift in 1980, if you didn't know. Not too old, but still a little retro." She ruffled his hair with a smile, and pointed back to the chairs. "Now go and sit down while the grown ups work out this little mess you've managed to put us in."

Hidden Cove, Hidden Intentions

"I don't think we're allowed out here," Oscar grumbled as he tip-toed through the overgrown path. "Did you see those signs? It looked like a bunch of warnings..."

"Ah, you worry too much, bud!" Ron grinned. "I did some research before the trip, and this place cropped up! It's off-the-radar, untouched by the masses." As they stumbled down the rocky path, they stepped into the secluded cove of Tānetanga and they both gaped. "See? Paradise! And look, there are other people here. So much for warnings."

Oscar looked at the other people, subconsciously noting a heavy presence of men. It was a pretty looking beach, but he would still rather be at the large beach where everyone else was, where the ice cream truck was, and that super-cool inflatable slide floating just off shore. But he rarely got to spend time with his dad. He was surprised his mom even let them go on vacation, just the two of them. She always complained about him. How he's always late on child support, he only shows up when he needs something, that he's a charlatan, whatever that was. So to allowed them to go all the way to New Zealand must mean that she trusts him for once.

As he walked down toward the beach, Oscar felt a tingle in his feet. The familiar warmth of the sun-baked sand spread across his soles. Except he was wearing flip-flops and standing in the shade. When he did step out into the sun, the intensity increased until it spread throughout his body. He'd never felt such a curious warmth. It was like he was wrapped in a particularly uncomfortable sweater. 

Ron shook out his fold-up chair and draped it with a beach towel, before collapsing into the seat with a sigh. While Oscar had only brought a towel with him, which he carefully spread out on the sand. He could still feel that warmth. Even stripped down to his swimming trunks, it left him feeling sticky.

"Dad, I feel weird..."

"It's all that sugar you had before we left."

"No, it's something else... I don't like it here, can we go?"

"What? We just got here! At least give it a chance!" Ron looked up and pointed to the ocean. "Hey, there's another kid here. Why don't you go play with him?"

"Him?" Oscar asked, squinting at the figure. "He has to be, like, five years older than me. He won't want anything to do with me."

"You won't know until you go and ask, champ. Now go! Have fun!"

Ron gave him a little shove, and shooed him away. Oscar stomp-kicked his way through the sand with a scowl. His dad never listened to him. He was too busy with his weird conspiracy podcasts and get rich quick schemes that never seemed to work. Not that it stopped him from being drawn to every MLM or snake oil salesman imaginable. But he couldn't let that bother him now. Knowing his dad, he'd probably get bored after ten minutes and they'll stroll back to the hotel.

New Beginnings

For the past several months, Jonathan had been stuck in a rut. something didn't feel right, and he couldn't place a finger on it. He had a respectable, well-paying job at a regional publishing company, he was in the best of health for a man of his age, relatively trim with a winning smile, a youthful visage, and a full head of thick, blond-grey hair. Yet despite his enviable position in life, he just didn't feel satisfied at all. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to work, come home, bed. Perhaps his job was to blame. It had consumed his life, he hadn't even taken a vacation in nearly two years. But he'd always been a go-getter, right from his first day on the job, which was... how many years ago now? Unfortunately, an unassuming letter left on his desk would bare the terrible news.

30 YEARS AT PLACEHOLDER PUBLISHING - AND MANY MORE TO COME!

30 years working in publishing. 3 whole decades. Johnathan turned to the floor-to-ceiling windows in his office, staring out to space. Surely at one point, he had far bigger plans that didn't involve sitting behind a desk for more than half his life. Right? He had initially joined Placeholder as a temporary means to support his growing family. But he became comfortable. Sure, he'd made a name for himself, rose through the ranks until he had his own private office, with a secretary and a six-figure salary. But what had he really accomplished? Even the family plan backfired years ago, not a surprise given how he married the first woman he knocked up. One messy divorce, and a stressful custody battle later, he was alone in the two-bedroom family home he invested in so many years ago. His little boy was now a man himself, leading a very different life in a very different country, a life that no longer included him outside of the seldom birthday or holiday. If his past self could look at him now, he'd likely hate the man he had become. 

It was this crushing realisation that had led Jonathan to wander downtown straight after work. He had to prove to himself that there was more to his life than his work. He could still be impulsive and spontaneous. Which is when he came across a mysterious shop. Inside was a menagerie of unique and curious items. All with ridiculous claims of magic and power. He'd only seen shops like this in the movies. As he browsed the shelves, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He flinched and spun around, coming face to face with a stocky man around his own age, with thinning hair and a bushy mustache. The man tapped his foot impatiently, pointing to the tacky watch around his thick wrist.

"I'm closing in five. You looking for something specific?"

"Oh, well... I don't know really. I was just browsing..."

"Great, one'a these guys..." The man grumbled under his breath with a slump of the shoulders. "Look, the Boss-Man's got some intense magic training planned, and he does not like to be kept waiting. So if you don't mind, I'm just gonna..." He trailed off as he cracked his knuckles, and rubbed his palms together

"Magic training? What nonse-" Jonathan began to ask when the man suddenly snapped his hands up to his forehead, his rough fingers pressed firm against his temples. He mumbled something under his breath, and Johnathan felt a tightness in his chest, like he was holding his breath. A tightness that relieved once he opened his mouth and blurted out, "I need something to fix my life! I always dreamed of excitement and adventure and travelling the world! Instead, I'm stuck in a nowhere job, with an ex-wife, and a son who doesn't speak to me and lives in fucking Korea! How did this happen to me? I had plans... I just need a second chance..."

"Ah, classic mid-life crisis," the man chuckled as he released his grip on Jonathan's head, who felt faint as he tried to gather his breath once more. "Too easy." He strolled down the preceding aisle with determination, swiping a few products as if by random. Jonathan frowned, he wasn't having a midlife crisis. He had no desire for fast cars and trophy wives. This was a perfectly normal way to feel when things weren't going according to plan. Before he could complain, the man popped back with a glass tube containing a glittery block. "You're lucky I concocted a few of these last week for one of the Boss-Man's assignments; life trade tablets," he declared with gusto. "Crush it with the person whose life you want, and you'll trade places. You get a fancy new livelihood to spice things up, and they get whatever funky mess you've got going on. Simple."

Jonathan gazed into the tube with uneasy curiousity. Normally he'd consider such statements as foolish nonsense. But there was something about the shimmering tablet that called out to him. "We just crush it? There's no ritual or incantation or spooky voodoo shit?" He wiggled his fingers for dramatic effect, a motion the man rolled his eyes at. "Do I at least need consent from the other person beforehand?"

"Sure, if you want. Or don't. What do I care? Whatever gets your pitiable ass out of this store, so I can lock up." He was pretty blunt for a shopkeeper, and Jonathan wasn't sold on the concept. But this was exactly his problem, he wasn't spontaneous enough, stuck in his ways. So he shoved those thoughts aside and took the plunge. Now all he needed was someone he could swap with.

Morning Pranks

It was the morning following a very successful sleepover for Jackson and Bart. They'd stayed up watching scary movies with lots of snacks, and very little adult supervision. For the most part, his embarrassing dad had kept to himself for the evening. And now, the following morning, the two boys were battling each other in the newest Boulevard Brawler game. Things were going well until Bart finally piped up.

"Your dad's acting weird today."

His dad was always weird, Jackson thought to himself. But it was true, he'd been even weirder this morning. It all started when Bart woke him up from a blissful sleep, having crept out of the room to use the bathroom, only to find it occupied. Inside, his dad was in his undies, staring at himself in the mirror and flexing at himself. He even grabbed his phone so he could take some selfies, until he finally noticed the two boys giggling uncontrollably in the doorway. 

That wasn't too weird, his dad was pretty egotistical about his huge size, and masculine appearance. He worked out most days, when he wasn't on the construction site putting those muscles to good use. He even had beard paraphernalia around the house because he was obsessed with his bushy facial fur. But Jackson had never actually seen him acting so narcissistic. Maybe this is what he was like behind closed doors. And that was just the start of it.

No Refunds

It was an unusually quiet day in the store. So quiet, I actually had time to finish the crossword in the newspaper without a single disturbance. I suppose money is tight nowadays. But even the reliable window shoppers hadn't turned up. I was considering closing up early when the bell above the door tinkled. Finally, a customer.

"Hey! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

I frowned. A customer. There goes my quiet afternoon... I turned around to see a stout man with a round, bearded face striding towards me with a sour expression. "Ah, Mr. Grant," I chimed pleasantly. "How lovely it is to see you again." The man paused mid-stride, clearly surprised that I remembered him. But it's my job to remember every single person that enters through those doors, regardless of current appearances. It still gave me a smug feeling every time, however. I asked him, "What appears to be the problem."

Grant snapped out of his stupor, and grunted. "Isn't it obvious? Look at me!" He waved his hands up and down his bulky body.

"Yes, you're a man now, just like you wanted." Grant was a young lad the previous day, just on the cusp of pubescence. Like many of the youths who enter the shop, he was desperate for a means to grow up, to become an adult. And like many of them, I had exactly the means to do so. In Grant's case, I had a box of aging cream I was just about to throw away before he turned up. I thought it was luck, although it appears things have turned sour... I switched tactics, and said with a sly wink, "And might I add, you've grown into quite the handsome gentleman."

"Shut up!" He growled, slamming a carrier bag down onto the counter with a sharp thud. So much for sweet talk. "I'm not handsome, I'm old! This isn't what I wanted at all! I want a refund."

Bigger

Want to be bigger? CLICK HERE!

Jerry stared at the ad on his phone. He only wanted to look up a walkthrough to a game he'd gotten stuck on. Then the video he'd chosen was interrupted by an ad break, as was typical. However, the ad choice was unusual. Even weirder, it didn't end. There was no timer counting down the remaining seconds. No X to close that would resume his video. Despite the irregularity, Jerry remained transfixed by those six simple words.

Because of course, he wanted to be bigger. It was his strongest desire, one he hadn't told anyone before. Not that they'd be surprised. What eleven-year-old didn't want to? And here was this intrusive advert, just begging him to interact. He knew not to click on dodgy links, that was basically Internet Safety 101. Yet, that innate desire of his, to be bigger than he was, it was too much. He squinted his eyes, and tapped the glowing link, before releasing a breath he didn't even realise he was holding. 

As the page loaded, Jerry dwelled on his predicament. It just wasn't fair. He was the shortest kid in his class. He was the thinnest, too. His best friend used to be as short as he was. Then he had a major growth spurt, leaving him in the dust. Everyone seemed to tower over him. His dad would always laugh it off, saying he was also the runt when he was the same age. But now he was tall, and broad, and so much bigger than everyone else in the family. It just wasn't fair, he'd waited years for that hypothetical growth spurt, when was it even going to happen? He wanted to be bigger now!

Finally, the website loaded. It was a garish looking piece of work that Jerry would have immediately backed out of, were it not for its promise. Still, it looked like it was made by an amateur in the early days of the internet, with pixellated GIFs, bold colours, and mismatching fonts. In the centre was a single message.

Do You want to be BIGGER? The biggest in your CLASS? In your SCHOOL?? Even bigger than your DAD???

Follow our INSTANT embiggening plan below!!!

BIGGER

Jerry raised an eyebrow. That was a little too specific, almost as if it were aimed at him. But surely he wasn't the only one... With a small bit of hesitation, he tapped the blue link. As the page loaded, his phone sparked. He jumped back in shock, dropping it on the floor. He slammed a palm into his forehead, why would he do something so foolish!? Had he busted his phone? Was it now a virus-ridden block? His parents were gonna ground him for a year! It was a hand-me-down, too... Carefully, he picked the phone up, and sighed in relief. The screen still worked, and it wasn't cracked either. The website now displayed a progress bar. 

EMBIGGENING - 3%.

Better Treatment

Scott grunted as he pushed a lawnmower around his neighbor's yard. It was freezing outside, and there was still frost on the ground. Yet even though he couldn't see over the handles, he persisted. He knew he hadn't been the best boy this year, but even this wasn't worth getting into Santa's good books. He grumbled, recalling how Mr. Drummer suggested to his mom that he could do good deeds around his house to appease those watchful elves that reported on his daily doings. Scott knew the grump only wanted some free labor, for him to do the stuff he didn't want to. But he couldn't back down now. They were so close to Christmas, he could make it on the nice list, and get that Lego set he'd been dreaming of.

Speak of the devil, Drummer came out from the house wearing a bulky overcoat that clung to his belly, and a knitted hat atop his bald cranium. He stopped at the border between grass and pavement, and shook his head with a tut. "You won't be finished by sundown at this rate."

"Couldn't I have a break? My back is killing me..."

"Wait until you're my age, then we can talk about backs," Drummer grumbled back. "You wouldn't complain so much if you did your own chores at home. Now you know how your poor mother feels."

"Yeah, yeah..." Scott gave another push of the lawnmower, the motor vibrations shuddering up his arms. "But surely this could have waited until after Christmas? I can barely push the thing..."

"Ah, quit whining!" As Scott came closer, Drummer proceeded to pull a Santa hat from inside his coat, and hastily shoved it onto the boy's head. "There we go, may as well be festive while you're out here. When you're done with the lawn, I'll find you something warmer to do. Cleaning the stove, maybe..." He wandered back to the house with a cackle.

Scott groaned. His neighbor was deliberately making this tough for him. They weren't exactly on good terms after he knocked a tennis ball into his greenhouse, but this was too far. He sighed. "I wish Mr. Drummer would treat me better..." But that was as likely as catching Santa in the act. After a moment of self-pity, he got back to mowing the lawn.

Long-Distance Spell

I was busy working on a report for work when my quiet time was rudely interrupted by my son yelling down the hallway. Without warning, Chris burst into my study and yelled, "He's gonna do it!"

I sighed. "Who's going to do what?"

"Grandpa!" He was brimming with excitement. "He's going to do the spell!"

"Aha..." I mumbled as I turned back to my screen, trying to recall what I was writing. That old coot was always bragging about his supposed magical abilities with nothing to show for it. 

"Don't you remember? I told him how you always tell me to grow up and stop acting like a baby, and he got all annoyed?"

"Oh, I remember," I replied with a sour expression. "But your grandpa isn't a wizard, no matter how much he believes it. You really must grow out of these fantasies..."

"Yeah, like that! He said he knew a spell to help me, and that he'd also help you reconnect with your childhood since you're a pain in the butt that needs to learn manners."

"Charming..." That man has had it out for me ever since I had that little affair and broke it off with my, um, lovely ex-wife. Honestly, I'd love to cut that whole, weird family out of my life, but Chris was too close to them, he wouldn't understand... I tried to shoo him away, until my computer screen started to flicker.

The air felt like static. I turned to look at Chris, who had a grin on his face. "I think it's starting! I'm gonna go watch!" He ran out of the room. I felt uneasy. Why did the room feel so peculiar? There was no chance the spell was real, right?

Fortunes Told

"Look what I found in my pocket!" I glanced up from my phone, and watched as Jonesy produced a large cigar with a big grin. "Isn't that cool?" He chuckled, putting it up to his lips like he was smoking.

 "Hey, don't smoke it!" I cried, trying to reach up and snatch it from him. But Jonesy had the height and weight advantage, keeping me a fair distance away until I stopped thrashing. Then he poked his tongue out at me. Real mature... I grunted, "Are you even allowed to smoke here?"

"First of all, I can do whatever I want since I'm an adult. Besides, I made sure to check before we entered and, as long as we stay in this area, it's allowed."

"Why would you check for a smoking area?"

"In case I wanted to smoke!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed as Jonesy produced a lighter from another pocket. Where was he getting this stuff from... "So you've never smoked in your life, and just wanted to start because...?"

"That's just the kind of guy I am now. I don't know why you're so hung up on it. Unless..." He waggled his eyebrows from beneath his sunglasses as he leaned in closer, then whispered in my ear, "you're jealous..."

I swatted Jonesy away, and he fell into a laughing fit, almost dropping his cigar in the process. I buried my head in the menu to hide my reddening cheeks. He was right, I was jealous. Not that I was going to admit it to Jonesy's stupid, bald, wrinkly, old face. It wasn't because I wanted to smoke, that's just disgusting. It's the other thing... The fact that my baby bro was now some big, old muscle man. Not only that, but he keeps acting more like an actual adult, and I'm beginning to forget he was even my brother...

Into The Convention

 So in an unusual turn of events, I'm throwing out a spoiler warning. If you haven't seen Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, then I suggest you do so before reading this. Otherwise, enjoy!

It was a bright weekend morning at the World Plaza Hotel, and the lobby was buzzing with activity. The annual comic convention had come to town, bringing hundreds of cosplaying fanatics to the hotel. The conference halls were packed and everyone was ready for a good time. Everyone except Andy. He stared out of his hotel room window, too high to even make out what was happening down below, and sighed.

The only reason he came on this trip was the convention. When he found our his dad was staying at the hotel for a business trip on the same weekend, Andy pleaded to tag along for the ride. His dad eventually broke down, but there was a catch. Since the trip was strictly for work purposes, they could only visit the convention in the afternoon. Andy reluctantly obliged but in hindsight, he may as well have stayed home given how he couldn’t even leave the room by himself.

At least he still could watch his favourite movie as much as he wanted. He was already on his third rewatch that day. But it was so good, he couldn't bring himself to watch anything else. Plus, it helped hype him up for his first convention. He jumped back on his bed and grinned as an animated Spider-Man appeared on screen. Andy was the biggest Spider-Man fan, maybe ever. He'd seen every movie, every cartoon series, and read some of the old comics that they kept in the library. He even dreamed of Spider-Man every night. His favourite? Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, obviously. It had not one Spider-Man, but multiple Spider-People! He had almost memorised the script to heart. Yet not even the thrill and hilarity of Miles Morales discovering his new powers could quieten his mind.

Andy looked to his suitcase, where his very own Spider-Man costume lay waiting, his thoughts turning to the previous day. He peeked into one of the conference halls while his dad checked into the hotel, and they were still setting everything up. As he walked away in disappointment, he accidentally bumped into an old man with a thick moustache and sent several boxes crashing to the floor. Of course, he offered to help clean up the mess as any do-gooder would do. He was tickled to learn that the old man was a costume vendor who dabbled in comic and movie accurate outfits. Andy was desperate to see what Spider-Man costumes he had, but his dad interrupted them before he could ask. The old man handed him a business card before scurrying back into the conference room. Andy shoved it into his pocket without even a glance. 

The movie had reached the end of its first act, and Andy was tearing up. No matter how many times he saw it, the moment where Spider-Man sacrificed himself to save Miles always packed a heavy punch. The city had come to a halt to hold a memorial service for Peter Parker, and Miles was preparing to purchase a costume in remembrance. Andy wiped away his tears and shuffled closer to the screen as Miles approached the counter. The shop owner looked mighty familiar. Any Marvel fan worth their weight would recognise the moustachioed old man, but Andy had someone else in mind... He dug into his pockets and pulled out the card he was given. It was solid black with gold lettering. 

JK/SL COSTUMING - THE COSTUME OF YOUR DREAMS

Andy chuckled softly as he wiped a thumb over the embossed words. His dream was to be like Spider-Man, but that was never going to happen. Radioactive spiders weren't real, let alone super powers. He'd done enough research online to know that much. He dropped the card on the floor and looked back up to the screen. He didn't notice as the card shimmered in the window light beam.

More Captions!

Here are a few more captions for you guys to whet your appetites while I work on something a bit more substantial. Enjoy them!

(Age Swap, Young Adult < > Middle Age)

This app I downloaded is incredible! I was bored, as usual, and was looking for things to do when I came across it, the Life Changer. It looked like a Sims knock-off but I had nothing better to do. It asked a few questions, I took a selfie, and soon enough, there was this cartoonish avatar of myself on the screen. But there were options to change my avatar in so many ways, it was disorienting. I decided to try one thing, the life swap button. When I pressed it, it came up with options for everyone in a mile radius to me. My family, my neighbours, my friends. I didn't know so many people downloaded this app, but I didn't want any of them to be my avatar. 

I finally came across an unfamiliar face who wasn't butt-ugly. Jackson Reed, a buff looking man who lived outside of town, a personal fitness coach, and was currently in the park. He sounded perfect. I tapped the accept button and expected my avatar to change into that person. But what actually happened was surprising and so much better. I suddenly shot up in the air, gaining inches in seconds. My flabby body slimmed down in an instant, followed by a rapid bulking up of every muscle in my body. New hairs swirled across my chest and down my rock hard abs. In the mirror, I saw my face get more angular and my patchy stubble increased in density until I had a proper beard. Then wrinkles and grey hairs appeared.

As things came to an end, I leant against the doorway panting. I was huge! And so hairy... I had to take a picture to prove to myself it was real! I snatched the cap off my head, gasping at the sight of my bald head, then covered my crotch with it. There! I took the pics and chucked the hat to the side. My cock was so big and veiny now. I brushed a hand over my buff, hairy body with a smile. I stroked my scalp, shuddering at the feeling of my bald head. That would take some getting used to. Because there was no way I was swapping back! In fact, I quickly uninstalled the app before I could swap back. I feel a little bad for Jackson though, ending up with my previously unimpressive body. He's probably confused as heck, swimming in his baggy clothes as he tries to convince people he was a big muscleman only minutes earlier... Whelp, I can't help him now! He'll come to appreciate being a college drop-out eventually. Possibly. Meanwhile, I'm going to give my new mature body a night on the town!

Hal-Lolly-Ween

"Wait, where are you going? the good houses are this way."

"Didn't you hear? There's a rumor that Mr. Cravitz is actually doing Halloween this year!"

"Old Man Cravitz? The guy who tries to get the city to ban trick or treating every single year? Yeah, no. That's a hard pass..."

"Come on, I heard he's giving out something real special."

"Are we talking about the same man here? Everyone knows to never disturb him on Halloween, lest you face the wrath of Old Man Cravitz!"

"Maybe he's had a change of heart, like a Halloween Scrooge."

"Oh yeah, Jack Skellington showed him the errors of his ways and he totally gets the true meaning of Halloween... Whatever he's handing out, it's probably poisoned."

"Fine, I'll go get my awesome, speciality treat alone if you're going to be a chicken about it!"

I left Jack behind and strolled down the short side-street that dead-ends at Mr. Cravitz's house. Another kid passed me in the opposite direction. I vaguely recognize him from the year above me in school, Frankie or something? He had a glum look on his face, probably disappointed by the lack of Halloween festivity in the air. None of the houses had their lights on, a bowl of candy on the porch, or even a pumpkin. What a load of killjoys. Despite the lack of decoration, this street always gives me the creeps. And Mr. Cravitz's house is the creepiest of all. It's a shame the guy's such a buzzkill, this would make an awesome haunted house. At least he's warming up to the holiday, if the rumors are true. Though looking around, there aren't many takers. Just a couple of grouchy, middle aged guys giving me an icy glare, I could just feel their loathing of Halloween. Probably friends of Old Man Cravitz...

Flew The Coop

As Luke stepped off his school bus, he immediately picked up on the sound of loud arguing coming from the direction of his house. He rolled his eyes, it was obviously his dad arguing with his girlfriend again. Or rather, his ex girlfriend as of the previous week when he unceremoniously dumped her via text message. Knowing how hot-headed his dad could get when he was upset, Luke hurried to the door in the hopes of maybe cooling the situation a bit. He entered the house, dumped his school bag on the floor, and followed the sounds of discontent to the kitchen.

The back door was open, so Luke peeked his head round to see the two in mid-argument in the back yard. He expected to see his dad screaming right in his ex's face, yet was surprised to instead see him cowering in the corner of the yard. More worryingly, he held his hands out to block his face as the vengeful woman approached him. Her arm was held high, a thin, jagged rod clutched in her hand. Luke thought she was going to strike him. Instead, she pointed it downwards at his dad and yelled something unintelligible. A beam of sparkling light jettisoned out of its tip, striking his dad square in the chest.

Vignettes: Halloween Costumes

Miles entered Costume Plaza with awe. He'd never seen so many costumes in his life! He didn't know where to begin looking. He was eventually drawn to a rack near the entrance labelled "LAST MINUTE COSTUMES!". He swept through the rack, until he discovered a bag filled with army wear, labelled "Demolition Hawk". The name sounded somewhat familiar to him. Curious,  he brought the bag into the changing room to jog his memory. He pulled on a long pair of camouflage pants, slipped on the large, heavy boots, and stuck the helmet on his head. However, it seemed like an incomplete costume. Where was the shirt?

His question was answered when he felt a sudden pressure inside his body. He felt himself lurch up to the ceiling, almost doubling in height. Then his body burst outwards with pounds of muscle. His chest comically inflated like balloons into perfect slabs of luscious meat, while his stomach pulsated until a beautiful pair of abs emerged from within. His arms and legs swelled up in quick succession, growing to almost unrealistic proportions. Dark tattoos pierced through his skin, elaborately decorating his right arm and torso. His jawline reshaped itself into a squared off visage, finished off with a perfectly manicured beard.

Astonished, Miles ran a hand across his meaty body, feeling his plump pecs. He traced a finger across the tattoos that adorned his bicep, involuntarily flexing his arm in the process. He looked familiar somehow. He stroked his chin partially in thought, and partially to scratch his facial hair. Suddenly, he remembered. Demolition Hawk! From that gritty 90s army cartoon! He used to watch it with his dad all the time before he started school. He had always admired Demo, always wanted to be like him when he grew up. "Guess I got my wish" he said in a low, rumbling voice, flexing his arm with a grin. Hopefully the Halloween event didn't have too strict of a dress code.

Wasting Time

This is getting ridiculous. The repair shop is closing soon and we're still sat in this stupid cafe! All because Max just had to use the restroom, and they had a "paying customers only" policy. He was sure taking his sweet time with the beer he ordered. I watched as he took a large swig, his face twisting into a disgusted grimace as he forced himself to swallow the amber liquid. I shook my head in pity. "Why do you keep drinking that when you clearly hate it?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I paid for it, and I don't want it to go to waste. It's not like I can give it to you" he laughed.

"You didn't have to buy it you know. You could have got a coffee, or a cola, or a bottle of water even"

He scoffed and replied "Of course I did. Grown ups drink beer, and I'm a grown up so that means I should drink it. I'm sure I'll grow to love it". He took another gulp, pulling a disagreeable face. 

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "We're wasting valuable time here" I said, stressing my words for urgency. "Aren't you worried?". Max shrugged his shoulders, leaving me to worry for him. Why did it come to this?

Vignettes: Easter Egg Hunt

The time had come, the doors opened, and families eagerly entered the small, antique store to participate in the Easter egg hunt. It had existed on this road for generations, yet few people knew it previously existed let alone entered its doors. Nobody could imagine they would enter into a beautiful, awe-inspiring garden that extended well past the confines of the store's actual floor plan. You could easily forget you were inside a building at all, with the towering trees and natural sunlight flooding the area, until you stumbled across a brick wall slathered with vines.

Hidden throughout the exotic, extravagant foliage were plenty of small and colourful eggs, the goal of the event. They were everywhere. Chocolate eggs, plastic eggs filled with jelly beans, even a few boiled eggs for comedic effect. There were also some special golden eggs dotted throughout the large room. These glamorous eggs had attached instructions to find The Apprentice, the burly shop assistant whose festive bunny ears did little to soften his natural surly expression, who would help unlock its prize. Excited participants seeked down the man, and handed him their eggs.

"These are very special, magic objects that contain whatever you desire" he dully recited with a memorised speech. "Chocolate bunnies, candy eggs, turkish delight, whatever you want, anything at all, you will receive it". Most people picked out their favourite brand of candy, some even tried asking for something more obscure to see what would happen. The Apprentice would crack open the egg and poof! Whatever they asked for appeared in his palm in a puff of smoke.

However, a few people noticed the loophole in this trick. The wishing eggs could grant anything you desire. And anyone who spotted it received a rare smile from The Apprentice, because this meant he could have some fun. Wishes were one of the easiest forms of magic to master after all, and also the easiest to manipulate. This gave him the chance to put his skills to the test, and maybe have a bit of fun with the few who wanted more than just chocolate this Easter.

The Stranger

Lose The Beard