The North Pole Experience

The Christmas Market couldn’t come soon enough for the Phoenix Square Mall. Every year, the mall’s annual attendance was dwindling, but every Christmas was the busiest one yet. What was once a three week holiday event had been stretched to nearly six, with other underperforming annual events cancelled so that their budgets could go to the Christmas Market.

The cost was apparent to Avery and Christian as they walked into Phoenix Square. The entire atrium of the mall was now an enormous two-story snowglobe that you entered, a replica of a Dickensian village with fully functional holiday stores hawking their wares. Fake snow drifted down from the ceiling, and the air smelled like chestnuts and cinnamon - it was hard to tell whether the scent was authentic or piped in. Regardless, it sure made the place feel inviting, even cozy, which was impressive given its size.

The two young men were college roommates and, in their second year of living together, were now good friends as well. Whatever algorithm matched them up freshman year knew what it was doing. They were both meteorology majors who had no interest in being weathermen, but instead were fascinated by actual atmospheric science. That didn’t stop friends and family from treating them like weathermen, however. Especially as Christmas was approaching, all eyes were on them for predicting a white Christmas. With the big day still weeks away, they’d have more luck predicting next year’s Superbowl champions.

Outside of their passion for weather, they were also passionate gamers. Avery was an up-and-coming Twitch streamer whose fierce competitiveness and witty banter was giving him more notoriety every day. Meanwhile, Christian preferred to keep his gaming sessions private, even if he was a whiz at Minecraft who spent hours designing vast, intricate kingdoms in his spare time.

After a quick look around at the stalls selling handmade gifts, the two roommates settled on a bench outside of a larger than life gingerbread house that contained a stall selling sweet treats, its whimsical exterior and enticing aroma had suckered them in. It gave them an exceptional view of the very center of the atrium and its pièce de résistance - a giant, extravagantly decorated Christmas tree that almost touched the domed skylight it sat underneath. It was lavished with baubles and tinsel of shimmering gold and silver, wreaths of holly and poinsettias, life-size nutcrackers and bold colored presents. The glamorous star atop the tree glistened in the late morning sun, shining independent of the other sparkling decorations. It was almost too extravagant for the mall it preceded in.

Next to the tree was a rustic cottage painted a deep red hue and dusted with fake snow. The series of chain link ropes that led towards it were the only indicator for what was inside. Or rather, who would eventually be inside. With Halloween still fresh on the mind and Thanksgiving just around the corner, it appeared that the mall wasn’t quite ready for Santa Claus to make his appearance.

“Do kids even believe in the big guy these days?” Avery asked between sips of overpriced hot cocoa and gingerbread ‘roof tile’ cookies.

“Of course they do,” Christian replied with a small chuckle. “My nephew’s already written his letter to Santa.” He dug his phone out of his hoodie pocket and pulled up his family Whatsapp group as proof.

Avery rolled his eyes, scratching at the wispy goatee circling his chin. “Yeah, but he’s three. He probably thinks that surveillance elf moves on its own too.”

Christian groaned and jabbed Avery with his elbow. “Geez, who put coal in your stocking?”

“I’m just saying, I found out it was my parents before I even entered kindergarten.”

“Surprisingly, not everyone’s been desensitized to the holidays like you.”

“You would be too if you had to work retail. I still get flashbacks when I hear Jingle Bell Rock…”

After chugging the remnants of his cocoa, Christian stood up and stretched out his wiry body. “Well we’d better leave this Christmas hellhole before you get PTSD from the carolers.”

“Har har. Even you have to admit it’s too early to start celebrating. How can I celebrate Christmas when the leaves are still changing color?”

“Okay boomer…”

“Hey, you take that back!” Avery yelled as Christian jogged away with a cackle, his long, ginger hair bouncing with every step. Avery went to dart after him, but suddenly his way was blocked: a slim, short man in a jangly costume leapt into his path with a flourish and a smile.

“Pardon me, sir!” the ‘elf’ said, and Avery could see why the guy had been cast. He had a naturally smooth, youthful face and a petite build. The little pointy prosthetics he wore on the tops of his ears fit him well. “I’m Pippin, and I’m in need of some assistance.”

By this point, Christian had circled back to stand next to Avery. “How can we help you, Pippin?” he asked, earning a nudge in the ribs from Avery who could spot an impending sales pitch a mile away.

“As you know, we want every year at the Christmas Market to be the best year yet! This year we’ve added an interactive experience inspired by Santa Claus and his legendary workshop at the North Pole, and we’re looking for participants to playtest it to ensure it works and, more importantly, is fun! It would take up to two hours but you can check out at any time if it’s not for you, and there’s a handsome reward waiting at the end for those who complete it. I already have three testers ready, I’m just looking for two more to round out our group.”

“When would we need to come back?”

“Oh, it’s right now,” Pippin smiled.

“Oh.” Avery turned to Christian with a sigh. “Well, we were just about to, uhm…browse the sale in-”

“Oh, that can wait,” Christian interrupted. “The mall’s open for hours, this sounds interesting.”

Avery pulled Christian aside. “You seriously want to do this?”

“Why not? We were just talking about how we have nothing to do today. Besides, it sounds right up your alley. You always dreamed of being a games tester.“

"Yeah, video games! Not hokey Christmas carnival games!”

“Ohoho, this is more than a carnival,” Pippin piped up unannounced, making the men flinch from surprise. “It’s a multi-sensory, interactive experience that will fill you with holiday cheer!”

“See? People pay top dollar for things like this and he’s letting us try it out for free! Not only that, we’re getting paid at the end-”

“He didn’t say we’re getting paid, he said there’s a reward.”

“A handsome reward!” Pippin chimed in.

“And we can tap out if it sucks,” Christian reminded Avery. “I’ll just leave and grab some wings if I’m not having fun.” A sudden, sly grin crept across Christian’s lips. "Actually, how’s about we make things interesting? Whoever drops out first gets to clean the apartment for the next month. Plus, if you make it all the way to the end, we’ll go wherever you want to eat in the mall, dinner’s on me.”

“Oh, that’s sneaky. You know I love a good challenge…” Avery whined with a frown. He tapped his foot impatiently, then sighed and stuck out his hand. “You better be prepared to pay up. I’m thinking Korean barbecue for my victory meal.”

“We’ll see about that,” Christian replied as they shook on the arranged bet.“Excellent! If you would just sign these non-disclosure forms…” Pippin passed his clipboard to the men, who each signed their names. “I hope you’re both prepared for a cracking time because you’re about to follow in the footsteps of ol’ Saint Nick himself!” They followed the faux elf to a nondescript door marked NO ENTRY. “The proper entrance is still under construction, but rest assured it will be magical!”

“Aha…”

They followed him into the passageway and took a sharp right into a small break room. Inside were three other people. The youngest was a round faced teenager, slightly taller than the elf but just as slim. As soon as Avery entered, the teen’s eyes lit up with recognition. He pointed and declared, “OMG, you’re AlderaanAntics! My friend is, like, legit obsessed with you!”

“Only your friend, huh?” Avery said with a smug smirk. He hardly ever got recognised, so he’d still take the sliver of approval.

The high schooler blushed. “I’m not much of a gamer myself. My friend keeps making me watch comp vids during study hall. But he is going to flip when he finds out I met you!”

“Ah, see?” Christian said with a jovial jab of his elbow. “We haven’t even started and you’re making friends.”

One of the other participants, a man with an unshaven face and a slight belly, grunted and stood up from his seat. “Whoopee… Now can we finally start this thing? I got stuff to return…”

“Why join up if you have things to do?”

The man shrugged his shoulders. “The elf said there’d be freebies.”

“That there is!” Pippin giggled as he opened another door at the back of the room. “If you’d like to follow me, we’ll get you suited up for your big moment!”

“Woah, nobody said anything about a clothes change!” The final man said apprehensively.

“Not to worry, it’s a figure of expression. Mostly…” Pippin guided the group into the following room, an inviting, warm room with a fake crackling fireplace. But all eyes were on the large mannequin in the center of the room wearing a full Santa suit. “So to start off, we have this little ice breaker to see how well you can fill the jolly man’s boots!”

They looked at the suit apprehensively until Avery asked the question on everyone’s mind. “Do we have to try it on?”

“Well no, but then you won’t be able to continue on the rest of this special experience…”

“Aw, it’s just a little fun,” the teen replied, already at the foot of the mannequin and removing the red robe. It was clearly a struggle for him, and when he put it around his shoulders, it looked like he’d wrapped himself in a red duvet. “It’s really heavy,” he said, voice a bit strained from the weight. The bottom of the coat hung all the way to his knees. He pulled the pants on right over his own jeans, so loose and baggy that he could pull the waist up to his chest. “How big is this guy supposed to be?!” the kid laughed as he took off the clothes and handed them to one of the twentysomething men closest to him. He sidled up to Avery and extended his hand. “I’m Josh, by the way!”

“Hey Josh. I’m Avery. This is Christian.”

“Hey dude,” Christian waved. “Love the enthusiasm.”

“Thanks! I hope the prize is money or a gift card or somethin’. I want to get people better presents this year,” Josh grinned, watching the other participants struggle their way through trying on the bulky, oversized Santa suit.

When it was Avery and Christian’s turn, they didn’t have much more success than Josh, except for drowning slightly less in the folds of fabric. “I don’t think I look good wearing all red anyway,” Avery joked.

“Maybe when you get a big white beard, it’ll offset the color some,” Christian laughed as he shook out of the massive jacket. “Dang, Josh, you weren’t kidding, man. This thing is for an NFL lineman.”

“Told ya!” Josh said as he looked on, giving his own shaggy brown hair a shake.

“Are we supposed to…do anything, while we’re wearing this?” Avery asked as he shimmied his way out of the fuzzy red pants. “Or people are just gonna try on this huge Santa suit and that’s just it?”

“Well, part of this experience is the feedback! I think you’ll find the next area much more built out. Which reminds me…” Pippin produced five pairs of 3D glasses from his pocket. “Put these on for our journey to the North Pole!”

“Hoo boy,” Avery huffed under his breath as the group trailed into a small room. With the glasses on, it took him a moment to realize the walls were all video screens - the first sign of this thing having a real budget - which then came to life. A cheery, technologically impressive video played that took a first-person perspective of the viewer climbing into a sleigh in the middle of the Phoenix Square Mall, launching them out the main doors and into the sky on a journey to the North Pole. Stars flew by - even an airplane, at one point - and heartwarming music played over the soundtrack as the “sleigh” swirled down over ice caps and polar bears before landing in front of a towering estate made from logs and candy: Santa’s Workshop itself.

“Welcome!” Pippin trumpeted, opening the next set of doors on the other side of the video room. The group followed him into an opulently decorated space that teemed with Christmas cheer, gifts, and sweets. The air was crisp and cool, as if sub-zero temperatures lurked just outside the window, and it smelled of pine needles and cinnamon.

“Cooooooooool,” Josh breathed, spinning around to take in every inch of the room.

“Okay, yeah, this is pretty neat,” Christian said to Avery, who nodded.

“It’s almost theme park caliber. I didn’t know the mall could afford something like this…”

The unshaven man scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Theme park? I’ve seen better effects at Six Flags… Isn’t this all a little kiddy for us? I’m getting a toothache just looking at the place.”

The other man nodded his head, then pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I hate to admit it but I agree with… Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.”

“Gabe. Short for Gabriel, but don’t ever call me that unless you want trouble.”

“Okay, Gabe… Well I’m Noel, short for Noel.” He chuckled to himself, tapering off as Gabe stayed stone-faced. “Yikes…” Noel mumbled under his breath before turning back to Pippin and saying, “Are you sure you wanted guys like us to test this thing? So far, it feels like something that would appeal more to my son.”

Pippin giggled that childlike laughter of his. “Not to worry! We’ve been playtesting with various core groups to ensure we have a fun and enjoyable experience for all ages!” Something about the way he spoke and smiled didn’t seem genuine. But it was enough to quell any further questions as he guided the group past a series of small Christmas trees, hanging wreaths and tinsel, and many piles of perfectly wrapped presents. Normally, Avery would have gagged at the sickly sweet decor but it was beginning to grow on him. Perhaps there was still a small spark of Christmas spirit in his bitter heart after all.

Eventually, Pippin brought the group to a halt. “With Christmas fast approaching, us elves are working incredibly hard to build all the toys that Santa will deliver next month.” Seemingly out of nowhere, he held up a baseball sized, transparent sphere that contained the image of a games console. “These imagispheres come directly from the dreams of every good boy and girl so we can ensure they get the exact present that they want. But a clumsy elf accidentally broke the transportation tube and now we have a problem on our hands!”

“Was it you?” Gabe grunted with a smirk.

Pippin ignored the grump, leading the small group around a corner of the workshop and presenting them with a sizable ball pit filled with colorful plastic balls and the occasional 'imagisphere’ containing an image of a toy. “We have our best elves working on fixing the transporter, but we could really use your help to match the imagispheres to the right children! And to bring out the competitive spirit, the person who finds their imagispheres the fastest will get a small prize.” Avery instantly perked up, things were starting to get interesting.

Josh, ever the enthusiastic, had already stepped up to the pit with an excited bounce. Pippin pressed a button on the contraption next to the pit and a selection of toys appeared on a screen behind them; a jump rope, building blocks, a baby doll, a board game, and a rocking horse. Avery leaned over to Christian and mumbled, “Does anyone even play with stuff like that anymore? They’re a little retro…” Christian shrugged his shoulders as Josh jumped into the pit with a happy cheer.

“Are you ready?” Pippin asked Josh, who nodded with enthusiasm. “Start searching.. Now!” A timer appeared under the list of toys and Josh began throwing colorful globes aside as he searched for his imagispheres. Luckily, they were significantly larger than the colored balls, it was only a matter of finding the right capsules. Every time he found one, he shoved it into a tube on the side of the wall which crossed it off the digital list and supposedly sent it off to the workshop. Finally, with the final imagisphere sent off, a victory theme rang out through the workshop.

As Josh climbed out of the pit, Avery blinked a few times and leaned over to Christian. “Wasn’t he as short as the elf earlier?”

“Huh? I don’t think I noticed. Why?”

“I know it sounds stupid but he looks taller…”

Sure enough, there was a significant height difference between Josh and Pippin, with the teenager now half a foot taller than the elf. Not only that, but his baggy pants were now ever so slightly too small for him, revealing his off-white socks. While Noel reluctantly took a dip in the ball pit, the screen behind him showed a series of superhero figures, Josh skipped over to the two college men with a grin. Avery couldn’t help but notice they were almost eye to eye when he could swear he looked down to speak to him just a moment ago. He also looked a little different in the face, his round cheeks looked sharper and gave him a more mature appearance. Then again, he’d only met the teen 15 minutes ago, maybe he was just remembering things wrong.

Josh stretched his arms upwards, his shirt riding up his torso a litte. “Wow that was fun! I don’t remember the last time I got to play in a ball pit like that. I probably found those balls in record time too!”

Avery raised an eyebrow and smirked . “Record? I bet I can beat it.”

“I thought your Mister Competition act was just a gimmick for your streams,” Josh said with a chuckle.

Christian shook his head with a sigh. “No, he’s just like that…”

Avery frowned and slapped Christian on the arm, while Noel finally clamoured out of the ball pit with a weary expression. Avery noticed something off about the man. Did he always have such a buff physique? His chest was noticeably well rounded and shaped by his taut shirt. Then with the glasses, he had a whole Clark Kent thing going on. Before Avery could get a better look at the man, Pippin looked at their direction and asked, “So who’s next?”

Avery stuck up his hand. “I’ll give it a shot.” He turned to Josh as he walked off. “Get ready to lose!”

Avery looked up at his toy selection - a mix of art supplies and Lego sets. He jumped into the pool and put all his gaming skills to the test. It was easy as anything, as almost every pod he reached out for contained the toy he needed. He burst out of the pool with a grin and cheered “Yes! Best time!” As he crawled out of the ball pit, he yanked down on his shirt, frowning at how snug it seemed to feel.

Next up was Christian who took a bit more time than the others given his toy list solely consisted of various teddy bears. He finally found his last pod and climbed out of the pool with a defeated smile. As he walked over to the other two, he said “They should have mixed it up a little. I kept grabbing the same bears over and over!” He paused as he noticed Avery staring at him. “What?”

“I swear you shaved this morning…”

“Well yeah, I shave every morning. I like to look presentable, unlike a certain goateed man I know…”

“Well you missed a spot. Riiiiight here.” Avery waved his hands and gestured at his entire face.

Christian frowned and reached up to feel his cheeks which were now red with thick stubble. He rubbed the sandpaper texture with a frown. “Huh, maybe I did forget…”

Avery noticed a few ginger hairs poking out from Christian’s shirt collar too. He’d seen his friend topless before and he had less than a dozen chest hairs, which was a bit of a sore spot for the man. Avery tried to shake the thought from his mind with a joke. “I didn’t realise you were getting so grizzly.”

“I could say the same to you. Though a full beard would look more flattering on you than that little chin…thing.”

“What? I don’t…” Avery began to say before he raised a hand to his face, feeling the coarse scratch of a densely stubbled cheek. He froze at the sensation, too afraid to speak. The reason he had a chin goatee was because it was the only part of his face that grew hair. And now it felt like he had a stubble so dense, he could cut glass with it.

“If I had beard game like you guys, I’d never shave!” Josh piped up unhelpfully.

Suddenly, the final victory bell rang. Pippin cheered as Gabe escaped from the ball pit with an accomplished smirk. Avery couldn’t help but notice that the man who was the only one originally with an unshaven face was now sporting a short, handsome beard. Not only that, but his small belly had all but vanished, his shirt baggy against his flat stomach. There was definitely something going on. Maybe it was best to leave… But he couldn’t admit defeat to Christian, not so early in the game. He didn’t want to face a month of chores, after all.

“Wow! With a time of 1 minute 43 seconds, Gabe is the clear winner of our first challenge!” Gabe strutted back to the group with a smug grin, a bit too full of himself. Pippin followed him, handing over a small piece of paper. “Thanks to one of our many sponsors, you’ve won a premium invitation to the Doll Design Studio, where the Dollhouse Dreamers will personally assist you in creating your new best friend!”

“The toy store?” Gabe growled, the smile slipping from his face. “You wouldn’t catch me anywhere near that hellhole! All that work for nothin’…”

“Can I have it?” Josh asked, soldiering through some embarrassing voice cracks. “There’re a lot of little girls in my family, I’m sure one of them would love it.”

Gabe thrust the coupon over to Josh, who said thanks as he put it in his wallet. Pippin piped up once again. “We’ve managed to fix the imagisphere transporter and the workshop is back up and running However, before we move onto the main workshop, we have a little treat for all of your help so far!”

Opening the set of doors beside the ball pit, Pippin ushered the men into a small waiting room. There was a row of mirrors along one side of the wall, and several comfortable chairs in front of them.

“Christmas is the time for giving, ” Pippin trumpeted proudly, “so throughout the experience, you’ll have the opportunity to try some special treats courtesy of the generous stores in our wonderful mall!” Pippin walked up to a small circular table covered with small bottles and picked one up. “What many people don’t think about is that Christmas is Santa Claus’ one big night of the year. So of course, he wants to look his best! That’s why we’ve partnered with Burlyman Beard Oil, so that every child sees Santa’s beard perfectly groomed!”

“And that’s what kids really care about,” Christian joked under his breath. “Santa’s beard oil.” Avery turned to him and laughed, then jolted - Christian had a full red beard. How had that….when did that…it looked like it’d been growing for months. And Christian was 20, so his beard was patchy and disconnected. But the beard he sported now was thick and dense.

Avery was even more shocked when he raised his palm to his own cheek and felt fluffy, impenetrable whiskers. “What is this…” he breathed.

“Since all of you have full beards - except for one,” he said, and Josh’s head hung with disappointment, “we thought you’d like to try Santa’s favorite products for yourself!”

By then, the other men were realizing the states of their own facial hair. Hands were patting faces. Eyes were wide. But they still followed Pippin’s directions and grabbed one of the small bottles before settling in front of the mirrors, oiling up their new beards and brushing them to tame any bushiness.

“Guess I’m sitting this one out,” Josh said from the side, his smooth face practically glowing in comparison to the hairy ones surrounding him.

“Why not rub some on anyway!” Pippin suggested. “It’s free after all, and I’m sure someday you’ll need to know the process!”

Josh seemed unconvinced, but he still accepted a bottle and parked himself in front of a mirror. He poured a bit of oil into his palms and rubbed it directly on his cheeks. As he did so, Avery and Christian were looking at each other in their mirrors.

“Dude, I swear your beard just got longer. Like…that’s something that’s been growing a year or more.”

“Is something happening?” Christian murmured, briefly distracted by a giggling Josh shaking some oil down the front of his shirt. “Should I oil my chest hair since I actually have some?”

“Some? It looks like you have a wreath around your neck.” Avery looked at all the hair curling out from the collar of Christian’s t-shirt. It puffed out of the top and the sides - his shoulders were furry too? Avery looked back at his own reflection, absent-mindedly brushing his own growing facial hair. His small goatee had all but flourished into a gorgeous brown beard that was already several inches long. Cautiously, Avery lifted his head slightly and tugged down on his collar. He gulped as he saw the inevitable, a healthy coverage of curls that spread across his chest and up towards his collarbone. It wasn’t as crazy and widespread as Christian’s abundant body hair but it was certainly more than he had when he woke up that morning.

“Look at the kid,” Christian said, wide-eyed, and Avery turned to see Josh looking in the mirror, admiring a face now covered with a heavy, dark five o’clock shadow. Tufts of black hair sprung out from the top of his t-shirt.

“No fuckin’ way.” Avery whirled back to Christian. “He didn’t have that before, right? Am I crazy? That’s almost a beard. He’s too young to have a beard, I think…but he kinda looks older, doesn’t he?”

"Having a beard will do that,” Christian replied as he followed Josh’s lead, adding a bit of oil to his palms and slipping them underneath his shirt to massage his torso. “You go from baby-faced to grizzled adult in an instant.”

“It’s not just the beard, I think he’s even got chest hair now, like the rest of us…” Avery put down his brush and spun his chair to face Christian. “Aren’t you weirded out by this? Am I the only one who thinks this is utterly insane? Look at me, look at us!” He gestured to their reflection where two thick bearded men sat together. “We were average college students and now we look like…like hipsters!”

Christian sighed and put down his comb. “I admit that excessive hair growth isn’t exactly normal, but it’s not like it’s a bad thing. I’ve always felt a little underdeveloped compared to the other guys in my family and now I actually feel like a man, you know?” Christian paused for a moment, continuing to rub his hands underneath his shirt. A smile cracked through his beard. “Check this out!”

He lifted his shirt to reveal the curls that were escaping from his shirt collar had continued their march to coat his stomach like a ginger moss. His formally slim waist looked noticeably thicker and there was even the impression of strong muscle underneath the furry covering.

“Woah! What the…how did…”

“Forget beard oil,” Christian said with a triumphant chuckle. “This stuff is like a miracle hair growth formula!”

“Somehow, I don’t think it’s the oil doing that…” Avery muttered under his breath.

Christian ignored him, stroking his furry torso with glee. “We should get a bottle of this stuff for Professor Allen so he can lose the cheap toupee. And maybe he’d forgive that little mistake I made in my report on ENSO.”

“That’s the least of our worries right now. Besides, getting El Niño and La Niña mixed up is more than a little mistake.”

“Hey, they’re two sides of the same coin. One’s warm, one’s cold. I just got a little confused…”

As he watched his friend explore his body, Avery slowly dropped a hand to his own stomach. Much like Christian, he didn’t have a lot in terms of body hair. But unlike Christian, it had never bothered him. He rubbed his tightening shirt, feeling the abnormal tug of follicles against fabric, but he was too afraid to lift it up and confirm his suspicions. Before he could gather the courage, Pippin clapped his hands together. “Alright, I think that’s enough preening. We still have plenty to experience. I hope you’re ready because we’re going to see the elves!”

Avery and Christian stood up and joined Josh, who was still rubbing oil through the dark whiskers that coated his face. It wasn’t as long and voluminous as the other men but it was more than a high schooler could believably grow. If he was still young enough to be in high school, that was. Even excusing the maturity a full beard could give a person, he was undeniably older than he was before they entered the workshop. His baby fat had all but vanished, replaced by the sharp and rugged features of a man. Then with his broader shoulders and wider chest, he wouldn’t have looked out of place on the college football team. Which begged the question of whether it was only Josh or had everyone gotten older underneath their wooly whiskers…

Josh grinned and said “I’ve always wanted a beard but nobody in, like, my entire family can grow one, except my uncle Barry who has a mustache but that’s, like, nothing compared to this!”

“You don’t think having a beard like that in high school is a little-”

Christian jabbed Avery in the ribs and muttered, “Quit acting like there’s a conspiracy. It’s all part of the experience!” Avery grumbled, it wasn’t a conspiracy, it was real. But he kept his mouth shut. “Lighten up before you end up as grumpy as Gabe.”

Gabe grunted at the mention of his name but didn’t reply, stroking his own bushy beard. It had outgrown everyone else’s, several inches long and covering his barrel chest with its healthy sheen. He almost looked proud to have such a long beard, especially compared to Noel whose whiskers were on the short side compared to the other men. Nevertheless, it made him look more mature, especially when paired with his slim glasses. In fact, in the right light, it almost looked like a few gray hairs scattered through his light hair. He scratched at his beard sheepishly, clearly unused to the feeling.

Pippin opened the doors to the workshop, then gasped in an overly theatrical fashion. “The workshop, it’s ruined!” He cried out as he stepped aside to let the men pass. The workshop was, indeed, in ruins. Large presents and broken toys scattered the floor, and smoke billowed from the fanciful machines at the back of the room. “This is terrible, Christmas could be ruined! What are we going to do?”

“Well you can stop the theatrics for one thing…” Gabe sighed, the elf continuing to test his patience.

“What’s that? You’ll help us fix the workshop?” Pippin cried, clearly following an arranged script. “Let’s start with the conveyor belts. There are five machines, so each of you take one and open them up to see what’s wrong.”

Avery, Christian, and Josh each took the machines in the middle while Gabe and Noel took the ones on the outer ends. Avery yanked open the machine door to find a bunch of missing cogs and parts. More or less what he expected to find, given the previous task.

“Oh dear, it looks like someone removed the pieces and put them in the presents! You’ll have to open them to find the missing parts, and fix the machines!”

“You say it like it happens all the time…” Avery said, achieving a few chuckles in response.

“Whoever fixes their machine first will get a little thank you gift from the elves and I!”

Avery suspected that gift was going to be another mall coupon. It wasn’t worth getting worked up for. But he also couldn’t let Grinchy Gabe win again…

Josh, of course, had already started, tackling the mid-sized presents first. In a show of his new strength, he picked up one box and ripped it in half like a party popper. Small rips and tears traversed up his short sleeves as his biceps bulged and his shoulders rippled. Avery was so taken aback by the display that he forgot to start. He couldn’t understand what was happening to Josh. Josh’s brow was furrowed in concentration, his bearded jaw thrust forward in a clench - it was a focused, intense expression, and when combined with his suddenly larger frame gave him a powerful presence in the room.

Something heavy crashed into Avery and he turned to see Noel struggling to stay upright. “Easy,” Avery said, supporting the man.

“Thanks,” Noel said sheepishly, finding his balance. He’d been stomping on the presents to open them faster, which was already hard enough, but Avery realized Noel also seemed taller. In fact, he was the tallest guy in the room now, and his jeans were like grapeskin over his powerful haunches. His thick thighs and round ass quivered with each present he opened, and the seams of his pants strained audibly whenever he bent down to pick up another piece.

Avery found his first piece by punching a hole straight into a box. “A-HA,” he said triumphantly as he produced the little silver cog, noting with surprise how big his hand was: thick-knuckled and hairy. His sleeves felt extra tight as his arms worked to open the presents, and he felt a similar burn in his shoulders. Something was happening. Christian looked bigger too, and hairier, but that was nothing compared to Gabe next to him, who was just all beard. Gabe’s hair hung past his ears, while his long beard had thickened with volume, grays now prominent within the mix of colors. He was built like a longshoreman, wide chest and thick arms-

A loud ripping sound pulled focus back to Josh, who was looking down at a tear in his t-shirt that started at the collar and reached nearly to his bellybutton. “Whoops,” he said, reddening under his beard. His chest had rounded into a pair of thick, prominent orbs covered in dark hair; pecs far too large for a youth t-shirt. Their protuberance was made more impressive by their new width, which propped Josh’s arms out to the side. He grinned at Avery as he scratched at his hairy chest. Avery, weirded out by the conversion from boy to man, hurriedly went back to finding his pieces. He was behind, he knew it-

“Got ‘em!” Christian said proudly, and Pippin headed over to inspect while the other men continued to work. Noel finished soon after, and then Josh, who Avery noticed was suddenly just as tall as Noel. Gabe was going slowly, methodically - in fact, his movements reminded Avery of an older man, which let Avery finish ahead of him.

“Dude, you’re a furball,” Avery whispered to Christian while they waited for Gabe to wrap it up. Christian’s wild beard hid his lower face and neck, just long enough to guide the eye to all the hair erupting out of his collar. His arms were covered in dense red fur, and judging by the way he kept scratching his ass, they weren’t the only parts.

“Yeah, hairy as fuck,” Christian agreed, still scratching at himself, but Avery detected some pride in Christian’s response.

“Congratulations to Christian for fixing his machine first!” Pippin applauded wildly, while the other competitors golf-clapped. “As a token of our appreciation, the elves have a selection of fine cigars from our friends at Gentlemen’s Emporium!” Pippin produced a carved wooden box with a large red ribbon around it and handed it to Christian.

“It’s a good thing I didn’t win, then, I’m too young to have those!” Josh laughed, white teeth cracking through his thick beard as he folded his arms across his thickly muscled chest. His hoarse teenaged voice was at odds with his tall, mature appearance.

“He looks old enough to rent a car,” Avery muttered to Christian. “Where would you put him? Late 20s? And he’s supposed to be in high school-”

“Hey guys, sorry, I gotta go,” rumbled Noel. The group turned and looked at the man - he was tall and imposing, beard short but impressively dense. The shape of his shoulders resembled a mountain range. To call him powerfully built was an understatement. “Just got a text that my son tripped and cut his knee at daycare. He’s fine but he wants to go home.”

“Aw, a wounded soldier,” Josh said. “He’s lucky to have a big, strong dad who loves him so much.”

Noel smiled. “Which way to the exit, Pippin?”

“I’ll lead you out,” Pippin said gallantly, unhooking a rope and pushing open a small door that led to a back hallway. When he put his hand on Noel’s back, the ill-fitting shirt tearing around Noel’s muscles seemed to get a bit bigger, and Avery swore he saw one of the rips mend itself.

“Thanks,” Noel said, before he pointed at Josh. “I’ll see you later.”

As Pippin and Noel walked out of view, Gabe turned to Josh. “You guys know each other too? I’m the only solo player?”

“No, we don’t,” Josh shrugged, a seam ripping over his trap muscle. “I don’t know what he meant by that. I’d never met him before this.”

“Well clearly he recognises you,” Gabe replied in a salty tone.

After a moment’s thought, Josh’s eyes widened. “I’m supposed to be going out for dinner with my parents tonight, maybe he’s one of their friends. Geez, that’d be embarrassing…”

Pippin burst back into the workshop. “Thank you for waiting patiently. While it is a shame to lose a group member, we must press on.” He guided the remaining men to the other side of the workshop and opened a nondescript door that led to a smaller room where four chairs sat around a table. “As a thank you for helping us fix the workshop, we’ve prepared a little treat for you. We’ve partnered up with Gillespie Brewery to provide you with these festive craft beers. You’ll find notes of ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg mixed with that signature malty taste.”

Gabe sat down with a hearty laugh and grabbed the nearest bottle. But the other three hesitated slightly. “What’s the matter?” he growled after taking a big gulp. “You pussies or summin’?”

“Uh, I’m clearly not old enough?” Josh said matter-of-factly, waving his sinewy arms up and down his brawny, hirsute body. “My mom would kill me if I had even a single drop!”

“We’ve both only turned twenty,” Christian added, pointing at Avery and himself. “Normally I’d throw caution to the wind but the security guards in this mall are real assholes…”

“How did we jump from toy shop vouchers to craft beer anyway? I thought this was supposed to be for the whole family,” Avery wondered aloud, throwing a longing glance to the cold brews. He could really do with a drink the way things were going.

“We adapt our sponsored gifts to those on the tour. I’m sorry, I assumed that such strong, virile men such as yourselves were all above the drinking age.”

Avery looked over to Gabe who was smugly savoring his craft brew. With his long, shaggy beard and broad stance, he looked more like a medieval king reveling in his luxury. A fire grew in Avery’s chest, a desire to not give up, not when he’d gotten so far. He sighed and muttered “Fuck it…” He grabbed a chair and joined the older man at the table, reaching out for one of the bottles.

“What are you doing dude?” Christian asked.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m having a brew. I think we’ve all matured enough by now. When else am I gonna try this shit anyway?”

“Not this again…” Christian mumbled as he took a seat next to Avery. Not wanting to be left out, Josh took the empty seat next to Gabe and grabbed a bottle, watching the other two intently before deciding whether to actually drink its contents. Christian continued, “Just because we might look a little bit older, that doesn’t mean we actually are.”

“No, we are definitely older,” Avery grunted as he popped the cap off his bottle “We’re all fuckin’ adults here! You think a 20 year old can look like you? You think a 16 year old could ever develop like Josh?”

“I mean, it’s possible… But-”

“No! You’re turning into the beefy furball you’ve always wanted to be so you’re ignoring the fact that this is insane. I give up! I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. I’m going to drink this beer and let whatever happens happen.”

Christian sighed and shook his head as Avery took a long, well-needed drag of his drink. He swished the concoction around his mouth. It certainly was different from the beer he usually got from dorm parties. Even without the delicate balance of spices, it clearly tasted more refined than the cheap swill he was used to. He laid back in his seat and smacked his lips in approval. Then he rubbed at his stomach and frowned. He felt a little bloated, but he hadn’t even eaten breakfast.

Avery glanced to his right to see Christian had given in and began chugging the final bottle. It looked like he was also suffering from bloatedness, his stomach poked outwards just enough to be considered a gut. Christian absent-mindedly rubbed his swollen abdomen with a smile. There was something off about his appearance that bugged Avery. But before he could figure it out, there was a ripping sound followed by a disgruntled sigh from the opposite side of the table. Josh wasn’t doing any better. The thin strip of fabric that held his shirt together had finally split and turned it into more of an ill-fitting vest. He rubbed his stomach in disbelief, feeling the solid, furry ball with intrigue. He wasn’t just getting rounder, the former kid was looking more mature by the minute. As grey hairs cracked through his dark beard and littered his thick hair, Avery would have assumed he was in his thirties.

With a final, triumphant gulp, Avery downed the last of his beer and emitted a loud belch, the light spices tingling on his tongue. He tugged down on his shirt, frustrated that it was now bunching up against the curve of his stomach and exposing his lightly furred torso to everyone. At least he wasn’t the only one, he noted, as he looked around the table. Only Gabe managed to avoid the struggle of misfit clothes, but even he was beginning to stretch his once baggy shirt to its limits, the buttons straining to keep it together. Avery had a feeling Gabe had already lost a few buttons but his salt and pepper beard was so widespread and dense, it almost hid the top half of his shirt, along with his massive, meaty pecs entirely from view. His shaggy hair curled down to his shoulders in loose ringlets and mixed with his beard. He was beginning to resemble a mighty lion with his wild mane of hair.

Gabe put his own empty bottle on the table and turned to Josh, who was still nursing his own beer with a surprisingly somber expression. “So how was your first taste of freedom, kid?”

“Kid? Oh, I’m a kid no more,” Josh said with unexpected gravity. His once cracking voice had finally settled to a chesty bass that better suited his maturing looks. “Thanks to this bottle of alcohol, I’m finally a man.” The men stared at him until he cracked into a wide smile that was more typical of the energetic man. “Oh man, I can’t wait to tell my friends! I’m actually drinking proper beer, they’ll be soooo jealous!” Avery cracked a smile of his own at seeing this burly, hairy man in his thirties with a gravelly, foghorn of a voice acting like an immature teenager.

Christian turned to Avery and cocked an eyebrow. He leaned over and said “What, no wise-cracks mister funny man?”

“I told you, I’m over it. I suppose you can say I’ve mellowed with age.” Avery stroked his beard with a new calm.

“Or you’re drunk. You’ve always been a lightweight. Maybe you should call it a day, it’s only going to get tougher from here.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For me to leave so you win the bet.”

“I really would… The apartment won’t clean itself, after all.”

“Well too bad, I’m going all the way even if it kills me! Besides, if you should worry about anything leaving, it’s your hair.”

Christian brought a hand up to his head and brushed his long, red locks with an annoyed look. A worrying amount of hair stuck to his palm, which he brushed aside with a grunt. "Yeah, well it’s nothing compared to your fivehead.”

Avery flinched at the mere suggestion he was losing his hair but sure enough, he put a hand to his head and felt significantly less hair than usual. Avery pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera app with a slight hesitation. Based on the way everyone else was changing, did he want to see how he looked? He sucked up the fear and switched the camera to selfie view. He arched an eyebrow at the sight of his rugged face. His once straight hairline had eroded into a curved line that swooped back in line with his sideburns. But it didn’t look bad, it didn’t even look like his hair was thinning like his furry friend. He had a matured, high hairline that suited his increasingly mature appearance. Especially when combined with his beard which was looking increasingly duller as more and more gray hairs sprinkled throughout. He also noticed how his shirt had split at the seams. He flexed an arm and his eyes widened as the sleeves burst apart, scattering fabric across the table. He spread his chest wide and the buttons popped off, exposing more of his hair-coated brawn. There wasn’t much recognisable of the college student he used to be earlier that day.

Christian leaned over and got into frame to examine his own reflection. He stroked his red beard, lingering on the silvery strands that stained the tips of his bushy mustache and underneath his lip, then swooped his meaty paws through his receding locks, taking a fair chunk of hair off the sides and pushing his hairline further up his scalp until it rested at the top center of his head. He smirked and said, “We’re two fine-looking men, ain’t we?”

“In a manner of speaking…”

Avery was about to put his phone away when Josh suddenly shot up from his seat, his curved stomach and heavy pecs bouncing from the motion. “Are you taking a selfie? Let me get in on that!” He rushed around the table and behind the two men, swooping his arms over each of their shoulders with a big grin, until he looked into the camera and frowned. He leant in closer to get a better look of himself, taking in the streaks of gray in his dark hair and the creases in his furrowed brow. “Weird,” he mumbled, pulling at the skin around his eyes where small crows feet cracked the surface. “Is this a new filter? I look like my dad. You know, if he ever grew a beard. And didn’t dye his hair…”

Avery shook his head. “My phone’s not that good. That’s just how you look.”

As Josh pondered the ramifications, Christian looked over to the lone man sitting opposite them. “Yo Gabe, you want in on this pic?”

Gabe snorted and let out a sharp laugh. “You kidding? I don’t do pictures! I’m far from photogenic, the less pictures there are of me, the better. You enjoy your little photoshoot.”

As Avery took a picture of the three brawny, hairy men, Pippin shook a little bell to get their attention. “I hope you enjoyed that brief break because we’re going further into the workshop. Our next stop will be the reindeer stables where, if you’re lucky, we might catch a glimpse of the magnificent steeds that guide Santa’s sleigh around the world every single year. Without their help, we would never be able to get to every child in a single night!” He walked up to another door - solid wood with a large, opulent handle. Pippin pulled on it, but nothing happened. “I’m too small for such a heavy door,” he said, dropping his head dramatically. “Perhaps one of you stronger gentlemen could give me a hand?”

“I will,” Josh said eagerly, his bushy mustache twitching upward with a smirk. “I’m the biggest one here and I don’t want any of these little guys hurting themselves.” He was joking, certainly, but Avery could hear the immense pride in Josh’s voice at being the largest man in the room. It had to be a new, exciting sensation for him.

Josh confidently pulled on the handle with one hand, expecting it to pop open easily. It didn’t budge. He tried with both hands, but it still wouldn’t move. “I think it’s stuck,” Pippin said. “You’ll have to use more strength.”

“I have more!” Josh boomed, planting both his feet at the base of the door, grunting loudly, then heaving with all his might. Avery was watching the door to see when it moved, but his attention quickly shifted to Josh, who was getting visibly larger. The kid’s back rounded out with muscle as it pumped into him through his bulging veins. His arms got bigger, and bigger, and bigger, biceps rounding out like bowling balls, triceps interlocking with the enormous lats and traps he’d just grown. Clothing rained down around Josh - the rest of his shirt all but exploded, and his pants tore open from thigh to calf, exposing his briefs struggling to hold a much larger butt. His skin was red, and he was pulling so hard on the door that Avery thought he was going to rip the door handle off.

An eerie creak ripped through the air, and the door cracked open - barely, but by then Josh was so worked up that he wedged his hands in the crack and nearly tore the door off its hinges. He stepped to the side, huffing and puffing, and when he turned around, everyone realized his chest had grown exponentially too. It was so bulbous that the pecs hoisted up to his chin with each panting breath, and so prominent that it made the round belly he’d grown earlier look flat in comparison. “What?” he asked, giving his thick chest hair a scratch as he looked at everyone staring at him.

“You…you look like the Hulk,” Gabe gaped.

“Yeah, well, even so, some help would’ve been nice,” Josh laughed, missing or ignoring everyone’s shock at how big he was. “But I got the door open for you guys, so let’s go in.” He had to duck down and twist sideways to get through the frame. Everyone else followed behind as they entered into the reindeer stables. There were separate stalls for every reindeer, each emblazoned with their own name. Avery brushed a hand along a golden plaque with COMET engraved across the middle with a quiet whistle. The mall really got their money’s worth out of whoever designed the whole shindig. The intricate detail in the carved wood pillars was a beauty in and of itself, let alone the rest of the cozy stable. However, there was a noticeable missing piece to the overall picture.

"I’m sorry folks, it looks like you just missed Santa’s reindeer,” Pippin explained. “They’ve been taken out on their daily training flight to keep them up to speed before the big day.”

Josh sighed. “I would have liked to have seen an actual reindeer…” he whined to himself, as if Pippin was actually being truthful and not playing up his elfly duties.

“Well luckily for you, I have a special challenge which should make up for that!” Pippin guided the men to a large clearing just past the stables where a curious contraption sat in waiting.

The men made various noises of questionable enthusiasm, until Christian finally piped up. “What are we looking at?” He asked with a scratch of his head, his rough fingers pawing at his fragile hair and adding to his growing bald spot.

“This, my friend, is a wonderful invention created by yours truly.” Pippin puffed his chest out with pride and a smug smile swept across his already mischievous features. “Flying the sleigh outside of December has gotten troublesome over the years with all the planes and drones and such, and Santa was struggling to keep up his high standards of preparedness. So to compensate, I created this mechanical sleigh for him instead. It moves about just like his actual sleigh so he can hone his balance and keep himself and the presents from falling out.”

“So it’s like a mechanical bull,” Avery said dryly.

“Not entirely! There are also wind, snow, and rain effects to simulate normal and extraordinary weather patterns Santa is likely to encounter on his journey. I even use archive meteorological data to make it as accurate as possible, and prepare Santa for every possibility. I call it the Simu-sleigh-tor!”

Pippin chuckled to himself at the pun, yet none of the other men shared his humor. That is until Gabe chortled under his breath, a hint of a smile cracking through his beard. He immediately covered the momentary joy with a loud cough, forcing his brow to furrow into a sneer.

“So your task is to take the reins and try to withstand a full round in the sleigh. Simple huh? But there’s a twist! You’ll each have a sack of presents in the sleigh with you. You need to keep as many presents in your sack as you can. Whoever has the most presents at the end wins this wonderful prize!”

While Pippin ducked back into the main stable to fetch the presents, Josh was first to step up to the contraption, as always. He paced his way around the sleigh, oohing and aahing at the sleek machine. But the moment he stepped onto the platform, there was a loud creak.

“Better be careful there, Paul Bunyan,” Gabe snidely commented. “Don’t wanna wreck the thing before the rest of us get a chance.”

“You’re probably right,” Josh said with a hint of cockiness. “There’s a chance I could be too big for this ride, my muscles being so massive and all.”

“Nice humble-brag buddy,” Avery called out to the mountainous man.

Josh grinned back at Avery, cupping his hands and flexed his chest, bouncing his hairy mounds with childish glee. He knew he’d become a massive beefcake and he was more than happy to flaunt it. He shook his arms out with a laugh and replied, “It’s true though. I’m not exactly built for tight spaces and this sleigh looks pretty snug…”

“Don’t worry, it’s built to withstand all of the presents and Santa,” Pippin called out from the stable. “You may be big but Santa is bigger. You’ll have to grow a lot more than that to fit into his boots!” He giggled mischievously, a musical titter that floated around the room.

Avery stood up straight, as if he’d been stung. “Hang on, did he just say…”

“Not this again…” Christian sighed and rested a hand on Avery’s shoulder. “ You’re not still hung up on that conspiracy are you?”

“Of course not. I just hadn’t heard Pippin acknowledge we were growing until now. Maybe he knows something we don’t.”

“You really have a one track mind, don’t you?” Christian chuckled and patted Avery heavily on the back. “You should leave that workshop of yours more often or you’ll end up one of those flat earth nutjobs.”

“Shut up…” Avery frowned at the words. Christian made it sound like he lived in solitude when they lived together. So he spent a lot of time locked away working on his projects. It wasn’t like he could stream himself playing games at a coffee shop. He had a flash of memory of being sat at a messy wooden bench. But instead of his dual monitors, rainbow LED keyboard, and microphone set-up, it was covered with various tools, metal, and wood pieces. Paint splatter and wood shavings stained the rough workbench, his hands and fingers even rougher as the calloused digits delicately chipped away at a block of varnished pine. Avery winced at the thought, fumbling with his hands as he came back to his senses. They were the same as ever, tough, weathered, and a patch of hair on every knuckle. But he couldn’t shake the thought that something was off.

Noticing that Avery had gone quiet and self-reflective, Christian turned and reminded him, “If you want to leave, that’s fine. You don’t have to stay.” He nodded his head back toward the door they came through and waggled his eyebrows.

Just like that, the competitive fire burst back to life. “Oh no, I’m not giving up that easily,” Avery growled before poking Christian squarely in the hairy crevice between his pecs.  "I will beat you, furball!“ He turned and stomped over to join Josh by the side of the sleigh, who was examining the contraption and stroking his beard in thought. His boulder-like bicep squashed up against his mountainous pecs and slightly prohibited his reach. Avery looked up into Josh’s bearded face, and remembered that he had to look down on the man only an hour earlier. The thought made his stomach flip. How was this rugged, herculean, older man that same teenager? He shook his head clear, pushing his mind into gaming mode, then pointed to Josh and huskily said "I’m gonna beat you too, big guy.”

Josh grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. It’s only a game, right?” Josh patted the top of the sleigh and smiled. “Actually, it’s a bit like one of those racing game machines you find at old-school arcades. It shouldn’t be too hard for a Twitch streamer like you, right? Though I suppose it’s a little different to that space imposter game you keep playing. You can’t accuse anyone of being kinda sus with one of these beauties.”

“This whole freakin’ situation is kinda sus…”

Josh laughed and swooped a long, sinewy arm around Avery, giving him a comforting squeeze. “Come on, man! You have to stop taking these things so seriously and relax!”

“So I’ve been told…” Avery grumbled and Josh cackled harder. Avery sighed and looked back to Christian. Maybe they had a point. He had been acting pretty immature for a man of his age. Whatever age that was now. His mind told him twenty but his body seemed to tell him double that.

Before long, Pippin reappeared comically dragging a large red sack of presents behind him. Taking pity on the man, Gabe sighed and took the sack off of him and swung it over his shoulders with ease. “Why thank you!“ Pippin squeaked with glee. Gabe grunted in response, his stoic expression a little softer than usual. The two walked up to the sleigh and Gabe chucked the sack inside. A few presents spilled over the side and fell to the sleigh floor. "So Josh, I assume you’d like to go first?” Pippin asked.

“Yes please,” Josh said, immediately jumping up the stairs and swinging himself into the sleigh. He shifted the presents aside and took a hold of the reins with a childish grin. "Hyah!” he cried, shaking them vigorously. His rich, mighty voice rang around the room, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on…uh…Donald and…And the rest of them!”

“Hold onto your sacks, gentlemen,” Christian tittered. Avery elbowed him in the ribs, which caused very little reaction thanks to the new padding in the area. Josh took the joke a little more literally and reached for the present sack, shoving any loose presents back inside and sliding the velvety bag in-between his legs. He gave a thumbs-up to Pippin who stepped into his control booth. With a press of a button, the simu-sleigh-tor sprang to life. It started off slow, swaying from side to side. But it quickly picked up in pace as the sleigh bucked to and fro.

Avery watched analytically as Josh was shaken about in the simulator. He was more than happy to let Josh go first; that way, he could make note of Josh’s errors and correct them on his own run. The random movement of the sleigh meant it could be anyone’s game, but unfortunately for Josh, he was about as nimble as a walrus, struggling to keep a hold of the reins and get a handle on his present sack. As brightly wrapped gifts bounced out of his sleigh and simulated snow obscured his vision, there was a noticeable shift in his demeanour as he buckled down and grit his teeth, taking on a presence not seen in the usually joyful man. Josh was a fearsome sight to behold - authoritative, a towering presence - and yet he was friendly and warm, the kind of person you trusted immediately. He’d kept his childlike sense of glee even as he’d grown so commanding and powerful.

That authoritative presence didn’t last long as a flurry of snow blasted in his face and he broke into a laughing fit. “I suck at this!” Josh bellowed over the sound of the fan simulating strong winds, the mirth in his deep voice reverberating back to the rest of the group.

“Nonsense, you’re doing great up there bud,” Gabe shouted back, and Avery and Christian exchanged looks of surprise. It was such a pleasant response, and Gabe’s tone was the friendliest it had been all day. Apparently Josh’s attitude was somewhat contagious - Gabe looked almost jovial, with ruddy cheeks and bright eyes, though those eyes still darted around with a hint of suspicion.

As the snow turned into torrential rain, Avery stepped closer to Christian. “We should be good at this, right? We’re weather nerds,” he uttered quietly so that their competitors wouldn’t hear.

“Yeah! Although…I’m not sure being weather nerds will help us fly a sleigh through a hurricane.”

“In December? I highly doubt Santa would ever encounter anything like that.”

“Well Pippin did say any extraordinary weather pattern. I’m not saying he’ll put us through a category 5, but we could encounter a tropical storm.”

“I’d be more worried about hail, personally.”

The two shared a laugh before Christian looked to his friend and tugged on Avery’s beard. “You look like Rip Van Winkle.”

“Oh no…” Avery murmured, concerned, but Christian’s smile relaxed him.

“Not in a bad way. Amazing beard, sir. And the grays are looking whiter so they’re all shiny. Kinda like tinsel!”

“That wasn’t the issue…” Avery muttered as he brought a hand up to his neck and encountered the bearded barrier that hid it from view. He pushed his palm against his beard, his fingers struggling to break through the dense forest, until he felt his nails scratch against his solid, square chin. His momentary worry seemed to melt away as his fingers massaged his lantern jawline and brushed through his silvery whiskers. A small smile even managed to break free, his moustache curving upwards along with it. “Like, tinsel, you say?”

Christian nodded his head in approval. “Yeah, I’m a little jealous. It’s a beaut of a beard. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Avery snorted at his comment, and Christian frowned. “What?”

Avery reached over and tugged on the tip of Christian’s very own monster of a beard, remarking “Have you looked in the mirror lately?” He grinned as Christian swatted his hand away and proceeded to comb through the mixture of fire red and winter white hairs that hid the lower half of his face from view.

“Well yeah, I have a spectacular beard,” Christian began to say as he twirled his fingers through his own beard. “But it’s nothing like yours. Yours is so thick and rounded. And that naturally curly 'stache is a wonder.”

Avery couldn’t help but puff out his chest in pride, his half-torn shirt struggling to keep his masculine body under wraps. He had impeccable face fur, the kind of beard he could have only dreamed of growing once upon a time. As he returned to his usual posture, he failed to notice that his pecs weren’t as ready to leave the spotlight. While Avery watched Josh make a final grasp for a loose present before the simu-sleigh-tor juddered to a slow halt, his bulky pecs continued to inflate beyond their limits. The hairy globes jiggled with every shallow breath, forcing themselves forward until they finally stretched his shirt wide enough to pop out with a magnificent bounce. Their sheer size and brawn was too much to handle as the remaining few buttons on Avery’s shirt popped off, exposing his manly body to the elements. Avery placed a hand on his naked torso, feeling the heavy mass and silky hairs that adorned it. He should have been repulsed by the change. He should have been upset over destroying one of his favorite shirts. But in that moment, all he felt was emboldened. He used to be a weakling, an unimpressive sap of a man. Now he was strong and pumping with testosterone. He had changed and he was beginning to feel good about it.

Feeling a little boastful, Avery looked around to judge his competition. He looked back to Josh, who looked a right mess as he climbed out of the sleigh. He was dripping wet, his thick hair sticking to his face and his brawny body looking more defined as his damp body hair clung to every contour of his bulk. Not that he seemed to care as he jumped down with a smile, gratefully accepting a towel from their little elf guide. Avery studied the former teen, who now looked more than old enough to have teenagers himself. He truly was the largest and buffest man in the room. However, his beard wasn’t the best. True, it was a stunning and healthy beard. But it was also the shortest, only a few inches long and immaculately groomed. His cheek line was well maintained, and his neck was completely clean shaven. The sign of a man who took pride in his appearance. Avery pondered how Josh could have found the time, let alone the tools, to sculpt such a masterfully styled beard. Especially considering he was a baby faced teen merely an hour beforehand.

Next, he glanced over to Gabe, who was uncharacteristically congratulating Josh on his attempt before offering to help Pippin collect the presents that scattered across the floor. He had become a top-heavy man and kept losing his balance as he reached for gifts, a small chuckle escaping his mouth whenever he fell down. Beard-wise, he was on the opposite end of the spectrum. A long and messy beard that complemented his equally long and messy hairstyle. It was an impressive feat of growth, veering on Merlin territory. But there had to be a limit to how much hair a single man could have.

Speaking of hair, Avery turned back to Christian whose receding locks appeared to be shifting southwards as fiery red hairs continued to burst free across his rounded body. His beard, however, was a wonder to behold. He was almost jealous of his friend’s striking facial hair. The colors alone could make heads turn. Avery reached up and stroked the back of his palm across the wiry hairs with a smile. “When it comes to facial hair, you’re tough competition to beat. It’s a gorgeous beard. Like…like…freshly fallen snow in an autumn forest.”

“I never clocked you for a poet.”

“Shut up… Besides, it’s a good thing you have such hard beard game now. It balances out the encroaching sparseness up top.”

“Eh, it happens,” Christian said with a shrug of his shoulders, as if his rapid hair loss was a minor inconvenience comparable to missing the bus. The deterioration of his hairline had almost completely swept across his scalp, leaving him with a ring of shoulder length hair better fitting on a founding father. “Besides, what really matters is that I’m a furry beast where it counts,” Christian continued as he swept a hand up and down his ginger-coated body with a smug smile.

“I don’t call you furball for nothing,” Avery replied with a grin.

Their conversation was interrupted by a beastly roar of excitement, and Avery turned in time to see Josh bound up to them with unbridled enthusiasm. “Oh man, that was crazy!”

“It looked pretty intense from back here,” Christian said with a nod. “Those wind and rain effects look brutal!”

“Brutal but fun! I lost a whole bunch of presents though.” Josh’s voice wavered as he vigorously towelled himself off. All eyes were drawn to his taut underwear, his own bulging package bouncing about in its tight confines. “I bet that’s what it feels like to be outside in a hurricane or something.”

Avery scoffed and drew his eyes back up to Josh. “I don’t think it’s going to be THAT bad,” he said.

As it turned out, it was pretty close to being that bad. Avery got off his turn with water dripping from his beard, though his body looked spectacular - the tension from holding onto the reins so tightly had chiseled his muscles and strengthened his core. In fact, as each man went through, their physiques filled out with more brawn. The wind blasting in Gabe’s face also seemed to make his face a little wrinklier, just as Josh had managed to tap into a focus and determination not seen prior - his furrowed brow and set jaw making him look every inch a grown-up. Last and certainly not least, the simulated rain battered Christian’s body and left him looking like a drowned rat. Then the heavy wind slapped him in the face and clutched onto the last of his hair, scattering away in the strong breeze and leaving behind a smooth scalp. The rain seemed to coat his bald head with a waxy sheen that reflected the soft glow of the room.

“I’m tired,” Christian groaned, falling into Avery as he stumbled off, having dropped several presents. “You didn’t lose any, how?!”

“I figured out a way to predict the bounces so I countered it in my steering,” Avery shrugged. “I guess I just found my rhythm.” He put his arm around his friend to support him. “I got you, buddy.”

“These old bones,” Christian said, his head flopping against Avery’s shoulder. “I should do more powerlifting like you.”

Avery wanted to say he didn’t powerlift, but he did remember wearing his old-fashioned singlet at the gym, chest hair pouring out of the top. All the younger guys would gather around him and cheer him on while he deadlifted, and then they’d clap in utter admiration, slap him on the back, ask him for beard-growing tips.

“You should!” Avery boomed, as his body took on more mass and his beard unfurled another inch. “Every man should powerlift. Promotes natural testosterone, and moreover just plain old-fashioned discipline. But you don’t look the least bit weak, pal! So don’t feel self-conscious either.”

“I don’t, just tired,” Christian chuckled.

“Well, perhaps some delicious sweets will pep you up!” Pippin chirped from nearby.

“Sweets!” Josh said excitedly.

“But before you get THAT reward, Avery deserves his!” Pippin produced the prize with a flourish: an elegant maroon umbrella with a curved wooden handle. “Another prize courtesy of Gentlemen’s Emporium, this umbrella is handmade and fit for a truly refined man such as yourself. I’m told it won’t invert, is made from water repellent material, and is wide enough that even a strapping fellow like yourself won’t get wet.” Pippin handed it to Avery as if he were about to knight him with it.

“Wow, and for a salt-of-the-earth fella like me,” Avery chuckled, inspecting the umbrella’s polished handle. “This is beautiful woodwork. Feels like something a guy like Douglas would have, not me! But I’m keeping it.”

There was a slightly awkward silence until Pippin began walking them toward the next area. Christian asked what the others were wondering: “Who’s Douglas?”

“You know, Douglas,” Avery said, motioning to the giant bodybuilder nearby, and then he paused. “Wait…that’s Josh, isn’t it? Why did I…”

“I was wondering,” Josh said softly. “Douglas is my middle name. I used to say that when I grew up and worked in an office like my dad, that I’d go by it. ‘J. Douglas Richardson’ just sounded so professional to me. But I haven’t thought about that in a while…”

“That’s quite a name, J. Douglas Richardson,” Gabe said from next to him. “That’s a corner office name.”

“Yeah, you can see it on a door, can’t you?” Josh laughed. “Or ‘JDR’ monogrammed on a shirt. It feels more grown-up than plain ol’ Josh.”

They looked ridiculous as they made their way to the next room. All were more naked than not now, especially Josh and Avery, who’d both grown such bigger bodies that most clothes wouldn’t fit them now, let alone the ones they’d been wearing.

Pippin hopped up onto a little stool as a wall of TV screens behind him depicted a massive window with snow on the outside. “Now, if there’s one thing we all love about Christmas, it’s the cheer!” he hooted, doing a jig. “Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer, how I love Christmas cheer. And no one spreads Christmas cheer like Santa Claus. Why, his laugh is one of his most famous qualities!”

“Laugh? What about those sweet treats you promised?” Christian questioned with a small rumble from his round belly. “I don’t know if I can handle another challenge like the last one…”

“Not just yet, big guy!” Pippin laughed. “This next challenge should be easy for a man such as yourself.”

There was a loud crack that drew all eyes briefly to Josh. “Sorry,” he blushed, ending his stretch. He tried to cross his arms over his enormous chest, before he realized he no longer could. “I’m really stiff.”

“Was that your spine?” Christian laughed.

“I’m stiff! I’m not as young as I used to be,” Josh rumbled, his deep voice in clear agreement with his statement.

A peal of laughter got everyone’s attention back to Pippin. “Well then, you might like the prize for this contest! A 30 minute massage!” He hopped off his stool - which had been the only way he could stand above the four tall men - and danced over to cubbies that held AR headsets. “If you gentlemen will each select a headset, you’ll see our elves having quite a bit of trouble getting their pre-Christmas checklist complete! The more your laugh is like their big boss’, the less stressed they’ll be - and they’ll even give it a score!”

“We’re supposed to laugh like Santa?” Christian asked as he took a headset, and Pippin nodded.

“I don’t laugh anything like Santa,” Josh said, his speech now firm and confident. “But I’ll try.”

“And some of us don’t laugh at all,” Avery said to Gabe, who looked surprisingly hurt by the joke. As Avery slid the headset on, he remembered that Gabe softened a little during the previous challenge. Turns out the Grinch did have a heart.

The screen over Avery’s eyes flicked on, and he saw animated elves falling all over each other trying to assemble gifts and bake cookies. His perspective was above them - after all, elves were short and Santa was a big guy - so he looked down at the little stinkers and felt himself holding back giggles at all the assorted ways they managed to fall down. It was like watching Looney Tunes or Tom & Jerry, where pratfalls and slapstick were the name of the game. But since he couldn’t see the other guys anymore, he could only guess how they were reacting, aside from the occasional sound. As for himself, though, he pushed his natural laugh deeper in his belly - and he swore the joy filled him so much, it was like his stomach actually got rounder and bigger from it - and he let out a deep, hearty chuckle that got several elves looking up at him with wide elfin grins.

“Heh, I’ve never heard myself sound like that!” He heard Josh say somewhere nearby. “That’s not how I normally laugh…ho ho ho! HO HO HO!” Deep, loud booms rattled off the walls, and Avery felt his competitive spirit rise up. He answered Josh’s impressive display with a “HO HO HO!” of his own, as loud and firm as he could muster, and then he heard Christian and Gabe doing the same. Hearing Christian laughing like Santa made Avery just laugh more, and the effect bounced off all the men, who were now erupting in one loud, boisterous “HO HO HO!” after another, as their cheeks rounded and reddened like Christmas baubles.

The elves on Avery’s screen were so excited by his joy that several of them ran up and hugged his legs, and Avery momentarily forgot he was watching an animation and tried to hug them back. He was almost disappointed when his hand swatted his massive thigh instead of gently pressing into the head of a cute little elf. “HO HO HO!” This time, it came out without him even trying to sound like Santa. Like it was just his natural laugh.

Now with the attention and admiration of all but the most curmudgeon of elves who continued to tinker away at their work, Avery thought he was a shoe-in for a second win. He inhaled a deep breath and prepared to unleash a mighty laugh. That is, until he was interrupted by a monstrous, jovial cackle that seemed to shake the very ground. “HO HO HO! HO HOHOHAHAHAHA!!” Avery deflated, the moment to laugh had passed. His hands scrambled up to his headset to see what the commotion was. He didn’t realise how difficult it was to reach up to his headset in the first place. His biceps bashed into the sides of his pecs, and it took a bit of maneuvering to get around the disruption.

Avery blinked a few times as his eyes readjusted to the room. But his vision didn’t return to normal, there was a slight fuzziness to his surroundings. He rubbed his eyes with a sigh, maybe it was time for a check-up. At least anything close to him was unaffected, he noted, as he could see the silvery strands of his beard in crisp detail as it flowed across his mountainous rack. It was almost like his stomach and his pecs were competing over which could extend further from his body, throwing his center of gravity into disarray. He widened his stance and straightened his back to keep himself steady, managing to push his stomach out even further than ever.

Another earth-shaking laugh shook Avery’s attention back to matters at hand. He looked around to see Christian and Josh had also removed their screens, backs turned to face Gabe. The disheveled man was still wearing his headset, his cheeks red with joy and wet from tears of laughter. “HOOHOOHOHAHEHAHOO!!” His deep, mighty laugh had crossed from a wholesome Santa expy and into mad hatter territory. His whole body was shaking from the the crazed laughter. Josh, being the biggest and strongest of the lot, sprung into action and cautiously wrapped his arms around Gabe’s torso. Christian followed suit, doing his best to keep Gabe from struggling against their attempts to free him. He calmed down long enough for Avery to rip the headset off of Gabe’s head, the man collapsing into Josh and sending the two to the floor with a thud.

“Hey, buddy, hey. It’s OK, there’s no more elves,” Josh said as he cradled Gabe’s quivering body as he took several deep breaths.

Christian and Avery stepped back to give them some room, both disturbed by the situation. It was almost like Gabe had overdosed on Christmas cheer. Perhaps the former grump was struggling to adapt to his new cheerful persona. Pippin appeared unaffected by the ordeal as he jumped off of his stool and cried “I believe we have a winner!” as he pointed up to a screen showing the results of the round. Christian, Josh, and Avery were all within a few points of each other, but none of them came close to the laughing man himself. “Gabe, your wonderous laugh managed to garner the attention of all the little elves and even your fellow competitors! You definitely deserve this treat.” Pippin held out the spa certificate, and Gabe wearily took it off of him.

“Thanks…” He mumbled before clamouring back to his feet with a little wobble, a support beam ominously creaking as he leaned against it for support.

Josh slipped an arm around Gabe’s back and guided him to the benches that lined one side of the room. “You feeling OK, man?”

Gabe nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah… I just need a break…” He shook off Josh’s caring touch before dropping down onto a bench, the wood crunching underneath his mass. He took several deep breaths before looking at his gift certificate curiously. “Hey elf man,” he called out to Pippin. “I can use this thing whenever I want, right?”

“Of course! Harmony Spa is open during normal mall business hours and accepts our gift certificate for both appointments and walk-ins.”

Gabe nodded, a little lost in thought. He instinctively combed his fingers through his long, wizard-like beard, his leg bouncing anxiously. Finally, he pulled himself back to his feet with a guttoral grunt. “In that case, I’m going to get a massage right now.”

The other men muttered in surprise. Not-So-Grumpy Gabe was giving up the challenge? After everything they’d been through? Even Pippin was taken about, losing his whimsical smile for a brief moment. “Are you sure you want to leave now?” he asked Gabe. “We’re about to head into a very tasty challenge, and I’d hate for you to miss out on the treats!”

Gabe sighed and shook his head, his salt and pepper locks bouncing from the motion. “Thanks but I think I’ve had my fill of treats for today. Besides, I’m trying to watch my weight. I feel like I’ve put on a few pounds…” He patted the slight curve of his hardened stomach, the result of all his hard work throughout the experience.

“Well, if you really feel that way… Let me lead you back to the entrance.”

The men waved off Gabe as he followed Pippin through a fire door disguised as an elf break room. If anyone noticed the sparkles that surrounded Gabe as the door closed behind him, a soft shimmer that rested on his ragged clothing and started to mend the tears they had endured, nobody appeared to react to the peculiar effect. As the door shut, Christian turned around with a sigh. “It’s a shame that Gabe had to leave just as he was getting into the Christmas vibes,” he said with a tug of his dense beard.

“Yeah…” Josh agreed before he draped an arm over each of his fellow men. “I guess that leaves you, me, and Alder.”

Christian and Avery shared a look before Avery grumbled, “That’s not my name…”

“Well yeah, I know that! I was referencing your Twitch username. AlderaanAntics? Alder? I thought it was clever…”

Avery frowned as Christian burst with a loud cackle. “I like it! You do look more like a Alder than an Avery.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Avery’s like a preppy, snotty brat of a name. Alder’s strong, masculine, a tough name for a tough fella.”

“Avery can be masculine…” Avery growled as he turned his back on the laughing duo. But the more he thought about it, the better it sounded in his head. Alder was a perfect name for the grounded, rustic man he had become. It felt like a name that had to be earned, and he was more than deserving of it.

Before Avery could admit that maybe he had outgrown his own name, Pippin popped back into the room and cried “Thank you for waiting, folks! While it is a shame to lose another participant, we must press onto the next round!”

“So where are you taking us now, Pippin?” Josh bellowed, matching the tiny elf in sheer enthusiasm.

“If there’s one thing Santa looks forward to every year, aside from spreading joy and happiness to children worldwide that is, it would be the treats that are generously left for him at every house. Delivering gifts all around the world is hungry work, after all! And nobody understands that better than dear Mrs Claus, who loves to create treats of all types.”

Already sensing what was coming up, Christian eagerly led the pack of men through the short passage that led up to Mrs Claus’ kitchen, the enticing aroma of vanilla and gingerbread tickling at their noses. Pippin stepped aside after opening the door, and Christian barged into the kitschy room with determination. “Holy moley…” he uttered in awe as the others squeezed their way past Christian, who was too distracted by the glorious sight to move. But there was no denying the awe-inspiring sight of dozens of Christmas cookies piled high everywhere you looked.

“I’m afraid Mrs Claus may have gone a little overboard this year!” Pippin declared as the three men salivated at the sweet sight. Christian wiped away some drool before reaching out for a nearby plate. Before he could grab it, Avery slapped his hand away and nodded to the little elf who was still giving his spiel. Christian shot a dirty look at him, but kept his hands rested on his round belly, impatiently tapping his fingers against the hard bulk. Pippin smiled and continued. “Yes, our friends at Angels Delight introduced Mrs Claus to their famous cookies and she couldn’t help but try and replicate their soft, delicate treats!”

“Angels Delight…” Avery repeated to himself. It sounded familiar. “Isn’t that the place with the life-sized gingerbread house?”

“Oh yeah!” Christian grinned and nudged Josh. “Ave and I grabbed a cookie from there before we came here. It was so good, I was thinking of getting another after we left.”

“Well now you have all the cookies you can eat!” Avery laughed before turning to Pippin. “We are eating these, right? It’s not some lousy challenge where we have to, I dunno, stack the cookies or feed the elves or something?”

“Oh no, we wouldn’t want Mrs Claus’ cookies to go to waste! Us elves have tiny appetites, we can’t eat them all ourselves. That’s why we’re so glad to have such big men with hearty appetites to help us out! Not to mention all the milk and hot cocoa you require to wash it down with.” Christian’s stomach rumbled at the thought of unlimited milk and cookies, and he stared longingly at the plates surrounding them. “Well what are you waiting for?” Pippin asked. “Everyone dig in!”

Christian wasted no time, grabbing the nearest plate piled with cookies and stuffing a gingerbread elf in his mouth. He scooped up a mug of hot cocoa, along with a second plate, and collapsed into an armchair with a satisfied groan. Avery and Josh grabbed a plate each and pulled up a seat at the oak dining table themselves, a look of joy on all their faces.

Avery picked up and chomped down on a candy cane shaped cookie. It was as sweet and delicately spiced as the cookie from the gingerbread house, and somehow even more addicting. It wasn’t long before he was reaching for another cookie and a full glass of milk. He patted his stomach in satisfaction, feeling it grumble in agreement. As his fingers rubbed the hairy mass, it almost felt like it grew a little bigger underneath his fingertips. But it didn’t phase him as he popped a small star cookie into his mouth with a grin.

“Oh man,” Christian mumbled through bites of cookies. “We paid seven bucks for that single cookie and now we’re getting a whole bunch of them for nothing! I can’t believe they’re just giving them away!” He gulped down a mouthful and his belly shook a little, spreading outwards a little further over his waistband. He dug a hand underneath the bulk and fiddled with his jeans. After unbuckling his belt and undoing the top button, he sighed contently as another wave of bulk added a further inch to his waistline.

“It won’t be free for everyone of course,” Josh said matter-of-factly. “Once we’re done testing things and ensuring things go smoothly, the North Pole Experience will officially open to everyone. It’s only going to cost… How much is it, Pippin?”

He turned around to the elf who was pouring another mug of hot cocoa for Christian. “$20 for adults, $15 for kids, and $50 for a family ticket, sir. Excellent value for what we offer, and it should help to boost overall mall attendance wonderfully!”

Josh grunted in agreement and delicately nibbled on a cookie. As the sugary notes hit his tongue, he suddenly pulled a sour expression. “What’s up,” Avery asked with concern. It was strange to see the peppy man look so disgruntled. “You don’t like the cookies?”

“They’re a little sweet for my liking,” Josh replied. “Besides, I’m trying to cut sugar out of my diet. It doesn’t do you any good at our age.”

“But one little cookie isn’t going to ruin your day, is it?” Avery crunched down on a cookie. His belly jiggled outwards in response. “Mrs Claus made these especially for us, we don’t want to offend her.”

“And they’re free!” Christian cheered, a blast of cookie crumbs trickling down his beard. His stomach looked particularly merry as the rounded cauldron spread further down his lap, pushing his heavier pecs further up towards his chin, and pressing up against the table.

“Right, right…” Josh grabbed a glass of milk. “You fellas indulge yourselves, I think I’ll stick to the milk for now.”

“There’s still some fat in milk…” Christian pointed out, but Josh was already chugging the glass so heartily that two streams of liquid were dribbling down the corners of his mouth. His enormous biceps twitched and trembled, swelling slightly in mass as he tipped his beverage further back and licked the rim clean. Then he set the empty glass down on the table and flexed for himself, fondling his pecs, which had grown another layer of size and looked bigger than ever. Even with that distraction, he couldn’t help but look longingly at the cookies his companions were devouring. Though Josh’s face had lost its boyishness, his big blue eyes were still hard to miss.

“Mrs. Claus always makes a special batch in case Santa’s on a diet that year,” Pippin smiled, pointing to a plate of unfrosted cookies. “Oatmeal raisin, gluten free, no sugar added, and still delicious. Try one!”

“Now you’re speaking my language,” Josh smiled, nibbling on one of the treats. “Santa preparing for a physique show?” he chuckled, bringing attention to the brick-like muscles composing his abdomen. Josh’s metamorphosis into a bearded heavyweight bodybuilder had happened so smoothly that it almost felt natural. But when Christian and Avery paused their cookie indulgence to look at him - really look at him - they couldn’t believe that the walking fortress of hairy muscle was the same antsy boy from the start of the experience. He was astonishing to behold. And he was handsome, to boot. With his square jaw, straight nose, thick hair, and entrancing sapphire eyes, Josh had the bearing of a politician from a Hollywood movie: unrealistically beautiful and undeniably authoritative.

A popping noise and a moan moved focus to Christian, whose belly was now a larger version of his pecs: thick and perfectly rounded, sticking so far out that it caught some crumbs as Christian crushed cookie after cookie. The button of his pants had burst off, and his fly was struggling to hold the growing shape underneath it. The sight got Avery and Josh pawing at their own crotches, and realizing how much bigger they felt. The pride of suddenly being well-hung puffed up all three men; the slabs of muscle composing Josh swelled bigger, while Avery’s chest and shoulders broadened into prominence, and Christian got rounder than ever.

After Christian let out a resounding belch, Pippin clapped his hands together and declared “Thank you for your assistance in the kitchen, men! However, we really should be moving onto our next challenge.”

“Aw,” Christian pouted. “I could have put back at least a dozen more…”

“You’ll eat these elves out of house and home if you’re not careful,” Avery playfully chided. But he understood how Christian felt. The soft armchairs and buttery cookies were difficult to abandon. But you could have too much of a good thing, he duly noted as he stroked the surface of his hairy belly. It was firm to the touch, as if expertly formed from decades of hard work and dedication despite having inflated around his midsection over the last ten minutes.

“I don’t know about you guys but all I can think of now is a fine Cuban cigar,” Christian sighed as he patted his jean pocket where the rectangular bulge of the cigars he previously won was still intact.

Avery almost questioned his friend’s sudden interest in fine tobacco, until he recalled spending many an evening together with the bear in the forest, hours spent chatting with a cigar and a glass of whiskey, surrounded by towering trees and the ambient sound of nature. Avery tried to cling to the moment, wishing he could bring it to life, before it faded back into his memories.

As Avery came back to reality, he heard Pippin say “Unfortunately, we have a strict non-smoking policy in the North Pole.” Christian and Avery both slumped their shoulders in disappointment.

With a heavy sigh, Avery reluctantly pushed himself out of his seat and wobbled slightly, unused to having such a heavy load centred in front of him. He looked back to see Christian struggling to even get out of his seat. Josh was quick to lend him a hand, and Avery noticed that even the buff man had a noticeable curve to his stomach, his deep-cut abs prominently rested on the surface like a tortoise shell, giving him a formidable appearance.

Pippin led the men out of the kitchen and down a wide hallway lined with caricatures of elves under a bright banner that declared them employees of the month. Despite the cartoonish nature, it was hard to miss that their sprightly young elf guide had claimed that month’s position. Pippin almost seemed to point it out before stopping in front of a pair of stained glass doors. “I hope that wonderful treat has given you a burst of energy,” he declared with vigor “you’ll certainly need it in our next show stopping challenge!”

Everyone uttered a collective gasp as they entered into a large room designed to look like the outdoors. Snow-capped trees and distant mountains were painted onto the walls while a starry night sky decorated the ceiling. The room was noticeably colder as the low hum of air conditioning mixed with the hidden machine that pumped gentle foam bubble 'snowflakes’ throughout the room. Even with their added bulk and built-in fur coats, the men felt a shiver go up their spines. Christian kept pawing at his head, unused to feeling a breeze across his bare scalp. Josh bounced in place, partially in excitement and partially from his lack of clothing.

However, the real eye-opener was what took up a majority of the floor space; a large inflatable obstacle course that wrapped around the outside of the entire room. It was as if they’d stepped onto the set of a crazy game show. All that was missing was the cheering audience. The course had a variety of challenges, from inflatable tunnels and bouncy barriers, swinging ropes and balance boards over ball pits, all culminating in a showstopping two-story slide into a pool of foam. It was the ultimate in adrenaline fueled fun, even Avery managed to crack a smile at the sight of it, if mostly hidden underneath his bushy mustache. But as usual, nobody was as enthusiastic as Josh, who gazed starry-eyed at the inflatable set-up and squealed as best as he could, given his ultra-bass voice. “Oh my godddd, I can’t even right now!”

For once, Avery was speechless, unable to come up with a snarky response. He whistled slowly in appreciation. “They really went all out for this thing. Must have cost a pretty penny!”

“You don’t know the half of it!” Christian gawked in equal appreciation. “It was custom designed for the mall and shipped over from Montreal.”

“How do you know that?”

Christian shrugged his shoulders. “Guess I heard it on the grapevine. Personally, I’m not a fan of these inflatables,” he said a little wearily. “You’d think they’d use something more sturdy than bouncy castles, what if they burst…” He rubbed at his oversized stomach with a little apprehension, keenly aware of how much heavier he had become, how much bigger they’d all become.

Sensing the man’s worry, Avery tried to sling a comforting arm over Christian’s shoulder, but thanks to his broader frame, he couldn’t even get his palm past the big man’s thick neck. Instead, he lowered his arm and patted his back. He joked “Well you’re about Santa’s size now. If he can make it through this thing, then surely we’ll be fine!”

Christian sighed. “I dunno, it looks closer to elf-sized to me…”

“You have nothing to worry about,” Pippin piped up in an attempt to focus everyone’s attention. “Santa may be the jolly, fat man everyone loves but that doesn’t mean he’s lazy! You’d never guess he was exceptionally strong and agile underneath his infamous belly. So he created this training course to ensure he keeps sharp! We’ll give you each an opportunity to race through the course, maybe you’ll even beat Santa’s own record!”

“Hang on,” Christian spoke up. “You expect us to go through that after all those milk and cookies? I feel queasy just thinking about it…”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have pigged out then!” Avery cawed with a whack of Christian’s belly, which swayed from side to side from the impact.

“It was all you care to eat!” Christian grunted, grabbing a hold of his stomach and rubbing it softly. “All I care for now is a nap… We don’t really have to do this, right?”

“As always, you’re free to leave at any point,” Pippin reminded the men. “It would be a shame if you quit so close to the end. There’s a very special reward for whoever finishes first. I’m sure a man of your stature would hate to miss out!”

Christian stared at the obstacle course, fingers twitching through his fiery beard, before sighing. “Sorry guys, I think you’ve got me beat! I’ve had enough of these challenges…”

Avery turned to his friend, a little disappointed. “Come on, you can’t quit now! What about our bet?”

“You know I only made that thing to stop you from bailing out too early,” Christian said with a pat on Avery’s back before heaving a sigh. “But I’m so tired, my back aches, my feet hurt, and I had far too many cookies to even think of bouncing through some assault course…”

Pippin tutted. “I’m sorry but if you can’t do the task, I have to disqualify you. Let me show you the way back to the entrance.”

“Oh no!” Christian shook his head frantically, causing his whole body to jiggle from the motion. “I’m not taking part but I want to stay and watch. I can’t miss the chance to see these guys making fools of themselves!”

“It’s a little unorthodox…”

“C'mon, there’s even a bench right over there! I won’t interfere or nothing.”

Pippin fumbled with his hands, looking a little lost at what to do. “Well, I suppose you can stay… But let me get you a consolation prize for making it this far into the experience without giving up!”

“Aw shucks, you don’t have to do that,” Christian mumbled with a mix of embarrassment and appreciation as Pippin jogged over to a nearby rack and jogged back with a large knitted beanie hat in his hands.

“Nonsense!” Pippin replied as he presented the handsome beanie to the furry man. “However, by accepting this prize, you also acknowledge and accept that you won’t be allowed to participate in the rest of the experience.”

“It’s a little bureaucratic, but I accept!” Christian stuck out his big mitt and shook the elf’s dainty hand with a grin before grabbing the hat and shoving it atop his naked scalp. “That should keep my noggin warm in the winter!”

“It suits you,” Avery said with a smile. “Almost like you have a full head of hair again.”

As Christian adjusted the knitted hat, he felt an odd tingle run down his spine and up his arms. He shook the numbness away and gave a thumbs up to Avery before retreating to the bench.

Avery strolled over to join Josh at the start of the course, both of them performing some warm-up stretches to prepare for what laid ahead. Pippin walked over and announced, “Since you are the final players left, it would be great for you to race each other rather than play it solo.”

“That’s cool, a final showdown!”

“I’m down with that.” Avery turned to Josh, smirking with competitive spirit, and growled “Get ready to lose, big man!”

“I don’t know about that,” Josh replied, a sly determination on his face. “I’ve seen tons of Ninja Challenge and Wipeout, I think I’m prepared!”

“You’re prepared to go down, you mean!” Avery shot back, eying the man up and down. Josh had gotten so tall and broad shouldered, and the obstacle course wasn’t made for someone his size regardless of what Pippin said. Those crawl spaces and low ceilings could put him at a disadvantage. Not that Avery fared much better. He wasn’t as rotund as Christian, but he had still gained a significant lifter’s belly that jutted out proudly from his waist. His hefty size made it difficult to be agile in such a tight environment. It was anyone’s game at this point.

There was a moment of silence before Pippin sounded a horn and both took off, the powerful muscles in their legs launching them forward at breakneck speed. Josh gained an early lead, effortlessly leaping across the bouncy floor and over the first inflatable hurdles. But that momentum didn’t last as he came to a halt in front of a pair of tunnels decked out to resemble igloos. He crouched down to crawl inside but his enormous shoulders and tall frame simply would not fit inside. Avery smirked as his competitor tried to find a way to contort his body and dropped to his knees, immediately wishing he hadn’t dove quite so quickly. He pushed himself into the tunnel and shuffled inside. It wasn’t until he was halfway when he discovered that his torso was far too thick to get any further, his solid belly getting stuck in the entrance. Josh couldn’t help but laugh as Avery’s legs jiggled about in a failed attempt to free himself, looking much like a bear trapped in a honey tree. He leaned a shoulder against the man’s ass and pushed to no avail. He sighed and patted his behind. “Sorry Pooh, but I have my own tunnel to get through…” He ducked down and attempted the crawl again. He tried three different ways before asking, “Do we really have to get through these?”

“There’s no other way around, sir!“ Pippin called back.

"What did I say, it’s made for kids!” Christian cawed from his stoop, hooting with laughter as Avery groaned from within his rubber confines.

“Dang…” Josh finally managed to tuck his shoulders forward enough to fit into the tunnel and pulled himself through the crawl space slowly by his elbows, the sounds of irritated rubber squeaking out through the big room.

Avery gasped as he sucked his stomach in as much as he could, then stretched his arms out in an attempt to reach the other side. The veins on his arms pulsed and his bones cracked as his arms lengthened until finally, his stubby fingers gripped the outside of the tunnel. He gritted his teeth as he pulled himself through the rest of the tunnel, his torso stretching like taffy. With a small pop, Avery managed to free himself from the igloo and fell forwards in a somersault. He dusted himself off, and allowed himself to exhale in relief, his stomach billowing outwards to its former glory. He rotated his shoulders to work out the kinks and turned to see Josh was still slowly shuffling through the tunnel. Avery smirked. Now was his chance to get the lead!

He needed every second he could as his bulky body was just so damn big. His powerlifter physique wasn’t made for quick maneuvering. He flailed his way through rows of inflatable Christmas trees that rebounded against him like Bozo the clown dolls, preventing him from gaining much speed. The wobbling penguins weren’t any better, bashing and bouncing him into the sides of the inflatable course. By the time Avery had reached the rope swing across a doom-filled chasm, really a small padded pit, Josh was hot on his tail.

Josh may have been big, bigger than even Avery, but he had brute strength on his side. The bouncy pillars were no match for Josh’s brawn as he cleared a path through the forest of trees and penguins without breaking a sweat. Each swing of the first and kick of the leg sent a ripple of muscle down his limbs, pumping his body up to almost impossible proportions. Avery dared to glance back after successfully swinging across the chasm and gulped as Josh sprinted and jumped over the gap like it was a pavement crack. So much for his lead…

It was at the ice pond where things went wrong for Avery. He leapt onto a rubbery iceberg shaped platform and almost slipped straight into the ball pit below. The platform wobbled beneath his feet, and it took all his effort to keep himself steady. He widened his stance and tried to counteract the shaking, his thighs and calves swelling in size as he clenched tight. He could see Josh in his peripheral vision as he jumped onto a nearby platform. He couldn’t stay stuck on ice and let the big man win! Avery shuffled forward on the board, which began to tilt downwards, and threw himself towards the next icy platform. But he misjudged the jump, his lifter’s belly betraying him as it tipped the next platform too far forwards and he tumbled into the ball pit below. Avey popped up immediately, the balls only came up to his waist, and watched as Josh effortlessly jumped from iceberg to iceberg, reaching the final section of the course.

Avery waded through the ball pit and clamoured onto the furthest platform, growling as he watched Josh grapple up the rope net to victory. He couldn’t come this close only to lose! With one final adrenaline boost, Avery rushed down the path and leapt onto the net, immediately crawling upwards. Every yank brought him closer to the top, every pump added more mass to his body. Josh reached the top first, twisting his body round to face the slide. He looked back at Avery with a wide grin and pushed himself down. With a final bellow, Avery reached the top and threw himself over the edge, hitting the rubbery surface and slipping down the slide. Josh was mere inches away, bellowing himself as they wooshed down the slide with great speed. The two men were swallowed up by the foam pool, creating a tidal wave of bubbles that crashed over the sides of their rubber container.

Avery crawled over to the edge, gripping the side and flopping half his body over, panting. Maybe Christian was right not to do the course, he thought to himself as he rubbed his aching body. Josh popped out of the sea of bubbles and crawled to the edge himself. “Phew, that was more intense than I expected it to be!” he sighed while stretching his lower back. He looked at Avery and snorted. “Hey, you got a little something right there…” He gestured to Avery’s entirety as the foam seemed to cling to every hair follicle on his body. His hair and his beard, his chest and shoulder hair, even his eyebrows were coated.

“So do you,” Avery chortled as Josh examined his own sud enveloped body. The two men shared a laugh together, their bass chuckles echoing around the room.

“Well done! The both of you were spectacular!” Pippin cried, offering a helpful hand to the clumsy giants as they stumbled out of the foam pool and handing each of them a towel. As they wiped their bodies clear, the bubbles were more persistent than expected, stubbornly seeping into each hair follicle and draining them of their color. As Josh wiped away the remaining residue on his face, he brought the towel down to reveal his dark facial hair had been bleached to a brilliant white that shimmered under the painted night sky. The more foam he wiped off of his body, the more of that shining white hair was revealed underneath.

Avery went through the same process as the foam had dyed his bountiful body hair a snowy white, almost resembling a polar bear of sorts. His wild beard was like a cloud rested on his rugged cheeks, while his eyebrows had grown just as bushy. As he rubbed the towel over his head, doing his best to remove any stray bubbles, his hairline deteriorated further up his scalp until he had a pronounced widow’s peak that swooped back behind the edge of his ears. If he noticed the extra forehead space, he didn’t let on as he chucked the towel aside and asked “So who won?”

Pippin beamed as he announced the good news. “You were both so spectacular that you actually finished the course at the same time!”

“So nobody won?” Avery huffed with a sigh.

“We don’t have to race again, do we?” Josh asked.

“Of course not! It was so close that it would be cruel of me to have to choose. Instead, you’re both winners of our exclusive reward!”

The two men cheered and high fived each other, eager to discover what they had won. Avery jogged over to Christian, who had fallen asleep on the bench, and woke him up. “C'mon furball, you can nap on your own time.” Avery helped Christian to his feet, a small feat considering how heavy his friend had gotten. “There we are,” Avery mumbled with a smile. “Nice sweater, by the way. Did Pippin give it to you as well?”

“Huh?” Christian looked down at the fashionable Nordic sweater that contained his cauldron of a belly. Snowflakes and bold patterns adorned the royal red sweater, the straight, geometric lines distorted into rounded curves as they crossed over his extended stomach. He placed a hand on the soft fabric and grunted. “I’ve been wearing this all day, haven’t you noticed?”

“You sure about that, bud?”

“Yes!” Christian paused for a moment. “I think so?”

Pippin cleared his throat to win back the group’s attention. “Your feats of athleticism have earned you both three month memberships to Champ’s Boxing Gym, where you can hone your quickness and strength under the watchful eye of expert instructors!”

“We’ll have to face off sometime!” Avery said to Josh with a competitive grin.

“Now, if you gentlemen will all follow me, I have one last task for you!” Pippin opened a wooden door and led the three hulks into a beautiful room. It was similar to the first one they’d seen - with a crackling fireplace that made the whole place smell of embers and cinnamon - but grander and more detailed, including a wooden vanity and windows showing snow blowing “outside.”

“Welcome to Santa’s dressing chambers, his final stop before he leaves for his annual duties!” Pippin cheered, spinning in a circle with his hands outstretched. “You made it!”

“That’s not real, is it,” Josh rumbled as he looked down at a straight blade on the vanity, next to a shaving bowl. “I don’t want any little ones cutting themselves.”

“No, sir, quite fake,” Pippin said, running his finger over the blade to show that it was rubber. “The brush, however, is authentic - Santa would never go out without his beard groomed. See?” Pippin stretched his arm up and ran the brush over the whiskers on Josh’s sculpted cheek.

“Well, that’s very nice,” Josh smiled, leaning into the brushstrokes like a cat being pet. “And a bit flirtatious, elf.” He wrapped his enormous hand around Pippin’s wrist and lowered it down. “Now, tell us about what we do here.”

“Well, sir,” Pippin said, a slight blush rising to his cheeks, “if you’ll recall, you started off by trying on Santa’s suit. It’s time to put it back on and see if you’re worthy of the big man’s mantle now.”

“I don’t quite see the point. If it didn’t fit earlier, why would it fit now? I’m…” Josh trailed off and stared at his hands. He wriggled his fingers, eyes tracing the thick veins that twisted around his massive forearms, then looked down at his bulging abdomen and past it, at the massive sphere that filled his underwear to the brink. “…just a kid,” he whispered. His aged face filled with concern. Avery’s first instinct was to go comfort him.

“I think you’ll find it looks quite good on you, sir,” Pippin said gently, his cheery voice soft and warm. He opened a large wooden chest on the floor and produced a folded pile of clothes so bulky they were as tall as his torso, tied together with beautiful gold ribbon and a tag that Josh flipped around to inspect.

“JDR,” Josh read aloud. “This is for me?”

“Yes, sir.”

Josh untied the ribbon and picked up the top layer, which unfolded into a pair of very long red trousers. The room was quiet, except for the crackle of the fire and Josh’s heavy breathing as he began to dress himself. Every now and then, he’d look at Avery and Christian, who would smile reassuringly.

Josh slid on the pants, supporting himself at one point by leaning on Pippin’s shoulder, which nearly crushed the poor elf. Then he picked up the jacket, which seemed so comically large it’d be better suited as a duvet, and yet as Josh slid it on, it ended up quite snug on him. He left the jacket open for a moment, his bowling ball pecs bulging out, until he cinched the garment closed with a giant black leather belt. Pippin supported Josh again - barely - as he slid his feet into the big black boots, which made heavy clomps as Josh straightened his clothes. The Santa suit was impressive already - clearly expensive, made from fine cherry-red velvet and exquisite white fur - but something was missing.

“Is that all?” Josh asked.

“No, sir,” Pippin smiled, reaching into the chest to retrieve another large pile of red velvet. With a flourish that Josh seemed to anticipate, the elf swirled it over Josh’s huge shoulders, allowing the big man to slide his hands into the sleeves. The long robe covered his back, and when unfolded revealed exquisite gold detailing among the white fur trim, and big bell sleeves that hung regally as Josh stretched his hands out and allowed Pippin to put white gloves on them. Josh raised one of those hands up to his face, inspecting the perfect twirls of his handlebar mustache.

Behind him, Pippin was jumping. “What on earth are you doing?” Josh asked as he turned around, his robe swirling with such beauty that both Avery and Christian gasped.

“Well…I was going to surprise you with your hat…” Pippin said sheepishly, “but I can’t reach.”

“I can handle that,” Josh said kindly, taking the hat from Pippin and running his fingers over the gold embroidery mixed in with the white trim. “What a beauty,” he said, then he carefully set the hat on his head and sleek white hair.

“Do I look good?” Josh asked, turning around to his companions.

Avery and Christian stared in wonder. They couldn’t speak, even as Josh smiled at them, his blue eyes sparkling with grandfatherly mischief. It was like they were in the presence of Santa himself, a man of supernatural bearing. He was every trusted mentor, every grandparent, every authority figure rolled into one spectacular demigod.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Josh smiled, the satisfied nod of his head making the puff on his hat wobble. He strode over to a full length mirror and admired himself for several moments, standing tall and hooking his thumbs on his belt. Then he turned and looked at Avery. “I want to see how you look in yours,” he said, bass voice dripping with confidence.

The command shook Avery from his admiration and reignited his competitive streak. The Santa before him was so glorious, he was nearly impossible to behold, like an angel descending from heaven. But Avery was Santa too. Every man had Santa deep within him, waiting to emerge if they were patient. The others hadn’t quite gotten there yet - they would, someday - but Avery had, just like Josh.

Pippin was already waiting with Avery’s suit, and as soon as Avery ran his hands over the fur trim, he felt every hair on his body shiver with excitement. And there were a lot of hairs.

As Avery unfolded his pants, Josh clomped over and slung his arm around Christian. “I’m sorry you don’t get a suit yet, buddy,” he rumbled. “I’d like to see you in one.”

“Someday,” Christian replied, still staring at Avery.

Avery was shimmying on the pants, feeling the soft fabric hug against his massive hamstrings, his giant ass filling out every inch of the tailoring. The waist of the trousers hoisted his belly higher, and he moaned excitedly as Pippin helped him slide on a pair of leather suspenders that Josh hadn’t needed thanks to his flatter stomach. Avery had a bit more jiggle to his physique, and he liked it that way, he thought as he shrugged on his jacket and pulled it shut over his chest and belly, which took considerable strain. When his belt shut, the gold buckle sinking into the plush white fur, the look began coming together in Avery’s mind. He didn’t envy Josh anymore. He was Josh’s equal, even if the extra two inches from his big boots still didn’t quite get him to Josh’s height.

This revelation was driven home by Josh approaching to help him finish up. But before Josh could assist, Pippin put Avery’s robe on him, with the same flourish as before. The weight of it - the feeling of pure opulence on his shoulders - made Avery groan loudly and deeply, nearly cumming in his underwear.

 Josh placed a gloved hand on Avery’s cheek and looked into his eyes. “I know,” he smiled. Avery smiled back.

Josh took the white gloves from Pippin and slid them onto Avery’s grizzled hands. “You work with your hands, I can tell,” Josh said. He turned to Pippin. “Hat.”

“Yes, sir,” Pippin said, handing the final accessory to Josh.

“Welcome to the club, Santa,” Josh smiled, and he placed the hat on Avery’s head, right over his eroded hairline.

“I’m Santa,” Avery said, a realization as much as a statement. He stared Josh right in the eyes, and noticed Josh’s mustache was broadening, the twirled ends widening as large as silver dollars. When Josh’s cheeks and the tip of his nose turned rosy red, Avery felt a flush fill his own face, and realized the same sensation was occurring with him - the final details… “His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry…” Avery murmured. “I remember that poem.”

“My grandmother would read it to me when I was a boy. I remember being cuddled up on her lap in her rocking chair,” Josh smiled. “I was so small then…”

“You have dimples now!” Avery gasped. “Do I have dimples?”

“Of course you do!”

A loud, boisterous laugh - “HO HO HO” - erupted out of Avery before he even realized it was him making the sound. His belly shook, and when Josh noticed, he laughed too, quite similarly. They fell into each other in a big hearty hug, hands slapping on backs and heads resting on shoulders as warmth flooded every inch of them.

Once they released each other, Avery strode over to the mirror and admired himself as Josh had. He had the same supernatural presence, and it filled him with such pride that he swore he saw himself get a tiny bit bigger. Josh walked up to him and stretched his arm around Avery, and the two massive men stared at themselves.

“You look good, Santa.”

“Thanks, Santa.”

“I’m trying to…contain myself,” Josh whispered, “but I’m having trouble.”

“I am too,” Avery admitted, the layers of velvet and fur hiding his tumescence. He rested his hand on Josh’s chest, which strained visibly against his jacket and robe. “You should be proud of the man you’ve become.”

Josh groaned and leaned against Avery, thrusting against him. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna…”

“It’s okay, buddy, I will too,” Avery said. He heard Josh’s moans spike, and felt the man’s fingers claw against his back, thrusts speeding then slowing. Avery released, his knees buckling as his weight fell against Josh, who easily supported him. The men stayed clutched together, complete. Resting.

Finally, Avery broke the embrace and stroked Josh’s beard. “Maybe it’s just a bunch of snow down there instead of a mess,” he joked, and Josh’s booming Santa laugh was music to his ears.

After a brief check that they were both presentable - despite all the room’s occupants being well aware of what had occurred - Josh and Avery walked to Pippin. “You gentlemen are the most regal - the most spectacular Santas this town has ever seen!” Pippin clapped.

“I can’t wait for Thanksgiving to be over so I can take my throne,” Josh said. “But for now, I fear this costume is…”

“…very hot,” Avery finished, feeling the sweat across his wrinkled brow.

“Well, now that we know they fit perfectly, there’s no point in keeping them on. Come, come, I’ll put them back in your chests so that they’re ready for you in Santa’s cottage when the time comes.”

Josh pulled his gloves off, revealing his huge hands sporting three rings: a gold signet ring, a gaudy championship ring with a big red jewel, and a simple wedding band. As his glimmering fingers fiddled with his clothes, a large Rolex also came into view on his wrist. Likewise, when he removed his hat, the hair underneath was styled immaculately, a sleek white wave that broadcast consummate professionalism.

Josh’s robe slid off into Pippin’s waiting arms, and then he pulled his jacket open. Where there was once a bare chest was now more finery, revealed as Josh stepped out of his trousers: a dark green formal suit that looked like it cost as much as a car, paired with a brilliant white dress shirt and purple-and-gold tie. Somehow, the black leather boots had managed to hold another pair of shoes inside; Josh’s large feet were contained by shiny black leather dress shoes with sleek, pointed toes. The big man’s pocket square was clean white silk, and as Josh fastidiously refolded it, he noticed his immense French cuffs and smiled. “Look! I have Christmas tree cufflinks!” he chuckled, holding them out for Avery to inspect.

“And a monogram,” Avery noticed. ‘JDR’ was stitched onto the edge of the stiff fabric. “You’re Douglas Richardson.”

“I…” The breathtaking businessman looked at his cuffs. “Yes, I am, aren’t I? J. Douglas Richardson.”

“You’re the guy who donates the millions of dollars every year to all the children’s charities-”

“Shh, shh,” Douglas said, raising his finger to his lips. “It’s very kind of you to mention, of course, but I don’t do it for attention.”

“Of course,” Avery said, trailing off as Douglas lowered his fingers to his tie knot and loosened it. The sight of Douglas’ rigid collar popping open, along with the two buttons below it that revealed slabs of hairy muscle lurking beneath, was enough to strike any man briefly mute.

“That’s better,” Douglas purred, pulling his collar further open and cracking his neck from side to side. The third button on his tight shirt popped free, exposing the rest of his broad chest. He didn’t seem to notice. “Don’t you want to get more comfortable, my dear friend?”

“Yes, I do,” Avery realized, his senses returning to him. “Will you help me out?” he asked Christian.

“Of course, boss,” Christian grinned, holding on to the Santa robe as Avery wriggled out of it, then taking the gloves once Avery had them off. Unlike Douglas, Avery’s hands weren’t laden with jewelry - just calluses and scars that made them look carved out of wood.

The robe rolled off of Avery’s shoulders, revealing a padded, faded jacket hidden underneath it which was immediately discarded. As the jacket came open and off, a forest of chest hair puffed out of it, free from the undone buttons on the flannel Avery was wearing. The strain on his shirts was always so intense around his big belly that he would leave the top half of his button-downs undone, just so his pecs could breathe. The Santa pants dropped to reveal well-worn blue jeans hugging every muscle on Avery’s tree-trunk legs; his black boots were replaced by a pair of brown ones, lace-ups with steel toes.

Avery rolled his shoulders back and forth and a content sigh. “I’m glad I won’t have to wear that stuffy thing all the time.”

Christian chuckled as he passed the suit over to Pippin. “You know you won’t usually have to wear your own clothes underneath the Santa suit, right pal?”

“You know what I mean,” Avery growled as he loosened another button on his shirt, flapping the  side to allow some air to circulate around his body. “I’ve never been one for a suit.” Avery nodded his head in Douglas’ direction and added, “I don’t know how you can stand it.”

Douglas chuckled. “I suppose clothes maketh the man, as they say. I certainly wouldn’t be caught dead without a suit.”

“I’ll stick to flannel, if you don’t mind.” Avery thought about the businessman’s words. There may have been some truth behind the idiom. He traced his rough fingers over the wool fibres of his shirt, down to the solid leather belt that kept his pants up. He couldn’t have dressed more like a woodsman if he tried.

“Well, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the mighty Alder Wright,” Douglas said.

The strongman wanted to correct him, but there was nothing to correct. He was Alder, like the tree. Strong, sturdy and versatile with a bit of a soft side. His parents had a sense of humor, all things considered. He was an 8th generation carpenter with years spent honing his skills, expanding his trade - and his physique - becoming the best he could be. He even had his own cabin in the woods that he built with his own two hands, a quiet spot away from it all where he could work without disturbance. He could spend hours in that cozy hut whittling away on his projects.

"I’m so glad our architect recommended your services.”

“Architect?” Alder turned to Christian, who looked particularly smug from the praise. “You’re the one who created this whole thing?”

“Am I the one…” Christian chuckled with a shake of his head, before gripping a mighty hand to his friend’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “This guy!” he cried jovially with a point of a finger. “What do you think I’ve been doing with your handiwork these last few months?”

“Of course, of course,” Alder smiled. “Well, you’ve certainly done a marvelous job with it! I noticed you added your own flourishes to the mix.”

“Well, I learned from the best,” Christian said with a playful punch of the arm. “I knew I should have dragged you down out of the woods sooner, you could have seen what I was given to work with! Not to mention the boss man’s been raring to meet you since I showed him your videos.”

“I almost couldn’t believe it when young Christian showed me your internet videos, that was when I knew we’d found our Santa!” Douglas said.

Thanks to a little technical help from Christian, Alder had his own online presence to promote his wares. He didn’t expect anyone to care for the videos of him carving wooden creatures and building furniture, but he managed to hit a niche that proved popular to some folks, particularly amongst fans of some new-age sensation called ASMR. He didn’t get the appeal himself but he had noticed an increase in commissions in the months since.

Alder rubbed the side of his neck, his cheeks a little rosier. “Alright alright, enough with the sappiness. I can only take so much!”

“But you will do it,” Douglas questioned. “You’ll join me in playing Santa this year?”

“I didn’t come all this way and go through all that hassle not to take up the mantle!” Alder almost looked hurt by the suggestion that he wouldn’t. “I have a few toys of my own gathering dust in the workshop, what kid wouldn’t want a toy crafted by Santa himself? Right Pip-”

Alder turned to address the elf, but Pippin wasn’t there. In fact, Pippin wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The Santa suits were perfectly folded inside their corresponding chests, labeled with gold tags that said ‘Mr. Richardson’ and ‘Mr. Wright.’

“Pippin?” Douglas said, striding around the room, his long legs making the circuit in only a few seconds. “Where the hell did he go?”

“I didn’t see him leave,” Christian said, lifting a tablecloth to see if the elf was hiding underneath. It didn’t seem out of character.

Douglas was already on the phone. “Hi, Rosie - if you have Pippin’s number, can you ask him to go back into the experience, please? Things weren’t tied up quite yet. Pippin, the elf. Well I don’t know…he just introduced himself that way…” Douglas’ eyebrows knotted up. “Hmm. That’s strange. Thank you. No, I won’t be going back to the office today. I’m going to spend time with my family.”

Douglas ended the call and looked at Alder and Christian, clearly befuddled. “My coordinator says there isn’t a Pippin on the employee roster…in fact, we haven’t hired our elf actors yet, they’re still interviewing…”

“Well that doesn’t make any sense,” Alder said. “He…he knew everything about this place.”

“I know,” Douglas said. “But I’m the one who paid for it.”

“And I designed it,” Christian said.

“And I built it,” Alder finished. The three men looked at each other in silence, admiring the differences in their equally impressive forms. “I don’t understand,” Alder finally said, “but I’m grateful for today.”

“Me too,” Douglas smiled. “This place made me feel like a boy again.”

“I guess we just…leave?” Christian said.

“For now, until Santa season starts,” Alder grinned, giving Douglas’ huge shoulder a small knock. He pointed to a nearby emergency exit. “You think that door has an alarm?”

“It doesn’t yet,” Douglas said confidently. “They’re disabled until we open to the public.” He set his hand on the push bar, then stopped and turned back to look at the room again. After a moment, they walked out. Douglas was correct - no alarm sounded.

The mall was so big and bright compared to the intimate Santa experience that the men’s vision needed to adjust to it. Alder was still blinking when he heard a chorus of tiny voices cry out “PAPA!”, and he turned just in time to see three children crashing directly into Douglas, who boomed with laughter and squatted down to hug all of them at once.

“Ohhh, my boys, my boys,” Douglas said, smushing two of the tiny faces with a cheek kiss, “and my favorite granddaughter.” He picked up a young girl in a princess dress and swirled her around.

“I’m your ONLY granddaughter, Papa,” she giggled, hanging off his neck. He didn’t answer, but just snuggled her, while his free hand kept rubbing the heads of his two grandsons.

“Hey, be gentle with Papa, he’s big but he’s old,” laughed a cheerful voice. Alder and Christian turned to see a handsome, well-built man in a white shirt and plaid dress trousers. He was very tall and had a beautiful salt-and-pepper beard. A slim pair of glasses rested on his straight nose and he had the same Christmas tree cufflinks as Douglas. In his brawny arms was a small, squirmy boy no older than five.

“You watch your tongue, young man,” Douglas chided with a smile, putting down his granddaughter and walking over to the bearded man. “Hi, son,” he said.

“Hey, Dad. We were gonna go home but once he heard you were here, suddenly his knee was juuuust fine.” The tall man transferred the little boy into Douglas’ massive arms, which supported him effortlessly.

“I hear you got a booboo today,” Douglas rumbled to his grandson, running his fingers over the boy’s knee.

The little boy nodded. “I cried,” he said, with a hang of his head.

“Good!” Douglas smiled, booping the boy’s nose. “It’s good to cry. It’s healthy. You know, I cry sometimes.”

“You do? But you’re too big to get hurt!” the boy said with wonder. His ‘r’s came out as ‘w’s.

Douglas’ loud ‘ho-ho-ho’ laugh drew some stares from around the mall. “Oh, big grownups can still get hurt. Sometimes they get hurt inside instead of on the outside, too. And when they hurt, it’s better to let it out than keep it inside.” Douglas kissed the boy’s two knees. “Aren’t you feeling better now?”

“Yeah!”

Alder and Christian watched the scene with smiles on their faces. “He’s like the perfect grandpa,” Christian admired.

“I recognize his son, don’t you?”

“Dude’s jacked, for one. We’ve probably seen him at the gym.”

“Probably, but it’s not that…doesn’t he look familiar?” Alder stroked his beard in thought.

“Maybe because he looks so much like Douglas. Got that jaw and those blue eyes. Killer beard  too. Good genes there.”

“Yeah, but…” Alder jolted. “Noel! That’s Noel! Remember? He left early to pick his son up from daycare and said ‘see you later’? That’s the son!”

“Oh yeahhh, kind of…” Christian chuckled. “Man, Douglas WOULD name his son Noel. He loves Christmas so much.”

Douglas’ granddaughter gripped onto his leg, her little arms unable to get around the sturdy log, and whined “Come on Papa, you said you’d get us candy from the wizard!”. She tugged on his pants leg in a vain attempt to drag her massive grandfather to a whimsical stand close to the grand Christmas tree. Her brothers joined her in an effort to move the giant. Douglas threw a knowing glance towards Alder and Christian before throwing his hands up in mock defeat and letting them guide him to their sugary destination.

Alder beamed, wishing his own grandkids were still at that precious age instead of college bound. Then he caught wind of a familiar sight and nudged Christian in the arm. “Speaking of old acquaintances…”

A group of excitable kids and weary parents crowded around the stand loaded with candies and cakes of all kinds. The sign atop the stall said GABRIEL’S GOODIES written in a medieval font. But it wasn’t the stand that stood out, it was the vendor. He was a huge and imposing man that towered over his customers and stood almost as wide as his display of treats. He had a lion’s mane of hair around his rugged features, accompanied by a wild, flowing beard that swept across half of his stocky torso. Yet despite his menacing appearance, he couldn’t have appeared more welcoming and friendly, a permanent smile on his face. His face lit up as the equally massive father-son duo pulled up with their kids.

“Woah, that’s Gabe alright,” Christian said with a bit of awe. “Who knew his sweet side was so literal?”

As Alder watched the hairy man talk animatedly with Douglas, he noticed something peculiar. Gabriel looked like he was wearing a robe dotted with large stars, alongside a scruffy pointed hat. Alder scratched his beard and wondered aloud, “Why is he dressed like Gandalf?”

“It’s his gimmick,” Christian replied. “He makes his own sweets aimed at health-conscious folks. Sugar free, additive free, some of them even allergen free. So he markets himself as a wizard because it’s almost like magic. He’s even on the packaging, look!” Sure enough, the bold packaging had a hand-drawn image of wizardly Gabriel casting spells over the featured treat within.

The lion of a man happened to glance in their direction, his eyes widened in recognition. He swooped a hand high above his head and bellowed a hello. A gesture that Alder and Christian reciprocated before Gabriel was swamped by the rush of sugar crazed kids. Alder smiled and said “I wouldn’t have guessed before but being a confectioner certainly suits him!”

“It’s a shame he’s swamped with business. I’d love to grab some of those gooey salted caramel fudge cookies of his. And the strawberry shortcake protein bites are to die for…"Christian’s stomach rumbled at the thought of all the treats. He gave his belly a rub to quieten it before turning to Alder with a grin. "I just remembered that I promised you dinner to congratulate you on the new job.”

“Really? Because if memory recalls, it’s more because of a bet that you lost.”

“Either way, you’re getting a free meal,” Christian said as he slung a furry arm over Alder’s broad shoulders. “So where do you want to eat? I hear Dae-Bak serves up some good Korean barbecue.”

Alder frowned. “That’s a little metropolitan for my tastes. Know where we can get a good ol’ fashioned steak and beer in this place?”

“There’s a wonderful gastropub in the rooftop garden that’s very generous with their serving sizes. Warm wooden panelling, soft lighting, and a balcony with a fire pit that overlooks your neck of the woods, which is the perfect spot for a cigar or two in the evening. You’re gonna love it.”

“Let me guess, you designed the joint?”

“I may have provided my expert assistance,” Christian said with a smirk. “I also provided them with that alpine cuckoo clock we worked on together.”

“I wondered where that ended up,” Alder chortled. “Well then, lead the way, pal!” As the two friends walked off, Alder smiled. “You know, I distinctly remember you losing another bet… One to do with cleaning the other’s workspace?”

“I think you’re mistaken, old man,”

“Afraid to tackle the job, furball?”

The two men continued to banter as they strode through the mall, their large bodies cutting a wide path through the throngs of shoppers beginning their festive shopping. Their booming voices and boisterous laughter could be heard a mile away. Yet something else cut through the ambient noise of the busy mall; a jingle of bells and a mischievous giggle gently floated in the air, accompanied by a peculiar twinkle atop the Christmas tree. 

 

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