Showing posts with label Identity Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Identity Change. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 December 2025

A Christmas Carroll

Stan was back home for the holidays, and it felt good to be back in his childhood home. Sure, it had only been a few months since his last visit. But with him in his final months of college, he was getting fewer and fewer chances to make the journey out of state. With graduation drawing ever closer, he'd hoped to find a job somewhere closer to home, but all of his trawling job sites came up with nothing that would put his degree to good use. At least in the big cities, people were clamoring for child psychologists. As for now, he'd cherish every moment spent with his parents and sister while he could.

Which is why he felt a little disgruntled by his current task. His mom had given him a box of baked goods to deliver to someone in their apartment block. Some old guy called Geoffrey Carroll. He'd seen him a few times in the lobby over the years, but neither of them had ever said a single word to the other. Why would they? The man was as old as his grandparents. Older, even. His mom, however, knew every single person in the building by name, and almost every little thing about them. Apparently, he'd slipped on some ice outside the lobby recently, and fractured his hip. So she'd taken it upon herself to make him a treat, and asked Stan to offer any help in bringing some festive cheer. 

So he put on his best ugly festive sweater, stuffed a Santa hat on his head, and trekked up a flight of stairs to deliver the goods. He knocked at the door, and after a period just long enough to consider leaving the box on the floor and leaving, it was opened by a squat, elderly man with a bristly mustache and wispy, thinning hair. He had a pair of thick rimmed spectacles, and propped himself up with a steel medical cane. He looked him up and down with suspicion. "Wrong door," he grumbled. "I don't do that online stuff..."

"No Mr. Carroll, I'm Stan. I live on the floor below you. Uh, you know my mom, Betty Brooks? She heard about your accident, and asked me to give you these."

"Ah, Betty. A fine woman, she is. She's the only one who seems to check up on me nowadays..." Geoffrey stepped back from the door and added, "Well don't stand there like a lemon, come in!"

It was a little awkward to be invited inside given how he'd never said two words to the man up to now. But Stan pushed through the awkwardness and squeezed his way past the elderly man, being careful not to trip over his cane, and stepped into the living room. It looked much like his grandparent's house, smelled a little like it too. There were old photos of family members scattered around the room. He stopped in front of one which looked like a family reunion and asked, "Does your family not stop by? Seems like there's a lot of them..."

 "Of course they do!" Geoffrey sneered. "But they all moved away long ago. My youngest grandson's the closest, and he's still a good two hour drive. Everyone gets together for Thanksgiving, but Christmas? Bah! They're too old for that now, they have their own kids to coddle."

"No Christmas huh?" Stan felt a little disappointed by that sentiment. His family were Christmas mad. Like putting the Christmas tree up on Halloween mad. Looking around him now, there was no indication it was the middle of December. Not even a stray greeting card. "I guess that explains the lack of decorations..."

"My wife was the one who decorated for Christmas." Geoffrey sighed solemnly. "I haven't touched an ornament since she passed."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, it was years ago," he said. "She was the sociable one, the one who enjoyed everything about Christmas. It doesn't feel right to celebrate without her..."

"Well I could put some decorations up," Stan suggested. "If you want, that is. Spruce the place up a bit."

"Bah, it'd only get in the way!" Geoffrey grumbled. "And all those lights and flashy nonsense would kick up my migraines!"

"I see," Stan said with a stroke of his chin. "You're a bit of a Scrooge."

"No I'm not!" Geoffrey huffed. "I can celebrate Christmas without the need for the frivolities. If anything, they get in the way of the true meaning of Christmas."

"Mmm, the presents."

"Jesus Christ!"

"I'm kidding, of course it's about spending time with loved ones."

"No, it's about the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Good gracious, what are they teaching you in school nowadays!?"

"Sir, I'm 22."

"That's no excuse for ignorance!"

Stan sighed. Was it the pain of his fractured hip or was this guy always so grouchy? Maybe he needed a little encouragement. With a sly smile, he said "I wish you could reflect on those Christmases Past. Maybe you'll get more into the Christmas spirit, Mr. Scrooge!" He slipped the Santa hat from his head and plopped it atop Geoffrey's balding pate. It slid down his head, and almost covered his eyes. It took plenty of willpower for Stan to not burst into laughter at the sight.

Unfortunately, Geoffrey didn't appear to see the bright side of things, his cheeks almost as red as the hat blocking his vision. "I wish you would reflect on all those Christmases Yet To Come, and understand how demeaning the entire blasted thing is!" He yanked the hat off his head and tossed it to the ground. "Yes, I've read A Christmas Carol, you fool-born lout! And keep that hooter of yours out of other's personal businesses!"

"Wow..."

Geoffrey seethed for a moment, allowing his temper to cool before exhaling a heavy sigh. "You know what? Do whatever you want. Decorate or don't. I don't care any more." Stan was surprised by the sudden change in demeanor. Was this that seasonal depression he'd heard about? Geoffrey shuffled past him, quietly sneering "I'll be sure to let you know if any ghosts visit." before entering his bedroom with a huff.

Maybe he shouldn't have given the lad free reign over his apartment, Geoffrey briefly wondered before a sharp pain shot through his body. He winced as he lowered himself onto his bed, and made himself comfortable. Christmas spirit indeed... "Bah!" He growled aloud once more. Maybe that kid was right, he was a Scrooge. But for good reason. Any love he had for Christmas died the instant his beloved Maria passed away. She did it all. The decorations, the gift wrapping, the hosting, the dinners, and all with a smile on her beautiful face. So tied to Christmas were his memories of her, he couldn't bare to celebrate the season once more. It didn't feel the same. He only felt empty at this time of year... He mumbled some nonsense to himself as he fell into a deep sleep, unaware that the pain in his hip was gradually dissipating.

 ---------

Stan stood by, box of treats in hand, for several minutes as he debated whether or not to leave. He didn't really want to stick around. But he knew if he told his mom what had happened, she'd implore him to go straight back and spread a little cheer. Maybe the decorations would remind the old guy of those times spent with his family, and he'd be less of a Scrooge. The hardest part happened to be the easiest, as he found the plastic tree and a box of decorations behind the first closet door he opened. Perhaps the old geezer was going to decorate after all before his accident. Whatever the reason, all that was left to do was set it up.

It was a handsome artificial tree that looked like it had seen a lot of use. He could only imagine the Christmases that had been spent with this tree in sight. The joys of gifts, cheer and merriment. He could even see Geoffrey sat in an armchair, a tiny smile cracking his hard veneer as his sons opened up their presents from Santa. Year after year as the tradition moved from sons to grandsons, all fueled up with sugar and cheer as they ripped into gift wrapped boxes filled with toys and clothes and the occasional toiletry gift set. This tree had seen it all.

Stan chuckled to himself, giving his face a much needed scratch. His beard felt peculiar yet inviting. He'd been trying to grow one for Decembeard, and those increasingly cold nights, but it still grew in patchy. Or rather, it did until this very moment. Now it had blossomed into a fluffy delight that spread from cheek to cheek with a density he'd never experienced in facial hair. It left him with an odd feeling in his chest. Did beards just grow like that? An odd itch and persistent chill proved that wasn't all that was furry. His belly was gaining its own soft pelt of hairs. Stan had noticed since it now extended out from beneath his sweater, pushing it upwards to display its breadth. He chuckled nervously as he gave it a stroke. "I guess there's more than one way to grow up," he sighed. Geoffrey wanted him to reflect on Christmases Yet To Come. It was an odd wish, but one that seemed to be having an effect on him. He'd heard magic was writhe this time of year...

Now his body was feeling warm and cramped. His clothes continued to tighten around him like they shrunk in the wash. He really didn't want to, but he found he had no choice. Stan slipped his sweater off and tossed it aside, followed by his jeans which had to be peeled off of his burgeoning buttocks and thick thighs. He marveled at how much hairier he had become. Swirls of dark hair swept across his torso in an uninterrupted blanket. Deep in his rational mind, he knew this was impossible, and something that should terrify him. But those initial qualms were quickly fading away as quick as his hairline. He felt a breeze across his head. Reaching up, he stroked the top of his bald scalp with a slight frown. It appeared that woolly coating he'd obtained had all just migrated south of his head for the Winter.

Despite the uneasiness in his stomach, Stan couldn't help but marvel at his changes. It almost felt right to be so thick and hairy and mature. "I'm growing up," he said aloud. "I'm getting old. It won't be long until I'm as old as..." He gulped at the thought, briefly coming back to his senses. He didn't want to be old, right? He was losing his hair, getting fat, getting achey. And most importantly, he was losing his youth. This should have been terrifying, or at least concerning. Instead, Stan felt rather flustered. Everything about his failing body was turning him on. His cock had gotten hard, and to his surprise, it looked less than adequate. Was it his growing fat folds or was it actually getting shorter? As he held it in the palm of his hand, he swore he could feel it shrinking within his grip. A lustful moan escaped his lips at the thought. What if Geoffrey came back out to find him stripped naked and feeling himself up? It'd be so humiliating... The thought alone made him even more horny... But now wasn't the time for games! He had to hold off until he'd finished decorating. Why if his beloved could see him now...

Stan jolted upwards at the thought and sapped any lingering horniness at the roots. His cock even softened in his grasp, not even half the length as it used to be. Since when was he in a relationship? He was a single man, not for lack of trying. Yet thinking about it, he could see himself as a family man. Sat in his armchair as he watches his little boys open their presents from "Santa" with a knowing smile. Years passing by, decades, all spent in that comfy armchair as the belief in Santa spread from son to grandson to great-grandson. His loving wife by his side as she takes a break from slaving over the oven to accept that lovely necklace she'd had her eye on, or the garish blouse her sister had insisted he bought her. Then the many, many Christmases spent without her by his side. It was almost enough to give up on the whole thing...

Looking around, Stan spotted his discarded Santa hat. He reached down to pick it up, wincing as he felt a cramp in his lower back. He paused, and crouched down, his knees creaking as he grabbed the hat and stood back up. Creaky joints and back pain were all a part of getting old, he sighed. But looking around at what he'd already achieved, he realized something. He was getting old, but that didn't mean he had to grow up. He didn't want to be one of those old people who seemed to lack any sense of whimsy or joy. He refused to lose that joy! It would be a dishonor to his beloved wife if he gave in to the loneliness. She'd want him to celebrate all there was to be had at Christmas. Starting with the decorations.

The thought of all those Christmases yet to come put him in a better mood. There wasn't long to go until that Geoffrey guy came back. Then the real festivities could begin. He grabbed another ornament from the box and searched for the perfect spot to place it.

--------- 

Geoffrey tossed and turned in his bed. The nerve of that kid, thinking he could just waltz in with a box of cookies and demand he decorate his house for Christmas. Not the Christmas he knew, oh no. The proper, respectable tradition of remembering the birth of the Beloved Son. No, he wanted to bring in that sickening commercialized nonsense with all the bells and whistles he loathed. The second that lad was out of his hair, he was packing the whole thing back up.

How he wished he could go back, back to when he was celebrating with his wife and kids. As he sat in his chair and opened the gifts Maria had picked out for them under the guise of Santa. How he'd be given the usual bottle of whiskey or a box of cigars that would mostly go to waste as he found fewer moments to celebrate those big milestones in life... Then again, he'd never smoke a cigar in the first place. Smoking had been thoroughly drilled into his head as a dangerous, unhealthy endeavor and was seriously uncool. Now vapes. He'd smoked a few of those out of curiosity... Since when did he know what a vape was...

He shook his head to clear it. What nonsense was he thinking of. He was trying to remember his Christmases sat beneath the tree while his parents watched on with those patient smiles as he ripped open his gifts from Santa. It took him far too long to discover the truth, embarrassingly long. But that didn't ruin those moments when he truly believed. He recalled telling his fiancée all about it when they first started dating, and she laughed and laughed. That was when he knew they were made for each other. Lately he'd been thinking of popping the question, he just needed a ring... Wait, hadn't he already... What was her... 

It was the strangest thing. He could recall his days of youth with vivid precision. But anything past college was a frightening blur of vague details. And those vivid memories couldn't be real. He recalled opening Batman LEGO and a Jake the Dog toy as a kid, and the excitement of receiving a Nintendo Switch with a steering wheel add-on for bouts of Mario Kart as a teenager. But he was far too old for that junk. How did he even know what an Adventure Time was? Concentrating, he tried to recall anything at all about his life post college. But it was no use. All he felt was the pang of loss. Like he was forgetting something important. Someone important...

Geoffrey awoke with a start. Back in the same old bedroom he'd fallen asleep in. Old being an understatement. It felt familiar and yet oddly distant. A stranger's room. He felt less than refreshed, his mind foggy. Whatever he was dreaming, it was lost to the aether. He scrambled beside him for his glasses, only to come empty-handed. Though it appeared he didn't need them. Did he develop 20-20 vision in his sleep? Everything seemed so sharp and vivid in ways he hadn't experienced in years. He rubbed his head in awed confusion, followed by a "huh?" Was his hair usually this thick? A flash of memory told him he was thinning up top, yet his fingers didn't lie. It must have been that dream... He grasped at the covers and threw them off, the cool air hitting his bare torso. Why was he only in his underwear? And more importantly, where had these toned muscles come from?

Confused, Geoffrey jumped up from the bed and winced slightly. His back still felt sore from that fall last week. He thought he'd broken something from the way he landed. Luckily, he'd only bruised the skin, and his ego. It had definitely improved since then. He could walk upright, for one. In another week, he knew he'd be good as rain. The benefits of youth, he mused as he wandered over to the mirror in the corner. 

There he saw a young man of 22. Why he thought he was anything less, he didn't know. He licked at his bare upper lip, not fully understanding why he expected to feel the bristles of a chevron mustache. He'd only tried growing his facial hair once, and it came in so sparse, he vowed to never attempt it again until his stubble had fully filled in. He gawked at his reflection, giving his pecs a light squeeze as if he'd never seen his body before. Something told him he'd never been this athletic in his entire life, which was clearly untrue. He was the star of his football team back in high school, and still an avid gym-head now he was in college. He tickled the few hairs in between the solid mounds, picturing a far denser carpet of hair covering them. Maybe in another decade, but for now, he was smooth as silk. Not like that Santa brute... Santa who now? Another forgotten aspect of his dream maybe. Waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom alone was messing with his mind...

Lost in thought, a curious sensation brought him back to his senses - a wondrous, familiar smell in the air of nutmeg and cream. His mouth salivated at the scent drifting in from beneath the closed door. It wafted in from the kitchen. Of course, that guy was still here. Dan or Steve or whatever... Though something told him he was supposed to be here. The last thing he remembered was telling someone he was going to take a nap... No, he was going to get ready. Ready for what? Looking around, he didn't see any clothes that could have been his own. And he didn't feel entirely comfortable heading out of the room in just his undies. Or did he? It had to be why he was in a stranger's home in the first place. Didn't he accept someone's invitation to...

Geoffrey could hear singing now, Last Christmas. Low and rumbling and courageously off-key. The curiosity got the better of him, as it always did, and he decided to follow his nose out of the bedroom and down the hallway. He opened the door into the living room where he came face to face with a big surprise. A Christmas tree stood proudly in the center of the room loaded with kitschy ornaments and multi-colored lights. Even more tinsel and wreaths surrounded the rest of the room, giving it a homely glow that it previously lacked. There, stood by the tree, was the mysterious stranger who'd shown up out of the blue and offered to provide some Christmas spirit. There was a proud grin across his cheeks as if he hadn't just butchered a Wham classic. "I hope you don't mind," The shaggy old man said with a satisfied smile. "I made some eggnog while I waited. So what do you think? Pretty festive huh?"

Geoffrey looked to the tree and decorations that now stood in the center of the room, then back to the hairy old man sipping from a ceramic mug, and asked the only question that came to mind. "Why the fuck are you naked!?"

"Technically, I'm not completely nude," Stan said with a point to the red hat on his head.

"You know what I mean!"

"What can I say? I've done a lot of growing up recently," he chuckled as he slapped a palm against his solid belly and gave it a shake. "Besides, the suit's for work only. I like the feeling of being au naturel when I'm in my own home. Feels good, you know?"

"No, this is my ho-" Geoffrey began to say before petering out. How could he be sure this was his home? Sure, he lived in this apartment building, but it wasn't this apartment. It was missing his own personal touches. It looked like the home of an old man, that was certain. And he wasn't old, was he? No, of course not. He was barely in his twenties, the prime of his life.

"You know, it'd be pretty nice if you joined me," Stan said with a nod of the head to Geoff's underwear. "This ain't my first rodeo, no need to be so modest. We can have a little fun before we get to the main event. Come on, I'll get you some eggnog."

Geoffrey hesitated before following him out to the kitchen where a small pot of eggnog sat steaming on the stove. The Santa look-a-like ladled a generous portion into a matching mug and passed it to him with a wink. He gave it a sniff, appreciating the vanilla spiced scent. He'd never been one of eggnog but this cup smelled almost nostalgic. He took a long, hard sip. It was warm, and creamy, and overwhelmingly alcoholic. He coughed as a stifling heat burned in his throat, and his head swam a little.

"It's my wife's recipe.  She used to make it every Christmas morn. It'll put some much needed hair on your chest. I used to look just like you before I met her," Stan chuckled to himself while Geoffrey steadied himself on the counter. "Pace yourself, there's no rush."

 "Heh, I guess..." Geoffrey chuckled uneasily. He didn't know why he thought he could drink such a boozy drink so steadfast. He'd only become of age just over a year ago, and most of his drinking consisted of cheap beer from the student bar. Clearly he'd overestimated his tolerance. Putting his cup aside for the time being, he tried to come up with some small talk. "So Mr. Carroll..." Geoffrey shivered briefly. Why did that feel wrong?  

"Huh?" Stan sputtered his sip of eggnog back into his cup and said, "No, that's your na..." He paused. "Uhm, my father's name. Please, call me Stanley. Or even better, call me Santa." He winked.

"Well, only if you call me Geoff," the younger man chuckled awkwardly. "So Stanley. Or, uh, Santa. What exactly are we doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? You wanted an up-close and personal visit with Rudolph."

"I...What?" Geoff cocked his head as Stanley subtly nodded his head downwards. Geoff followed his gaze until he locked eyes with 'Rudolph', and the old man reached down and gave it a soft stroke. A memory flashed before his eyes, of receiving some dick pics on one of his dating apps. Since when did he use those, anyway? It all felt so unfamiliar to him. Still, he smiled politely. "Oh, he's smaller in real life."

"Isn't he just?" Stanley smirked "I'd like to say it's Jack Frost's doing, but it's not the cold nipping at my nose." He squeezed the small nub with a soft sigh and tugged on one of his nipple rings at the same time. Was he getting off to this, Geoff thought. He felt flustered watching the silver-haired bear more than triple his age play with himself without a single care. Maybe it was the eggnog talking, but he was getting into it himself. He squeezed at his own cock through his underwear, feeling it get rock hard in his grip. He hadn't been able to get an erection in years... No, maybe Stanley hadn't. But Geoff had morning wood almost every day, not to mention afternoon, evening, and night. He was brimming with hormones, and was always in need of release. And seeing this horny old polar bear trying to get it up, he couldn't help himself. He reached out to Stanley, leaned forward, and planted a kiss right on the lips. Then his mind cleared and he stepped back immediately, cheeks flushed red. "Oh, I'm so sorry I-"

Before he could finish his apology, Stanley grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him in for a far more passionate smooch. They stood lip to lip, arms bunched around the other. For Stanley, this was something he'd done many a time, and it showed. For Geoff, he was more focused on how the bear's bushy beard tickled his nose, how his hairy belly squished against his abs, and those nipple piercings chilling his own nipples. Eventually, the passion died down, and Stanley stepped back with a sigh. "I'm sorry, am I too forthcoming? I'm used to men with more experience. If I'm making you uncomfortable, we could-"

"No, no." Geoff stammered. He didn't know why this felt so peculiar. He'd kissed other men before. Even hairy bears like the man before him. Hell, he initiated the kiss in the first place! But this felt different, almost wrong... He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "I've had experience. Plenty of it. Although never with someone so... Uhm, more experienced."

"It's okay, you can say old," Stan said with a hearty chuckle. "I'm an old man. Far too old to be fooling around with men younger than my grandkids, really. But it's always like this at this time of year. Younger men looking to experiment over the holidays. It's why I keep the hat on, because they're seeking out a Santa Claus of their own to have a little fun with."

It was sort of true, Geoff thought to himself. He was visiting his folks for the holidays, and was a little bored of the festivities. So he checked his dating apps to see who was in the same boat, and looking for a little festive fun. He wasn't expecting to see grizzled old Stanley Carroll baring it all, and in a Santa suit no less. Of course, the curiosity got the best of him, and they arranged a visit. He was surprised when the old bear even answered the door as Santa. Apparently, he moonlighted as the legend at the mall during the holidays, which seemed like a conflict of interest. But what he did in his spare time was his business, he asserted during that first meeting. He couldn't believe he was this close to fucking tha old man.

He had to prove he was committed. Geoff took another swig of eggnog courage before reaching down to his underwear and finally yanking them down in a single swoop, his cock bobbing up and down from the motion. Stanley raised his eyebrows and beamed underneath his bushy beard. "Well, that's a mighty big present you have there. Looks like you'll be coming down my chimney after all."

Geoff blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. It was a little corny but he liked it. He tried to match the energy. "Uhm, I'll fill your stockings with all the presents you can handle?"

"Nice try," Stanley chuckled. He tugged on his little pecker as if he was surprised it had gathered the courage to show up. "Well ho, ho, ho, it's a Christmas miracle! Why don't we cut the pleasantries and get to the bedroom while I can still keep it up."  

Stanley took the young man by the hand and led him back through to the bedroom. He laid back on his disheveled bed with a mischievous grin as he rubbed his flabby, furry belly. He'd faced those Christmases Yet To Come, and discovered many new things about himself. He loved his family, he loved Christmas, and he loved sharing that love with others in exciting new ways. He just couldn't wait to get started. "You're been a naughty boy, young Geoff," Stanley growled in his deep, gravelly voice. "But Santa is feeling a little naughty himself... If you want to get back in my good books, you're going to have to prove yourself."

Geoff psyched himself up. He was about to have sex with a retired widower role-playing in his own apartment. He'd known the man almost his entire life, but up to this moment, they'd never a single word to each other. They didn't know each other, not really. But it was still a weird feeling. In fact, he'd felt weird for a while now. Ever since he woke up from that weird, fuzzy dream of Christmases Past... He'd never really been one for Christmas himself. It always felt too full of itself as a holiday. Although he could always come around to it, he was willing to open up to the Christmas spirit.

Despite his confliction, his cock was hard as ever. Geoff slipped a condom on, along with a bit of lube, and stepped up to the fat, elderly man he'd been so confused by. Stanley, meanwhile, had made himself comfortable on the edge of his bed as he lay on his back, readying himself for a good time. He spread his legs wide in a pose that could only be described as turkey-esque. Geoff stared down at his huge, flabby ass. He'd never seen a rear-end quite so hairy. He could tell it covered him all the way up his back. It should have been off-putting, but if anything, it left him eager for what was to come. He gripped both ass cheeks and spread them apart before aiming his rock hard cock for Santa's puckered asshole. He smirked as he felt the old man shudder and try to suppress a moan as he slowly slid his thick dick inside, pausing as he reached half-way. "You okay?" he asked.

"Never better," Stanley sighed. "Now why don't you be a good boy and show Santa just why I should consider putting you on the nice list."

Geoff smirked as he thrust his hips deep into the old man's ass, eliciting a welcome yelp in response. He pounded away smoothly, trying not to be so hard. He was worried about hurting the poor guy, not to mention the sore throb from his own bruised hip. But he could tell that Stanley was eager for something more punishing. Geoff was hypnotized by the way Stanley's belly bounced back and forth with the motion. "I've never fucked anyone so fat before," he said absent-mindedly before realizing he should probably zip his lips.

"I am fat," Stanley agreed. "I'm a fat and old and gray. I'm being fucked by a man younger than my grandkids..." He moaned aloud before insisting, "Berate me. Humiliate me. Please..."

Now this was a new experience to Geoff. "Uhm... You're so hairy, it's like you're wearing a sweater? Err... And your beard looks like you're compensating for your bald head... How long have you been bald? I bet it's longer than I've been alive. I bet it's even longer than my dad's been alive." 

"You'd be correct," Stanley said with a moan. "Bald before I turned thirty... I was so ashamed..." He sounded upset, but the way he played with his nipples and tugged on his tiny cock like his life depended on it let Geoff know he was on the right track with the teasing.

"How does it feel to be fucked by such a virile young man? Does it turn you on knowing I'm so much younger than you?" A nod and another moan. "I'm 22, I'm still in college. I have my whole life ahead of me while yours is nearing its end." He was starting to get cruel, and it felt good to talk smack to a man who was clearly getting off on it. "You look pathetic trying to get whatever pleasure you can from that nub you call a cock. It's been buried by decades of flab. You're so fat and out of shape. I bet you weren't even in shape when you were my age. Fat all your life... A thick musclehead like me shouldn't be degrading himself fucking a ancient freak like you. I'm only doing it out of pity. Cause nobody else is going to. Not to a senior citizen like you. Face it, you're never going to be young again, you'll never be as fit and agile as me. Your best days are long behind you. You grew up too fast, you've missed the prime of your life, and you'll never get to experience it ever again."

With a sudden and unexpected shudder, Stanley gasped and rolled his eyes back. His cock sputtered out watery ropes of cum across his belly before sinking back into a flaccid state. "Looks like... Santa came a little... Early..." He panted through ragged breaths that made Geoff come to a halt in his pounding. But Stanley tapped him on the arms and said "No, don't stop because of me. It happens when you get old, you get too excited and can't hold it back. It's embarrassing, isn't it?" There was a wild grin that suggested everything was going to plan.


"I... I guess..." Geoff didn't feel right continuing to fuck the man long after he'd finished. But he had to admit it did feel good. Besides, Stanley seemed to take it like a champ. He even stepped up his agility until, after a few minutes of sweaty action, he finally howled as he filled his condom to the brim. Satisfied with their coupling, they lay side by side, panting in the afterglow. Eventually, Geoff sat up and gave Stanley a small smile. "That sure was great, Mr. Claus. But I'm concerned you'll still put me on the naughty list." He trailed his fingers through the old man's white chest hair, pausing as he teased the rings on his nipples. "Do you think you have the stamina for a round two?"

Stanley snorted, and patted his hand away. "Ah, to have the endless stamina of a young man again! I just about made it through round one. Another go right now would kill me. Besides, I was lucky to get Rudolph to come out and play at all. I've run out of those blue pills, you see?" He sighed and ran a hand down to his crotch and gave himself a little squeeze. "See? Nothing. Don't get old, kid..."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Geoff said with an apologetic smile. He couldn't tell whether this was still a part of his humiliation kink or he was speaking sincerely. They sat in silence for a few moments, then he asked, "You know, there's always space for one more at my parents' place for Christmas. I'm sure my mom would love it if you visited."

"Woah now, bud," Stanley said. "I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not looking for a relationship here. I can't be meeting your parents, I've got a good fifty years on you, at least! This was a one time thing. What is it you kids say... A booty call? I don't have much time left, certainly not for a single person."

"Who said anything about a relationship?" Geoff chuckled. "I just thought you'd prefer some company that isn't trying to get into Santa's pants! Not that I'd object, of course. It must be hard being alone for the holidays."

"Well, it is tough not having my beloved Maria around any longer, especially at this time of year. She was Christmas nuts, and her enthusiasm rubbed off on me. It's what led me to become a mall Santa, so I can bring joy the way she brought to me... But life goes on. Christmas is up to the boys nowadays. My youngest grandson's handling things this year. He's had a new addition to the family and I can't wait to see his little face."

"Oh, so you're a great grandfather, huh?" Geoff said almost in surprise. "That must be exciting."

"One of three great-grandkids," Stanley smiled. "The eldest turned seven last month, if you can believe it! I still remember when he was about the size of my hand." He held it up to his face before dropping it down to give his shaggy beard a contemplative tug. "It's the best part of getting old. Your family getting bigger, the festivities getting more hectic. It keeps you on your toes."

"Huh, I suppose it does," Geoff smiled. If he were in Stanley's boots, he would've given Christmas the boot. But seeing him embrace and celebrate the memories of his loved ones made his heart grow three sizes that day. Maybe this was the Christmas spirit that he needed to embrace. "Christmas isn't the time to wallow in the past, wondering what could have been. Nor is it worrying about the future and what could happen. It's about the here and now, spending time with others. That's why it's the present."

"Ouch!" Stanley rubbed his jaw in a comical fashion. "I'm all for sentimentality but that was some tooth-aching corn!"

As the two men laughed together, Stanley took a look at the young man sat next to him. He had his whole life ahead of him. Not like himself. There was a sense of loss, as if he'd lost something precious to him, but he couldn't remember. That was happening far too often nowadays. Getting old wasn't all fun and games. But he wouldn't change it for the world. He'd lived a long and fruitful life with a loving wife, bore two sons who each bore two sons of their own. People come and go, but there was no time like the present.

He nodded to Geoff and said "I see you're still have some Christmas cheer to spread," nodding at the man's solidly erect penis. To still have a working cock... "Well, I may not be ready to receive another stocking stuffer, but there's more than one way to satiate a craving, and I am desperate to get a taste of your candy cane."

 Geoff rolled his eyes and chuckled at the barrage of puns. "Well, I can't say no to Santa, can I?" Stanley grinned as he shifted his weight down, spreading his lips wide as his white beard buried Geoff's Pole like a blanket of snow. He could tell there were going to be many opportunities to spread Christmas cheer this holiday. 


 

Tuesday, 26 August 2025

Take Your Pick

This was supposed to be a weekend of fun for the Cohen family. Little Rafael was supposed to be at home with his chill babysitter while his parents went on a romantic getaway to a special hotel for adults only. He was going to order takeout, and stay up all night watching the R rated films he wasn't allowed to. That is, until the babysitter got some severe food poisoning, and there wasn't anyone who could care for the young boy at the last minute. It was also too late to cancel the trip to get a refund. So here he was, bored out of his wits while his parents stood at the front desk doing everything they could to convince the hotel to let him stay.

After what felt like forever, they finally convinced the employee manning the front desk to take it up to the manager, who took one look at Rafael playing on his Switch Lite, and smirked. "Don't worry," he told his parents. "You're not the first couple to end up in this predicament here. We have a special procedure for moments like this." 

He then nodded to the concierge, who nodded back and left her post. The woman held a hand out to Rafael with a warm smile. "Come on," she said. "I'll take you to a super special room while your parents work out all the boring stuff."

Rafael followed her as she led them through an unmarked door. As they left, he heard the manager say, "how would you like an upgrade for your troubles? A cute couple like you should love our hon-" before the door closed on him.

A few twisty corridors later, and Rafael found himself inside a sterile room with dark walls, and modern furniture. Off to the side, he could see a small bathroom that was just as bland. It looked more like a doctor's office than a playroom. Why they thought this was a good place to wait was beyond him. At least the lobby had that cool water fountain and a few plants to brighten up the room.

The woman hadn't followed him inside, so he made himself uncomfortable on one of the dull chairs until she burst through the door carrying a cumbersome cardboard box. She stopped in the center and carefully tipped its contents out onto the floor. Rafael's eyes widened, it was a bunch of toys! A very weird selection of toys. Cuddly toys, action figures, board games, trading cards, even a few game consoles. He could feel his hands twitching as he wanted to rummage through himself, but the concierge lady stopped him.

"Ah-ah-ah," she chided. "You're only allowed to choose one toy. Then we'll begin the process."

Only one toy!? Rafael frowned. That was hardly fair when there were dozens to choose from. And he had to be the only kid at the resort, it wasn't like he had to share! Still, there was a sense that this was an important decision. He quickly discarded the girls toys like the plushies and the dolls from the equation, not wanting to even touch them. Then he reluctantly discarded the video game consoles, since there was no TV to connect them to. In the end, from the meager selection left, he reached out and grabbed a colorful 9x9 square cube. 

The woman nodded her head in approval. "Ah, the Rubik's Cube. An interesting choice. The most popular Christmas gift in 1980, if you didn't know. Not too old, but still a little retro." She ruffled his hair with a smile, and pointed back to the chairs. "Now go and sit down while the grown ups work out this little mess you've managed to put us in."

Thursday, 26 December 2024

Hungover

Samson stirred as he felt his eyes flutter awake. His vision was blurry. His ears were ringing. His head was throbbing. "Ugh, Whazzuh?" he grumbled. "Where am I? What day is it?" He rolled over slightly, his gut flipping as he almost fell to the floor, the motion fully jolting him awake. He realised he was laying on the sofa in his uncle's living room. He vaguely recalled going to visit for his annual Christmas Eve soirée. But he would have normally left by the end of the night. Did something happen?

"Ugh, my head..." Samson rubbed the top of his head, only mildly concerned to feel a vast expanse of skin in place of his hair. Did someone shave his head, and then stick the hairs to his face, he wondered as he scratched his fuzzy cheeks. His attention was then drawn to his clothes, a familiar red costume to some. But why was he dressed as Santa? The myriad of empty bottles littered on the ground maybe answered several of his questions, except he wasn't much of a drinker. He pulled himself upwards, groaning as it only exacerbated the aching in his head. "Ugh," he groaned. "What the hell happened last night?"

----------

Tuesday, 3 December 2024

Wish You Were Here?

Black Friday... Cyber Monday... Now there was Travel Tuesday? The capitalistic desire to invent commodified faux holidays to get people to buy junk was abysmal. And nevertheless, Eric's distaste didn't stop him from browsing the latest travel deals that kept cropping up in his feed. It wasn't like he could afford a vacation at the moment, nor did he have any strong desire to go anywhere. It'd be nice to have something to look forward to, aside from the annual family visit to the great lakes about 9 months away. Maybe he could find something amazing for Spring Break. Something more than the typical booze-laden trip to Vegas or Miami.

It was getting late, and nothing had caught his eye, when a bright ad interrupted his scrolling. "WISH YOU WERE HERE??" It declared in bold colours. It showed a woman in a dull grey home tapping on beachfront property on her phone, and now she was relaxing in the summer sun with a cocktail in hand. Nothing too groundbreaking. "TRAVEL TUESDAY EXCLUSIVE TRIAL!" Now that caught his eye. What would a trial entail? Curiousity got the better of him. 

The trial, it turned out, was a free "ticket" to be used on a limited selection of vacation properties around the world. "This is your ticket to far-flung destinations worldwide! You can really go places!" Yeah right, thought Eric as he scrolled through the website, which was more like a home listings site than a vacation rental destination. There were rentals in San Francisco, Rio de Janeiro, Seoul, Brisbane, Johannesburg, Lisbon. None of which were included in the introductory offer. Figures there'd be a catch. Even a free stay in Vegas seemed out of the question.

Eric barely flicked through what was included before deciding it was a dud. Except for one. A homely cabin in the middle of a forest, overlooking the Innvikfjorden in Norway. Unlike the other listings, it promised total immersion in the country, whatever that meant. Maybe it had to do with the owner of the property, a lonesome captain who guided tours around the nearby fjords and glaciers. Staying with a local certainly added a flair of authenticity to the affair, after all.

Eric had always fancied visiting Scandinavia one day, he had Viking blood according to an ancestry test his mom had done a few years prior. And spending the winter holidays surrounded by beautiful scenery and actual snow was tempting. It sure beat the eighty-odd degrees he was still experiencing in Arizona. But the price of travelling to Europe was a deterrant in itself. Wasn't Norway supposed to be one of the most expensive countries in the world? One the happiest too, apparently...

WISH YOU WERE HERE? The website silently declared next to the listing. He hovered his mouse over the YES button. Something about it made him hesitate. Did he really wish he was there? In the snow-capped mountain fjords? Well, it couldn't hurt to see where it led him. The second it asked for passport details or a credit card number, he could easily exit the page. Eric tapped that glowing button, and the screen was replaced by a cool toned loading screen. A whirring cog span in the center, while a progress bar slowly crept upwards. "LOADING - RECALIBRATING"

Sunday, 27 October 2024

Cock-Up

The first mistake Richard made was drinking with his roommate, Johnny. He had moved in with the guy about 5 months ago, and they hadn't really bonded with each other until this moment. Richard was a very solitary man who kept to himself, while Johnny was an outgoing party animal who was out most nights. But he had wanted to get closer to him, if just to stave off the awkwardness whenever they were in the same room together. So when Johnny's plans fell through one night, he pushed himself to suggest binging a reality dating show together.

It started off casual. They chatted about their work, Richard worked in a deliveries warehouse, while Johnny worked in entertainment, shadowing an illustionist. He called himself a sorcerer's apprentice, but that was just the schmaltzy way of saying he did magic tricks. He even performed an impromptu show, making the dining room chairs and table hover and spin, which impressed Richard entirely. Although, he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He was already highly inebriated after his first beer. 

That was his second mistake. As his roommate moved on from the magic show, his focus drawn by a cheating scandal on TV, the conversation moved to sexual exploits. Johnny was quite boastful about his many soirées. Whereas, Richard was less than experienced. In fact, he couldn't stop himself from blurting out that he was still a virgin. The energy in the room changed as Johnny zoned in on his confession, asking how? Why? Why not? But Richard stayed evasive. Thankfully, all was forgotten as the fake tension of break-ups happened on the TV, but not entirely...

Over the next few days, Richard did his best to avoid Johnny, who seemed overly interested in him. Yeah, he was a virgin, but he didn't want to throw it away with just anyone. It's not like Johnny wasn't a hunk. He was a poster boy for good looks. But he was loud, abrasive, and far too into himself. Not to mention the laundry list of previous endeavours. No, he wanted his first time to be meaningful to both parties.

Finally, things came to a head one morning while Richard was mulling over Halloween costume ideas. Did he want to go as Joe Locke in Heartstoppers or Joe Locke in Agatha? As he shifted between his web browser tabs, Johnny stepped into his room with a confident rap on the door. "Dicky boy!" He declared with gusto. "I was thinking about your little V-card ish, and I have a proposition for ya."

It was the moment Richard had been dreading. He just had to rip off the band-aid. He cleared his throat and stumbled over his words as he tried to put him down gently. "Uhm, I'm flattered, but you're not exactly my type..."

Johnny broke into a broad grin. "Back atcha. I like a man with meat on his bones, and you're barely 120 pounds soaking wet." The lug broke into a boisterous laugh that Richard didn't join. He may not have wanted the attention, but could it have killed the guy to be less honest? Johnny wiped away a tear before continuing, "No, no. It sounds to me that you're not confident in your sexual prowess. So I figured we could practice a little."

"Meaning?"

"Well, if you had a better idea of how to do the do, then when it comes around, you'll know what to do."

It sounded ridiculous to Richard at first, although when he thought on it, it sort of made sense. He had the know-how, but it was all from watching porn. Without applying it practically, he might always psych up his first time into an impossibility. And he definitely didn't want that. So with a quiet sigh, he agreed to the peculiar idea. That was his final mistake.

Thursday, 29 February 2024

Glitter Bomb

Trent yawned and stretched his arms as he stumbled downstairs. He wasn't usually awake this early, but today was a special day; it was his sixteenth birthday. And it wasn't just any old birthday, it was a Leap Year birthday. He was used to having his birthday on the wrong day, so whenever February 29th came around, it was cause for a proper celebration on his proper birth day, the day he could only celebrate every four years.

The smell of roasted coffee wafted in the air, his mom already awake and making his favorite breakfast. And in the living room, there was already a small pile of gifts and cards for him to open. Trent didn't want to open anything until the rest of his family were there, but cards were always a go-to. He tore through the pile of envelopes, smiling at the thoughtful messages his parents wrote, and frowning at the 4th birthday jabs from his friends. His brother even got him a card made for pre-schoolers with dancing, rectangular dogs that wished him a bonzer birthday, whatever that meant. After opening another card from a distant relative with a $10 bill inside, he came to the last card in the pile. It looked a little haphazard, and he could feel something other than the card on the inside. He didn't recognise the handwriting at all, but that wasn't much of a concern. It wasn't like he knew everyone who'd sent him a card by their script. But this one felt different. Out-of-place...

Trent opened the envelope, a small smirk slipping his lips. It was a picture of a prune wearing a birthday hat. Wildly different from the other cards he'd received. Then he opened the card itself, and was immediately blinded by a puff of smoke and glitter. He dropped the card on the table, coughing as he tried wiping the offensive dust away from his eyes. Who would do something so stupid?? He grabbed the card again to find out who to yell at.

Dear Trent

Happy "16th" Birthday! What a day to celebrate it on!

Love

X

He scratched his head, confused. There was no name to who sent it, just a cross. He sighed, trying to put the memory of the glitter bomb aside. At least they signed it with him celebrating his sixteenth, unlike his immature friends. He may have been born in a leap year, but he didn't find the whole "your real age is a quarter what it actually is" thing funny. Then again, he noticed the sendee put 16th in quotations. What was that about?

He dropped the card down again, and sighed as he looked at his hands. They were coated in that fine glitter from inside the card. Plus, a load of it clung to his night-shirt in a shimmering mess. He didn't even want to think of what his face looked like. He yanked his shirt off over his head, and chucked it in the laundry room. But before he left, he noticed something peculiar on his chest. A faint itch that spread across his skin. When he rubbed his chest, it felt almost gritty to the touch. Had the glitter managed to seep through his shirt? That didn't make sense. He ignored the feeling for now, heading back upstairs to have a good shower. He grunted as he climbed, his knees feeling peculiarly sore. He tried to recall doing any exercise recently, but his thoughts felt hazy.

Wednesday, 1 November 2023

My Desired Costume

Jack groaned as he rolled his head upright, heavy with a case of grogginess. He hadn't felt this bad after a night out in months. He wasn't even partying wild like his college days, it was only a few drinks with friends. He hadn't reached that age already, had he? But he couldn't remember any specifics. The whole night was a blur. Except for one moment. He left to use the restroom, when he bumped into someone he recognised. Someone that made him feel uneasy. Someone unwanted... But for the life of him, he couldn't remember anything. He gulped, he'd heard stories of people being drugged and assaulted. Was he another victim? Had this mystery person done something to him? Did they spike him? His heart sank at the thought. 

Yet as he tried to tried up to his face to rub the sleep from his eyes, he realised something most unsavory. He couldn't move his arms at all. The shock cleared his mind, allowing him to recognise the danger he was in. He was stood upright, his arms tired behind his back, his feet bound together and locked to the ground. He struggled to break free or even move from his spot, but it was no use. He was stuck. With a sigh, he looked around his environment uneasily. He wasn't just anywhere, he was in his own bedroom.

But who would drug and kidnap someone, only to leave them in their own home? There was only one way to find answers. Jack gulped and cleared his throat. "Hello?" He cried out, just loud enough for a would-be murderer to hear him. "Is anyone there? What's going on!?" There was a sudden bump in the room next door, followed by heavy footsteps that padded straight toward the bedroom door.

Thursday, 31 August 2023

No Refunds

It was an unusually quiet day in the store. So quiet, I actually had time to finish the crossword in the newspaper without a single disturbance. I suppose money is tight nowadays. But even the reliable window shoppers hadn't turned up. I was considering closing up early when the bell above the door tinkled. Finally, a customer.

"Hey! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

I frowned. A customer. There goes my quiet afternoon... I turned around to see a stout man with a round, bearded face striding towards me with a sour expression. "Ah, Mr. Grant," I chimed pleasantly. "How lovely it is to see you again." The man paused mid-stride, clearly surprised that I remembered him. But it's my job to remember every single person that enters through those doors, regardless of current appearances. It still gave me a smug feeling every time, however. I asked him, "What appears to be the problem."

Grant snapped out of his stupor, and grunted. "Isn't it obvious? Look at me!" He waved his hands up and down his bulky body.

"Yes, you're a man now, just like you wanted." Grant was a young lad the previous day, just on the cusp of pubescence. Like many of the youths who enter the shop, he was desperate for a means to grow up, to become an adult. And like many of them, I had exactly the means to do so. In Grant's case, I had a box of aging cream I was just about to throw away before he turned up. I thought it was luck, although it appears things have turned sour... I switched tactics, and said with a sly wink, "And might I add, you've grown into quite the handsome gentleman."

"Shut up!" He growled, slamming a carrier bag down onto the counter with a sharp thud. So much for sweet talk. "I'm not handsome, I'm old! This isn't what I wanted at all! I want a refund."

Saturday, 25 March 2023

Birthday Bumps


"What's wrong? You've been a little distant this whole meal."

"Huh?" I glanced over to Ethan, who had put an arm around my shoulder. I shook my head, and took a puff of my cigar. "It's complicated..." I sighed. "Just dwelling on the uncertainties of life, and the future, and stuff."

"Aw, babe, you shouldn't fret about that, especially on your birthday!" He took me by the arm, and led us back to our table where a small designer cake with a single candle sat atop. "Relax, you only turn 38 once, after all."

Ethan tugged lightly on my beard, pulling me closer as we locked lips in a loving kiss. I smiled for him, and blew out the candle to his delight. But I couldn't help but dwell on my thoughts. Everything was happening so fast, it wasn't supposed to be this complicated.

--------------------

It was while we stood at the front of the restaurant, waiting for our server to return and lead us to our reserved table. I was bouncing on my feet impatiently, when I felt a heavy figure crash into my back. I stumbled with an "oof!" Turning around, I glared at the man who had bumped into me.

He looked apologetic but didn't even stop. "Sorry, kid!" he cried out, almost as an afterthought, as he rushed through the crowded restaurant, to the balcony in the back.

I frowned, but shook off the accident. I wasn't going to let some jerk ruin my birthday. I was finally entering double digits, the big 1-0. I was going to have an awesome lunch with my best friends before heading to the entertainment complex that recently opened down the street. There was an arcade with VR, laser tag, mini golf, and a Ninja Warrior style obstacle course all under one roof! It was going to be the best birthday!

Friday, 30 December 2022

The Christmas Spirit

A merry belated Christmas, everyone! And a happy early New Year! To celebrate, here's a very special, Christmassy TF story for you all. A collaboration with the wonderful visceral-stories, who has so graciously teamed up with me to write this story full of festive cheer! Do go give him your support. And, hey, maybe throw me a bone too. 😉


THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

 

It's nearly Christmas, and all Trevor wants is to ruin the holidays for everyone in his home of Mistletoe Valley. After his gang of destined high school drop-outs cause a ruckus at the mall, Trevor happens upon a golden invitation offering him the opportunity to escape his delinquent life, and begin a new one as the greatest festive icon of all. But will he take it? It appears he has no choice in the matter!


Tuesday, 20 December 2022

Better Treatment

Scott grunted as he pushed a lawnmower around his neighbor's yard. It was freezing outside, and there was still frost on the ground. Yet even though he couldn't see over the handles, he persisted. He knew he hadn't been the best boy this year, but even this wasn't worth getting into Santa's good books. He grumbled, recalling how Mr. Drummer suggested to his mom that he could do good deeds around his house to appease those watchful elves that reported on his daily doings. Scott knew the grump only wanted some free labor, for him to do the stuff he didn't want to. But he couldn't back down now. They were so close to Christmas, he could make it on the nice list, and get that Lego set he'd been dreaming of.

Speak of the devil, Drummer came out from the house wearing a bulky overcoat that clung to his belly, and a knitted hat atop his bald cranium. He stopped at the border between grass and pavement, and shook his head with a tut. "You won't be finished by sundown at this rate."

"Couldn't I have a break? My back is killing me..."

"Wait until you're my age, then we can talk about backs," Drummer grumbled back. "You wouldn't complain so much if you did your own chores at home. Now you know how your poor mother feels."

"Yeah, yeah..." Scott gave another push of the lawnmower, the motor vibrations shuddering up his arms. "But surely this could have waited until after Christmas? I can barely push the thing..."

"Ah, quit whining!" As Scott came closer, Drummer proceeded to pull a Santa hat from inside his coat, and hastily shoved it onto the boy's head. "There we go, may as well be festive while you're out here. When you're done with the lawn, I'll find you something warmer to do. Cleaning the stove, maybe..." He wandered back to the house with a cackle.

Scott groaned. His neighbor was deliberately making this tough for him. They weren't exactly on good terms after he knocked a tennis ball into his greenhouse, but this was too far. He sighed. "I wish Mr. Drummer would treat me better..." But that was as likely as catching Santa in the act. After a moment of self-pity, he got back to mowing the lawn.

Wednesday, 14 December 2022

Proof

I can't believe I've been grounded! So Mom caught me smoking one little cigarette, what's the big deal? S'not like I do it all the time. That she knows... Besides, it was all Tony's fault! He was the one who gave it to me in the first place. But he doesn't get in trouble, I do... And who cares if I smoke? Mom says it's a nasty habit, and can ruin your life. But lots of people do it every day, and they're just fine. Plus, Grandpa smokes! And he's healthier than all the other old people I've met. If only I could prove that Mom's acting all protective for no reason, then maybe I can get ungrounded...

It's a good thing I have this hat. Brett says that these promotional Santa hats everyone's been getting have some sorta weird power in them. He says that he wished for better grades at school, and now he's the smartest kid in class! Sure, he always was a genius, but I s'pose it changes other peoples' memories too? At least, that's what it sounded like when he explained it to me. And he's the brainiest guy I know, so it's gotta be true! 

I stuck the Santa hat on my head, and sighed. This better work... I thought through exactly what I wanted, and after a few minutes, I said out loud, "I wish I could prove I'll live a long life even if I smoke..." I waited, hoping that maybe some useful evidence or knowledge would suddenly come to me. But nothing. I can't believe I actually thought Brett was telling the truth. I feel so stupid...

I slammed a fist onto my bedside table, only for the drawer to slide open. Weird, it's never done that before. As I was about to close it, I noticed something inside. I reached in, and pulled out some weird looking log. I gave it a smell, and recognized the tobacco. Of course, it's a cigar! But I never put a cigar in there. And I don't know anyone who smokes them. Even Grandpa sticks to his fancy pipes. Still, it's pretty cool to have around. I put the cigar between my teeth, and was surprised as it automatically lit itself. Then I knew. This was exactly what I needed. If I want to prove I'll live a long life, then that's what I'll have to do. The magic hat was working!

Saturday, 3 December 2022

License To Drink

"Come oooon, dad! Just one drink?"

"Absolutely not!"

"But it's Christmas!"

"Not for another 3 weeks, it's not. Not like that would make a difference..."

Max sulked as his dad walked off to greet another couple who had just knocked at the door. He was almost 16, he was practically an adult. It's not like he'd never tried beer before, so why did it matter if he had a little drink? It was a party! It wasn't even a cool party, just a gathering of some people his parents knew. None of his friends were allowed to come. At least alcohol would make things interesting...

Max knocked the white bobble on his Santa hat out of his face, and grumbled to himself. "I wish I could drink alcohol without getting into trouble..."

He slunk into the kitchen, preparing to grab a plate of finger food before retreating to his bedroom for the evening, when he stumbled into his uncle Jack, who had a sly grin on his face. "I overheard your little tiff with your pa."

"Yeah, so?" Max griped. He didn't want to talk to anyone else. Jack tapped his nose, then suddenly produced a bottle of beer from behind his back. Max's eyes lit up, as he snatched it from his uncle's hands. "O-M-G, you wouldn't!"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "It's a teen's nature to rebel, and who am I to deny nature?" He reasoned as he took the bottle back, pouring the amber contents into a plastic red cup. "Don't worry, I'll keep your ol' pa occupied."

Max was bubbling with excitement as he took the cup from his uncle. "Thank you! You're the coolest!" Jack merely put a finger to his lips, then strutted into the main party room, straight up to his younger brother. Max ducked further into the kitchen, and took a moment to appreciate his alcoholic gift before taking a gulp from the cup. It burned the back of his throat, and sent a shiver down his spine. He'd forgotten how bitter beer could taste. He didn't like it much the first time, and it still left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. But he couldn't pass up his uncle's offering. He braced himself, then gulped down the whole cup in one go.

Sunday, 13 November 2022

Grandfather Clock

Tick...Tick...Tick... Greg stared at the grandfather clock with a frown, his arms crossed. The mystery of the clock had consumed him for the entirety of his stay at his grandpa's house. It ticked, which would usually mean it worked. And yet the hands had been stuck at 1:30 all weekend. Whenever he got close, his grandpa would shoo him away, warning him not to get too close. But why did he care? It didn't look fragile or expensive, unlike the other antiques in the room.

Greg stood in front of the clock, watching the pendulum swing left to right. Its incessant ticking taunting him. It was clearly working, so why was the time completely wrong? He looked at his phone to see that it was many hours out of time. If only he could nudge the hands to the correct time, it might restart and begin working once more. But his grandpa... Thinking on it, he hadn't seen or heard his Grandpa Drew all morning. He slunk through the house, looking for the old man, eventually finding him dozing outside with the morning newspaper resting on his belly. Greg grinned, this was perfect!

He rushed back to the clock and gingerly placed a finger on the wooden panel. Then his whole hand. Then the other. Greg smiled mischievously. He was touching the grandfather clock and his grandpa wouldn't even know! As long as he kept his grubby fingers to the wood and not the glass, he wouldn't risk leaving a stray fingerprint. Now all he had to do was adjust the time. He reached up on his tiptoes, and pushed against the minute hand to move it backwards. Yet try as he might, it just wouldn't budge. Gingerly, he nudged it forwards, and the hand moved! Doing so made a weird tingle go down his back. He chocked it up to the thrill of doing something against the rules.

Friday, 22 July 2022

Fortunes Told

"Look what I found in my pocket!" I glanced up from my phone, and watched as Jonesy produced a large cigar with a big grin. "Isn't that cool?" He chuckled, putting it up to his lips like he was smoking.

 "Hey, don't smoke it!" I cried, trying to reach up and snatch it from him. But Jonesy had the height and weight advantage, keeping me a fair distance away until I stopped thrashing. Then he poked his tongue out at me. Real mature... I grunted, "Are you even allowed to smoke here?"

"First of all, I can do whatever I want since I'm an adult. Besides, I made sure to check before we entered and, as long as we stay in this area, it's allowed."

"Why would you check for a smoking area?"

"In case I wanted to smoke!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed as Jonesy produced a lighter from another pocket. Where was he getting this stuff from... "So you've never smoked in your life, and just wanted to start because...?"

"That's just the kind of guy I am now. I don't know why you're so hung up on it. Unless..." He waggled his eyebrows from beneath his sunglasses as he leaned in closer, then whispered in my ear, "you're jealous..."

I swatted Jonesy away, and he fell into a laughing fit, almost dropping his cigar in the process. I buried my head in the menu to hide my reddening cheeks. He was right, I was jealous. Not that I was going to admit it to Jonesy's stupid, bald, wrinkly, old face. It wasn't because I wanted to smoke, that's just disgusting. It's the other thing... The fact that my baby bro was now some big, old muscle man. Not only that, but he keeps acting more like an actual adult, and I'm beginning to forget he was even my brother...

Friday, 15 July 2022

Pep Talk

 

Okay... You're okay... So you're suddenly big and hairy and old... But that's fine! You'll find a way to...to not be big a-and hairy and...old... Just be cool, you're just a normal guy who's washing his hands, and you're gonna... AH!

I leap back from the sink and clutch my chest, before whipping my hand away as it brushes against my chest hair... Ugh, it still sounds weird to say it. My chest hair. I have chest hair. And stomach hair. And back hair, ew... I grip the edge of the sink to stop my legs from collapsing again, and exhale a deep sigh. I need to ground myself, and recall what happened...

Friday, 1 July 2022

Test Subject

 What luck! Just as I was wondering how to discreetly test my latest, ingenius invention, the perfect test subject happened to board the bus. He was your typical, defiant teenager who had decided that long, greasy hair, spiked accessories, and a liberal usage of eyeliner really stuck it to the man. He trudged to the back of the bus, dumping his bag covered with band buttons in the seat next to him. He was completely oblivious to the world around him, oblivious to me and my wonderful invention.

I swung open the device in my lap and aimed the transmitter at the goth, smiling as a list of attributes ran down the screen. Phase one worked perfectly. Now to put it into action... I decided to start with something subtle. Those unsightly ear gauges would do perfectly. I tapped in my desires and held my breath, trying not to stare as I waited... Then it happened! I stifled a squeal of glee as the large, plastic hoops melted and dripped out of his enlarged ear lobes. The liquid glided effortlessly around his ears and joined above his forehead, forming a standard pair of sunglasses. Meanwhile, his droopy ear lobes rolled back up, tightening and molding until there was no sign he'd ever pierced his ears, let alone stretched them out.

I couldn't believe it, my invention worked! I mean of course it worked, I am a genius after all. But to show such promise in its initial test run? I couldn't hope for any better! That goth brat was entirely unaware as well, even when he reached up to touch the sunglasses, only to adjust their position. He didn't notice a thing!

Saturday, 25 December 2021

Santa's Wish

"Here you go, Brent. An early present from me. And be sure you stay on my nice list."

"What do you say to Santa?"

"T-thank you..."

"Hohoho! The pleasure's all mine. Have a very merry Christmas!"

Brent and his mother slipped away through the back of the grotto, Santa waving them off with a beaming smile. As the door closed, he slumped in his seat and dragged his hands down his face with an elongated groan. "Just one more week, Scott," he grumbled to himself. "One more week and you won't have to hohoho for another year..."

Scott had lived a long, hard, mundane life. He was born out of wedlock to a couple whose relationship was already on the rocks before feeling obligated to wed, with constant bickering and anger. Yet neither of them treated him with respect, only coldness and distance. He didn't achieve much in school, didn't even make it to college. He married early, giving up his lofty dreams to work in a mundane office job so he could provide for his wife and kids. And even then, his wife cheated on him with his best friend, kicking him to the curb. As his kids grew and moved onto greener pastures, he eventually found himself a lonesome retiree.

However, despite all of this pain, Scott had manged to keep a chipper and positive outlook. Even when he was a child, he always put the needs of other people before his own. He spent countless hours volunteering at charity events and blood drives. Soup kitchens and beach cleanings. He deemed everyone else's needs to be more important than his own. Always smiling as his own world crashed down around him.

Which was why Christmas was such an important holiday for Scott. It was a time for sharing, for togetherness, for bonding. The only light in his life now was Christmas time, when he could put his large stature and bushy beard to good use posing as Santa in the nearby mall. However, it was getting harder and harder to portray the big guy. Longer days, longer hours, and more and more families trying to get their kids to see him. Plus, he was only getting on in years. Maybe he was getting too old to play Santa. For the first time in his twelve years, Scott was glad it was almost Christmas Eve, and he could have a good long rest back in his own home. Alone...

"Are you ready, Santa?" A chipper young elf helper asked, bringing him back to his senses.

Scott pulled himself up in his seat, getting into Santa mode, and nodded. "Bring the next one in."

Monday, 20 September 2021

Into The Convention

 So in an unusual turn of events, I'm throwing out a spoiler warning. If you haven't seen Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, then I suggest you do so before reading this. Otherwise, enjoy!


It was a bright weekend morning at the World Plaza Hotel, and the lobby was buzzing with activity. The annual comic convention had come to town, bringing hundreds of cosplaying fanatics to the hotel. The conference halls were packed and everyone was ready for a good time. Everyone except Andy. He stared out of his hotel room window, too high to even make out what was happening down below, and sighed.

The only reason he came on this trip was the convention. When he found our his dad was staying at the hotel for a business trip on the same weekend, Andy pleaded to tag along for the ride. His dad eventually broke down, but there was a catch. Since the trip was strictly for work purposes, they could only visit the convention in the afternoon. Andy reluctantly obliged but in hindsight, he may as well have stayed home given how he couldn’t even leave the room by himself.

At least he still could watch his favourite movie as much as he wanted. He was already on his third rewatch that day. But it was so good, he couldn't bring himself to watch anything else. Plus, it helped hype him up for his first convention. He jumped back on his bed and grinned as an animated Spider-Man appeared on screen. Andy was the biggest Spider-Man fan, maybe ever. He'd seen every movie, every cartoon series, and read some of the old comics that they kept in the library. He even dreamed of Spider-Man every night. His favourite? Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, obviously. It had not one Spider-Man, but multiple Spider-People! He had almost memorised the script to heart. Yet not even the thrill and hilarity of Miles Morales discovering his new powers could quieten his mind.

Andy looked to his suitcase, where his very own Spider-Man costume lay waiting, his thoughts turning to the previous day. He peeked into one of the conference halls while his dad checked into the hotel, and they were still setting everything up. As he walked away in disappointment, he accidentally bumped into an old man with a thick moustache and sent several boxes crashing to the floor. Of course, he offered to help clean up the mess as any do-gooder would do. He was tickled to learn that the old man was a costume vendor who dabbled in comic and movie accurate outfits. Andy was desperate to see what Spider-Man costumes he had, but his dad interrupted them before he could ask. The old man handed him a business card before scurrying back into the conference room. Andy shoved it into his pocket without even a glance. 

The movie had reached the end of its first act, and Andy was tearing up. No matter how many times he saw it, the moment where Spider-Man sacrificed himself to save Miles always packed a heavy punch. The city had come to a halt to hold a memorial service for Peter Parker, and Miles was preparing to purchase a costume in remembrance. Andy wiped away his tears and shuffled closer to the screen as Miles approached the counter. The shop owner looked mighty familiar. Any Marvel fan worth their weight would recognise the moustachioed old man, but Andy had someone else in mind... He dug into his pockets and pulled out the card he was given. It was solid black with gold lettering. 

JK/SL COSTUMING - THE COSTUME OF YOUR DREAMS

Andy chuckled softly as he wiped a thumb over the embossed words. His dream was to be like Spider-Man, but that was never going to happen. Radioactive spiders weren't real, let alone super powers. He'd done enough research online to know that much. He dropped the card on the floor and looked back up to the screen. He didn't notice as the card shimmered in the window light beam.

Thursday, 24 December 2020

The North Pole Experience

The Christmas Market couldn’t come soon enough for the Phoenix Square Mall. Every year, the mall’s annual attendance was dwindling, but every Christmas was the busiest one yet. What was once a three week holiday event had been stretched to nearly six, with other underperforming annual events cancelled so that their budgets could go to the Christmas Market.

The cost was apparent to Avery and Christian as they walked into Phoenix Square. The entire atrium of the mall was now an enormous two-story snowglobe that you entered, a replica of a Dickensian village with fully functional holiday stores hawking their wares. Fake snow drifted down from the ceiling, and the air smelled like chestnuts and cinnamon - it was hard to tell whether the scent was authentic or piped in. Regardless, it sure made the place feel inviting, even cozy, which was impressive given its size.

The two young men were college roommates and, in their second year of living together, were now good friends as well. Whatever algorithm matched them up freshman year knew what it was doing. They were both meteorology majors who had no interest in being weathermen, but instead were fascinated by actual atmospheric science. That didn’t stop friends and family from treating them like weathermen, however. Especially as Christmas was approaching, all eyes were on them for predicting a white Christmas. With the big day still weeks away, they’d have more luck predicting next year’s Superbowl champions.

Outside of their passion for weather, they were also passionate gamers. Avery was an up-and-coming Twitch streamer whose fierce competitiveness and witty banter was giving him more notoriety every day. Meanwhile, Christian preferred to keep his gaming sessions private, even if he was a whiz at Minecraft who spent hours designing vast, intricate kingdoms in his spare time.

After a quick look around at the stalls selling handmade gifts, the two roommates settled on a bench outside of a larger than life gingerbread house that contained a stall selling sweet treats, its whimsical exterior and enticing aroma had suckered them in. It gave them an exceptional view of the very center of the atrium and its pièce de résistance - a giant, extravagantly decorated Christmas tree that almost touched the domed skylight it sat underneath. It was lavished with baubles and tinsel of shimmering gold and silver, wreaths of holly and poinsettias, life-size nutcrackers and bold colored presents. The glamorous star atop the tree glistened in the late morning sun, shining independent of the other sparkling decorations. It was almost too extravagant for the mall it preceded in.

Next to the tree was a rustic cottage painted a deep red hue and dusted with fake snow. The series of chain link ropes that led towards it were the only indicator for what was inside. Or rather, who would eventually be inside. With Halloween still fresh on the mind and Thanksgiving just around the corner, it appeared that the mall wasn’t quite ready for Santa Claus to make his appearance.

“Do kids even believe in the big guy these days?” Avery asked between sips of overpriced hot cocoa and gingerbread ‘roof tile’ cookies.

“Of course they do,” Christian replied with a small chuckle. “My nephew’s already written his letter to Santa.” He dug his phone out of his hoodie pocket and pulled up his family Whatsapp group as proof.

Avery rolled his eyes, scratching at the wispy goatee circling his chin. “Yeah, but he’s three. He probably thinks that surveillance elf moves on its own too.”

Christian groaned and jabbed Avery with his elbow. “Geez, who put coal in your stocking?”

“I’m just saying, I found out it was my parents before I even entered kindergarten.”

“Surprisingly, not everyone’s been desensitized to the holidays like you.”

“You would be too if you had to work retail. I still get flashbacks when I hear Jingle Bell Rock…”


After chugging the remnants of his cocoa, Christian stood up and stretched out his wiry body. “Well we’d better leave this Christmas hellhole before you get PTSD from the carolers.”

“Har har. Even you have to admit it’s too early to start celebrating. How can I celebrate Christmas when the leaves are still changing color?”

“Okay boomer…”

“Hey, you take that back!” Avery yelled as Christian jogged away with a cackle, his long, ginger hair bouncing with every step. Avery went to dart after him, but suddenly his way was blocked: a slim, short man in a jangly costume leapt into his path with a flourish and a smile.

“Pardon me, sir!” the ‘elf’ said, and Avery could see why the guy had been cast. He had a naturally smooth, youthful face and a petite build. The little pointy prosthetics he wore on the tops of his ears fit him well. “I’m Pippin, and I’m in need of some assistance.”

By this point, Christian had circled back to stand next to Avery. “How can we help you, Pippin?” he asked, earning a nudge in the ribs from Avery who could spot an impending sales pitch a mile away.

“As you know, we want every year at the Christmas Market to be the best year yet! This year we’ve added an interactive experience inspired by Santa Claus and his legendary workshop at the North Pole, and we’re looking for participants to playtest it to ensure it works and, more importantly, is fun! It would take up to two hours but you can check out at any time if it’s not for you, and there’s a handsome reward waiting at the end for those who complete it. I already have three testers ready, I’m just looking for two more to round out our group.”

“When would we need to come back?”

“Oh, it’s right now,” Pippin smiled.

“Oh.” Avery turned to Christian with a sigh. “Well, we were just about to, uhm…browse the sale in-”

“Oh, that can wait,” Christian interrupted. “The mall’s open for hours, this sounds interesting.”

Avery pulled Christian aside. “You seriously want to do this?”

“Why not? We were just talking about how we have nothing to do today. Besides, it sounds right up your alley. You always dreamed of being a games tester.“

"Yeah, video games! Not hokey Christmas carnival games!”

“Ohoho, this is more than a carnival,” Pippin piped up unannounced, making the men flinch from surprise. “It’s a multi-sensory, interactive experience that will fill you with holiday cheer!”

“See? People pay top dollar for things like this and he’s letting us try it out for free! Not only that, we’re getting paid at the end-”

“He didn’t say we’re getting paid, he said there’s a reward.”

“A handsome reward!” Pippin chimed in.

“And we can tap out if it sucks,” Christian reminded Avery. “I’ll just leave and grab some wings if I’m not having fun.” A sudden, sly grin crept across Christian’s lips. "Actually, how’s about we make things interesting? Whoever drops out first gets to clean the apartment for the next month. Plus, if you make it all the way to the end, we’ll go wherever you want to eat in the mall, dinner’s on me.”

“Oh, that’s sneaky. You know I love a good challenge…” Avery whined with a frown. He tapped his foot impatiently, then sighed and stuck out his hand. “You better be prepared to pay up. I’m thinking Korean barbecue for my victory meal.”

“We’ll see about that,” Christian replied as they shook on the arranged bet.